The thing is, by me seeing him so often it makes it harder for me to move on and to let go. He comes to the house and its awkward because just a month and a half ago, or maybe even more like 2 months now, we talked and chatted like things were ok...we spoke on the phone, I texted him...just simple things like that...so for me to just have to stop JUST LIKE THAT, because things arent the same any more...it makes it hard on me because when he comes over it is just a constant reminder of what I wanted...but do not have...and thats for us all to be together as a family. Another thing that bothers me is that my son runs back and fourth from the living room to the bedroom because he is used to playing with us both together but now, I dont go in there with them because it isnt a "natural feeling" if any one understands what I mean by that...

I don't want to come between my son and his father...and it would probably be more easier for me to allow him to go with his father every other weekend but 1, I dont want my son around different women. I am not in a rush to be with any one nor have I sought out to date any one...so my son isnt around different men and I would never have him around any man unless I was sure that it was long term...which wont be for a LONG WHILE. He on the other hand, has already started seeing someone else...and I dont know this women from adam...My son already goes around pointing at different men saying "daddy" or looks out of the window saying "daddy" or asking where his "daddy" is at. I dont want him calling another women "mommy" or for him to be playing house with my son and his new gf. 2, he doesnt answer his phone when I call him...so if i wanted to call to speak to my son, I would just be out of luck. The last thing is, my sons father moved back to his mothers house. His mother has NEVER liked me from the first day that she met me. Why, I do not now...when I was in labor with our second child, I had no intentions on calling him but my mother thought he should at least be given the opportunity to see his son being born, so I called his mother to get in contact with him and she didnt even want to put him on he phone nor did she want to contact him...and to top it all off, she had an attitude with me for being in labor! I dont want either of my kids around her...SO i am just caught in a tough spot right now and I really don't know what to do.

I just don't want it to be selfish of me to make him STAY AWAY for a while...just until I sort my feelings out...everything is still fresh for me...and seeing him, speaking to him...anything...is like re-opening, what I just went through...and it is hard. He was my bestfriend...and now we dont even have that...so it's really hard for me right now...