Only had one relationship in my life, for a year + about 4 months.
I had crushes on and off, didn't date until I was 17. I was focusing on things besides finding a guy. Deep down though, I had always wanted someone that understood me- like every one else does, right? Nothing new.
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I was sort of lost and unfeeling after my father's funeral, but I was tired of being sad. He died on my first day of 12th grade. About a month later, one of my best guy friends asked me to the homecoming dance. Surprised, I accept. Our friends had previously teased him when it came to me. I didn't think much of it, but according to him, he had liked me years, and I didn't know.
The homecoming dance was great- at one point, his brothe pushed us closer than we had been all night and told him, "Look, this is the last slow dance of the night- Go! Now!". Awkward but not unpleasant.
After the dance, I was confused as to where we stood. For about a week, we both were unsure as to what we were- his brother, again, gave us the push to ask each other out (yes, we both tried to on the same night, and I was relieved when he got it out before me).
For about a year, we had a relationship that many of our friends loved to love and tease. Both nerds, both liked helping people, both very polite. We would have them taking pictures of us whenever we just tried to hold hands. After a while, it was just something to laugh at.
We went through going to different schools- he was in 12th grade now and I was in college. It was difficult to get together, but we did the best we could. Then one night, we had a miscommunication error, and that ended up being our downfall- but I feel like it just wasn't meant to last. For a year, I had some gentle coaxing, innocent care and genuine healing from someone that cared for me very much- at a time when I needed it the most. I experienced love, which hurts to lose, but if it didn't hurt it wouldn't be love. So I can't say that God didn't send him after me, to get me going in the right direction again, to get me feeling again.
Ended almost a year ago. Since then, I've figured out a lot of things about myself, and about the kind of person I need to be looking for. Looking for as in keeping an eye open, but it seems like it's when you're not searching around that you happen across the right person
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