As i see there are many very good advices here in many posts, my advice to you is to give yourself time to get closer to God, give you time to understand what bible say, the work that God makes in us is little by little and day by day, maybe you will understand a versicle today and the next month you will understand another one and as you grow in your faith, then you will understand faster.
Another advice, (that someone gave me since i accepted Jesus in my life) that have helped me a lot, is to focus my mind and heart in God, because we as humans make mistakes or maybe the church dont do what you expect, but God never fail us and its very important that you go to church because you are focusing on him. I found my church by prayer so maybe you can find it in the same way (I will pray for you too
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In your message you show your passion and your faith in Jesus and its very nice to see someone like you
, so dont be discouraged, God will be always with you and will guide you all the time.