Ninotori,
I didn't sift through every post here, so I apologize for any redundancy. My suggestion - if you haven't already tried - is to look into other outlets the gospel is spread through; literature, radio, podcasts, etc. There is a myriad of avenues evangelists and theologists take in order to spread the word and even debate. Perhaps you can find what edifies you through one of those avenues!
Happy hunting, in the meantime. You always have CC to come to for Fellowship and the Gospel, if nothing else.
