Fear Of Group Prayer

MadParrotWoman · Oct 19, 2014

OK now I can't be alone in this so I'm gonna ask: Is anyone else petrified of the thought of praying aloud in the presence of others - or am I just weird? Just the thought of it brings me out in a cold sweat. The thought of 1. My audible voice. 2. I just know I won't know what to say and 3. Because I'm so nervous my words will be all jumbled-up. I used to attend a prayer meeting weekly at my church but it got silly because I was the only one who wouldn't pray - so I stopped going. Sometimes at church Sundays one of the pastors in my church will ask us to pray for others - the first time he did this I seriously considered walking out or making it to the restroom - seriously I'm that bad. Since then I have extremely reluctantly (and it's not that I don't want to pray for others, I REALLY do) prayed but I can't find the right words and my prayer is always shorter than everyone else's.

Of course I pray alone, generally in a whisper or very quietly and sometimes just in my head if others are around. Maybe it's the lifetime of not being a Christian or being in a non-Christian environment makes it still a little alien to me but when I pray alone it doesn't feel unnatural, I just can't face praying in front of others.

Really this is a cry for help because I hate being like this, I want to overcome it - HELP!

jogoldie · Oct 19, 2014

I can honestly say I use to feel the same way.......I felt like I was being put on the spot.....like I would
Stutter and feel foolish.....almost like I felt the way I pray was wrong........oh that devil......
the bible tells us.....not to pray like the hypocrites ...in repetition....babbling like fools.....
But instead in everything give thanks.......I was trying so hard to sound so religious and knowedgeable...
But that was wrong
God wants whats in our hearts to come out......so now before I pray in a group.....I start with
thanking God for giving me the words....for giving me the wisdom to speak and edify His people...
after this....I open my mouth and stuff comes flowing out......I have read your post and the
enormous heart you have.....and I think you under estimate your gifts my sister....and to tell
you the truth I think the shortest and to the point prayers are so much better....
Your are not the only one my friend......peace....jo

RickyZ · Oct 19, 2014

A lot of people fear public speaking. This is probably the starting point for your being uncomfortable. Perhaps an adult speaking class could help you overcome this fear. Also realize that people aren't (or shouldn't be) waiting for you to trip up. And if you do so what? There's nothing wrong with going wrong, in fact often a wrong then gives the opportunity for an even more refined correction. That's one thing they taught us in the fire service, it's not the going wrong, it's the recovery that matters. So don't worry about being eloquent. Be glad at the chance to participate, and in the end it will all straighten itself out, and you will have the chance to share knowledge and insights other people aren't going to have. Usually when I'm fearful of speaking, that's when someone comes up afterward and says "I didn't know that" in reference to something I've said.

When it comes specifically to prayer, you don't have to come up with the words. Luke 21:15, Exodus 4:12, Luke 12:12, Matthew 10:9, Isaiah 51:16... God tells us over and over again not to worry about what to say because when put into situations where we must speak He/the Holy Spirit will give us the words. The biggest trick is to clear our minds of what we think we should say so we can hear the Holy Spirit clearly.

And follow the pattern set forth in the Bible. Enter God's presence (and invite Him to enter yours) with praise and thanksgiving. Forgive and ask forgiveness for sins both your own and of others. Ask His provision, including guidance of your prayer. Bring the issues to Him and lay them at His feet for Him to answer. Then end again in thanksgiving that thru His Son we are given the privilege of doing all this, and that He loves us and already has an answer.

God honors not just prayer but the courage you show in praying publically. Step out on the limb a couple times, trusting in God, and you'll find most all your hesitations are unfounded. Find courage in the Lord!

God bless you!

Blain · Oct 19, 2014

No worries mpw I have the same issue, its not something that is easy to overcome but I know of a way to get through it as it has worked for me. First I block out everything to the point where it feels like there is just me and God(if you can do this your half way there) Then instead of praying and saying what you think you should speak from your heart, don't think about what everyone else thinks or will say.
When you are speaking with God and praying for others say what you really feel and think, you do this all the time with him when your not praying in front of others and so this is how it should be done.

If the first step is hard for you to do practice doing it when your all alone, imagine ppl around you like that prayer group you were talking about and put yourself in the same situation and from there practice blocking everything out. thought will come into your mind like what they think about you or what you say and such and this is the enemy at work.

oldthennew · Oct 19, 2014

MPW,

you are so precious!

for me, I really do love to kneel and pray with others, when my turn comes to
pray out-loud, I just go into my 'public-prayer-closet' and give it my all.
what I do have a problem with is - very often I become very emotional
and the rush of Love makes me cry.
so, sometimes it can be pretty hard for who ever is praying with me
to understand what I am saying and this doesn't bother me at all,
for the Lord knows and hears my heart.

your faith and trust will guide you, and all will work out
in His time.

ty for sharing something so intimate and personal.
GB

Joidevivre · Oct 19, 2014

Oldthennew - I love it when people pray with tears.

And I love to hear someone say just a few words in one sentence from their heart. (especially when you know it is difficult for them)

I don't like to hear people pray and you know they are really just giving a sermon. Happens a lot.

tourist · Oct 19, 2014

MadParrotWoman said:

I have a hard time too in a group prayer setting as you are making yourself vulnerable to others for the duration of the prayer. I take a moment to quiet myself and then say one or two simple things from the heart. Short and sweet is the way to go for me. I have said a short and sweet prayer for you to overcome this fear. While my prayer for you was not said in a group setting it was a simple prayer nevertheless.

MadParrotWoman · Oct 19, 2014

I have cried before the Lord too - when I've been alone and giving myself to Him. I really have no problem when I'm alone before Him.

Thank you everyone for your prayers and encouragement. I know I have to overcome this...but it's been the best part of 2yrs now and the longer it goes on....well you know how it is. I bet the enemy is loving it too!

breno785au · Oct 19, 2014

Yeah I struggle with the same thing, even with my wife! I think its a performance thing. I've been in corporate prayer since day 1 and I've always seen people pray like they are really on fire for God, they kind of pray really fast and loud and I always get self conscious that I'm not like that and my prayer wouldn't be good enough. Then I think, we don't talk to people like that, fast and loud so why do we talk like that to God? That helped a bit. Then I met a man, mature in the Lord, humble with a genuine child like faith who's pray is slow, he pauses a lot (I assume to gather his thoughts and to hear the Holy Spirit) and its really heart felt, ministering prayer and so I've learnt that and still learning it. It still takes effort and courage to pray in front of others but the more you do it and practice - like anything else really, the easier it is. God bless you parrot for sharing again

TrainforGodliness · Oct 19, 2014

Not "the answer to all your problems", but this passage in Romans 8 comes to mind:

26 Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but that very Spirit intercedes with sighs too deep for words. 27 And God, who searches the heart, knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.

As for those with long prayers and the "right" words, Jesus had this to say in Matthew 6:

5 “And whenever you pray, do not be like the hypocrites; for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, so that they may be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward. 6 But whenever you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you.
7 “When you are praying, do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do; for they think that they will be heard because of their many words. 8 Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.

The point is, God already knows what we need. It isn't important HOW we express what we need; what matters is trusting GOD to be the one to provide by asking in prayer.

MadParrotWoman · Oct 19, 2014

breno785au said:

Yeah I struggle with the same thing, even with my wife! I think its a performance thing. I've been in corporate prayer since day 1 and I've always seen people pray like they are really on fire for God, they kind of pray really fast and loud and I always get self conscious that I'm not like that and my prayer wouldn't be good enough. Then I think, we don't talk to people like that, fast and loud so why do we talk like that to God? That helped a bit. Then I met a man, mature in the Lord, humble with a genuine child like faith who's pray is slow, he pauses a lot (I assume to gather his thoughts and to hear the Holy Spirit) and its really heart felt, ministering prayer and so I've learnt that and still learning it. It still takes effort and courage to pray in front of others but the more you do it and practice - like anything else really, the easier it is. God bless you parrot for sharing again

That's one of my problems - the long pauses whilst searching for the right words. I'm no speaker lol

breno785au · Oct 19, 2014

MadParrotWoman said:

Lol nothing wrong with long pauses.

JesusLives · Oct 19, 2014

I used to be afraid a long time ago. But I thought about it and really I am just talking to God who is my Father or Dad. So I tried to just imagine that it was Him alone I was talking to and zone out the rest of the people there and it made it easier and with practice it became easier still. Prayers don't have to be long and drawn out saying all the right things... God loves to hear what is on your heart.

I know one time with a girlfriend I was praying thanking God for different things and I thanked Him for earth worms at which point my girlfriend started laughing and I was o.k. with that because I was thankful for earth worms they serve a purpose and I sure God had a smile on His face too. So I guess I am not afraid to pray about anything.

Just pray to Dad from your heart that's all and forget about everybody else around you. Cause if you prayed with me I might even be thankful for earth worms...lol

Billyd · Oct 19, 2014

I am still terrified that I may be called upon to pray, yet I open my heart and talk directly to God every time I'm called upon. It's been that way for as far back as I can remember. God bless you.

Angela53510 · Oct 19, 2014

When I first was saved, I came out of the life of being a bar musician. I loved to talk, esp. in front of people. But group prayer terrified me, I was so afraid of making a mistake!

I got over it, mostly. However, the real turning point came when I was taking an on campus Seminary course on World Religions. It was a class of 35 people, some pastors already, most in training to be pastors or missionaries. One class, the professor asked someone to open the class in prayer! NO ONE prayed. We got quite the tongue lashing about if we wanted to be pastors we had better learn how to pray out loud. Next thing you know, the class was a virtual prayer meeting. I realized that I was not the only one reluctant to pray, and that I did not have to be perfect.

I have always prayed in group prayers, realizing that God is the one who hears and answers prayers, and that no one ever condemned me for praying, "wrong".

I think that small prayer meetings are a good start for anyone needing to have a safe place to pray. And practice at home! You can never pray too much.

"Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working." James 5:16

Brainfreeze · Oct 19, 2014

Well, at the bible boot camp I went to, we used to all ways hold hands in pray, we used to also walk around the trailers that we lived in praying, you could feel The Lords presence, these memories are etched in my mind, I would think for a reason. We all followed Gods word and we're all of the same mind set, we were in one accord with Jesus, so to say. So yes, it's a good thing.

JesusLives · Oct 20, 2014

Dear Father In Heaven

We are human and of course You know that because You created us. You know our fears and the fear here is praying out loud with a group of people. Please help us to focus on You when we pray and to open our hearts to You so You can enter in and I ask that You send Your Holy Spirit to my brothers and sisters here to give them a Holy Boldness for You and not to be afraid to pray in group settings but to imagine they are just talking to You alone and that they would pour our their requests and be able to ask for what they need.

You have said we don't have because we don't ask so I ask that you help each one of us to become mighty warriors in You Heavenly Army and that we would become bold ambassadors and witnesses for You and be ready to help and lead those we come into contact with to You and show them the plan of salvation that You have freely given to us all so that more will be saved in Your Kingdom that is soon to come.

Help us to stick to You like super glue and never let us go, also help each of us to put on Your full armor to be able to stand against satan knowing that You are by our sides.

Thank You Father for Your love and Your everlasting grace toward us. Please come Lord Jesus I pray in Your Name Amen.

JesusLives · Oct 20, 2014

P.S. I pray about super glue too....

Dan58 · Oct 20, 2014

Public speaking can make anyone nervous, especially when everyone's listening

. But as others have mentioned, the trick is to speak directly to God. A prayer is to God with others listening in, so focus on that and don't worry about what others think. And imo, short prayers are usually better than long rambling ones. Don't think of it as a speech or a performance, just speak from your heart to your heavenly Father, and be more concerned with what He thinks than those listening in.. jmo

posthuman · Oct 20, 2014

for me it's not about a "public-speaking fear" or any potential embarrassment before the other people who would hear me. it's fear of embarrassment before God.

Jesus clearly teaches us not to pray for others to hear, but for God to hear.
if i pray aloud with the express intent of 'leading a group in prayer' -- how can i do this and 'pray to my Father who is in secret' ? i have a hard time separating the fact that other people would be listening to me and hanging on what i say, from the clear teaching that i should not use 'vain repetition' or 'let the right hand know what the left hand is doing' or 'pray to be heard by men'

haven't the rest of you ever heard someone stand up and pray, and understood in your heart that he or she was not praying to the Lord as much as they were praying to the congregation? i've heard countless benedictory 'prayers' that were nothing more than an extension of a sermon. i have great fear of becoming like this, because i do not think it pleases God.
i think the scripture clearly teaches that more often than not, it's the prayer of the person near the back of the sanctuary with their head between their knees and their heart in anguish that is heard, above the one at the pulpit with the carefully chosen, pious little expository speech into the microphone. prayer should never become a formulaic, routine thing - there is no power in vanity.

i don't mean to accuse anyone or disparage anyone's prayers. but this subject has bothered me for 30 years; since i was very young and first read where Christ taught to go into our closets and shut the door behind us. i know it's what's in the heart, not what's in the ears of anyone who hears a prayer, but it seriously frightens me, not at all because of human beings, but for God.

Fear Of Group Prayer

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