No one truly understands how strong I have been! They do not understand how bad of a struggle is is to just live. I pretend like things are fine but thing aren't fine. I've been so so strong and I am slipping. I try to help others knowing that my situation hasn't been helped at all. I know I've done some terrible things in my life but I ask Jesus to forgive me everyday sins, everyday of my life; because I feel so shameful and bad for the things I have done. I just feel like this bad person because I don't think Jesus loves me. I know that is horrible to say but if he did; shouldn't I feel free and delivered? well, I don't.My life is horrible and it keeps getting worse. I use to be the type of woman to fill peoples hearts with hope, now? I have lost all mine, maybe sin has blocked me from Jesus who knows? I'm trying to find my answer but I have know direction to find it. what I gotta do to live a happy life without depression and anxiety? I do not expect you all to know the answer to my turbulence, you all have your struggles to.. but in case you are reading this; I hope you are blessed and Jesus be with you.
I'm just tired of waking up and wanting to go back to sleep because I know my reality is just that hard for me. I want to wake up happy and at peace. I'm always waking up to be full of worry; I can't be at peace within myself. This is torture for me. I can't do this anymore. I always see the good in other people and how they are blessed and I look at my life and I am in poverty and madness.
I'm just tired of waking up and wanting to go back to sleep because I know my reality is just that hard for me. I want to wake up happy and at peace. I'm always waking up to be full of worry; I can't be at peace within myself. This is torture for me. I can't do this anymore. I always see the good in other people and how they are blessed and I look at my life and I am in poverty and madness.