A
I am someone who is constantly living in sin and trying to find my way out. What makes it worse is that I grew up in a christian family and I attend church at least once a week ever since childhood. I can probably count on my fingers the morning services I missed and still have fingers left. Anyway, I believe I know the true God, I fear God and I have felt the power of the Holy Ghost, I have witnessed miracles in my life, I have been blessed on numerous occasions, yet I still continue to sin. I cannot call myself a true Christian, because I repented and asked for forgiveness but eventually start to live in sin again. I read the Bible and some days I get inspirations but some days I get discouraged and I start to feel so awful that I feel like I don't deserve to live. I feel like God gave me this life as a gift, and I dishonor Him in my ways.
2nd Thessalonians 2:11 I read this and I weep because I truly am confused and paranoid. Lately I have been dwelling into different sects of Christianity and Judaism, listening to different preachers and priests and rabbis. From Catholocism to Orthodoxy to Baptists to Messianic Jews to actual Jews. I even read about non Christian religions out of curiosity. I am not worried about being swayed by anyone because I have witnessed the power of Jesus, and I know that only through Him are you saved. But at the same time, I feel like I have chosen to be wicked and only appear Christian when it suits me. This is my darkest secret, that I never truly repented in my life, I have been baptized unlawfully, I have doubts in my faith (I was raised Protestant Pentacostal, but I feel like a Baptist because I have never spoke in tongues even once) and I feel like I've wandered off too far this time. What bothers me is that the burden of Knowing and continuing to sin. I sin without thinking I sin instinctively, I know Jesus but I continue to dishonor Him in my life. As soon as I get right with Jesus, I always ALWAYS manage to walk away, I feel like He is harder and harder to reach. After reading this passage, about a strong delusion, I start to question everything and I get paranoid and overwhelmed. I apologize for getting off topic but can someone please explain to me what you guys think about this passage.
Thank you
2nd Thessalonians 2:11 I read this and I weep because I truly am confused and paranoid. Lately I have been dwelling into different sects of Christianity and Judaism, listening to different preachers and priests and rabbis. From Catholocism to Orthodoxy to Baptists to Messianic Jews to actual Jews. I even read about non Christian religions out of curiosity. I am not worried about being swayed by anyone because I have witnessed the power of Jesus, and I know that only through Him are you saved. But at the same time, I feel like I have chosen to be wicked and only appear Christian when it suits me. This is my darkest secret, that I never truly repented in my life, I have been baptized unlawfully, I have doubts in my faith (I was raised Protestant Pentacostal, but I feel like a Baptist because I have never spoke in tongues even once) and I feel like I've wandered off too far this time. What bothers me is that the burden of Knowing and continuing to sin. I sin without thinking I sin instinctively, I know Jesus but I continue to dishonor Him in my life. As soon as I get right with Jesus, I always ALWAYS manage to walk away, I feel like He is harder and harder to reach. After reading this passage, about a strong delusion, I start to question everything and I get paranoid and overwhelmed. I apologize for getting off topic but can someone please explain to me what you guys think about this passage.
Thank you