What is your view on making your family go to church?

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Blain

Blain

The Word Weaver
#1
Aug 28, 2012
19,211
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#1
It's a common thing i see the parents get everyone ready to go to church but not everyone wants to go because honestly they are not saved and it's simply a pain but the parents make them go hoping the sermon will speak to them or rather for some it's just mandatory as some ppl go to church each sunday but not because they are saved it's almost like a tradition or something.

Now I sometimes ponder this situation as I see it in the house I currently live in. Whenever i see a kid or someone being forced to go to church when they clearly don't want to go in the service and the whole church scene they seem to constantly be thinking when is this going to be over? and the end result is being forced to go doesn't bring them to God it only makes them run away from him. in fact when was a kid i was forced to go to church and was the same way I just couldn't wait for it to be over and honestly it did make me run from God.

But then on the other hand if we don't do this is there a possibility that they could have been saved instead of running away? is it better to let them go to God on their own accord or kind of force him on them?
 
Willie-T

Willie-T

Banned
#2
Feb 7, 2015
22,418
413
0
#2
My view is that you are at the wrong church. The kids at our church can't wait to get there, and the teens almost all come back on Mondays for "Convergence".
 
J

Joshua_Generation

Banned
#3
Mar 10, 2015
1,174
18
0
#3
Blain said:
It's a common thing i see the parents get everyone ready to go to church but not everyone wants to go because honestly they are not saved and it's simply a pain but the parents make them go hoping the sermon will speak to them or rather for some it's just mandatory as some ppl go to church each sunday but not because they are saved it's almost like a tradition or something.

Now I sometimes ponder this situation as I see it in the house I currently live in. Whenever i see a kid or someone being forced to go to church when they clearly don't want to go in the service and the whole church scene they seem to constantly be thinking when is this going to be over? and the end result is being forced to go doesn't bring them to God it only makes them run away from him. in fact when was a kid i was forced to go to church and was the same way I just couldn't wait for it to be over and honestly it did make me run from God.

But then on the other hand if we don't do this is there a possibility that they could have been saved instead of running away? is it better to let them go to God on their own accord or kind of force him on them?
Click to expand...
23 and you said when you were a kid you were forced to go to church! :D LOL

At 23 you are still a kid, no disrespect intended Blain, you just made me smile, thank you
 
S

Siberian_Khatru

Guest
#4
#4
Blain said:
is it better to let them go to God on their own accord or kind of force him on them?
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He doesn't force Himself on us, He presents to us the resources and lets us do with them what we will. Nuff said. :eek:
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#5
Mar 13, 2014
41,304
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Tennessee
#5
I see nothing wrong with a parent taking their child to church. Perhaps, in their teenage years, a parent can give them a choice whether to go or not. There are a lot of things a young child does not want to do. I certainly don't feel that it is wrong to force your child to eat their supper. It is the parents responsibility to provide discipline and training to their children and if that means forcing them to go to church then so be it. They may force the child to clean their room too or to brush their teeth. These are things that a loving parent does.
 
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Blain

Blain

The Word Weaver
#6
Aug 28, 2012
19,211
2,547
113
#6
Siberian_Khatru said:
He doesn't force Himself on us, He presents to us the resources and lets us do with them what we will. Nuff said. :eek:
Click to expand...
No no I said the parents forcing him on us. Like say you dad was relentless in trying to force you to become a Christian, say he forced you to go to church say he quoted scripture to everything and even tried to scare you into belief. Would this make you legitly want to become a Christian?
 
Angela53510

Angela53510

Senior Member
#7
Jan 24, 2011
11,780
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#7
When my kids lived in my house, they went to church. No ifs, ands or buts! How else will they hear the Word of God?

How shall they hear without a preacher?

"14 How then will they call on him in whom they have not believed? And how are they to believe in him of whom they have never heard? And how are they to hear without someone preaching?" Romans 10:14

My husband and his brother refused to go to church when they were kids and the parents let them get away with it. The brother is a functional alcoholic, so far from God it is hard to believe you could get farther, (age 60). My husband got saved, but it was through the grace of God. And later, me coming along and dragging him to church, Bible studies, etc, because sitting at home, he hadn't grown one bit as a Christian!

Church is only a few hours a week, any child can live through that. I think it is a dangerous precedent to start letting kids skip church, or adults, for that matter. House rules should stand.

Of course, church is not everything, there needs to be follow up in the home, including teaching, family prayer and living and walking after Christ.
 
Jon4TheCross

Jon4TheCross

Senior Member
#8
Oct 19, 2012
1,864
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#8
My family is the church...but as for the assembling of ourselves (the family of God)....

Hebrews 10:24-26Authorized (King James) Version (AKJV)

24*and let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works: 25*not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.
 
M

MadParrotWoman

Guest
#9
#9
I wouldn't say it is wrong to discipline a child into attending church as part of the family however they remain unsaved until they give their lives to Christ and IMO the best way of making that happen is to lead by example - not just by attending church but by the whole way we (the parents) live our lives and the way we behave generally.
 
Jon4TheCross

Jon4TheCross

Senior Member
#10
Oct 19, 2012
1,864
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#10
I believe the question itself should be understood according to the perspective of God.

Matthew 12:49-50Authorized (King James) Version (AKJV)

49*And he stretched forth his hand toward his disciples, and said, Behold my mother and my brethren! 50*For whosoever shall do the will of my Father which is in heaven, the same is my brother, and sister, and mother.

So...also...if we are the property of God...the high priesthood talking to the high priesthood....then we do not have our own family separate from the family of the other member...we have our family...Gods children...our brothers...our sisters...etc.

When talking to other Christians it is better to start practicing speaking according to real life...which we should know is spiritual.
 
F

FridaysChild

Guest
#11
#11
Blain said:
It's a common thing i see the parents get everyone ready to go to church but not everyone wants to go because honestly they are not saved and it's simply a pain but the parents make them go hoping the sermon will speak to them or rather for some it's just mandatory as some ppl go to church each sunday but not because they are saved it's almost like a tradition or something.

Now I sometimes ponder this situation as I see it in the house I currently live in. Whenever i see a kid or someone being forced to go to church when they clearly don't want to go in the service and the whole church scene they seem to constantly be thinking when is this going to be over? and the end result is being forced to go doesn't bring them to God it only makes them run away from him. in fact when was a kid i was forced to go to church and was the same way I just couldn't wait for it to be over and honestly it did make me run from God.

But then on the other hand if we don't do this is there a possibility that they could have been saved instead of running away? is it better to let them go to God on their own accord or kind of force him on them?
Click to expand...
Each child will be respond differently. Hence the difference between your reaction and mine.

I remember going to church as a child. And when I was about 11, long after the family stopped going, I felt His calling me. I can remember that one particular day walking home from church, without my family, and knowing that there was more to Him. I felt His presence and His drawing me to know Him in a more personal way.

For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.
Matthew 19:20

There is much to be said for just being in the presence of God (at church). He is working on hearts and minds just by people being there in the mix. Much like we do the witnessing and sharing about the Lord to the unsaved, it's God's job to finish the job and impart Faith. We do the witnessing and He does the convincing. This is often a process over time like it was for me.

If a child (under legal age and still under my roof) refuses or dislikes going to church with the family, I might encourage them with after dinner places or activities and let them take turns choosing from an option list for where we eat or what we do. You don't go...you don't get pizza or you don't get miniature golf. And that would include having to have pleasant behavior as well. That has nothing to do with coercing them but rather reasoning with them. No one likes to be told, "cause I said so!" But you don't get something for nothing. This is the family and this is what we do and that's a very good lesson for life in general for learning compromise and getting along. Sometimes we have to do things that we don't agree with or even want to do. But who says we can't make it worth their while.

Both of my children went to church with us. Both heard the Word while in church and from us at home. My daughter (25) is saved but my son (27) is not. (yet)
 
PennEd

PennEd

Senior Member
#12
Apr 22, 2013
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#12
Willie-T said:
My view is that you are at the wrong church. The kids at our church can't wait to get there, and the teens almost all come back on Mondays for "Convergence".
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Same with our teen boys. Not only do they enjoy and always make service, but can't wait to come back Sunday nights for Solomon's porch (A teen teaching group). I will say that until the age of about 15 parents should enforce kids going to Church. Just like every other aspect of their lives, parents have to be parents and make them do things for their own good. Then, at some point, the decision becomes their own, knowing that you raised them in a Godly way.
 
posthuman

posthuman

Senior Member
#13
Jul 31, 2013
36,645
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#13
that wise man said "train up a child in the way that he should go" - didn't mention asking the child first if he'd like to be trained!

when my son got old enough that i felt safe leaving home alone, if he said he didn't want to go, i left him at home. except for once, i think whenever he's stayed home he's been genuinely sick.

i want him to want to be there. i'm not sure it does anyone any good to come & worship with no desire to - but the same can't be said for school. Jah said, "teach these things to your children" too :)

i did feel like, when he was very young, 'i don't want to force things on him that he is not old enough to understand' - so he won't question later if he really learned and believed, or if he was 'brainwashed' - because when i was a teenager, that was a question i was plagued by.
(( i concluded that it didn't matter - i believed, and if i was coerced into believing, so be it - election, you might say - God is sovereign. having been taught as a child is no reason to reject out of hand what you've been taught :) ))
 
S

Siberian_Khatru

Guest
#14
#14
Blain said:
No no I said the parents forcing him on us. Like say you dad was relentless in trying to force you to become a Christian, say he forced you to go to church say he quoted scripture to everything and even tried to scare you into belief. Would this make you legitly want to become a Christian?
Click to expand...
The point still stands. And no believer should use scare tactics to convert.
 
Jon4TheCross

Jon4TheCross

Senior Member
#15
Oct 19, 2012
1,864
7
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#15
Seriously....
Thr real church does not go to church...and is constantly teaching by example and words a doctrine to the children the wrongfully call "their own".
So the children are being motivated (primarily) by an example of worldly words and actions which confess living according to the spirit while living according to the flesh snd speaking accordingly for the most part. And we wonder why hypocrisy prevails for the most part in "the church" do called...it's because "the church" thinks they can go TO church. The world goes to the church...the church is the church...and when two are gatheted...we know the rest...right?
 
G

Grandpa

Senior Member
#16
Jun 24, 2011
11,551
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#16
I'm for it.

I would make everyone go to church, if I could.
 
C

cmarieh

Guest
#17
#17
When I was little I enjoyed going to church at least up to about a year ago. I know I mentioned in another thread where I was escorted outside by an elder of the church where he bluntly started saying that my dad was not saved and he needed to accept Christ. I was shocked that a person who professed God's love would say this about my father to my face. It was really disappointing as I looked up to this man. I was also involved with children's ministry where I was told I had a gift and a calling in that area, which I knew about from the time I was little, yet it made me feel really good. I had surgery where they removed my tonsils and adenoids that left me without a voice and I couldn't teach. When my voice returned I said that I was thrilled to come back and work with the kids. They told me they didn't need me anymore and that felt like a knife went into my heart. I actually left this church because of that and since that time church left a bitter taste in my mouth. Don't get me wrong I feel it is important to fellowship with other believers but the legalistic views I can go without. I don't feel it is right to force someone to go or not go to church, but have an open discussion about the important views of going or not going are. When I get married and have children I would not force this upon them because I would much rather a group of family and friends get together and study the word of God basically, the ways churches used to be before they became legalistic. Granted, not all churches are this way but many where I am located are. By doing this we could keep the commandment "Keep the Sabbath Day Holy", but without the worldly influences.
 
M

Miri

Guest
#18
#18
Willie-T said:
My view is that you are at the wrong church. The kids at our church can't wait to get there, and the teens almost all come back on Mondays for "Convergence".
Click to expand...

I agree with Willie entirely on this one, a good church will be biblically sound etc, but should also have age appropriate
activities and treat the needs of young people just as seriously as adults.

At my church the children, teens, young people can't wait to get there. Many would be there every day if they could
with various things going on.
They even have after school home work clubs and the young people love it, they take their own homework and
enjoy the fellowship with their friends at the same time as doing their homework.

The young people are encouraged to take an active role in the church too and I think this is important as
some churches just expect young people to sit still and listen without any other interaction at all.
 
p_rehbein

p_rehbein

Senior Member
#19
Sep 4, 2013
30,186
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#19
Blain said:
No no I said the parents forcing him on us. Like say you dad was relentless in trying to force you to become a Christian, say he forced you to go to church say he quoted scripture to everything and even tried to scare you into belief. Would this make you legitly want to become a Christian?
Click to expand...
this extreme is not the same as what you presented in the OP............just saying.........hard for people to comment on what you are asking if you continually edit what you are asking........

Do you believe every child WANTS to go to School? Do you believe they should be forced to go to school? And why is instructing and raising a child considered "forcing" them to do things?
 
p_rehbein

p_rehbein

Senior Member
#20
Sep 4, 2013
30,186
6,530
113
#20
Jon4TheCross said:
Seriously....
Thr real church does not go to church...and is constantly teaching by example and words a doctrine to the children the wrongfully call "their own".
So the children are being motivated (primarily) by an example of worldly words and actions which confess living according to the spirit while living according to the flesh snd speaking accordingly for the most part. And we wonder why hypocrisy prevails for the most part in "the church" do called...it's because "the church" thinks they can go TO church. The world goes to the church...the church is the church...and when two are gatheted...we know the rest...right?
Click to expand...
??? ................

Mayhaps you will understand it better this way...........The Church certainly does go to church............Always have.
 
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