What do you do when you know a brother is going down the wrong path...

[atwhatcost]

and cause great, great pain? And to be clear, I'm not feminist in PC language. A brother can be a sister, but I'm too lazy to write out brother and sister all the time.

I'm worried about a few on here. They are only listening to that which they talked themselves into. I've been the hard way. It hurts to see someone else go down a similar path.

 

[wattie]

'Where two or three are gathered in my name, there I am with them'- from Jesus.

Context surrounding this is about the process involved in a church family (not church building!) for resolving sin issues.

Matthew chapter 18 has it.

Getting the sinning person plus one or two others together to address the issues. Doing this in the local church family.

Not many churches actually practice this. Alot of times it's not even bought to the church.. even though it would concern them.

But I am not sure specifically what kind of wrong path you mean .. Lynn?


Anyway- resolving disputes the biblical way needs a lot of grace, humbleness, patience and also braveness to face the issues.

From personal experience I have seen several church members who start out appearing all for what the church is doing- faithful, reading the Word etc.. but then come to a point.. where they either overcome whatever it is they are struggling with and stay with the church.. or the struggle becomes an excuse to give up attending and fellowshipping. All of these people have seemed to come to this crux in their faith.. and then chosen the ungodly or lukewarm path.

 

[atwhatcost]

Oh, sorry. I mean on here. And it's not a doctrine thing. They plan on doing things that are so obviously not something God wants. As far as backsliding goes, the slide is 180 degrees south.

 

[dcontroversal]

Go to them and tell them.....if you are correct in your assumption there is nothing wrong with warning them, but if your assumption is incorrect..get ready to reap it......!

 

[cmarieh]

Go to them and tell them.....if you are correct in your assumption there is nothing wrong with warning them, but if your assumption is incorrect..get ready to reap it......!

I kind of disagree with you. If it is your children then yes, it needs to be pointed out to them, but out of love and understanding. I think if it was anyone else that is where prayer comes into play.

 

[dcontroversal]

I kind of disagree with you. If it is your children then yes, it needs to be pointed out to them, but out of love and understanding. I think if it was anyone else that is where prayer comes into play.

Well. it is your right to disagree...the bible is clear..we are are brother's keeper and one of the problems with Christianity today is too many people keep their mouth shut when they should speak up.....there is nothing unbiblical with warning and or encouraging one who is headed down the wrong path.....Moses thought he should pray as well and God told him to lift the rod...there is a time for prayer and a time for action!

 

[cmarieh]

Well. it is your right to disagree...the bible is clear..we are are brother's keeper and one of the problems with Christianity today is too many people keep their mouth shut when they should speak up.....there is nothing unbiblical with warning and or encouraging one who is headed down the wrong path.....Moses thought he should pray as well and God told him to lift the rod...there is a time for prayer and a time for action!

I understand where you are coming from on this issue, but I do think when you say something it needs to be out of love because if it comes out as being judgmental and causes the issue to spiral out of control and make it worse. I know some people that have been corrected and it came out being judgmental and it caused them to stray from God. I just don't want this to happen, if you know what I mean? I do agree with you on encouraging our brothers and sisters in our love for Christ, but we just seem to differ in speaking up when our brothers and sisters are going down the wrong path.

 

[dcontroversal]

I understand where you are coming from on this issue, but I do think when you say something it needs to be out of love because if it comes out as being judgmental and causes the issue to spiral out of control and make it worse. I know some people that have been corrected and it came out being judgmental and it caused them to stray from God. I just don't want this to happen, if you know what I mean? I do agree with you on encouraging our brothers and sisters in our love for Christ, but we just seem to differ in speaking up when our brothers and sisters are going down the wrong path.

Well, obviously it should be out of concern and love....Ezekiel also states that when we do not warn the wicked man of his ways that he will die in his sins and his blood will be required at our hands.....but and if we warn we are free from his blood....You know this is true...we can out of right motives, love and in a very easy way approach somebody who is headed in a bad direction and the majority of the time it will be perceived as judgmental.....I suppose each and every circumstance deserves a unique approach fitting to the circumstances..........

 

[MarcR]

Lynn,

If you are talking about someone or someones on the forum, you would do well to privately PM them; and gently share your concern.

If they are people who actually read and respond to others' posts you might actually persuade them to repent.

If they are not generally responsive to others you will at least have done that which is right.

If they do not respond appropriately to your first attempt, let it go.

Church discipline is for the church not the forum.

 

[cmarieh]

Well, obviously it should be out of concern and love....Ezekiel also states that when we do not warn the wicked man of his ways that he will die in his sins and his blood will be required at our hands.....but and if we warn we are free from his blood....You know this is true...we can out of right motives, love and in a very easy way approach somebody who is headed in a bad direction and the majority of the time it will be perceived as judgmental.....I suppose each and every circumstance deserves a unique approach fitting to the circumstances..........

Thank You Brother DCon and I wanted to apologize if I was being judgmental towards you and your posts as I see we are in agreement on this issue. You are a strong man of God, that will not waiver in his beliefs and it is a pleasure to have you here and as a Brother In Christ. May God Continue to Bless You.

 

[adeelfrancis25]

Well I will definitely advise and more than I will talk to him and tell him that whatever he want to do is just wrong.

 

[atwhatcost]

I kind of disagree with you. If it is your children then yes, it needs to be pointed out to them, but out of love and understanding. I think if it was anyone else that is where prayer comes into play.

I really do think prayer/God's will is key. I've been assuming we're all on the same page there.

But think back on the whopper sin God convicted you on? When you see something similar in a brother, do you keep quiet and pray, or try to convince the brother not to take that trip through that kind of darkness too?

And...is there anything else that can be done? It feels like my life in Christ has been God teaching me, the hard way, what not to do and why, after he shows me the why. (I do something apart from God's will -- sometimes knowing, often times not knowing -- he lets me out until I choke myself on the leash, and then brings me back with a "Trust me, not you" command.) Somebody has to be smarter than me. Somebody, sometimes, can probably learn that lesson before being shown the full-length, way-too-painful experience first. We really can't all be as stupid as I am, can we?

 

[SarahM777]

I really do think prayer/God's will is key. I've been assuming we're all on the same page there.

But think back on the whopper sin God convicted you on? When you see something similar in a brother, do you keep quiet and pray, or try to convince the brother not to take that trip through that kind of darkness too?

And...is there anything else that can be done? It feels like my life in Christ has been God teaching me, the hard way, what not to do and why, after he shows me the why. (I do something apart from God's will -- sometimes knowing, often times not knowing -- he lets me out until I choke myself on the leash, and then brings me back with a "Trust me, not you" command.) Somebody has to be smarter than me. Somebody, sometimes, can probably learn that lesson before being shown the full-length, way-too-painful experience first. We really can't all be as stupid as I am, can we?

Are you sure about that?

Been there and done that myself.

 

[atwhatcost]

Lynn,

If you are talking about someone or someones on the forum, you would do well to privately PM them; and gently share your concern.

If they are people who actually read and respond to others' posts you might actually persuade them to repent.

If they are not generally responsive to others you will at least have done that which is right.

If they do not respond appropriately to your first attempt, let it go.

Church discipline is for the church not the forum.

(Honest question, because I really don't know) Is what I'm asking considered church discipline? I've only been one of the older ladies in a church once, and frankly, the younger ladies always had more God sense than I, so I never had to think of them as people who needed discipline. I'm not even thinking this is a discipline thing now, but quite possibly because I've only had to go for the church discipline protocol once in my decades of life with Christ. I'm rusty.

 

[atwhatcost]

Well I will definitely advise and more than I will talk to him and tell him that whatever he want to do is just wrong.

I don't think "just wrong" is what I'm asking about. Most of what we do, unless we work on what God is trying to get through to us, is "just wrong." But, until we learn why it's "just wrong," simply being told it is, doesn't help.

My parents told me it's "just wrong" to play in water before I learned how to swim. Until I reached that point where I almost died in the water, I had no base on why to worry about "just wrong." I might have avoided that moment if they hadn't assumed I'd be logical enough to get what they meant. I suspect the brothers are me before I learned why taking a boat with an 8 inch hole in the bottom, even if we stuffed a T shirt in it, was just wrong. (Doubly "just wrong" since it was in the middle of a blizzard, but I didn't know that then.)

 

[psychomom]

Oh, sorry. I mean on here. And it's not a doctrine thing. They plan on doing things that are so obviously not something God wants. As far as backsliding goes, the slide is 180 degrees south.

hi, Lynn.

often when we see people getting themselves into a ditch of their own making,
i find it most helpful to acknowledge my own difficulties...

sorta like asking God about my own beam before attempting ophthalmic surgery on someone else.

like this ---->http://christianchat.com/testimonies/100830-raise-your-hand.html

 

[atwhatcost]

Are you sure about that?

Been there and done that myself.

I'm a perpetual optimist. Surely someone... Please tell me there are some smarter than I am. (Has to be. lol)

 

[atwhatcost]

hi, Lynn.

often when we see people getting themselves into a ditch of their own making,
i find it most helpful to acknowledge my own difficulties...

sorta like asking God about my own beam before attempting ophthalmic surgery on someone else.

like this ---->http://christianchat.com/testimonies/100830-raise-your-hand.html

Wow! Thanks. We need more hands up. I think this was it. We all feel alone when the finger points, but when we raise our hands together, we're pointing to the fixer.

This calmed me. At least I know now others can raise a hand too. I think I was most worried about finger pointing (mine), finger pointers, and not enough hand raisers.

Like I've told someone else, sometimes I need an answer before I know the question to ask. I think you just gave me that. Thank you!

 

[Jon4TheCross]

Jesus led by example...in attitudes, actions, thoughts, and words which all spoke The Word of God.

Every knee will bow and tongue confess someday that Jesus Christ is Lord.
I believe many will have to suffer greatly in order to truly be honest with themselves and hear that God is telling them...."You have almost no time left...you better tear down that rubbage of a house all the way to the foundation, and follow the example of given by Jesus Christ of Nazareth and the apostles and disciples who followed Him, which are written in The Bible."

My advice is to follow the following example of scripture...but maybe tell the person before doing so that the first thing Jesus did after public baptism was go out into the woods fasting and praying. If the person is unwilling or not able to do that (and Jesus did this often even with his disciples...although perhaps not always fasting while His disciples were with Him)...then the person is still in bondage and has not been crucified to the world and the world crucified to that person...in other words...they are building rubbage on the foundation, and that rubbage will not abide the fire.

1 Corinthians 5:4-6New King James Version (NKJV)

4*In the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, when you are gathered together, along with my spirit, with the power of our Lord Jesus Christ, 5*deliver such a one to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus.[a]

6*Your glorying is not good. Do you not know that a little leaven leavens the whole lump?

 

[MarcR]

(Honest question, because I really don't know) Is what I'm asking considered church discipline? I've only been one of the older ladies in a church once, and frankly, the younger ladies always had more God sense than I, so I never had to think of them as people who needed discipline. I'm not even thinking this is a discipline thing now, but quite possibly because I've only had to go for the church discipline protocol once in my decades of life with Christ. I'm rusty.

Gently calling a fault to a believer's attention is the right thing to do.

If that believer is unresponsive, taking it further becomes church discipline IMO.