Rape

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jb

Senior Member
Feb 27, 2010
4,940
586
113
#41
...We rarely ever got in anybody from other parts of society, but of course, I'm not saying that this is not taking place there...
From my experience men that are violent sexual ******** are found in ALL social classes!
 

jb

Senior Member
Feb 27, 2010
4,940
586
113
#42
I was a believer when I was raped. (Backslidden, but a believer.) It was my wake up call. It was hell going through it -- and not just the rape but the dealing with it afterward. The only people I said anything to in those first two weeks were my roommates. I told them not to let any guys who came to the door for me in that they didn't know and to be more careful as they traveled around campus. (I look back and wonder what I was thinking, since it wasn't like I told the rapists my name, even though they were the ones who dropped me off at our apartment. Yes, I did some really stupid things, and yet I still didn't deserve that.) They demanded I leave their apartment. (Can't blame them for that. lol)

It was back in the days before the early-pregnancy tests were available, so I had three weeks to wait to find out if I was pregnant. Much prayer (along with the rest of what I did) seeking guidance on the best choice. It was very much a struggle. God did guide me through it though. I know which answer he gave me. MY answer (and mine alone) was, if I were pregnant, to have the baby. It wasn't the baby's fault who her father was. I wouldn't ever know who her father was. (Five guys raped me, and it wasn't like they gave their names to me either.) I trusted God to take care of her for me. I feared I would blame the baby for the sins of the father, so it was my decision (and mine alone) to put the baby up for adoption to give her a chance at a good life. (I spent enough time on this baby that never existed that I even imagined her as a daughter.)

God was gracious. It wasn't a miracle that there was no baby, given there is only a small likelihood of getting pregnant every time we have sex, and given rapists tend to be impotent to begin with. It is an assault, not sex.

I had to go through another struggle after that too. I knew having sex outside of marriage was a sin. At that time, that was the only commandment I never broke. Do I repent for having sex when it was never my choice?

You may think this is a simple and stupid question. Who in their right minds would think rape is breaking that commandment? Apparently I wasn't the only one, since a year and a half later I asked my pastor and he told me it was sin, but something I didn't mean to do. I gave up church for a while over that stupid one. I mean, I sin even when I try not to? What's the point in trying?

I hold that against the Christian Church too. That was no answer. That was straight up a LIE. I lived with that guilt for three years, before I knew the difference. I can run down the entire list of sins I did that night -- that wasn't one of them. It is, however, another problem I see with Christians thinking it's their responsibility to tell what they think, when a rape target is hurting. Why do people give opinion instead of something from God's word? Big gobs of text in there not blaming the one raped on the rape.

And that's another problem with Christians giving personal opinions in public without any concept of what we say matters. "Victim." How dare we use the word "victim" as if the poor, weak, lower-than-thou person is reduced to that? I was targeted! I was stupid. I was hitchhiking on a dark deserted road late at night. It was stupid. True, it was the only way to get home, but the solution wasn't to go out that far with no other way home, any time of day, and especially at night. So, I was targeted, not a victim.

And my actions during the ordeal tell me I'm no victim. I know what I did to stop the assault. "Victim" doesn't do that. I know what I did to deal with it afterward. "Victim" doesn't do that. I know what I did wrong. I know what I did right. I know God has taken care of me even at my stupidest moments. One scumbag had an ax over my head yelling at me to shut up or he'd chop my head off. I had a hood on my coat. I couldn't move my body, but I could move my one hand. I lifted the hood off my neck and taunted him to swing the ax and chop my head off. I'd rather that then being raped. It was stupid. It was also something that changed the rapists. They let me go after that. I didn't care which way it ended, but God was there taking care of me anyway, even in that. That's not the only moment when I can look back and see God with me that night.

And I did get help. I got help for that and the cause of my overall stupidity at the time. I was so deep into drugs that it felt like I was stoned only when I wasn't anymore. Realtiy was too bizarre for me to handle, and God got me to the point of realizing that right smack in the middle of not wanting reality. No victim there either.

So, I did get help. And those that helped me were kind enough to let me see the difference between stupidity and deserved. They also let me see braver, something I never expected was there. God gave me that.

And what for? To stop others who think they get a voice in the decisions of targets from thinking that very thing.

You don't get a choice in how God is working out the life of another. Your choice is simple. It is also the same choice of anyone who has gone through a violent crime or any other dark places in life. Do you trust God to work things out or not?

Trust God more. I was never a rape victim. I was once targeted. I am free now in God. I'm not the only one. We don't need the added weight of your convictions -- especially ill-conceived convictions -- to make our walk even harder. Sooner or later our walk gets easier, but by God's love and grace. The only thing we want out of our brothers and sisters is a bit more God-righteousness, not self-righteousness. Trust God more, since, in the end, everything he wills to happen happens, even if it doesn't look like God's answers are easy. His answers usually aren't easy.
I found this very touching, my eyes were moist by the end of reading it, thank you for sharing...

Yahweh Shalom
 

notuptome

Senior Member
May 17, 2013
15,050
2,538
113
#43
This is a landscape loaded with emotional landmines. I cannot judge any woman who has experienced this violent act upon their personhood. There are some things that men simply will never comprehend no matter how hard we try.

Years ago I was more progressive in my thinking and would have readily supported the notion that abortion was acceptable in the matter of children produced by rape. I find myself not having much support for that notion today as God has revealed to me that He makes no mistakes. It is no mistake when a life in conceived in the terrible crime of rape. I still would not judge a victim of rape for choosing abortion but adoption is much more palatable.

I have no idea what a woman must endure to live with the after effects of rape. I consider it to be a very heinous crime and one in which the death penalty may not be too severe a discouragement.

Why God allows rape and why God allows conception as a result is a matter of great debate. I do not think God is obligated to tell us why but I do think that there are few crimes that bring home the totally evil nature of sin like rape.

How would we live our lives if we saw every sin a evil as rape in the eyes of God?

No matter what we cannot un-rape a woman who has been violated in this fashion. I grieve for and with those who have gone through this great tribulation in their lives. The very small percentage of what I am able to understand does not do justice to what the victims deal with every day for the rest of their lives.

For the cause of Christ
Roger
 
K

kaylagrl

Guest
#44
This is a landscape loaded with emotional landmines. I cannot judge any woman who has experienced this violent act upon their personhood. There are some things that men simply will never comprehend no matter how hard we try.

Years ago I was more progressive in my thinking and would have readily supported the notion that abortion was acceptable in the matter of children produced by rape. I find myself not having much support for that notion today as God has revealed to me that He makes no mistakes. It is no mistake when a life in conceived in the terrible crime of rape. I still would not judge a victim of rape for choosing abortion but adoption is much more palatable.

I have no idea what a woman must endure to live with the after effects of rape. I consider it to be a very heinous crime and one in which the death penalty may not be too severe a discouragement.

Why God allows rape and why God allows conception as a result is a matter of great debate. I do not think God is obligated to tell us why but I do think that there are few crimes that bring home the totally evil nature of sin like rape.

How would we live our lives if we saw every sin a evil as rape in the eyes of God?

No matter what we cannot un-rape a woman who has been violated in this fashion. I grieve for and with those who have gone through this great tribulation in their lives. The very small percentage of what I am able to understand does not do justice to what the victims deal with every day for the rest of their lives.

For the cause of Christ
Roger

It is certainly evil in its bassist form.It should be punishable by death as it was in the OT IMO. That being said I still dont believe its right to abort the child. It is not their fault and two wrongs dont make a right.I saw a Gathier video {some will know who that is} where a woman testified about being raped and keeping her daughter.Seeing mother and daughter together made me weep.She made a difficult,heart rending decision but one I think God honored.
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
70,860
9,579
113
#45
Problem is that folks are too young when they first engage in activities which may can lead to unwanted pregnancy. Young folks are being told that they are free to go sleep with whomever, but that aint a safe thing to be doing. In addition theres a lot of things you can catch if youre on the liberal side of this. So, youngins, think this over: Is it worth it? Rather wait untill you meet your future husband/wife.

I hope I'm not derailing this thread now.
Jenny, no offense but this thread is about RAPE, not SEX. So if someone is raped, they are not "engaging in activities which can lead to unwanted pregnancy." The one being raped has NO CONTROL over the activity that happens. Sadly, yes, many times it does end in unwanted pregnancy, but not because the woman was a WILLING participant in her rape.. :/ No woman (or man) would willingly participate in their own rape..
 

DiscipleDave

Senior Member
Sep 4, 2012
3,095
69
48
#46
Is it right for a woman who is raped to abort the child ?:confused:
Answer me this. How many woman who were Raped and decided to keep their child feel that their child is a blessing and NOT a curse?

Children are Blessings from God, Therefore who are you to decide that a raped woman's child would not be a BLESSING to her?

Who creates life?
A) God
B) Satan
C) Humans

God decides who will create life and who will not create life. Humans can TRY to get pregnant, and they can try every day for years to get pregnant, but it is GOD who decides who will give life and who will not give life.
God does not create a life in a person, so that persons life can be killed off because of this reason or that reason.

What child is born, that is a CURSE to the parents? Are you then suggesting that all raped women who decide to have their child will have a Hell baby? Will they be cursed because they chose to bring that life into the world? Will the baby HATE the mother? Or will that baby LOVE the Mother? What woman will hate a child born to her because it was a result of a rape? NONE.

^i^ Responding to OP
 
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J

jennymae

Guest
#47
Jenny, no offense but this thread is about RAPE, not SEX. So if someone is raped, they are not "engaging in activities which can lead to unwanted pregnancy." The one being raped has NO CONTROL over the activity that happens. Sadly, yes, many times it does end in unwanted pregnancy, but not because the woman was a WILLING participant in her rape.. :/ No woman (or man) would willingly participate in their own rape..
Yes, I been told that I was out of line, and I done apologized:)
 
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psalm6819

Guest
#48
I was the biggest wreck you can imagine the days and weeks afterward. The thought of aborting the child simply because it was my last year of college and I wasn't ready did cross my mind. I've picked out which clothes I'd wear slower than dismissing that thought.

But that's not the only thought. The next thought is, "I'm a frigging mess. I can't shower enough. I can't cry enough. I really don't feel like eating, so don't even ask me to. And, whatever you do, don't make me 'rest.' If I stop to think about it, I go right back to that night and imagine it over and over again. If I can sleep, which is rare, their faces and that ax invade my dreams. Don't make me rest." And then what prolong effect happen to that tiniest of infant growing in me, under this long-term duress? What is fairer for that tiny little baby -- my child -- than to end her now or let her suffer in this body for 4-6 months before my body kicks her out violently?

So, you're being CC (Christianese Correct) instead of PC? Big whoop. May it never be a decision you have to make, as you're busy thinking it's your right to make that decision for another girl/teen/woman.
I speak from PERSONAL knowledge. I was seduced by a 35 year old married man when I was 17.

I was a virgin.

I chose to keep the kid even after learning of his marriage and denial of the child.

My child was stillborn.

I think I am uniquely qualifies to address this issue.
 

JGIG

Senior Member
Aug 2, 2013
2,295
167
63
#49
Rape has to be one of the most terrible crimes upon another person.

To my knowledge pregnancy is rare in such a case.

With prayer. With understanding. And by relying on the Lord for strength, the mother can be strong in her spirit and will to carry and give birth to the baby.

I believe it is wrong. The baby is a human. Has a soul and spirit. Rape, as bad as it is, is not a license to commit another crime.
Beautifully said, Galahad.

I will add that studies I've read show that the trauma suffered by the rape victim is actually compounded by having an abortion, not alleviated.

Rape victims who do become pregnant and give birth most often give the baby to an adoptive family - some joy can come out of a horrific situation, and that goes a long way to the the victim's healing.

-JGIG
 

presidente

Senior Member
May 29, 2013
9,081
1,748
113
#50
Is it right for a woman who is raped to abort the child ?:confused:
No. There is a preacher named James Robison who has a ministry that feeds orphans in Africa, drills wells for the poor in Africa. He was conceived after a rape. Is it right for someone to kill him because of that?

I read an article written by a girl who was conceived by a rape. It always bothered her to read of people who thought it was okay to abort babies conceived through rape, as if she didn't deserve to exist and had defend her right to be alive.
 
Apr 8, 2015
895
18
0
#51
Answer me this. How many woman who were Raped and decided to keep their child feel that their child is a blessing and NOT a curse?

Children are Blessings from God, Therefore who are you to decide that a raped woman's child would not be a BLESSING to her?

Who creates life?
A) God
B) Satan
C) Humans

God decides who will create life and who will not create life. Humans can TRY to get pregnant, and they can try every day for years to get pregnant, but it is GOD who decides who will give life and who will not give life.
God does not create a life in a person, so that persons life can be killed off because of this reason or that reason.

What child is born, that is a CURSE to the parents? Are you then suggesting that all raped women who decide to have their child will have a Hell baby? Will they be cursed because they chose to bring that life into the world? Will the baby HATE the mother? Or will that baby LOVE the Mother? What woman will hate a child born to her because it was a result of a rape? NONE.

^i^ Responding to OP
Theres a number of people here who have regular contact with girls/women who were raped or were raped themselves. For that reason its probably more positive if we speak with fact or gentleness not personal conjecture.
 
B

bondservant

Guest
#52
My prayers are with you if you are in this situation
To be honest from what I have read the odds are against the child. Mothers that are victims of rape usually find it hard to bond or cannot bond because of the trauma, and it is a good chance that the baby will inherit the dysfunctional gene of the perp. Rape is a violent act not a sexual one. May the Lord guide you and keep you may he bless you with a clear conscience on whatever the decision.
 

DiscipleDave

Senior Member
Sep 4, 2012
3,095
69
48
#54
DiscipleDave said to OP
Answer me this. How many woman who were Raped and decided to keep their child feel that their child is a blessing and NOT a curse?

Children are Blessings from God, Therefore who are you to decide that a raped woman's child would not be a BLESSING to her?

Who creates life?
A) God
B) Satan
C) Humans

God decides who will create life and who will not create life. Humans can TRY to get pregnant, and they can try every day for years to get pregnant, but it is GOD who decides who will give life and who will not give life.
God does not create a life in a person, so that persons life can be killed off because of this reason or that reason.

What child is born, that is a CURSE to the parents? Are you then suggesting that all raped women who decide to have their child will have a Hell baby? Will they be cursed because they chose to bring that life into the world? Will the baby HATE the mother? Or will that baby LOVE the Mother? What woman will hate a child born to her because it was a result of a rape? NONE.

^i^ Responding to OP
Theres a number of people here who have regular contact with girls/women who were raped or were raped themselves.
True, i am also one of those people who have given counsel to those who have been Raped.

For that reason its probably more positive if we speak with fact or gentleness not personal conjecture.
What have i said above that is not FACT? What have i said above that was not said in gentleness? (read it as if i am saying it in a kind manner this time) What have i said above that is personal conjecture? (most everything in the post is questions, NOT personal conjecture)

Responding to post #51
 

DiscipleDave

Senior Member
Sep 4, 2012
3,095
69
48
#55
My prayers are with you if you are in this situation
To be honest from what I have read the odds are against the child.
And if there is a 10% chance the odds the child will be healthy and good, is that enough to keep the child? my point is just because you say the odds are against the child is still not reason to kill the child.

Mothers that are victims of rape usually find it hard to bond or cannot bond because of the trauma,
Even if this is so, which it is not so from my experience, but even if this what you say is True, how is that the kids fault? Are you suggesting it is OK to kill the child because the Mother will have a hard time bonding with the child? It is not the childs fault the errors in thinking of the mother. Instead of the mother thinking the child is from a deranged rapist, she should think the child is a Blessing from God, given to her out of a terrible situation. Either way it is not the childs fault how the mother thinks, and the child deserves to live, despite how the mother is dealing with it.

and it is a good chance that the baby will inherit the dysfunctional gene of the perp.
Still no reason to kill the child is it? Everyone has dysfunctional genes, and inherit the traits of their parents. Should a parent kill their child because there is a chance the child will become an alcoholic, because that runs in the family. Should a mother kill their child because there is a chance that child will have a "Rape Gene" lol.

Rape is a violent act not a sexual one.
Rape is a violent sexual act.

May the Lord guide you and keep you may he bless you with a clear conscience on whatever the decision.
Sorry i do not agree God will Bless that. To say the same thing, i could say "May the Lord guide you and keep you may he bless you with a clear conscience if you decide to kill your child.

Responding to post # 52
 
H

hind_let_loose

Guest
#58
Here is the argument we Christians use to say abortion is wrong:

1. A fetus is a genuine human person.
2. It is murder to kill genuine human persons. (unless self-defense, etc.)
3. Abortion kills the fetus.
4. Therefore, abortion is murder.

Now, unless a baby conceived by rape is not a human person, then it is still wrong for a rape victim to abort the baby.

So, when a rape victim aborts her baby, she is just as much a murderer as someone who became pregnant some other way.

There seems to be a widespread -- though not necessarily universal -- consensus among women that carrying a baby of a rapist is very, very difficult psychologically. I can understand that this would be very difficult. But godly people prove their godliness by doing the right thing when it is most difficult, no?

This is a difficult topic, and it is emotionally charged. So I hesitated to post this. Please understand that I'm not trying to put people down nor discourage anyone. I just think that it is important that we don't let the difficulty of this distract us from the fact that what is "right" isn't hard to see in this case.