If Married Should You Have Children?

[Kaycie]

That's a couple's decision. A wife would have to discuss it with her husband like John 1:13 says. As the leader of the family, is it his will to have children? You shouldn't have children unless you want them, can love them, and make a lifetime commitment to them. Parenting is for a lifetime, even when your children become adults you still have to advise them and be there for them. You should not have children just because it seems the normal thing to do.

The command to fill the earth with people has been accomplished, and should not be a consideration.

 

[GuessWho]

Gen 1:27
So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.
Gen 1:28
And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.

Family is the image of God.
What love is more pure than that between a parent and his child?

 

[Goodness11]

Wow!!! I keep looking at the poll and it's always split 50/50. I do wonder, it wasn't until we had our first child in late twenties that I really became more focused upon Jesus. Prayer, studies upon the Bible, attending church every Sunday, etc. Speaking only for myself; having children made me more devotional. I was maybe only a forty-two percent Christian before kids, lol!

 

[crossnote]

$245,340

The average cost of raising a child born in 2013 up until age 18 for a middle-income family in the U.S. is approximately $245,340 (or $304,480, adjusted for projected inflation), according to the latest annual "Cost of Raising A Child" report from the U.S. Department of Agriculture.Aug 18, 2014

John 6:7-9 KJV
[7] Philip answered him, Two hundred pennyworth of bread is not sufficient for them, that every one of them may take a little. [8] One of his disciples, Andrew, Simon Peter's brother, saith unto him, [9] There is a lad here, which hath five barley loaves, and two small fishes: but what are they among so many?

...BUT JESUS!

 

[Goodness11]

That's a couple's decision. A wife would have to discuss it with her husband like John 1:13 says. As the leader of the family, is it his will to have children? You shouldn't have children unless you want them, can love them, and make a lifetime commitment to them. Parenting is for a lifetime, even when your children become adults you still have to advise them and be there for them. You should not have children just because it seems the normal thing to do.

The command to fill the earth with people has been accomplished, and should not be a consideration.

I'm confused? Is it a different passage that I've mistaken? John 1:13 'They are reborn--not with a physical birth resulting from human passion or plan, but a birth that comes from God' is in reference to the Holy Spirit. John the Baptist is sent to tell about the 'light' (Jesus coming) that everyone might believe. It's not in reference to married couples becoming pregnant.

 

[BarlyGurl]

Regarding the content of the OP...

SHOULD married couples have children??? Being this is a CHRISTIAN forum, I am going to go with YESSSSS!
Marriage was instituted by God as being the ONLY legitimate venue to have sex.. and sex's function is to develop, increase intimacy procreative-ly. So I find it ODD that Christians are having a discussion about "marriage-sans children" because that is not a biblical view... so me thinks some views need adjusting.


Regarding WORLDLY practices... heck there are people that shouldn't even keep pets... much less have children!!!

 

[RememberTheSabbathDay]

I am not very sure about the argument "some couples will not make good parents". It's their decision, of course, but, they should analyze themselves and see why don't they want children. Children are a blessing from God; they are the natural/normal consequence of the love between a man and a woman.

What is behind this obstinate avoidance of having a child? We are talking about a healthy, normal, married couple.

This is true that God did plan for loving couples to be fruitful and multiply the planet and they they help stem the tide of selfishness and bring lots of joy into the home. Families have to remain in Christ in order to have such a blessed home. But also look at the times in which we live. This should also be discerned. Not everyone who want children can afford them and this is not good in the sight of God if you can't afford to take care of them from the beginning.
There are lots of things to consider before having children.

 

[atwhatcost]

We never had children. Hubby was married before and got a vasectomy after all the complications with their son. It was five years later before we were married, and he had it reversed.

It never worked. Good thing. After we figured out it wasn't working, he told me he already had kids so the only reason he wanted one with me was because he thought I wanted one. The only reason I wanted them was to continue his family name. (His son was adopted, since the witch wouldn't let him see the kid, and poisoned his kids mind against him.

Pretty bad reasons to have kids.

Ends up within two years we were in dire straits. No money coming in after hubby broke his back, so no idea what we would have done to take care of the kids. So I'm thinking that was God telling us we shouldn't be parents.

 

[Angela53510]

I've done my part! Four children, and so far, four grandchildren. But my oldest son, just told me today he is seriously thinking about having children, with a new woman he is dating. After they get married, of course!

That shocked me to death! Such a reversal of thoughts about having children!

I think there were two people on the planet when God told them to "be fruitful and multiply." Sort of commandment for their day. In a world with 7 billiion people, and thousands starving to death on any given day, probably best to go with the New Covenant, and love other people and spread the gospel.

If people want kids - they should go for it. If not, it would be terrible if they did have children. Although sometimes they change their minds. A high school friend of mine did not want any children. In her 30's she got pregnant and wished she could had more. Her daughter has been a constant joy and support to her.

I can't imagine living without my family. But I am not going to force my love of children on people who do not want children. I seriously didn't know that some people actually believe that God requires people to have children after they are married. I learn something new every day!

 

[Jon4TheCross]

Some men in history got in big trouble for "spilling it". If a Christian is too weak to live a completely spiritual life in this present time...then when they have sex to fulfill their lust of the flesh...they should do so trusting God to make the decision of having children...cause He bought us with His blood...and He bought that stuff we throw away in the condom too.

Hopefully that was gentle enough lol

King James Version (KJV) Genesis 38:8-10

8*And Judah said unto Onan, Go in unto thy brother's wife, and marry her, and raise up seed to thy brother.

9*And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother.

10*And the thing which he did displeased the Lord: wherefore he slew him also.

 

[Tintin]

Some men in history got in big trouble for "spilling it". If a Christian is too weak to live a completely spiritual life in this present time...then when they have sex to fulfill their lust of the flesh...they should do so trusting God to make the decision of having children...cause He bought us with His blood...and He bought that stuff we throw away in the condom too.

Hopefully that was gentle enough lol

King James Version (KJV) Genesis 38:8-10

8*And Judah said unto Onan, Go in unto thy brother's wife, and marry her, and raise up seed to thy brother.

9*And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother.

10*And the thing which he did displeased the Lord: wherefore he slew him also.

That's totally not the point of that passage.

 

[Goodness11]

Personally didn't cross my mind; that is avoiding the act of i
impregnating is a version of disobeying God? You're choosing your will over God's. Mind blown!!

 

[Goodness11]

Some men in history got in big trouble for "spilling it". If a Christian is too weak to live a completely spiritual life in this present time...then when they have sex to fulfill their lust of the flesh...they should do so trusting God to make the decision of having children...cause He bought us with His blood...and He bought that stuff we throw away in the condom too.

Hopefully that was gentle enough lol

King James Version (KJV) Genesis 38:8-10

8*And Judah said unto Onan, Go in unto thy brother's wife, and marry her, and raise up seed to thy brother.

9*And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother.

10*And the thing which he did displeased the Lord: wherefore he slew him also.

Oops!! I was supposed to reply with quote, sorry

 

[GuessWho]

Personally didn't cross my mind; that is avoiding the act of i
impregnating is a version of disobeying God? You're choosing your will over God's. Mind blown!!

I also think that seeking always only to have sex and avoid the natural consequence of it is a form of lusting...

 

[GuessWho]

This is true that God did plan for loving couples to be fruitful and multiply the planet and they they help stem the tide of selfishness and bring lots of joy into the home. Families have to remain in Christ in order to have such a blessed home. But also look at the times in which we live. This should also be discerned. Not everyone who want children can afford them and this is not good in the sight of God if you can't afford to take care of them from the beginning.
There are lots of things to consider before having children.

I believe exactly the contrary! I think we find excuses (most of them are related to finances and material comfort) to not have children and we call that "discernment". It shows no trust at all in God.

 

[sassylady]

We were told to be fruitful and multiply. I would not say it is a sin to not have children, but the reason I hear frequently (not just on here) is people wanting to have their time and money for themselves. Unfortunately many times when I meet a couple like that I can tell without asking whether they have children or not. As hard as it can be to do without what you want at times in order to care for your children, it can be a great way to grow Spiritually when you do not have the opportunity to be so self indulgent. And you do understand better how the Lord must feel about you when you see how you feel about your own children.

 

[thecreationtutor]

Isn't that the whole premise though; is God created us with love, to love; in order that a man and a woman may have children to love? To build a legacy? These are married couples that have chosen care have children but I'm not really including them...these potential parents are viewed as successful elites.

You don't have to have children to leave a legacy. Just because they are "successful elites" doesn't mean their kids will turn out all that great.

 

[Joidevivre]

If we had waited to be able to afford children, we would have had none. There were years without money - but found that God DOES provide what you need. And we believed that He would.

If we had waited until I "chose", we might have not been able.

Now, I'm so glad that way back then God sent us five in 7 years (even while using birth control).

Because when you are old and sick, there really is no one who is REALLY there for you like your own children. They are the ones who take care of you, plan your funeral and take care of the one left. Or vice versa.

Yes, they were problems to raise. Yes, they could not have everything they wanted and learned to do without. And, yes, they interrupted our so called careers. But, oh God, thank you for the gift of my children! What a void I would now have in my life. For in having just lost a husband, there is no friend who could possibly step in like they have. Or understand the loss I feel - for they share the same loss.

Whether a person chooses to have them or not, I would not judge them. I can only say what children has meant to me. And in so doing, maybe encourage someone who is struggling with choices.

 

[breno785au]

I've had people ask me, "So you going to have another one?" Worse question to ask when you have a 3 year old and a 2 month old! The answer is don't know yet, leaning towards no but that's in the midst of it all. That answer may change in a year or two. Then some have suggested be open to the Lord about it and see what He wants. Well! He has said numerous times in the past, be fruitful and multiply! So in other words, we are having another 10! Lol...yeh, we've multiplied, is it up to us? Or God? Both? I don't know as yet, but He has given us two wonderful boys thus far.

 

[PoetMary]

Isn't that the whole premise though; is God created us with love, to love; in order that a man and a woman may have children to love? To build a legacy? These are married couples that have chosen careers and comforts over having a family. Thus pets become kids and life loses purpose. Yes granted; some people shouldn't have children but I'm not really including them...these potential parents are viewed as successful elites.

People used to have children because in nomadic and agrarian societies they were needed as hands. People used to have a LOT of children because, frankly, a lot of them would die before adulthood.

I'm not sure that a couple that opts to NOT have any children can be criticized anymore than a couple that opts to only have a FEW children. Both couples are exercising their own control over the "fruit of their union." Why is it okay for a couple to say, "We want only two children," but it's not okay for a couple to say, "We want no children." To me, I see NO difference between these scenarios.

While we cannot argue that children (in general) are a blessing. I'm not sure it's useful to argue that children are a blessing for *everyone.* There's no real virtue in creating a child...that's mere biology. While there may be virtue in raising a child well, some people are not up to the task. Seriously, just consider the amount of suffering that is endured by people who have horrific parents.

The idea that all people everywhere must have the exact same experiences as me in order to be really blessed by God seems rather....narcissistic, frankly.

Just as Christians shouldn't idealize marriage as the "perfect state," we should also avoid making an IDOL of child-bearing/child-rearing. A couple isn't inherently a BETTER couple because they have children. They don't necessarily serve God more or better. They aren't necessarily less selfish (I've known lots of people who became MORE selfish after having children...because suddenly the world stopped revolving around the sun and began to revolve around their "little darling").

And, while children are a blessing, isn't the idea that you'll have children so you can be blessed a little...self-serving?