If Married Should You Have Children?

[Goodness11]

So my wonderful husband and myself were having coffee yesterday morning, and began discussing families. Our children won't have any first cousins because our younger siblings have chose to not have kids with their spouses. (I have one younger kind brother; and my husband has one younger sweet sister. Both of whom are married to great partners!)

My point of view was; they should have children. They are awesome people, well-educated, contributors of society; and it would spiritually help them grow as people. In the Bible it states: Gen 9:7 Be fruitful and multiply & Gen 26:4 I will cause your descendants to become as numerous as the stars in the sky.

My husband had a different perspective. Some married people aren't meant to have children. If they don't want to have kids, it's best that they don't.

Anyway; I found this topic very interesting Biblically!! With the view of relationships and family dynamics changing; also the view of dedication to careers.

To other Canadian CC's; Happy Thanksgiving, pray it's a joyous occasion with family, and many blessings!!! XooXoo

 

[maxwel]

I think that anyone who DOESN'T WANT children is going to make a pretty lousy parent.

Maybe that's the answer.

 

[GracethroughfaithinChrist]

Psalm 127:3-5
3Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord,
the fruit of the womb a reward.
4Like arrows in the hand of a warrior
are the children[SUP]a[/SUP] of one’s youth.
5Blessed is the man
who fills his quiver with them!
He shall not be put to shame
when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.

 

[maxwel]

Personally, I've been thinking of adopting.

I'll probably be taking a trip to Bryn Mawr in the Spring when they graduate.

 

[Tintin]

I don't think we can say married people 'should' have children. That doesn't seem to take to heart their own desires and abilities. Some couples would make horrible parents. Others just don't want to have children and if they did, I don't feel they'd make good parents. Some couples might just be selfish - that's not a good reason to not have children. Personally, I'd love to get married and have children, but that's not everyone's desire. I have some friends who don't want children and I respect that. Do I agree with them? Not always, but I respect them. I really think such a huge life decision has to be left up to the married couples in question. They're adults, they should know how to think things through.

 

[GuessWho]

Why did they decide not to have children? Did they say the reason?

I think it's sad when a married couple doesn't want children because I truly believe that a child perfects the love between a man and a woman.

 

[Goodness11]

Isn't that the whole premise though; is God created us with love, to love; in order that a man and a woman may have children to love? To build a legacy? These are married couples that have chosen careers and comforts over having a family. Thus pets become kids and life loses purpose. Yes granted; some people shouldn't have children but I'm not really including them...these potential parents are viewed as successful elites.

 

[Pat2]

So my wonderful husband and myself were having coffee yesterday morning, and began discussing families. Our children won't have any first cousins because our younger siblings have chose to not have kids with their spouses. (I have one younger kind brother; and my husband has one younger sweet sister. Both of whom are married to great partners!)

My point of view was; they should have children. They are awesome people, well-educated, contributors of society; and it would spiritually help them grow as people. In the Bible it states: Gen 9:7 Be fruitful and multiply & Gen 26:4 I will cause your descendants to become as numerous as the stars in the sky.

My husband had a different perspective. Some married people aren't meant to have children. If they don't want to have kids, it's best that they don't.

Anyway; I found this topic very interesting Biblically!! With the view of relationships and family dynamics changing; also the view of dedication to careers.

To other Canadian CC's; Happy Thanksgiving, pray it's a joyous occasion with family, and many blessings!!! XooXoo

Why would you get married if you don't want children? Children are a gift from God!

 

[crossnote]

Last I checked, "Be fruitful and multiply" hasn't changed.

 

[RememberTheSabbathDay]

Some married couples have medical problems that won't allow them to bear children and Some couples will not make good parents nor good partners in marriage. Some may opt out of having children and just enjoy each other. Most times, as couples, we don't present this matter of children before the Lord but just have them just because we can.

But God knows the end from the beginning how your parenting will effect your children and their salvation as well as your salvation. God say, all that we do, do to His glory. God must be the foundation in having children. Yes there are many verses in the Bible that speak of children being a blessing from the Lord. Yes they are but, will you offer them up to the Lord to use as He sees fit;just as Hanna offered up Samuel to God to serve Him?

Children are not toys and it's one of the hardest jobs on the planet because how we raise our children will effect our homes, our community, our state, our world.

So is a good idea to pray, pray and pray some more prior to having children..actually this should be a conversation often talked and prayed about prior to marriage.

 

[Goodness11]

Some married couples have medical problems that won't allow them to bear children and Some couples will not make good parents nor good partners in marriage. Some may opt out of having children and just enjoy each other. Most times, as couples, we don't present this matter of children before the Lord but just have them just because we can.

But God knows the end from the beginning how your parenting will effect your children and their salvation as well as your salvation. God say, all that we do, do to His glory. God must be the foundation in having children. Yes there are many verses in the Bible that speak of children being a blessing from the Lord. Yes they are but, will you offer them up to the Lord to use as He sees fit;just as Hanna offered up Samuel to God to serve Him?

Children are not toys and it's one of the hardest jobs on the planet because how we raise our children will effect our homes, our community, our state, our world.

So is a good idea to pray, pray and pray some more prior to having children..actually this should be a conversation often talked and prayed about prior to marriage.

I actually enjoyed what you had to say This is why it's such an interesting topic!! The unfortunate thing is I believe people that choose not to have children don't understand the gifts that children bestow upon parents. Such as patience, kindness, being good role models and becoming more involved in the community. I'm not saying individually childless married couples aren't very giving, bright people; but there's mass benefits that only children provide to aide growth of self with God.

 

[Tintin]

Isn't that the whole premise though; is God created us with love, to love; in order that a man and a woman may have children to love? To build a legacy? These are married couples that have chosen careers and comforts over having a family. Thus pets become kids and life loses purpose. Yes granted; some people shouldn't have children but I'm not really including them...these potential parents are viewed as successful elites.

I'm not married, I don't have a family. But my life still has a purpose. Otherwise, I agree with you that married couples shouldn't put careers and comforts over having a family. And yet, I don't think that even loving couples who don't want children 'should' have children.

 

[Kefa54]

It depends. If you want children to raise them in Christ and loving offspring, that's OK. If you want children so you can re-live your life through them ,not a good idea. ( like..I am your parent. You must do better than I did.


Kefa

 

[GuessWho]

I am not very sure about the argument "some couples will not make good parents". It's their decision, of course, but, they should analyze themselves and see why don't they want children. Children are a blessing from God; they are the natural/normal consequence of the love between a man and a woman.

What is behind this obstinate avoidance of having a child? We are talking about a healthy, normal, married couple.

 

[Tintin]

I am not very sure about the argument "some couples will not make good parents". It's their decision, of course, but, they should analyze themselves and see why don't they want children. Children are a blessing from God; they are the natural/normal consequence of the love between a man and a woman.

What is behind this obstinate avoidance of having a child? We are talking about a healthy, normal, married couple.

I don't know. I really don't know. I can't wait to have kids.

 

[Goodness11]

I'm not married, I don't have a family. But my life still has a purpose. Otherwise, I agree with you that married couples shouldn't put careers and comforts over having a family. And yet, I don't think that even loving couples who don't want children 'should' have children.

Well personally you come across like a very articulate, friendly and sweet person!! (And it seems you already have mass amounts of patience which is perfect for wild and crazy children!! Lol!!) I hope you don't mind if I pray for you to meet that incredible person which God will place in your life, start a family and be very blessed! You stated you would love to be married with children; I pray God hears your heart <3 More love the better!!

 

[Kefa54]

$245,340

The average cost of raising a child born in 2013 up until age 18 for a middle-income family in the U.S. is approximately $245,340 (or $304,480, adjusted for projected inflation), according to the latest annual "Cost of Raising A Child" report from the U.S. Department of Agriculture.Aug 18, 2014

 

[Goodness11]

It depends. If you want children to raise them in Christ and loving offspring, that's OK. If you want children so you can re-live your life through them ,not a good idea. ( like..I am your parent. You must do better than I did.


Kefa

Interesting point!! The one couple is Christian, the other is not. There you go; is that a premise for children??

 

[Yonah]

Gen 1:27
So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.
Gen 1:28
And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.

 

[Tintin]

Well personally you come across like a very articulate, friendly and sweet person!! (And it seems you already have mass amounts of patience which is perfect for wild and crazy children!! Lol!!) I hope you don't mind if I pray for you to meet that incredible person which God will place in your life, start a family and be very blessed! You stated you would love to be married with children; I pray God hears your heart <3 More love the better!!

Thank you very much, sister. I would love to be lifted up in prayer. Not my will, but God's will be done. Thanks again.