Need help with atheist friend whose dad just died

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Called4Christ

Guest
#1
#1
A friend of mine is an atheist and just suffered the loss of her dad suddenly. I have copied the conversation we had here:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1hWnnVORPUakChUtp_9jvhjbYyiToi01JseJCujzKozA/edit?usp=sharing

And edited the names so that Called4Christ is me, and "Atheist Friend" is her. I couldn't even begin to defend the idea of God because she was so angry and closed to the idea of God as a loving Creator. So I tried to just listen as best I could and play "devil's advocate" minimally (ironic phrase...)


How can I best pray for her? I know I may not have responded in the best way. What would you say to a friend who has this kind of reaction?

Is there hope for her heart to grow warm to God?
 
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Chuckt

Guest
#2
#2
They don't understand the problem of evil.
If God was to destroy all of the evil, God would have to destroy you and me leaving us no hope because I've hurt people and you've probably hurt people.
But because God is good, God will put away all of the evil one day because if God doesn't punish sin, He wouldn't be just.
So you can decide which side you want to be on when God gets rid of all of the evil.
 
JesusLives

JesusLives

Senior Member
#3
Oct 11, 2013
14,551
2,171
113
#3
Continue to pray for your friend. As long as she has life there is hope for her.

I don't know why a Priest would say that either really.

The route I would have taken would have been - I know that God is also sad your Dad died and He never intended for any of us to die, but sin entered the world and death along with it. God hates to see any of His creation suffer and die and that is why He sent His Son to die for us to someday put an end to sin and death. I am so sorry for your loss.
 
JesusLives

JesusLives

Senior Member
#4
Oct 11, 2013
14,551
2,171
113
#4
Evidently someone in her family is Catholic/Christian otherwise they would not have had a religious person perform the funeral.
 
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Called4Christ

Guest
#5
#5
JesusLives said:
Evidently someone in her family is Catholic/Christian otherwise they would not have had a religious person perform the funeral.
Click to expand...
You're correct- I believe a few of her family members are catholic.
 
breno785au

breno785au

Senior Member
#6
Jul 23, 2013
6,002
764
113
39
Australia
#6
I wouldn't worry too much about the comment and her reaction to it, just try being there for her the best you can. I say this because I heard, we all heard so much about God and the opinions of Him before we all came to believe that it didn't even matter at the end of the day when we encountered Him, none of it mattered :)
 
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Chuckt

Guest
#7
#7
Have you given them the gospel?
I wouldn't worry about the argument so much. Have you given them the gospel?
 
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Chuckt

Guest
#8
#8
Some arguments don't deserve an answer.
We're called to give people the gospel and then they can fight against the gospel if they want.
We're here to give people the gospel.
 
Brainfreeze

Brainfreeze

Banned
#9
Sep 30, 2014
2,329
102
0
#9
I don't want to come off wrong, I just want to understand first.... This friends dad was atheist, and had a priest/preacher speak at his funeral?

Next thing, God does put some serious storms in our lives, to shake us sometimes. She's taking it wrong, and I don't know if she wants to just know why the preacher said that, or if she has questions about God, life, death, etc..I feel sorry her dad never accepted a relationship with Christ, and I don't think God took him JUST because this or that..

we don't know why God called him out right now, we'd be lying if we say that we did.

Just show her love, care, and concern .. Be what your being, a friend.. she doesn't know how many granpas, ants, 3rd cousins along with her Almighty Father who are cheering her on along with the angels to help her and hope she gets it right. Life's a serious thing.

and try to ease your way into talking about God & the gospels as much as you can, God bless
 
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coby2

Guest
#10
#10
Called4Christ said:
A friend of mine is an atheist and just suffered the loss of her dad suddenly. I have copied the conversation we had here:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1hWnnVORPUakChUtp_9jvhjbYyiToi01JseJCujzKozA/edit?usp=sharing

And edited the names so that Called4Christ is me, and "Atheist Friend" is her. I couldn't even begin to defend the idea of God because she was so angry and closed to the idea of God as a loving Creator. So I tried to just listen as best I could and play "devil's advocate" minimally (ironic phrase...)


How can I best pray for her? I know I may not have responded in the best way. What would you say to a friend who has this kind of reaction?

Is there hope for her heart to grow warm to God?
Click to expand...
I'm glad you didn't defend the priest. That's just horrible.
I had a guy at the office who's father in law was going to have euthanasia within a week. I never prayed so much in my life. I saw that he got saved in a dream. Asked the collegue if he was open for the gospel. He said no. My ex thought I had become nuts. I prayed the whole day the whole week and fasted. Actually I had asked him if I could pray for him and he said yes and I said God would surely heal him from cancer. Oops. Worst thing you can say, but still he was happy just because I cared.
Here's how to get your friends and loved ones saved:

Products By Lee E Thomas

If you google it you get a pdf.
Ian McCormack got saved in his last breath because his mother prayed.
 
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Called4Christ

Guest
#11
#11
Chuckt said:
Have you given them the gospel?
I wouldn't worry about the argument so much. Have you given them the gospel?
Click to expand...

Yes, when we first met I attempted to share the gospel with her. We debated for months, until I lost my faith.
I wasn't able to answer her questions about philosophy or science or various complex questions. At the time, I had only been prepared to explain what was in the bible, not defend the bible itself, not to defend God's character without using the bible...I was young...

It wasn't until years later when God called me back to Him that my faith became my own and not that of my parents.
So, she understands the concept of the gospel, yes, but her heart is closed to it.
 
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Called4Christ

Guest
#12
#12
Brainfreeze said:
I don't want to come off wrong, I just want to understand first.... This friends dad was atheist, and had a priest/preacher speak at his funeral?

Next thing, God does put some serious storms in our lives, to shake us sometimes. She's taking it wrong, and I don't know if she wants to just know why the preacher said that, or if she has questions about God, life, death, etc..I feel sorry her dad never accepted a relationship with Christ, and I don't think God took him JUST because this or that..

we don't know why God called him out right now, we'd be lying if we say that we did.

Just show her love, care, and concern .. Be what your being, a friend.. she doesn't know how many granpas, ants, 3rd cousins along with her Almighty Father who are cheering her on along with the angels to help her and hope she gets it right. Life's a serious thing.

and try to ease your way into talking about God & the gospels as much as you can, God bless
Click to expand...
Yeah, from what she's shared I don't believe he followed Christ. I do know that some of her family is catholic, but only in that the elderly members of the family occasionally go to mass.

I had been thinking about that too, about how God does (as you've said it) put storms into our lives....Ultimately, God is concerned with our souls and not our physical well being. I hope that in her dad's last moments that he cried out to Christ and repented. If, by His mercy and grace, she does come to know Him, it will be difficult for her to accept that perhaps her dad didn't know Him and thus...his eternal destiny is in danger.

That isn't for me to decide or debate, God knows his judgement of him, but she has a long road ahead.

Thank you for the encouragement and the reminder that I am not alone in praying for her. <3
 
Last edited by a moderator:
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Called4Christ

Guest
#13
#13
breno785au said:
I wouldn't worry too much about the comment and her reaction to it, just try being there for her the best you can. I say this because I heard, we all heard so much about God and the opinions of Him before we all came to believe that it didn't even matter at the end of the day when we encountered Him, none of it mattered :)
Click to expand...
Thank you for the encouragement :) I will continue to pray and be there for her as best I can. Thank you, brother.
 
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Called4Christ

Guest
#14
#14
coby2 said:
I'm glad you didn't defend the priest. That's just horrible.
I had a guy at the office who's father in law was going to have euthanasia within a week. I never prayed so much in my life. I saw that he got saved in a dream. Asked the collegue if he was open for the gospel. He said no. My ex thought I had become nuts. I prayed the whole day the whole week and fasted. Actually I had asked him if I could pray for him and he said yes and I said God would surely heal him from cancer. Oops. Worst thing you can say, but still he was happy just because I cared.
Here's how to get your friends and loved ones saved:

Products By Lee E Thomas

If you google it you get a pdf.
Ian McCormack got saved in his last breath because his mother prayed.
Click to expand...
Thank you for the resources!!

...Oh no... :( I think we've all accidentally said something we shouldn't, but I'm glad he understood that you cared.
 
P

psychomom

Guest
#15
#15
Called4Christ said:
Yes, when we first met I attempted to share the gospel with her. We debated for months, until I lost my faith.
I wasn't able to answer her questions about philosophy or science or various complex questions. At the time, I had only been prepared to explain what was in the bible, not defend the bible itself, not to defend God's character without using the bible...I was young...

It wasn't until years later when God called me back to Him that my faith became my own and not that of my parents.
So, she understands the concept of the gospel, yes, but her heart is closed to it.
Click to expand...

in our family, we ask the Lord to lead us to the prepared hearts.
God prepares hearts to be receptive to the Gospel... we can't.

but we can ask God to prepare your friend's heart
and so i will.

the whole 'philosophy and science' biz is a distraction and an excuse, i'm afraid.
'pay no attention to the man behind the curtain' :)
 
Utah

Utah

Banned
#16
Dec 1, 2014
9,701
251
0
#16
Called4Christ said:
A friend of mine is an atheist and just suffered the loss of her dad suddenly. I have copied the conversation we had here:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1hWnnVORPUakChUtp_9jvhjbYyiToi01JseJCujzKozA/edit?usp=sharing

And edited the names so that Called4Christ is me, and "Atheist Friend" is her. I couldn't even begin to defend the idea of God because she was so angry and closed to the idea of God as a loving Creator. So I tried to just listen as best I could and play "devil's advocate" minimally (ironic phrase...)


How can I best pray for her? I know I may not have responded in the best way. What would you say to a friend who has this kind of reaction?

Is there hope for her heart to grow warm to God?
Click to expand...
How can atheists be angry at someone's death? There's no one with whom to be angry?
 
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Called4Christ

Guest
#17
#17
Utah said:
How can atheists be angry at someone's death? There's no one with whom to be angry?
Click to expand...

Interesting point....Perhaps she believes more than she is willing to admit.
 
Utah

Utah

Banned
#19
Dec 1, 2014
9,701
251
0
#19
Called4Christ said:
Interesting point....Perhaps she believes more than she is willing to admit.
Click to expand...
You're spot on correct, my Sister. I truly believe that most "atheists" actually do believe in God but they don't like God's ways and don't like to adhere to His sovereignty.
 
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Called4Christ

Guest
#20
#20
psychomom said:
in our family, we ask the Lord to lead us to the prepared hearts.
God prepares hearts to be receptive to the Gospel... we can't.

but we can ask God to prepare your friend's heart
and so i will.

the whole 'philosophy and science' biz is a distraction and an excuse, i'm afraid.
'pay no attention to the man behind the curtain' :)
Click to expand...

That's a very thoughtful prayer to pray.

Several months ago, in the small group I'm a part of, we were talking about the parable of the sower and how the seed falls on different types of soil. It takes a lot of work to prepare soil, and a lot of different tools are used. I mean you have to churn the soil itself, take out the rocks, fertilize the ground, plant the seed, and water it and only then can it grow. We discussed how perhaps some people are different "tools'.
Ultimately, however, God is the one who will grow the seed into a plant. I do think that he can (and likely does) coordinate people into others' lives to fulfill the roles needed to prepare the soil of someone's heart. :)

The philosophy and science biz being compared to the man behind the curtain kind of made me chuckle, thank you. :p It's true...
 
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