Why me?

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Aug 16, 2016
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#21
In life we all face challenges but we rejoice knowing Christ overcame the world. If you endure for Christ you will be rewarded. Instead of looking at it as a negative turn it to a positive & embrace wanting to overcome lifes challenges. Christ loved us enough to suffer for us so with life you have now you should be willing to suffer for him. As it says in (2 Timothy 2:3) Join with me in suffering, like a good soldier of Christ Jesus.
 
Sep 23, 2016
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#22
Remember Job.....had it all - was a test subject - lost it all except for his nagging wife and unhelpful friends, happened to pass the test, but not without pain and suffering... Job's statement "Though He slay me yet I will trust Him".....
Yeah, just ignore someone's suffering by comparing it to something you think is worse.

Why is Job the measurement of all human suffering?
 

breno785au

Senior Member
Jul 23, 2013
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#23
No not by hypnosis. It was by my family finally telling me after 50 years that i was molested at age 10.

I understand what you are saying JesusLives but my reaction was total withdrawal from everything. They say i would not sleep or eat and just stared off into space. The only thing they could do for me was to burn out the memories by ECT. Basically they fried my brain with electricity until most of the neurons for the memory were totally fried.

I have been in and out of therapy for most of my life because of mental problems. I do not know if i have it in me to do it again. I am just soo tired. I have no friends to talk to, most of my family is dead, i have nothing and no one.
I'm sorry, I wish I could personally befriend you and if possible, help you through.
 
Feb 28, 2016
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#24
breno,

so many of us feel the same way that you do sweetheart, but our Father will take care of him -
all the wile giving us multiple opportunities to help those who we can reach and try our best
to make a difference in their lives,,.
 
P

pottersclay

Guest
#25
Father, we come in the name of Jesus before your throne, for you are all powerful, all loving, and all comforting.
Father we ask right now for for your spirit to move the heart and mind of our brother and sister Lord. We ask that you rebuke all things that are not of you that oppress them Lord. That you comfort them and take away these afflictions. That they are reminded that you shall wipe all tears away. That you are the restorer of good things.
Father we know we need not council you for you know all and we ask that you do a mighty work right now Lord.
For you are a kind and loving God. Let your will be do one Lord...in Jesus name ...amen
 
G

Gr8grace

Guest
#26
Yeah, just ignore someone's suffering by comparing it to something you think is worse.

Why is Job the measurement of all human suffering?
Because he is a witness of what we can endure,survive, and glorify Christ. Job is a perfect example of how the mature believer is going to be tested in this world.
 

OneFaith

Senior Member
Sep 5, 2016
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#27
Why me?

Why was i born to suffer?

Why was i born at all?

"..........sigh........"
We all go through something. I have asked myself those questions too. I thought the lady sitting in front of my pew at church had it all- a wonderful husband and daughter, they probably have a nice house and a nice car. And here am I lacking so much family, struggling on my own financially, sigh. One day I learned she had cancer, and the very next Sunday she was not there, she had died. I never even got to know her.

We all go through something, we just have to pray for each other, and use what we've learned from our own personal suffering to sympathize with others who are also suffering. Without suffering there would be no compassion. Your suffering is a tool to help others. John Walsh suffered when someone kidnapped and murdered his boy. He felt compassion for other victims of crime, and became the host of Americas Most Wanted. He changed many laws that help protect people. Sometimes all you can do is encourage others. What would you like them to say or do to ease your suffering? Then do that for them. I for one identify with your words of pain, please know that I care.
 

JesusLives

Senior Member
Oct 11, 2013
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#28
Yeah, just ignore someone's suffering by comparing it to something you think is worse.

Why is Job the measurement of all human suffering?
I didn't and haven't ignored this man's pain....Why use Job as an example....uh...well let's see here... He lost EVERYTHING in a short period of time and then was covered in sores scraping the scabs off in pain sitting in the dirt with a wife telling him to curse God and just die and friends accusing him of sinning to the point of causing all these problems to come upon himself.

Seems like a pretty good example of EXTREME Pain and Suffering to me. Not many of us have had the extremes that were put on Job....

Would you like another smaller example of loss pain and suffering?

I was molested/fondled by two different men before the age of 6, found my mother dead at 8 years old, my father died of cancer when I was 12, got married at 17 divorced at 24, attempted suicide at 40 and on meds and treatment for depression for 18 months. Life in general on this sinful planet is not easy and as I told our brother who is hurting we can't control the things that happen to us but we can control how we react to it. Yes, sometimes meds and therapy is needed. Keeping close to God is the best thing one can do but sometimes it's hard to find Him in such depression.

I do understand where he is coming from and been down some of the same roads.... at this point in my life I choose to be happy and rest in God's love that He has for me and our Brother. We all need to focus more on Jesus and a lot less on ourselves. Job wasn't a bad example of pain, loss and suffering. And no I did not and have not ignored our brother I have empathized with him....and prayers for him.
 

Hizikyah

Senior Member
Aug 25, 2013
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#29
1Pet 4:12 Beloved ones, do not be surprised at the fiery trial that is coming upon you, to try you, as though some unusual matter has befallen you,
1Pet 4:13 but as you share Messiah’s sufferings, rejoice, in order that you might rejoice exultingly at the revelation of His esteem.

Rev 21:3 And I heard a loud voice from the heaven saying, “See, the Booth of Elohim is with men, and He shall dwell with them, and they shall be His people, and Elohim Himself shall be with them and be their Elohim.

Rev 21:4 “And Elohim shall wipe away every tear from their eyes, and there shall be no more death, nor mourning, nor crying. And there shall be no more pain, for the former matters have passed away.”
 
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ladylynn

Guest
#30
Job was delivered from his suffering in about 9 months., so a "Job experience" is not a life long situation. Many things Job said and thought and did based on his ideas about God were not the truth about God. Job had a lot of wrong ideas because he was a man even though he was a righteous man he was just and still a man. God had mercy on Job and walked the man through to the other side of his mess and God blessed Job greatly in the end. God loved Job very much.

Here is some info about Job. Job worried about his kids and he even offered burnt offerings daily., that is how much he feared for his kids. Basically he worried ...ALOT. Job didn't have it all right either. He allowed worry to creep in and become a focus. Even something good like praying for our children can turn into something wrong if we don't trust in the goodness of God. God loves our kids more than we ever could. Being confident of that also pleases God. Truth pleases God and when we believe the truth about Him., that also pleases God. God gets blamed for a lot of stuff He isn't responsible for.

I don't think God is pleased when we believe the enemy when he lies about God. I for one have to daily put off wrong ideas about God that get thrown my way. satan can throw lies about God and life our way but we don't have to catch them. We can let them drop to the ground where those lies belong.

When Job said "though He slay me yet will I trust Him" Those were Job's ideas put to words just like Job's daily worry and sacrificing burnt offerings up for his kids that he thought was a good thing to do. Job had this idea that it was God slaying him. But that was not the truth of the matter. Just like many people today blame God for their suffering.

It was satan who sought to destroy Job., not God. God doesn't send horrors to us. It is our enemy who seeks to get us to believe God is wanting us to suffer and to kill us. Our Father God did the very opposite when He sent Jesus to remedy that mess. God is not behind the mess. He is the true loving Father who is behind fixing it.

We must remember., God is good and wants our best because God loves us and He sent Jesus to show us just how much. satan hates us and wants all things bad for us. he wants us to suffer and be confused and depressed and totally messed up. satan wants us to believe the lie about God being the author of sickness and death and confusion. When it is satan who is the one the Bible calls the one who seeks to kill-steal and destroy us. Please remember it is not our wonderful loving Father that seeks to kill and destroy us. God is the One who sent His Son Jesus to help us and deliver us from all our troubles.

Depression is real and debilitating. And Jesus died to free us from that sort of confusion. And it does take time to unlearn wrong ways of thinking and learn how to think properly. It takes time for the Holy Spirit to transform us by the renewing of our minds. The Bible says God has given us the Spirit of power and love and a sound mind. We are called to work out what Jesus has worked in. Our life is also about going through the process of learning who we are IN Christ. And the Holy Spirit will teach us and He will comfort us as we go through the process of learning.

I was very much debilitated by depression for many years and Jesus brought me through. There is so much to learn and there is love and power in the process to encourage us to keep moving forward. We are not alone although it "feels" like it when we are in the hole of depression and confusion. One can't "think their way out" of depression. Only Jesus can get us out. And He will. And He will use different avenues in our daily life to bring us out like doctors, medication, along with His Word and the Holy Spirit who is our comforter and guide. We can trust Him. I'm praying for you too Ken.
 
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lastofall

Senior Member
Aug 26, 2014
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#31
"Then cometh Jesus from Galilee to Jordan unto John, to be baptized of him. But John forbad him, saying, I have need to be baptized of thee, and comest thou to me? And Jesus answering said unto him, Suffer it to be so now: for thus it becometh us to fulfil all righteousness. Then he suffered him." (Matthew 3:13-15)
 
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Miri

Guest
#32

I've never been molested but I've been through a lot of things in life.

Was brought up in foster care by my aunt, as my birth mum had
Schizophrenia.

Had to deal with a grandfather who hated my guts because he was racist and I'm
mixed race, he blamed me for my birth mother's mental health problems.

Had to deal with one of my cousins who was alcoholic and tried to commit suicide twice.

My aunt who fostered me was a single mum to 4 boys and she had a nervous brake
down when I was 11 so from that age, I pretty much had to learn how to take care of
my own emotional needs and to some extent, my physical needs. Even before then
I had to deal with my own emotional needs.

There was no one to give out advice about growing up, responsibilities, life, how
to apply for jobs, open a bank account etc, I had to figure all this out myself, how my
body was changing etc, as my aunt spent much of her days drugged up on tranquillisers.

I am now a carer for my elderly aunt, last year especially was the worst time of
both of our life's. She was hospitalised for much of it and I had to juggle going to
work, hospital visits, dealing with all the medical beurocracy etc. Making lots of
important decisions without any help but God.

In 2014 I found out my birth mother, who I have not seen since about the age of
6-7 had died. I had to deal with all the emotional issues about that and the past and
contact solicitors to sort out a small amount of money she had left and via another
company, to try to track down siblings I had not seen since I was a child. It was
not possible to find them, just my older brother. But this alone brought up all
sorts of emotions, did I want to find them,what would I say to them, did they want to
know me etc.

Why am I telling you this. Its like Blue said, stuff happens to us all.

We can sit and have a pity party, or be determined to deal with it and move
on. That might sound harsh but I've been there, I've had plenty of pity parties
and I have to tell you it doesn't work, it makes you feel worse. It becomes a
vicious cycle that is hard to break.

Look at this as an opportunity to finally deal with all these hidden issues.
The darkness has been uncovered, now under God's love and revelation you
have a chance at least of putting all this behind you.

So... Try this get a piece of paper write at the very top
1) go to see doctor about depression
2) arrange counselling

Then think about things you would like to try out or do, it might be a hobby you
haven't done for a while or something. It might be to lose weight or get fit,
join a gym etc.

It might be to learn how to cook or bake, or go on a gardening course.
It might be to get into creative writing, poetry etc, fixing cars, plumbing,
woodwork. Go to church, make new friends, whatever appeals to you.


Include these on your list

3)
4)
5) etc

Dont forget to include time for spending with God on that list, that needs to be
as high up the list as possible.

Then gradually go through them one at a time as you feel able to.

Until you see your doctor about that depression and get treatment, all of this might
seem too much at the moment, but as the fog starts to clear that list will give you
something to focus on and achieve. It will help you to get back on track and
realise there is still plenty of life to live. Still plenty to achieve etc.

People with depression think they have no control over life, but they do.
You have two choices, to do nothing feel worse and get worse. Or to say I'm
not going to be like this anymore I'm going to stop having a pity party and
do something about it. Even if it's baby steps, it's one step moving forward
at a time. No one expects you to run a marathon but you have it within
yourself to make small steps towards getting better.

Only you can make the decision to say "I am better than all this stuff, I will
overcome it and deal with it."

Jesus said we will overcome the world, let Him help you and be that overcomer.

 
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ladylynn

Guest
#33
The thing about clinical depression and anxiety is it doesn't listen to you. There are chemical issues going on with people who suffer from the many mental illnesses that are out there. It really is an illness like any other and needs a process of healing. Telling someone to quit feeling sorry for yourself is not helpful to someone who has this illness. It's about as helpful as telling someone with a broken leg to just quit thinking about it and just walk it off.

Overcoming mental illness is basically learning how to live all over again. Things you thought were real and true you find out are not and never were. This alone is a major SHOCK., but it also offers the person much hope. If they were wrong about this than they were also wrong about other things that caused them to react in a wrong way most of their lives.

Most people have no idea what clinical depression is about. Not only the ones suffering from it but the ones who try to help. Going to a good Doctor who is a believer is a major step in the right direction.
 
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Miri

Guest
#34
Incidentally therapy is not a magic wand.
If you go into it thinking someone else is going to make things all better,
for you, then it won't work.

Counselling is a tool not a cure, you have to take responsibility for getting
better yourself and use "the tool" to help with that.

It's like say, you want help chopping down a tree so someone puts an axe in your hand
but you never swing it at the tree. Then 10 years later you wonder why the tree is
still standing!

The axe won't fell the tree on its own, you have to put in the effort and swing that axe
until it comes down.

You can do this, you can bring that tree of despair and depression tumbling down.
Instead replace it with the tree of life - Jesus.
 
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ladylynn

Guest
#35
A person who is lost cannot make them selves by their sheer will-power be un lost. It just doesn't work that way. Re learning how to think is a process and that process doesn't begin until you are not sinking below the surface. First you have to get help from drowning.
 
Sep 17, 2016
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#36
on a simple level, we are all born to be a companion to another, want to talk?
 
Sep 17, 2016
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#37
No not by hypnosis. It was by my family finally telling me after 50 years that i was molested at age 10.

I understand what you are saying JesusLives but my reaction was total withdrawal from everything. They say i would not sleep or eat and just stared off into space. The only thing they could do for me was to burn out the memories by ECT. Basically they fried my brain with electricity until most of the neurons for the memory were totally fried.

I have been in and out of therapy for most of my life because of mental problems. I do not know if i have it in me to do it again. I am just soo tired. I have no friends to talk to, most of my family is dead, i have nothing and no one.
I do not want to come across as blunt, but if you were actually molested at age 10, and you had no concept of it for 50 years, would it be in the right to say the experience as it occurred was not as bad as the stigma you are feeling about it now, considering whatever twisted thing told you was molestation, you went 50 years believing wasn't molestation, and you did not feel molested then, or for 50 years after it?

Would this not mean the experience of being told what happened was molestation was worse than what you actually went through, and also suggest these people's ideas of what molestation is, perhaps might not be what molestation is in a sense you would have to feel defiled over it?

molestation is such a broad word for contact, if anybody put their hand on your shoulder to comfort you at a time in your life, some sick perverted person could walk up and technically claim they molested you, does this make this common form of helping somebody feel better a dispisicable act of defilement and sexual activity? of coarse not.

If you went 50 years after someone touching you, and never thought of it as molestation, what actually happened could not have been as bothersome as the perverted explanation somebody told you they thought it was after.

Why not let what wasn't an issue for 50 years and was no fault of your own hurt you now? how many other things from 50 years ago could somebody reword until it sounded like a problem could they convince you of which for 50 years never bothered you, if they can bring up something from the past you never viewed a certain way as being messed up, are you about to let everything resolved from your past become unresolved by the people telling you these things?

and before you say there is no basis for what im saying, this is my stance in my life on the same issue, if the experience itself didn't hurt me, I do not let thoughts afterward cause me pain, where would the end be drawn doing this?

friendinpeace
 
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Mar 28, 2016
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#38
I can relate with the friends and the family in that way.

I have been suffering in a similar way. Friends that exercise the love of God are hard to find . I hope you can find one. Many here show themselves a friendly.

I pray you keep looking up for strength.
 
Sep 16, 2014
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#39
friendinpeace, my family told me i was repeatedly raped by this person for over a year. It was not just someone touching me the wrong way.

I can handle the thought of maybe just being touched the wrong way. BUT boys should not be raped!!!!

Sorry but i have to leave. Believe what you want, but you have made me feel worse........
 

Huglife

Senior Member
Aug 15, 2016
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#40
friendinpeace, my family told me i was repeatedly raped by this person for over a year. It was not just someone touching me the wrong way.

I can handle the thought of maybe just being touched the wrong way. BUT boys should not be raped!!!!

Sorry but i have to leave. Believe what you want, but you have made me feel worse........
No don't leave ken. We are sorry if we offended you. It is sad that you had to go thru that. I apologize that we would doubt your story. Please don't leave. We are sorry:)