Why me?

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blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#41
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
9,601
113
#41
friendinpeace said:
I do not want to come across as blunt, but if you were actually molested at age 10, and you had no concept of it for 50 years, would it be in the right to say the experience as it occurred was not as bad as the stigma you are feeling about it now, considering whatever twisted thing told you was molestation, you went 50 years believing wasn't molestation, and you did not feel molested then, or for 50 years after it?

Would this not mean the experience of being told what happened was molestation was worse than what you actually went through, and also suggest these people's ideas of what molestation is, perhaps might not be what molestation is in a sense you would have to feel defiled over it?

molestation is such a broad word for contact, if anybody put their hand on your shoulder to comfort you at a time in your life, some sick perverted person could walk up and technically claim they molested you, does this make this common form of helping somebody feel better a dispisicable act of defilement and sexual activity? of coarse not.

If you went 50 years after someone touching you, and never thought of it as molestation, what actually happened could not have been as bothersome as the perverted explanation somebody told you they thought it was after.

Why not let what wasn't an issue for 50 years and was no fault of your own hurt you now? how many other things from 50 years ago could somebody reword until it sounded like a problem could they convince you of which for 50 years never bothered you, if they can bring up something from the past you never viewed a certain way as being messed up, are you about to let everything resolved from your past become unresolved by the people telling you these things?

and before you say there is no basis for what im saying, this is my stance in my life on the same issue, if the experience itself didn't hurt me, I do not let thoughts afterward cause me pain, where would the end be drawn doing this?

friendinpeace
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What the heck is wrong with you?! You're basically downplaying the seriousness of what happened to KA as a child.. No wonder he feels worse after having read your response.. :/ SMH
 
Huglife

Huglife

Senior Member
#42
Aug 15, 2016
2,543
50
48
#42
blue_ladybug said:
What the heck is wrong with you?! You're basically downplaying the seriousness of what happened to KA as a child.. No wonder he feels worse after having read your response.. :/ SMH
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It made me sad... What right do we have to question his problem? He deserves our help, and freindinpeace you downplay it. I seriously doubt he would lie about something like that.
 
T

TemporaryCircumstances

Guest
#43
#43
friendinpeace said:
I do not want to come across as blunt, but if you were actually molested at age 10, and you had no concept of it for 50 years, would it be in the right to say the experience as it occurred was not as bad as the stigma you are feeling about it now, considering whatever twisted thing told you was molestation, you went 50 years believing wasn't molestation, and you did not feel molested then, or for 50 years after it?

Would this not mean the experience of being told what happened was molestation was worse than what you actually went through, and also suggest these people's ideas of what molestation is, perhaps might not be what molestation is in a sense you would have to feel defiled over it?

molestation is such a broad word for contact, if anybody put their hand on your shoulder to comfort you at a time in your life, some sick perverted person could walk up and technically claim they molested you, does this make this common form of helping somebody feel better a dispisicable act of defilement and sexual activity? of coarse not.

If you went 50 years after someone touching you, and never thought of it as molestation, what actually happened could not have been as bothersome as the perverted explanation somebody told you they thought it was after.

Why not let what wasn't an issue for 50 years and was no fault of your own hurt you now? how many other things from 50 years ago could somebody reword until it sounded like a problem could they convince you of which for 50 years never bothered you, if they can bring up something from the past you never viewed a certain way as being messed up, are you about to let everything resolved from your past become unresolved by the people telling you these things?

and before you say there is no basis for what im saying, this is my stance in my life on the same issue, if the experience itself didn't hurt me, I do not let thoughts afterward cause me pain, where would the end be drawn doing this?

friendinpeace
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Are you kidding?
That's really what you choose to say?!?!
I swear....
You come here, and see someone is going through something awful and you decide to say that?!?!
 
P

PaulMack

Banned
#44
Dec 10, 2015
494
14
0
#44
O MY GOD! What are you doing friendinpeace???????????? Have you no concept of suffering????????

So if a person is thinking of killing themselves you would give them a loaded gun and say go ahead and do it???
 
T

TemporaryCircumstances

Guest
#45
#45
PaulMack said:
O MY GOD! What are you doing friendinpeace???????????? Have you no concept of suffering????????

So if a person is thinking of killing themselves you would give them a loaded gun and say go ahead and do it???
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Exactly! :(
 
P

pottersclay

Guest
#46
#46
please let the Lord council, we all mean well but do not know the heart as our father does. I think this matter is better between creator and created. Let us do our duty in prayer and thought. Let's each grab a arm and hold it high for him.
Life happens to us all, and the painful realities scare our minds and hearts to a hurt so deep that only Devine intervention can reach. As I posted on another thread the Lord gave me this song and I give it to all the hurt in this and anyway.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=cH_LLGiE0f0#
 
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pottersclay

Guest
#47
#47
Last edited by a moderator:
L

ladylynn

Guest
#49
#49
pottersclay said:
please let the Lord council, we all mean well but do not know the heart as our father does. I think this matter is better between creator and created. Let us do our duty in prayer and thought. Let's each grab a arm and hold it high for him.
Life happens to us all, and the painful realities scare our minds and hearts to a hurt so deep that only Devine intervention can reach. As I posted on another thread the Lord gave me this song and I give it to all the hurt in this and anyway.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=cH_LLGiE0f0#
Click to expand...


Beautiful song. Thanks for sharing.
 
K

KenAllan

Banned
#50
Sep 16, 2014
1,278
23
0
#50
"On the outside looking in."

So many posts, so much Truth, so many kind responses. But the Truth be had no one on here can really understand the Hell a Gay person goes through daily just for being Gay.

Yes sin is sin and there is not much difference in different sins. Its not so much the difference as it is being an outcast, on the outside looking in. Yes people try to understand, but never truly understand the Hell we go through.

Even Christian Churches who are suppose to Love all sinners, draw a line with Gay people. Never wanting them in their Church. They pretend they are with you in your struggles, but not really wanting you in their Church. Before you know it you are again on the outside looking in.

We spend our whole life on the outside always looking in, but never being accepted no matter what we do. No matter how much we repent of being Gay, No matter how much we try to change. No matter how much we try to fit in. The Truth be told many Christians and Churches rather have nothing to do with us.

Always on the outside looking in.....sigh
 
P

pottersclay

Guest
#51
#51
KenAllan said:
"On the outside looking in."

So many posts, so much Truth, so many kind responses. But the Truth be had no one on here can really understand the Hell a Gay person goes through daily just for being Gay.

Yes sin is sin and there is not much difference in different sins. Its not so much the difference as it is being an outcast, on the outside looking in. Yes people try to understand, but never truly understand the Hell we go through.

Even Christian Churches who are suppose to Love all sinners, draw a line with Gay people. Never wanting them in their Church. They pretend they are with you in your struggles, but not really wanting you in their Church. Before you know it you are again on the outside looking in.

We spend our whole life on the outside always looking in, but never being accepted no matter what we do. No matter how much we repent of being Gay, No matter how much we try to change. No matter how much we try to fit in. The Truth be told many Christians and Churches rather have nothing to do with us.

Always on the outside looking in.....sigh
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To be brutally honest with you my friend your right. I would never pretend to know or say that I know what your going through. As for the stigma that the lifestyle causes I can only imagine the hurt and confusion, along with the conviction it causes. I would like to extend a olive branch to you and pray the Lord work on my heart to be the person he would want Me to be in this matter. You are very brave to be so transparent in these matters knowing the position we take on the subject. I will say I will stand with you in prayer against this affliction but as you know I can never condone it. May the Lord guide us both in the truth of these matters. No one should suffer the affliction of sin as it has been dealt with on the cross. You are in my thoughts and prayers and please be reassured that the Lord's arms are continuously extended towards you.


Sincerely....Potter.
 
K

KenAllan

Banned
#52
Sep 16, 2014
1,278
23
0
#52
Thank you pottersclay for your kind words. Yes it is hard to expose oneself to many judgemental Christians. Too many people believe we want to live this lifestyle. Its not so. We live it because we are damaged good's. We are caught in a loop of self destruction because we have no one showing us the way out. Instead all the Christians do is condemn us. Its not my fault i was molested. Its not my fault i'm Gay. But others still hate me. Its not fair.......sigh
 
Willie-T

Willie-T

Banned
#53
Feb 7, 2015
22,418
413
0
#53
KenAllan said:
Thank you pottersclay for your kind words. Yes it is hard to expose oneself to many judgemental Christians. Too many people believe we want to live this lifestyle. Its not so. We live it because we are damaged good's. We are caught in a loop of self destruction because we have no one showing us the way out. Instead all the Christians do is condemn us. Its not my fault i was molested. Its not my fault i'm Gay. But others still hate me. Its not fair.......sigh
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But you have already said you honestly don't know if you were molested or not. You are going 100% on something you were told by someone else.
 
T

TemporaryCircumstances

Guest
#54
#54
KenAllan said:
"On the outside looking in."

So many posts, so much Truth, so many kind responses. But the Truth be had no one on here can really understand the Hell a Gay person goes through daily just for being Gay.

Yes sin is sin and there is not much difference in different sins. Its not so much the difference as it is being an outcast, on the outside looking in. Yes people try to understand, but never truly understand the Hell we go through.

Even Christian Churches who are suppose to Love all sinners, draw a line with Gay people. Never wanting them in their Church. They pretend they are with you in your struggles, but not really wanting you in their Church. Before you know it you are again on the outside looking in.

We spend our whole life on the outside always looking in, but never being accepted no matter what we do. No matter how much we repent of being Gay, No matter how much we try to change. No matter how much we try to fit in. The Truth be told many Christians and Churches rather have nothing to do with us.

Always on the outside looking in.....sigh
Click to expand...
"You must spread some rep around before giving it to KenAllan again"
 
Willie-T

Willie-T

Banned
#55
Feb 7, 2015
22,418
413
0
#55
You are 66 years old, and this last month is the first time in your life you have noticed that you have no memory of your childhood?
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#56
Mar 13, 2014
41,304
16,297
113
69
Tennessee
#56
KenAllan said:
Thank you pottersclay for your kind words. Yes it is hard to expose oneself to many judgemental Christians. Too many people believe we want to live this lifestyle. Its not so. We live it because we are damaged good's. We are caught in a loop of self destruction because we have no one showing us the way out. Instead all the Christians do is condemn us. Its not my fault i was molested. Its not my fault i'm Gay. But others still hate me. Its not fair.......sigh
Click to expand...
I'm not condemning you. We are all damaged in one way or another. That's why Jesus died on the cross for our sins.
 
Magenta

Magenta

Senior Member
#57
Jul 3, 2015
55,817
25,994
113
#57
Willie-T said:
You are 66 years old, and this last month is the first time in your life you have noticed that you have no memory of your childhood?
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KenAllan said:
For the last month i have been battling with trying to remember my childhood memories. All my memories before the age of 12 years old are totally gone. Thee are none to recall. For the last 40 + years i have been searching for these memories.

I finally found out why these memories are gone, lost forever. My sister finally told me why i have no memories.

When i was around 10 years old i was being molested by a neighbor. He had molested me over and over again for a year. I guess it finally destroyed me because one day i just completely withdrew from everything. They say i would not eat, or sleep or even respond to anything.

Nothing helped to bring me out of this state i was in. The doctors and my parents thought it would be best to do ECT therapy on me. What they did was to totally fry my brain with electricity to destroy these memories.

Now i'm damaged goods.

Because of being molested i am also Gay.

Again i'm damaged goods....sigh.
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. .
 
royalscot

royalscot

Banned
#58
Jan 27, 2013
4,769
18
0
#58
TemporaryCircumstances said:
"You must spread some rep around before giving it to KenAllan again"
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10 For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.Galatians 1: Greeting
 
M

MikeHenderson

Banned
#59
Feb 26, 2015
737
7
0
#59
No Willie-T. I started to notice i had memory losses when i was 20 years old. But back then no one in my family would ever talk about it. Every time i brought it up they would always change the subject.

Even when i was older in my 30's 40's 50's they still refused to answer my questions.

It was only by threatening to leave the family forever that my sister finally told me why i had the memory loss.

Its not something just popped up lately that made me question missing memories. It has been a 40 year battle with my family!

See this is why i was so afraid of asking for help here is because of people like Willie-T who would rather condemn then help. He has no compassion for those who suffer.....sigh
 
Magenta

Magenta

Senior Member
#60
Jul 3, 2015
55,817
25,994
113
#60
Are MikeHenderson and KenAllan the same person?
 
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