Kicked out of church

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Oct 19, 2016
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#1
I am so upset because I was kicked out of my church and my friend from church hates me now, unfriended me on Facebook and when I asked why and if I had done anything to offend her she said yes and to talk to the pastor about it because she wasnt going to talk about it anymore. When I said Im sorry and asked what she meant by anymore she told me to leave her alone and then later blocked me. I had to find out from the pastor in a letter kicking me out of church that it was because of me venting online and talking about her and other people excluding me and continuing to do so after being asked to stop. I wish she could have just said that instead of throwing me away and telling me to talk to the pastor. She didn't give me a chance to explain or apologize before just blocking me and telling me to leave her alone. This was after she had told me before that I would always be her friend and she would always love me no matter what. So that was a lie? Do you think she will ever forgive me or at least allow me to talk to her and apologize?
was just kicked out of my church and one of my friends from church blocked me. She blocked me on Facebook and wouldn't say why, first she unfriended me and when I asked if I had done anything to offend her she said yes, when I asked what it was she said to talk to my pastor about it because she wasn't going to talk about it anymore, and to leave her alone then blocked me. I found out later from my pastor that it was because I had vented about her and my church excluding and disliking me online, and continued to do so after she and the pastor asked me to stop, but I was only trying to get advice and needed someone to talk to, but I can see why that would upset her and I am very sorry and don’t know if she will ever forgive me. But we are Christians and she said she would always love me but now I'm not sure. On top of that, the pastor spoke to my parents about this like Im some sort of child. As if being ostracized by my church and friends wasnt enough. But more importantly I will never ever find another church or another group of friends like this one. And I screwed up and missed out on being a part of the best church in existence and being friends with the most amazing people out there. And I will never feel like this about anyone else or any other church ever because I will always miss them and won't get over not being at that church and having my friend reject me.They are the best church because they are always having parties and going out to eat and long road trips to megachurches, and because of the close family dynamic that their young adults group has.I really, really want to go back to my church I was kicked out of. I cant stop thinking about it all the time and want to know if theres anything I can do to be accepted back into that church. It was like a family to me and a home and now I just feel so empty and incomplete without being a part of that church.
Also,I created a fake profile to friend request my friend after she blocked me to see if she was talking about me, and she messaged me saying my real name, Stop Adding me! Like how did she know it was me?? And this happened months after her blocking me. And then she messaged me saying if who is this? If this is Ashley, I will get a restraining order on you if you dont leave me alone." A restraining order wth? And this is when she wouldnt even let me apologize or say why she blocked me.So do you think she would get a restraining order if I made a new profile of me to send a message apologizing and explaining that all I want is some closure? Because she just blocked me and told me to leave her alone without saying why.
 

p_rehbein

Senior Member
Sep 4, 2013
30,196
6,539
113
#2
Didn't you post this a couple of times before under different Screen Names?
 
C

CeileDe

Guest
#3
Get off Facebook
 

Fenner

Senior Member
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
0
#4
The best thing to do is back off. She and this church understand that you're sorry but if you keep try to push your way back in you're going to make it worse. Time heals, it will heal you and them. I believe this Pastor told your parents out of concern for you. I think you really need to talk to a professional about this, someone that can help you back on a positive path. I understand that would hurt, but it seems that you're not giving yourself a chance to heal.

You're not willing to give another group a chance. I'll be honest, I'm not a fan of mega churches. Not that their awful but small churches have a lot to offer as well. My church is now pretty small, I've formed some close relationships in that church, it didn't happen overnight, but through the turmoil my church has faced we have all pulled together and really leaned on God and each other to keep it going, I didn't see that happening a couple of year's ago. Give God a chance to find you a new place, pray and please no more fake Facebook profiles.
 
R

renewed_hope

Guest
#5
One question, why do you want to be part of a church where you clearly aren't welcome to attend. Second, the only person that you owe forgiveness to is God and as long as you go to him pure in heart he will forgive you
Move forward, get off social media because it can and does destroy so many relationships why give Facebook that right? Go out and get part of groups even if it's in a different town and make some new friends, but keep it away from all the hype of social media
 
Oct 16, 2016
80
6
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#6
I am so upset because I was kicked out of my church and my friend from church hates me now, unfriended me on Facebook and when I asked why and if I had done anything to offend her she said yes and to talk to the pastor about it because she wasnt going to talk about it anymore. When I said Im sorry and asked what she meant by anymore she told me to leave her alone and then later blocked me. I had to find out from the pastor in a letter kicking me out of church that it was because of me venting online and talking about her and other people excluding me and continuing to do so after being asked to stop. I wish she could have just said that instead of throwing me away and telling me to talk to the pastor. She didn't give me a chance to explain or apologize before just blocking me and telling me to leave her alone. This was after she had told me before that I would always be her friend and she would always love me no matter what. So that was a lie? Do you think she will ever forgive me or at least allow me to talk to her and apologize?
was just kicked out of my church and one of my friends from church blocked me. She blocked me on Facebook and wouldn't say why, first she unfriended me and when I asked if I had done anything to offend her she said yes, when I asked what it was she said to talk to my pastor about it because she wasn't going to talk about it anymore, and to leave her alone then blocked me. I found out later from my pastor that it was because I had vented about her and my church excluding and disliking me online, and continued to do so after she and the pastor asked me to stop, but I was only trying to get advice and needed someone to talk to, but I can see why that would upset her and I am very sorry and don’t know if she will ever forgive me. But we are Christians and she said she would always love me but now I'm not sure. On top of that, the pastor spoke to my parents about this like Im some sort of child. As if being ostracized by my church and friends wasnt enough. But more importantly I will never ever find another church or another group of friends like this one. And I screwed up and missed out on being a part of the best church in existence and being friends with the most amazing people out there. And I will never feel like this about anyone else or any other church ever because I will always miss them and won't get over not being at that church and having my friend reject me.They are the best church because they are always having parties and going out to eat and long road trips to megachurches, and because of the close family dynamic that their young adults group has.I really, really want to go back to my church I was kicked out of. I cant stop thinking about it all the time and want to know if theres anything I can do to be accepted back into that church. It was like a family to me and a home and now I just feel so empty and incomplete without being a part of that church.
Also,I created a fake profile to friend request my friend after she blocked me to see if she was talking about me, and she messaged me saying my real name, Stop Adding me! Like how did she know it was me?? And this happened months after her blocking me. And then she messaged me saying if who is this? If this is Ashley, I will get a restraining order on you if you dont leave me alone." A restraining order wth? And this is when she wouldnt even let me apologize or say why she blocked me.So do you think she would get a restraining order if I made a new profile of me to send a message apologizing and explaining that all I want is some closure? Because she just blocked me and told me to leave her alone without saying why.
I'm very sorry you're going through this, and I know all too well how much this sort of thing can hurt. Although I'm sure, as often is, there are two sides to every story, at least, lol, but to be ostracized, ignored, rejected, kicked aside, etc., can be very debilitating, especially after attempting to find forgiveness, reconciliation, understanding, and the genuine love we all need, ..... perhaps nothing hurts worse, emotionally, and when it happens from those we love, and Especially christians, (or those who claim to be) it can be particularly heart-wrenching and painful, and about as opposite of what christian charity, love, compassion, as can be.
And I've regretfully been on both sides of the equation, and can only thank the Lord for His loving grace, mercy, and long-suffering towards me, as well as those I've hurt, most usually unintentionally, but still, being forgiving and accepting as well.
But...Hurt people hurt people, as they say, and some just have no desire to do as Christ would have us in these situations, and would rather hold onto bitterness or resentment, or store up past misunderstandings, ready to bring them up at the slighest opportunity, or use the indifference toward you as a means of trying to hold a superior position over you.
It's nearly impossible to continue forward when you feel like an anvil may drop on you at the first hint that you may make a mistake. This is a form of 'spiritual abuse' that not only some individuals, but even whole churches or movements employ at times.
I believe this grieves the Lord very much, if I may say that, and I think when we read that 'God hates divorce' it applies much more deeply than just marriage, in fact, there are times when divorce (husband/wife) is even necessary, often sadly, but it's sometimes the best or only option.
But unforgiveness, or the tossing aside and ignoring of another, Especially in the body of Christ, just shouldn't be, particularly since Jesus not only prayed for our unity or togetherness and brotherly love, He also shed His own blood to atone for our sins and make that togetherness possible.
Now is the time to draw near to the Lord, ask Him to keep any root of bitterness from springing up in you, ask Him to give you a heart of understanding and forgiveness, remember that HE loves you with an everlasting love, and HE will NEVER leave you or forsake you.
Let Him be your Rock of Ages that you can hide in, ... a shelter under His wing, if you will, but also to be that Solid Rock that you can stand on, knowing that those who are mistreating you , His daughter, will need to get right with Him, Our Father, and if this is how they go about 'being church' they are well off the mark. Pray for them to have the eyes of their heart opened, ... remember, it's not our Father's will that any should perish, but that all should come to repentence, ..... and faith in our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
Jesus loves you.... And He loves them, too. Sometimes that's hard to accept in the midst or aftermath of mistreatment, real or perceived, but it will free you to develop a closer relationship with God, and allow Him to lift you higher and give you greater insight into His love and His will for you. Perhaps it's time to get into His Word more intimately, see the goodnees of the Lord and the riches of His kindness and mercy, ... let the joy of the Lord be your strength, and make sure you don't let admiration of others turn to idolatry, as it says in the end of 1stJohn.
You are not alone, and the Lord will lead you to greater things. Trust Him with all your heart, He won't let you down.

Father in heaven, please bless this one, and help her to know her name is not 'rejected' but that she is accepted in the beloved because of our Lord Jesus Christ and His great love and sacrifice for her, we ask this in Jesus' wonderful name and grace. Amen.
 

Tommy379

Notorious Member
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
1,151
113
#7
I think there is something in the bible about gossip and talking.
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#8
Didn't you post this a couple of times before under different Screen Names?
I was thinking the same thing. This post reeks of PoehlerFan and her numerous, similar posts.
 
Oct 16, 2016
80
6
0
#10
Didn't you post this a couple of times before under different Screen Names?
I think there is something in the bible about gossip and talking.
I was thinking the same thing. This post reeks of PoehlerFan and her numerous, similar posts.
Well, my post #6 was written from the heart, and believe me, I type very slowly with one finger, and don't have any formal education or training in grammar or how to write properly, so a post that takes two minutes to read can take me two hours to write. or more.

But if I was duped by the OP, I guess I need more discernment in my life, and I do pray along those lines, I pray to have more wisdom from God, but I'll leave the post up in hopes that someone may read it and be helped by it.

I'm probably not the best advice-giver, but it came from the heart with good intentions, and I guess I should have stated that it was just my opinion, but I do hope it helps someone somehow.

Ex-communication should be a very last resort, Especially within the body of Christ, In my opinion. GBU, brothers.
 
C

chancer

Guest
#11
One question, why do you want to be part of a church where you clearly aren't welcome to attend. Second, the only person that you owe forgiveness to is God and as long as you go to him pure in heart he will forgive you
Move forward, get off social media because it can and does destroy so many relationships why give Facebook that right? Go out and get part of groups even if it's in a different town and make some new friends, but keep it away from all the hype of social media
amen...good advice:D
 
Oct 16, 2016
80
6
0
#12
I'm not reading that much without paragraphs.

What's her gripe?
Sorry, brother, I should have fixed that up before I submitted it, but the debate of the century was about to start, and I lost focus, :p . I'll try to do better next time. :)
(btw, half hour in, and he's giving it true, and proving her a liar over and over, but is America listening to him?)
 
A

Ariel82

Guest
#13
I think there is something in the bible about gossip and talking.
The whole OP is an example of gossiping and nothing is mentioned about Bible study, worship, Jesus or helping other people.....just party and entertainment and social networking...

It's really sad.

*****

To the OP:

1. Stop posting online things about people. It is gossip.

2. Stop stalking the poor girl. You are scary and obsessive.

3. Go see a professional counselor to work on your social skills and obssesive tendencies.

4. Pray for God to help you and take time to read the Bible and listen to Him....instead of chasing after this idol you created and named "friendship and perfect church"...


God loves you. Do you believe it?
 

santuzza

Senior Member
Feb 12, 2013
1,609
38
48
#14
Hmmm.... this is very familiar...

I guess the REAL question is why is she stalking CC?
 
H

HisHolly

Guest
#16
I remember something similar as well..
 
P

pottersclay

Guest
#17
seems more worried about loss of friendship than fellowship
 

Bookends

Senior Member
Aug 28, 2012
4,225
99
48
#18
One question, why do you want to be part of a church where you clearly aren't welcome to attend. Second, the only person that you owe forgiveness to is God and as long as you go to him pure in heart he will forgive you
Move forward, get off social media because it can and does destroy so many relationships why give Facebook that right? Go out and get part of groups even if it's in a different town and make some new friends, but keep it away from all the hype of social media
What??? we are not to go to people who we offend and ask for forgiveness? Even if we were in the wrong?
 
A

Ariel82

Guest
#19
Boy, do I feel really dumb ! :mad::p:confused:
Don't feel dumb, you write with an open loving heart.

The "I am persecuted victim" mentality needs to be addressed....we aren't victims. We are survivors.

I know horrorifying stories, but the people found strength in God and overcame. My mother has 2 bullet wounds and 3 healed knife scars from her time under Khmer Rouge rule. She taught me that survivors live longer and happier than victims.

With God's help we can overcome anything.

You told her that God loves her and prayed for her....

Don't feel ashamed or dumb for having a loving and compassionate heart.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
T

Tintin

Guest
#20
I am so upset because I was kicked out of my church and my friend from church hates me now, unfriended me on Facebook and when I asked why and if I had done anything to offend her she said yes and to talk to the pastor about it because she wasnt going to talk about it anymore. When I said Im sorry and asked what she meant by anymore she told me to leave her alone and then later blocked me. I had to find out from the pastor in a letter kicking me out of church that it was because of me venting online and talking about her and other people excluding me and continuing to do so after being asked to stop. I wish she could have just said that instead of throwing me away and telling me to talk to the pastor. She didn't give me a chance to explain or apologize before just blocking me and telling me to leave her alone. This was after she had told me before that I would always be her friend and she would always love me no matter what. So that was a lie? Do you think she will ever forgive me or at least allow me to talk to her and apologize?
was just kicked out of my church and one of my friends from church blocked me. She blocked me on Facebook and wouldn't say why, first she unfriended me and when I asked if I had done anything to offend her she said yes, when I asked what it was she said to talk to my pastor about it because she wasn't going to talk about it anymore, and to leave her alone then blocked me. I found out later from my pastor that it was because I had vented about her and my church excluding and disliking me online, and continued to do so after she and the pastor asked me to stop, but I was only trying to get advice and needed someone to talk to, but I can see why that would upset her and I am very sorry and don’t know if she will ever forgive me. But we are Christians and she said she would always love me but now I'm not sure. On top of that, the pastor spoke to my parents about this like Im some sort of child. As if being ostracized by my church and friends wasnt enough. But more importantly I will never ever find another church or another group of friends like this one. And I screwed up and missed out on being a part of the best church in existence and being friends with the most amazing people out there. And I will never feel like this about anyone else or any other church ever because I will always miss them and won't get over not being at that church and having my friend reject me.They are the best church because they are always having parties and going out to eat and long road trips to megachurches, and because of the close family dynamic that their young adults group has.I really, really want to go back to my church I was kicked out of. I cant stop thinking about it all the time and want to know if theres anything I can do to be accepted back into that church. It was like a family to me and a home and now I just feel so empty and incomplete without being a part of that church.
Also,I created a fake profile to friend request my friend after she blocked me to see if she was talking about me, and she messaged me saying my real name, Stop Adding me! Like how did she know it was me?? And this happened months after her blocking me. And then she messaged me saying if who is this? If this is Ashley, I will get a restraining order on you if you dont leave me alone." A restraining order wth? And this is when she wouldnt even let me apologize or say why she blocked me.So do you think she would get a restraining order if I made a new profile of me to send a message apologizing and explaining that all I want is some closure? Because she just blocked me and told me to leave her alone without saying why.
Oh hey, Poehlerfan.
You do realise we're onto you and your stupid games.
 
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