Help from a "Contentious spirit!"

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Feb 28, 2016
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#21
if I want to contend with someone, then I seek to know how important it is to Jesus first -
another words, I don't want to be contentious for my 'own opinion', that would be pride...
I want to always be in unity with my Father and do as He tells me, for if I contend with
others out of my own 'pride', then I can't hear the good and gracious gifts that come
from up-above...and our speech is of the utmost importance to our validity as a
Christian or one that is seeking to grow and mature in their walk for their Saviour...
 
Dec 12, 2013
46,515
20,395
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#22
I've got a problem I'd like help with. I have a contentious spirit. Not in that some evil spirit is on me. In that that's my personality.

Pink Diamond described it (even though she wasn't trying to describe me) in this thread (page 4, if this bumps it back to page 1 -- http://christianchat.com/bible-discussion-forum/146350-fake-4.html

Helpful hints on how to stop it without turning into milktoast?
The Son's of Thunder wanted to burn a town to the ground...............God made us all unique for sure!
 

stonesoffire

Poetic Member
Nov 24, 2013
10,665
1,829
113
#23
Frustrating. Ain't it?

(Hey, it is possible to curl hair away from a bathroom. lol)
very! Yeah sure, but the cord wasn't made long enough. It's made for those bathroom outlets...and yes, I know I'm now whining. Lol

"sigh" am glad this day is about over.
 

Pilkington

Senior Member
Jan 13, 2015
640
99
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#25
There are two kinds of arguments:
1. Disagreements where folks can at least hear out another POV, even if it doesn't sway them.
2. Being disagreeable just to be disagreeable and putting down the other for daring to disagree.

I love the first kind and find no sin in that.

I keep falling for the second kind, especially if the other person is in it just for that. And it really doesn't matter if the other person has fault too. This is my fault/problem.

I see others who come on here and can not do that. The best way I know not to do that is to ignore someone like me.

Seems kind of stupid to ignore someone like me, doesn't it? Kind of calls for everyone to ignore me because I've got the same attitude. I don't like that about me. Not very godly.

I'd like to know how you don't do that? (And you, and a few others, really do seem like the type who don't do that. So I know it's possible.)
I think we all get caught out from time to time and drawn into fruitless arguements I know I do. On here over time my attitudes have been challenged. It saddens me how savagely Christians sometimes on this site attack each other. I think in part it is coming to the realisation that most of the disagreements are over secondary issues, issues which should not really divide us. Some of the discussions I don't get involved with as I know how they will turn out. I also don't always ask questions I would love to have answers to or here what others believe, think as again I know it will turn into something messy. I am learning to respect people I don't agree with and find I learn things from them.
 

OneFaith

Senior Member
Sep 5, 2016
2,270
369
83
#27
I've got a problem I'd like help with. I have a contentious spirit. Not in that some evil spirit is on me. In that that's my personality.

Pink Diamond described it (even though she wasn't trying to describe me) in this thread (page 4, if this bumps it back to page 1 -- http://christianchat.com/bible-discussion-forum/146350-fake-4.html

Helpful hints on how to stop it without turning into milktoast?
God calls us to be a quiet and gentle spirit, not quarlsome or gossipy. If you don't have a heart like that, you can pray for one. God can change your heart if you let Him. The statistics of those of who don't start out with a heart like Christ's is 100%. We all fall short, but that's ok, because that is the whole purpose of Christianity- to grow in Christ and become more like Him every day. We are ALL in that catagory, in one way or another, it's not just you.
 

lastofall

Senior Member
Aug 26, 2014
609
38
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#28
"Do all things without murmurings [complaining] and disputings [arguing]: That ye may be blameless and harmless, the sons of God, without rebuke, in the midst of a crooked and perverse nation, among whom ye shine as lights in the world." (Philippians 2:14-15)

"Beloved, when I gave all diligence to write unto you of the common salvation, it was needful for me to write unto you, and exhort you that ye should earnestly contend for the faith which was once delivered unto the saints." (Jude 3)

Our contending should be for submitting to and relying upon the Word of God, which is where faith only comes from (Romans 10:17).
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#29
if I want to contend with someone, then I seek to know how important it is to Jesus first -
another words, I don't want to be contentious for my 'own opinion', that would be pride...
I want to always be in unity with my Father and do as He tells me, for if I contend with
others out of my own 'pride', then I can't hear the good and gracious gifts that come
from up-above...and our speech is of the utmost importance to our validity as a
Christian or one that is seeking to grow and mature in their walk for their Saviour...
How long did it take you to become that? That's how I think of it too, but it's not something I do well. It feels like a steep learning curve -- something like learning how to do a tax program or Photoshop on a computer. The tax program I needed to get, so I banged my head on it for months before getting there. Photoshop was a want, not a need, so after a year I gave up.

Maybe if I know how long I have to bang my head, (because this is a need, not merely a want), I'd at least get how much longer will I have to be frustrated.
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#30
The Son's of Thunder wanted to burn a town to the ground...............God made us all unique for sure!
Since there is only one John, at least I know how his story turned out. (He got to live the longest, but he seemed to have gotten past the thunderous stage quickly.) Two James. One wrote a letter that made the book, so something tells me he learned a bit of what it was like after the thunder stopped booming -- enough to teach from the experience. Orrr, that wasn't that James.

I am thunderous, but thunder comes with lightning, and I'd rather not keep leaving a trail of ash.
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#31
well, in my case most definitely impatience.
God is frustrating sometimes. I asked for patience when I was a new believer, and he said okay. Little did I know that patience is brought about by continuously frustrating my plans. AND God does NOT change his mind once he says "Okay." (Especially when we ask for stuff he says we needed already.)
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#32
I think we all get caught out from time to time and drawn into fruitless arguements I know I do. On here over time my attitudes have been challenged. It saddens me how savagely Christians sometimes on this site attack each other. I think in part it is coming to the realisation that most of the disagreements are over secondary issues, issues which should not really divide us. Some of the discussions I don't get involved with as I know how they will turn out. I also don't always ask questions I would love to have answers to or here what others believe, think as again I know it will turn into something messy. I am learning to respect people I don't agree with and find I learn things from them.
This is a real question, (vs. this is being contentious.) Is respect required? I keep thinking it's earned, and some simply haven't earned it.

(If you are left wondering... yeah, you earned it.
:))
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#33
God calls us to be a quiet and gentle spirit, not quarlsome or gossipy. If you don't have a heart like that, you can pray for one. God can change your heart if you let Him. The statistics of those of who don't start out with a heart like Christ's is 100%. We all fall short, but that's ok, because that is the whole purpose of Christianity- to grow in Christ and become more like Him every day. We are ALL in that catagory, in one way or another, it's not just you.
Gentle, I agree with. I cannot picture Peter or Paul as quiet though. I would have loved to be watching that argument over eating pig and circumcision. One of those rare moments in history when two bullheaded guys had to come up with a consensus. (Actually, Peter just had to agree with Paul, even if they had to fight that one out for months.)
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#34
"Do all things without murmurings [complaining] and disputings [arguing]: That ye may be blameless and harmless, the sons of God, without rebuke, in the midst of a crooked and perverse nation, among whom ye shine as lights in the world." (Philippians 2:14-15)

"Beloved, when I gave all diligence to write unto you of the common salvation, it was needful for me to write unto you, and exhort you that ye should earnestly contend for the faith which was once delivered unto the saints." (Jude 3)

Our contending should be for submitting to and relying upon the Word of God, which is where faith only comes from (Romans 10:17).
I know why. It's the how that got me frustrated. lol
 

Pilkington

Senior Member
Jan 13, 2015
640
99
28
#35
This is a real question, (vs. this is being contentious.) Is respect required? I keep thinking it's earned, and some simply haven't earned it.

(If you are left wondering... yeah, you earned it.
:))

Hmmm Is respect requied? Now that has got me thinking, probably not. Yes it is easier to respect someone when they earn it. I think in certain situations we need to respect people because of the title or roll they have for example I respect my pastor, that is in part due to the roll he has not just because of what he is like as a person. For me I think respecting others is linked to them being made in the image of God, however marred that image is it is still there. This even applies to those who aren't Christians. Respecting them or their opinions means that I try to read and understand their view point even if I don't agree with it or like it come to that I may not even like the poster for that matter. On occassions I do feel the need to challenge their opinion. However it is possible to win the arguement and not have changed a persons opinion. I try and look at why I am entering an arguement am I trying to express my opinion, win an arguement, challenge a viewpoint, correct an error, am I doing it out of love or some other motivation.
 
P

popeye

Guest
#36
Disagreement.

We all do it.

But focus on the CONCEPT,while still loving the other person.
 

Pilkington

Senior Member
Jan 13, 2015
640
99
28
#37
This is a real question, (vs. this is being contentious.) Is respect required? I keep thinking it's earned, and some simply haven't earned it.

(If you are left wondering... yeah, you earned it.
:))

Hmmm Is respect requied? Now that has got me thinking, probably not. Yes it is easier to respect someone when they earn it. I think in certain situations we need to respect people because of the title or roll they have for example I respect my pastor, that is in part due to the roll he has not just because of what he is like as a person. For me I think respecting others is linked to them being made in the image of God, however marred that image is it is still there. This even applies to those who aren't Christians. Respecting them or their opinions means that I try to read and understand their view point even if I don't agree with it or like it come to that I may not even like the poster for that matter. On occassions I do feel the need to challenge their opinion. However it is possible to win the arguement and not have changed a persons opinion. I try and look at why I am entering an arguement am I trying to express my opinion, win an arguement, challenge a viewpoint, correct an error, am I doing it out of love or some other motivation.
 

notuptome

Senior Member
May 17, 2013
15,050
2,538
113
#38
Because contentious isn't contend?

But honestly, I am having trouble contending without becoming contentious.
Contend for the Lord and not against the Lord. Trust the Lord that when you contend for Him He will accomplish what is good. Contend against the Lord and for yourself or your self interests and you will experience frustration and anger as well as defeat.

Scripture commands we witness for the Lord. Scripture never holds us accountable if our witness is rejected. It is the responsibility of the hearer to be accountable to the Lord for what they have heard. We can be heart broken over those who reject but we cannot make them believe.

For the cause of Christ
Roger
 
Dec 9, 2011
13,703
1,715
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#39
There are two kinds of arguments:
1. Disagreements where folks can at least hear out another POV, even if it doesn't sway them.
2. Being disagreeable just to be disagreeable and putting down the other for daring to disagree.

I love the first kind and find no sin in that.

I keep falling for the second kind, especially if the other person is in it just for that. And it really doesn't matter if the other person has fault too. This is my fault/problem.

I see others who come on here and can not do that. The best way I know not to do that is to ignore someone like me.

Seems kind of stupid to ignore someone like me, doesn't it? Kind of calls for everyone to ignore me because I've got the same attitude. I don't like that about me. Not very godly.

I'd like to know how you don't do that? (And you, and a few others, really do seem like the type who don't do that. So I know it's possible.)
Very Insightful post,It would be edifying to the body If we all could be Insightful as your post above,shows.

It takes a humble spirit to post perceived truth about oneself and truth Is liberating.
Thanks :)
 
Dec 9, 2011
13,703
1,715
113
#40
I think we all get caught out from time to time and drawn into fruitless arguements I know I do. On here over time my attitudes have been challenged. It saddens me how savagely Christians sometimes on this site attack each other. I think in part it is coming to the realisation that most of the disagreements are over secondary issues, issues which should not really divide us. Some of the discussions I don't get involved with as I know how they will turn out. I also don't always ask questions I would love to have answers to or here what others believe, think as again I know it will turn into something messy. I am learning to respect people I don't agree with and find I learn things from them.
:)Amen .........