Help from a "Contentious spirit!"

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Nov 19, 2016
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#41
I've got a problem I'd like help with. I have a contentious spirit. Not in that some evil spirit is on me. In that that's my personality.

Pink Diamond described it (even though she wasn't trying to describe me) in this thread (page 4, if this bumps it back to page 1 -- http://christianchat.com/bible-discussion-forum/146350-fake-4.html

Helpful hints on how to stop it without turning into milktoast?
However we were before coming to the truth it could haunt us in our walk with God,which some people were that way before accepting Christ,and might struggle with it.

1.It could be people like to stir up controversy.
2.It could be people are arrogant.
3.It could be people are tired of people not obeying truth,and lash out kind of harshly.

The only thing we can do is give it to God,or only quote scriptures and kind words,which does not make sense for we have a choice on how we act so really it is up to us.

If someone is like that then they enjoy it,or they are fed up with people and want to lash,but most likely they were like that before they came to the truth,and they struggle with it,but still we have a choice not to act that way,although we might all act like that but some people keep it more on the mellow side,where some people almost go at it with a fury.

For the most part I believe a lot of people enjoy it stemming from arrogance,because they like to win,and for the least part some people are fed up with people and become angry about it,which is still from the flesh.

Basketball season starts,and everybody is excited that this could be the year that their team could take the championship,and be number one,the winners,and out of all the teams that played,they beat them all and came out on top,and they delight in it.

It seems like some people have that attitude that claim Christ,that of all the denominations that go against each other in their interpretations,and beliefs,they have the right interpretation,the truth,and they are the champions,and number one,the winners,and they delight in it.

There is too much flesh among people that claim Christian,and are people arguing for the sake of arguing,because we're number one,or I am number one,that it blinds them to actually see the truth,for they stick with their interpretation,and fight for it tooth and nail,all the while some go right against scriptures,but they still defend their position,as if their arrogance will not let them see it,or they want to believe it that way,that they will ignore everything presented to them that goes against what they believe.

While some people will give heed and not be so stubborn it appears as if the majority will stick to their interpretation,and not give heed to anything that passes their way,as we can see with all the different denominations,and interpretations,concerning Christianity,which there is no conflicts in the Bible,and only one truth,but with all those different denominations,and interpretations,and all those people who claim Christ have that many varying opinions it would seem like it would not be so wide of beliefs,which goes to show that there is a lot of arrogance,which is the same as the world,they align themselves to a certain group and belief,and then fight tooth and nail for it,and it seems that is what a lot of people that claim Christianity do.

We're the winners,we're number one,rings loudly in the world,and can effect people that claim Christ too.
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#42
However we were before coming to the truth it could haunt us in our walk with God,which some people were that way before accepting Christ,and might struggle with it.

1.It could be people like to stir up controversy.
2.It could be people are arrogant.
3.It could be people are tired of people not obeying truth,and lash out kind of harshly.

The only thing we can do is give it to God,or only quote scriptures and kind words,which does not make sense for we have a choice on how we act so really it is up to us.

If someone is like that then they enjoy it,or they are fed up with people and want to lash,but most likely they were like that before they came to the truth,and they struggle with it,but still we have a choice not to act that way,although we might all act like that but some people keep it more on the mellow side,where some people almost go at it with a fury.

For the most part I believe a lot of people enjoy it stemming from arrogance,because they like to win,and for the least part some people are fed up with people and become angry about it,which is still from the flesh.

Basketball season starts,and everybody is excited that this could be the year that their team could take the championship,and be number one,the winners,and out of all the teams that played,they beat them all and came out on top,and they delight in it.

It seems like some people have that attitude that claim Christ,that of all the denominations that go against each other in their interpretations,and beliefs,they have the right interpretation,the truth,and they are the champions,and number one,the winners,and they delight in it.

There is too much flesh among people that claim Christian,and are people arguing for the sake of arguing,because we're number one,or I am number one,that it blinds them to actually see the truth,for they stick with their interpretation,and fight for it tooth and nail,all the while some go right against scriptures,but they still defend their position,as if their arrogance will not let them see it,or they want to believe it that way,that they will ignore everything presented to them that goes against what they believe.

While some people will give heed and not be so stubborn it appears as if the majority will stick to their interpretation,and not give heed to anything that passes their way,as we can see with all the different denominations,and interpretations,concerning Christianity,which there is no conflicts in the Bible,and only one truth,but with all those different denominations,and interpretations,and all those people who claim Christ have that many varying opinions it would seem like it would not be so wide of beliefs,which goes to show that there is a lot of arrogance,which is the same as the world,they align themselves to a certain group and belief,and then fight tooth and nail for it,and it seems that is what a lot of people that claim Christianity do.

We're the winners,we're number one,rings loudly in the world,and can effect people that claim Christ too.
Basketball is easy to deal with. i live in Philly, so the Sixers are our team. I haven't had to worry about them being good enough to win the championship games since 1983. lol

I know I'm competitive, but it is games related. I just want to get better than me. I have the ability to not even notice how everyone else is doing when it comes to games. (My best bowling game was 142 points. I have no idea who I was playing against past getting better than my previous record. My SIL and I used to pair off in pinochle against our husbands. I thought it was always even for wins, until she counted up all the games when we went on vacation together. We only won a third of the games, but I can't remember losing once. It's a gift. lol)

I don't think it's competition when it gets to contentious though. I don't care who wins or loses. More of a "don't act like you know everything and I'm a moron" kind of feeling to it. Possibly because of how I fit into the family growing up. BUT finding the cause doesn't help me figure out how to get over it.

It's something like an addiction. Letting go is one step. Replacing it the other side. Without something to replace it with what is left is a hole.
 
Feb 28, 2016
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#43
This is a real question, (vs. this is being contentious.) Is respect required? I keep thinking it's earned, and some simply haven't earned it.

(If you are left wondering... yeah, you earned it.
:))
========================================================
we're replying in 'respect' to our brothers and sisters of this planet we all share...

after conversion, Jesus planted something precious inside of us and we became aware of the
feelings of individuals born all over this world, that they have a destiny just like us and that we all share
so much, in fact we share more of the same things than what we like to admit and we felt
a great kinship and Spiritual Love for all...
this also brought along many wonderful gifts with the knowledge of a un-imaginable future, gifts such
as 'tolerance-forgiveness-unselfishness-tender-heartedness where there was lack before, and
especially the great Thankfulness and desire to always be in obedience to The One Who hung on a tree
for us, etc...

for those who are knowingly serving satan and reject Jesus Christ and our Father,.
The Great I AM, we gave no love, only pity...

it really is a 'Love-In' - Jesus calls us to be a part of His Holy Family, and we, hopefully,
make ourselves ready...
REV. 19:7.
Let us be glad and rejoice, and give honour to Him: for the marriage of The Lamb is come,
and His wife hath made herself ready.
 
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Ariel82

Guest
#44
I've got a problem I'd like help with. I have a contentious spirit. Not in that some evil spirit is on me. In that that's my personality.

Pink Diamond described it (even though she wasn't trying to describe me) in this thread (page 4, if this bumps it back to page 1 -- http://christianchat.com/bible-discussion-forum/146350-fake-4.html

Helpful hints on how to stop it without turning into milktoast?
Stop and pray.

Ask yourself: why are you arguing/contending?

Does God need you to defend you or defend him?
 
A

Ariel82

Guest
#45
I don't know if it's true for you or not but I used to like debating and winning. It made me feel smarter and somehow worthy.

I only stopped being contentious when I realized it was insecurity that made me argue, when I realized that God didn't care how "smart" or "dumb" I was. He loved me. When I accepted that as enough. It helped me not contend so much....but I still fall into it at times.
 

Stunnedbygrace

Senior Member
Nov 12, 2015
9,112
822
113
#46
There are two kinds of arguments:
1. Disagreements where folks can at least hear out another POV, even if it doesn't sway them.
2. Being disagreeable just to be disagreeable and putting down the other for daring to disagree.

I love the first kind and find no sin in that.

I keep falling for the second kind, especially if the other person is in it just for that. And it really doesn't matter if the other person has fault too. This is my fault/problem.

I see others who come on here and can not do that. The best way I know not to do that is to ignore someone like me.

Seems kind of stupid to ignore someone like me, doesn't it? Kind of calls for everyone to ignore me because I've got the same attitude. I don't like that about me. Not very godly.

I'd like to know how you don't do that? (And you, and a few others, really do seem like the type who don't do that. So I know it's possible.)
I can tell you how I came to start seeing some real victories over my tongue, because if you had known me a while back you would have sworn your mom had another child and gave her away for adoption.

I struggled with it for a long time and trying to stop it's eruptions. And every time I eventually failed, I got depressed. And each time, the depression lasted longer until I could pull out of it and set my resolve to try again harder to stop it. But it was a never-ending cycle of resolve - failure - depression - (rinse and repeat.)

And then one day I just gave up and told God it was useless and that I couldn't be good and that if I ever was to be good, He would have to something or I would just be this way until I died, and in fact wanted Him to just take me so I didn't have to live in defeat.

And very quickly after that I began to see victories. He did something in my mind...I can't explain it, but it happened very quickly after I gave up trying to be good and told Him I wasn't good and never would be unless He did something to make me good.
 
A

Ariel82

Guest
#47
This is a real question, (vs. this is being contentious.) Is respect required? I keep thinking it's earned, and some simply haven't earned it.

(If you are left wondering... yeah, you earned it.
:))
I give respect freely because of the free grace given to me. Forgiveness should be free...trust...that people need to ern to an extent especially when it comes to my kids.

I want them to respect and forgive people but not trust everyone they meet.

The balance of being humble and knowing that you are God's beloved child. Some people beat themselves up too much and some think themselves equal to God.
 

OneFaith

Senior Member
Sep 5, 2016
2,270
369
83
#49
Gentle, I agree with. I cannot picture Peter or Paul as quiet though. I would have loved to be watching that argument over eating pig and circumcision. One of those rare moments in history when two bullheaded guys had to come up with a consensus. (Actually, Peter just had to agree with Paul, even if they had to fight that one out for months.)
I get what you're saying. I pictured them on the quiet side until times they had to not be quiet- like me. I'm a pretty quiet person, but if you get me talking about God, then I can talk for quite a while.
 

NayborBear

Banned Serpent Seed Heresy
#50
Tis been my experience, that God, in His wisdom, has certain things (kinda likes a time capsule), he has given TO you FOR "you", and not ANYONE else. Sharing this, or trying to teach anyone else, gives rise to a contentiousness! Should you catch yourself doing this, you should cease n desist, as soon as you can! God HAS myriads of ways to "correct" those Called by His Name! USUALLY (again, tiz been my expierience), it is a "warring" of the Spirit against the flesh (in your case...YOUR flesh...lol), inasmuch, as we've ALL been "beguiled", by the evil one, to varying degrees......Yeah?...Tiz a "worldly" thing, yanno? Methinks, this is more prevalent, then many might wanna admit to....I hope this helps ya....
 
Jan 25, 2015
9,213
3,188
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#51
Hi Lynn
I will tell you something from my own life and maybe it could be same with you. I am sometimes quick to anger (just like my dad and his dad) and I have to work really hard on myself to get rid of this in my life.

A couple of months ago our pastor had a series about your body and sickness in your life. The one thing he mentioned was family curses. The moment we as Christians hear this we sit up and say but we are under the blood of the Lamb so surely this is not relevant to us. I was like that and God showed me something that I never considered before:


  1. Abraham, Isaac and Jacob all were liars and deceived people around them, even after they were in a relationship with YHWH Elohim
  2. David and Solomon both struggled with women

There are many more examples like this in the Bible.

It is so obvious we actually miss it sometimes. I had to repent my sins before God and also ask God to break the chain with me. Now I can see some of my shortcomings in my son but I trust God that I can break the cycle. The Bible tells us that the sins of the fathers will go down from generation to generation but it is our responsibility to hold God to His other promise that if we love Him, and ask Him, He will break that cycle starting with us.
 

KALYNA18

Senior Member
Oct 25, 2016
1,672
359
83
#52

Were all made different, and I know one time I took it different, but read your posts and ALL those grand children God has blessed you and us. Please remain the same. Your a good friend to all. Maybe it's the other person who has or had the problem. You stand your ground, and what would it be without you ***** 5 stars for you.
:)