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I ended up with the conclusion that that depends on the people .. people are different. Some are more sensitive than others etc. So far when I checked the bible for this it was always about no sex, no lusting or ''dont activate the love before hand'' kinda talk. Id say pray and see where God leads you
Sex is sex. Penetration of an orifice. It comes in different forms and Bill Clinton (yes oral sex was in the Bible times too when G-d said no premarital sex). Then there is dry sex, grinding with cloths on. The bottom line like the Scripture says it is better to marry than to burn with lust. If the Holy Spirit is convicting, you for your behavior then eater stop or get married. People do not need to give their earthly definition of boundaries. The Bible does not spell out if kissing is sin (we know you do not give a holy kiss…lol) or if cuddling is a sin. What is G-d telling you about your behavior. It is something, hence the post. It’s between you and Him.
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U
Let's rephrase your question to be more accurate. "How close to sin can i get without actually sinning?". That's usually the root of the question. And while it's true that it may depend on the individual couple, the problem with that is you have no way of knowing without taking yourself there.
Second base, though, would still be a clear line crossing. It is simply foreplay. Which is what people do before intercourse. Not to mention it is an obvious temptation, which we are told to flee from.
When dealing with temptation you are better erring on the side of caution. If you miss out on a few things, that maybe would've been ok for you, you're not going to regret that in 20, 30, 40 years. On the other hand, if you go too far that can be a guilt that, literally, lasts a lifetime. Trust me, i know.
The trick here is also remembering that what one may handle, doesn't mean the other can handle it. If, for you, cuddling is fine and provides no temptation, that may still be a temptation to him. So the stronger has to stop themselves at the others boundary and respect it, not push their partner to go farther than they can handle.
But, basically, if holding hands provides too much temptation, then don't do it. And don't try to go as far as you can. Because (and again, trust me on this) once you try to dance on the edge of sin you Will cross over. You Will fall. As Christians our lives are meant to be lived holy and blameless, not seeing much we can get away with and hoping we don't screw up.
Second base, though, would still be a clear line crossing. It is simply foreplay. Which is what people do before intercourse. Not to mention it is an obvious temptation, which we are told to flee from.
When dealing with temptation you are better erring on the side of caution. If you miss out on a few things, that maybe would've been ok for you, you're not going to regret that in 20, 30, 40 years. On the other hand, if you go too far that can be a guilt that, literally, lasts a lifetime. Trust me, i know.
The trick here is also remembering that what one may handle, doesn't mean the other can handle it. If, for you, cuddling is fine and provides no temptation, that may still be a temptation to him. So the stronger has to stop themselves at the others boundary and respect it, not push their partner to go farther than they can handle.
But, basically, if holding hands provides too much temptation, then don't do it. And don't try to go as far as you can. Because (and again, trust me on this) once you try to dance on the edge of sin you Will cross over. You Will fall. As Christians our lives are meant to be lived holy and blameless, not seeing much we can get away with and hoping we don't screw up.
We taught our daughters and grands not to play with fire, that being preparatory to training them concerning sexual matters years later.
Our second daughter tried to discover just how close she could get to fire without harm. She and friends found a cigarette lighter, then began passing a finger through the flame. Each pass they slowed down, each time finger getting hotter, but not yet painfully burned. The only real question that mattered was at what point did she realize she got too close, then got painfully burned. She burned that finger a pass at a time, along with her friends, the last finger pass doubtless the one to have avoided, lest she be found foolish.
That's kind of how sex of any kind outside of marriage works on the flesh.
A good husband-to-be in the sight of God should learn before puberty not to intimately touch any girl/woman. I was taught in those days the only time I might hold a girl's hand would be to guide her over a puddle of water or for some similar assistance.
Follow the wisdom of [h=1]1 Corinthians 7King James Version (KJV)[/h][FONT="]7 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.[/FONT]
[FONT="]2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.[/FONT]
[FONT="]3 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.[/FONT]
[FONT="]4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.[/FONT]
[FONT="]5 Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.[/FONT]
[FONT="]6 But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment.[/FONT]
[FONT="]7 For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.[/FONT]
[FONT="]8 I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I.[/FONT]
[FONT="]9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.
[/FONT]
Our second daughter tried to discover just how close she could get to fire without harm. She and friends found a cigarette lighter, then began passing a finger through the flame. Each pass they slowed down, each time finger getting hotter, but not yet painfully burned. The only real question that mattered was at what point did she realize she got too close, then got painfully burned. She burned that finger a pass at a time, along with her friends, the last finger pass doubtless the one to have avoided, lest she be found foolish.
That's kind of how sex of any kind outside of marriage works on the flesh.
A good husband-to-be in the sight of God should learn before puberty not to intimately touch any girl/woman. I was taught in those days the only time I might hold a girl's hand would be to guide her over a puddle of water or for some similar assistance.
Follow the wisdom of [h=1]1 Corinthians 7King James Version (KJV)[/h][FONT="]7 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.[/FONT]
[FONT="]2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.[/FONT]
[FONT="]3 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.[/FONT]
[FONT="]4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.[/FONT]
[FONT="]5 Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.[/FONT]
[FONT="]6 But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment.[/FONT]
[FONT="]7 For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.[/FONT]
[FONT="]8 I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I.[/FONT]
[FONT="]9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.
[/FONT]
L
the more lines you cross, the more lines you cross
and once you cross the final line, you pretty much just kicked down all the reasons not to in the first place
the mind is a funny thing...it can come up with more excuses than the dog ate my homework...
I think you probably know the answer to your own question....
and once you cross the final line, you pretty much just kicked down all the reasons not to in the first place
the mind is a funny thing...it can come up with more excuses than the dog ate my homework...
I think you probably know the answer to your own question....
I have a 17 year old daughter. I have addressed this issue with her and the young men that have asked permission to date her . The boundaries we set are simple and I believe will produce biblical results. The simple rule is don't do anything to my daughter that you won't feel comfortable me doing to you . All laughs aside .It works .
Blessings
Bill
Blessings
Bill
That's my plan lol . The young men get the point . Its is a G rated date as far as my wife and I can see to it . We have instilled Christian values in our family as much as we can . Our daughter knows where the boundaries are we only pray for her strength.
as far as to the op if it's beyond a kiss get married.
Blessings
Bill
as far as to the op if it's beyond a kiss get married.
Blessings
Bill
SMH....Jesus said that to show our need for a savior. He was trying to make the point that try as we might we can never keep good enough law to save ourselves.
To the OP, if you really love each other pray and seek God's wisdom about getting married. I know it doesn't seem like it but waiting will make it better later on.
To the OP, if you really love each other pray and seek God's wisdom about getting married. I know it doesn't seem like it but waiting will make it better later on.