The role of women in Biblical marriages

[Ariel82]

I hope y'all aren't getting tired of me starting threads.

I just don't like threads that drag on for days, weeks and months. Nor do I like threads that go on for pages with mostly off topic rants and arguments.

I have found that if I post New threads, the discussion can happen in peace before vultures descend to pick fights with individuals about topics they were fighting about in another thread.

So this thread is to lay out what I have learned about a Woman's role in marriage.

Please excuse me if it is confusing. This is the first time I have tired to articulate it.

We will start off with a video one of my brothers in Christ posted in another thread:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=Wbj_eMhDqhA

It raises some good points, though the host/commentator is a little heavy handed.

Hope you are having a blessed day.

Gonna pray before posting my response to the video.

 

[Ariel82]

The video is really inflammatory, but I think it raises good points that we as women should answer. Also anyone male or female who support women pastors need to be able to answer WHY with scriptural support better than that couple did.

I will slowly work through the hosts questions and give my answers and the Biblical bases when i can.

Have to do life things too so might take a while.

1. Is your husband the head over you?

Yes. Just as Christ is head over the church, my husband is my head and leads our family.
He protects us, provides for us and loves me even when I do stupid things. He corrects me when I go off the chain and shows me when I am being judgemental. He shows his grace by thanking me for doing the things expected of a wife like cleaning and feeding him and the children. He encourages me to bless others and is a constant blessing to me.

I not only recognize him as my head but also that he owns my body as I own his according to scripture.

A concept not often taught and mentioned concerning marriage. Will post scriptures later.

 

[Ariel82]

The woman pastor question I addressed in my other thread and I don't think the video has much more to add to the discussion. Perhaps I should make a statment addressing the "nasty women" part at the end?

It unbiblical and not Christian to sleep around with different me, and strive to birth children of all the world's religions. Do I really need to say more?

 

[Ariel82]

Going to gather scriptures on marriage and women's roles and post them. Then break down how I understand them....hopefully I am not just talking to myself. Lol, but I know God listens if no one else does.

I think it would be good to examine the scriptures either way.

 

[kaylagrl]

Quote "Does she cook and clean the house? Yes. How do you get women to do that because men are stuck with women who wont?"

Im finding it hard to take this video seriously. She says "some women cant cook" and it flashes to girls holding signs about not cooking. Is there a problem if men can cook and women can't? My husband can cook and if Im not well or busy with other things he doesn't sit by the stove starving and rubbing his tummy because Im not there to feed him.He starts supper! Whats wrong with that?!

Second point,he asks "how do you deal with the hell that is in her?" when you are happy and come home to an unhappy wife. I wouldn't give that ol' boy leadership over a dog let alone a family. Its clear the point that he's trying to make and this is a dangerous teaching. If he doesn't like her answers he sure wouldn't like mine.

How should men handle women who think they are called by God? They are difficult becuse they act like men. Seriously??!!! I have female pastors in my family and there is nothing "difficult" or manly about them. But apparently whatever they did was in vain.


Im sorry this is more than heavy handed this is offensive to me. At the end he's comparing women in ministry to women at that march!!!? The whole thing from start to finish made me angry. This guy wouldn't be my pastor for ten minutes.

I dont understand this whole "who's the head" debate. I have two couples in my family that have this issue. The men lord over the women,the women at some point resent it and the cycle never ends. They've been in turmoil and strife their whole marriage. Marriage is a partnership. Try peddling a bicycle for two up hill with only one person peddling. The husband is the head to protect the wife,to love her as Christ loves the church, to lead when it is needed. What he is not is her daddy figure. I haven't men one person who goes on about "who's the leader" that doesn't have a problem lording their position over their wife. My husband and I make decisions together. We work together. We talk things out and we agree on the final decision because we're both comfortable with it. You can smack your wife in the head all day long with submit verses and you'll only get resentment. You want to lead,then do what the Lord did,He went to the cross for His bride. He sacrificed. I dont see that attitude anywhere in this man. Leading is more then telling your wife what you want for supper and what sex position you expect of her tonight. Totally disrespectful. I hope Christians are smarter than to listen to this for marriage advice.

 

[sevenseas]

what does it take to have a marriage 'until death do you part' ?

commitment to plan A and personal responsibility and a whole bunch of forgiveness and forgetfulness as in forgive as Christ in God has forgiven you.

I don't care for those earrings myself, but how are they a graven image?

I cook and clean. I cook because I like to eat and my husband only has a few dishes up his sleeve. I clean because I am clean. My husband can swing a broom and knows how to plug in a vacuum too. Do those things somehow define our genders?

at the 11 minute mark the dude is still arguing with the couple. he counsels?

19 minutes in, dude is still harping on women

this couple does not believe the Bible?

what does the women's march on DC have to do with this? did Ashley Judd say she was a Christian wife? did I miss that?

smacks of amateur hour at the men's retreat for men who want an excuse to treat their wives like 2nd class citizens

dude ignores all scripture but wives should submit. of course as the dude man, he can tell his wife whatever he wants and back it up with Christ told me to do it.

dude exemplifies the problems.

I'm a woman. I can only act like a woman. I don't look like a man or act like a man. If I have opinions, or a strong personality or I am capable, that somehow makes me resemble a man?

pity the woman married to such a weak individual who needs a fragile, insecure Barbie for a wife.

 

[Ariel82]

Just wanted to say Kayla I posted the video,because it was given to me and I believ many people believe some of the things spoken of by all three of these people and the creator of the YouTube video.

So yeah I will try and address some of the issues I have with the video, but it might take a while. Had lots of things I didn't agree with.

 

[Ariel82]

Proverbs 31

1 The words of king Lemuel, the prophecy that his mother taught him.
2 What, my son? and what, the son of my womb? and what, the son of my vows?
3 Give not thy strength unto women, nor thy ways to that which destroyeth kings.
4 It is not for kings, O Lemuel, it is not for kings to drink wine; nor for princes strong drink:
5 Lest they drink, and forget the law, and pervert the judgment of any of the afflicted.
6 Give strong drink unto him that is ready to perish, and wine unto those that be of heavy hearts.
7 Let him drink, and forget his poverty, and remember his misery no more.
8 Open thy mouth for the dumb in the cause of all such as are appointed to destruction.
9 Open thy mouth, judge righteously, and plead the cause of the poor and needy.
10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.
12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
13 She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.
14 She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar.
15 She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.
16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.
17 She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.
18 She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.
19 She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.
20 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.
21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.
22 She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.
23 Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.
24 She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.
25 Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.
26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.
29 Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.
30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.

 

[Ariel82]

1 Corinthians 7:4 ►
New International Version
The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife

Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control
I say this as a concession, not as a command.

I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.

 

[trofimus]

Funny video, btw.

 

[Magenta]

Proverbs 31

1 The words of king Lemuel, the prophecy that his mother taught him.
2 What, my son? and what, the son of my womb? and what, the son of my vows?
3 Give not thy strength unto women, nor thy ways to that which destroyeth kings.
4 It is not for kings, O Lemuel, it is not for kings to drink wine; nor for princes strong drink:
5 Lest they drink, and forget the law, and pervert the judgment of any of the afflicted.
6 Give strong drink unto him that is ready to perish, and wine unto those that be of heavy hearts.
7 Let him drink, and forget his poverty, and remember his misery no more.
8 Open thy mouth for the dumb in the cause of all such as are appointed to destruction.
9 Open thy mouth, judge righteously, and plead the cause of the poor and needy.
10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.
12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
13 She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.
14 She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar.
15 She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.
16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.
17 She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.
18 She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.
19 She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.
20 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.
21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.
22 She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.
23 Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.
24 She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.
25 Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.
26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.
29 Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.
30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.

I thought of this woman as soon as you created this thread

 

[trofimus]

I thought of this woman as soon as you created this thread

The description of a woman working manually from the early morning to the night like the servant of everybody in the house.

And in all of that, she does only good to her husband and is probably still prepared for sexual intimacy etc...

I wonder why do Christian women talk about this portion of Scripture when they would be the first against it if used in practice IMHO.

I am sorry if it was too much

 

[Magenta]

The description of a woman working manually from the early morning to the night like the servant of everybody in the house.

And in all of that, she does only good to her husband and is probably still prepared for sexual intimacy etc...

I wonder why do Christian women talk about this portion of Scripture when they would be the first against it if used in practice IMHO.

I am sorry if it was too much

She is obviously quite well off, and probably has most of her servants doing the work which is then credited to her. I would like to have such servants and wealth enough to keep them, too

 

[trofimus]

She is obviously quite well off, and probably has most of her servants doing the work which is then credited to her. I would like to have such servants and wealth enough to keep them, too

I must disappoint you... no servants "She makes, She does, She seeks etc".

And she also rise up children. And she also provides for herself (making even clothes she wears). She also does business so she probably provides for the family.

What does her husband do? He sits in the gates talking with other men (something like today's pubs? lol) about her that she is not very pretty, but works well

Yeah, the every Christian woman's ideal life Something you can find in Afghanistan even today

 

[Magenta]

I must disappoint you... no servants "She makes, She does, She seeks etc".

And she also rise up childrens. And she also provides for herself (making even clothes she wears). She also does business so she probably provides for the family.

What does her husband do? He sits in the gates talking with other men (something like today's pubs? lol) about her that she is not very pretty, but works well

Yeah, the every Christian woman's ideal life

Statesmen sat at the city gates, for the city gate was central to community action, where civic and legal matters were settled. She was well off and therefore would have had servants to do menial tasks. Otherwise her clothing would not be scarlet and purple. There is a thread on such color clothing. Some societies forbade the wearing of those colors except for nobility... which is why a magenta/purple/scarlet robe was put on Jesus If you do not understand the "hidden" subtleties in the culture of the time, things like that might escape a person's notice

 

[trofimus]

Statesmen sat at the city gates, for the city gate was central to community action, where civic and legal matters were settled. She was well off and therefore would have had servants to do menial tasks. Otherwise her clothing would not be scarlet and purple. There is a thread on such color clothing. Some societies forbade the wearing of those colors except for nobility... which is why a magenta/purple/scarlet robe was put on Jesus If you do not understand the "hidden" subtleties in the culture of the time, things like that might escape a person's notice

So we will ignore what is written ("she does, she makes...") and will look for what is not written?

Yes, men are "statesmen" in Afghanistan too... in every village there are many men sitting "in the gates". They are poor that they even do not have shoes, but whatever, they are "statesmen"
And their wives do all the hard work.

P.S.: I did not know that "magenta" is a color

 

[Magenta]

So we will ignore what is written ("she does, she makes...") and will look for what is not written?

Yes, men are "statesmen" in Afghanistan too... in every village there are many men sitting "in the gates". They are poor that they even do not have shoes, but whatever, they are "statesmen"
And their wives do all the hard work.

P.S.: I did not know that "magenta" is a color

I am not saying she was a slouch, just that what is credited to her and by her hand could be tasks performed by her servants, which would be normal, and yes, we need to read into the text an understanding of the culture at the time and not equate it to what we know of today's culture, which is completely different in many regards. Nobody wore purple or scarlet or magenta (yes, a colour ) unless they were very well off. Well off people had servants do things for them all the day long. Proverbs is a book based on metaphor, and wisdom is anthropomorphized as a woman. It is also a poem, and not all take it to be describing one woman only, but rather a full range of what are considered womanly virtues and responsibilities.

 

[Ariel82]

The description of a woman working manually from the early morning to the night like the servant of everybody in the house.

And in all of that, she does only good to her husband and is probably still prepared for sexual intimacy etc...

I wonder why do Christian women talk about this portion of Scripture when they would be the first against it if used in practice IMHO.

I am sorry if it was too much

She had hand maidens to help her...
"A portion to her maidens."

 

[Ariel82]

Gonna post later, really tired and still have to go grocery shopping and feed kids and hubby.

God bless and keep you.

See you when God blesses me with the leisure and words to post something sensible.

 

[trofimus]

She had hand maidens to help her...
"A portion to her maidens."

Oh please, let us not pick up just what we like

0 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.
12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
13 She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.
14 She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar.
15 She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.
16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.
17 She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.
18 She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.
19 She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.
20 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.
21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.
22 She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.
23 Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.
24 She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.
25 Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.
26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.
29 Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.
30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.

I know that you like that her man is saying nice things of her. But you must realize you would not like to be like her in America today

So if we say "A", let us say also "B".