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Benny Hinn Attempts Jedi Mind Trick On IRS Agents Investigating His Ministry | The Babylon Bee
April 27, 2017
GRAPEVINE, TX — As IRS and US Postal Service investigators swarmed Benny Hinn Ministries’ Grapevine office complex Wednesday, Benny Hinn himself stood nearby, utilizing a difficult, powerful Jedi mind trick on various government agents walking by in an attempt to dissuade them from investigating his ministry any further, sources confirmed.
“These aren’t the tax documents you’re looking for,” Hinn said calmly to a federal official carrying a large box of files and folders purportedly containing damning evidence of shady financial transactions on the part of the televangelist’s ministry. His mystical tone was accompanied by a slow wave of his hand as he closed his eyes in concentration.
“Sir, please just move out of the way so we can get these to our vehicle,” the IRS agent responded, according to those within earshot.
“I can go about my business,” Hinn replied, attempting to influence the agent’s actions with the mere power of his mind.
Exasperated, the agent attempted to plead one more time, but was interrupted by Hinn’s commanding voice, declaring, “Move along,” before he shook his head in frustration and just walked around the televangelist and prosperity gospel preacher.
At publishing time, sources had confirmed Hinn had attempted to blast the fleet of federal vehicles surrounding his ministry’s compound with a barrage of lightning from his fingertips, but had been unsuccessful.
April 27, 2017
GRAPEVINE, TX — As IRS and US Postal Service investigators swarmed Benny Hinn Ministries’ Grapevine office complex Wednesday, Benny Hinn himself stood nearby, utilizing a difficult, powerful Jedi mind trick on various government agents walking by in an attempt to dissuade them from investigating his ministry any further, sources confirmed.
“These aren’t the tax documents you’re looking for,” Hinn said calmly to a federal official carrying a large box of files and folders purportedly containing damning evidence of shady financial transactions on the part of the televangelist’s ministry. His mystical tone was accompanied by a slow wave of his hand as he closed his eyes in concentration.
“Sir, please just move out of the way so we can get these to our vehicle,” the IRS agent responded, according to those within earshot.
“I can go about my business,” Hinn replied, attempting to influence the agent’s actions with the mere power of his mind.
Exasperated, the agent attempted to plead one more time, but was interrupted by Hinn’s commanding voice, declaring, “Move along,” before he shook his head in frustration and just walked around the televangelist and prosperity gospel preacher.
At publishing time, sources had confirmed Hinn had attempted to blast the fleet of federal vehicles surrounding his ministry’s compound with a barrage of lightning from his fingertips, but had been unsuccessful.
What a bunch of garbage from that Babylon Bee thing - lightening from his fingers. What malice that rag magazine brings and promotes.
Why not wait until the whole story comes out to see what really happened before we malign someone with our malice and slander?
Perhaps there has been wrong doing - it wouldn't be the first ministry which has afflicted every denomination and belief in the Christian community.
What if there is no wrong doing? Then we have just slandered a fellow believer in the body of Christ.
Here's what we look like to the world when we act like this to each other.
Why not wait until the whole story comes out to see what really happened before we malign someone with our malice and slander?
Perhaps there has been wrong doing - it wouldn't be the first ministry which has afflicted every denomination and belief in the Christian community.
What if there is no wrong doing? Then we have just slandered a fellow believer in the body of Christ.
Here's what we look like to the world when we act like this to each other.
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Um, Hinn isn't a believer and he's not in the body of Christ. Wake up.
Here's what we look like when we expose false teachers like you, Hinn and Osteen: Biblically sound.
Oh, Babylon Bee's Adam Ford, who is biblically sound must've nailed your golden calf idol Benny Hinn and his false gospel which you promote, preach and embrace. Yes, g7, you promote covetousness which is idolatry in the form of WoF/Prsoperity gospel lies.
What do the Scriptures say about the covetous, and those who make merchandise of the true Gospel?
Thank GOD for men like Ford who expose heretics like Hinn, Osteen, and, well, those who support their lies.
.......................... I don't respond to foul behavior and lies....here is what they really are...just a pile of...
It's time to grow up and stop the malice and slander.
1 Peter 2:1-2 (NASB)
[SUP]1 [/SUP] Therefore, putting aside all malice and all deceit and hypocrisy and envy and all slander,
[SUP]2 [/SUP] like newborn babies,long for the pure milk of the word, so that by it you may grow in respect to salvation,
It's time to grow up and stop the malice and slander.
1 Peter 2:1-2 (NASB)
[SUP]1 [/SUP] Therefore, putting aside all malice and all deceit and hypocrisy and envy and all slander,
[SUP]2 [/SUP] like newborn babies,long for the pure milk of the word, so that by it you may grow in respect to salvation,
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...what you really do: Whenever truth is pronounced upon your beliefs, things that describe you, things that you teach, you come out and outright lie and call it slander. Your errors are exposed on here daily, and frankly you're a false teacher. I pray God wakes you up from your many errors and inability to receive correction and reproof. You're just as guilty as the heretics you promote.
S
I use to follow Benny Hinn early into the faith, then I realized that much of his teaching that God wants you to be healthy, wealthy, and prosperous as well as his scandal of pretending he has the gift of healing I began to wander far away from him.
I think I remember him abusing the parable in Matthew about the sower and interpreted to mean money being donated into his ministry and that we will get thirty fold, sixty fold, or even a hundred. Lies...and distortion
I think I remember him abusing the parable in Matthew about the sower and interpreted to mean money being donated into his ministry and that we will get thirty fold, sixty fold, or even a hundred. Lies...and distortion
What a bunch of garbage from that Babylon Bee thing - lightening from his fingers. What malice that rag magazine brings and promotes.
Why not wait until the whole story comes out to see what really happened before we malign someone with our malice and slander?
Perhaps there has been wrong doing - it wouldn't be the first ministry which has afflicted every denomination and belief in the Christian community.
What if there is no wrong doing? Then we have just slandered a fellow believer in the body of Christ.
Here's what we look like to the world when we act like this to each other.
Why not wait until the whole story comes out to see what really happened before we malign someone with our malice and slander?
Perhaps there has been wrong doing - it wouldn't be the first ministry which has afflicted every denomination and belief in the Christian community.
What if there is no wrong doing? Then we have just slandered a fellow believer in the body of Christ.
Here's what we look like to the world when we act like this to each other.
You do know that the BabylonBee is satire, right? In fact, I follow BB on FB. It is my first (and sometimes only!) laugh of the day. The comments are also priceless.
As for mocking Hinn in these two posts, if the shoe fits, wear it! (I think it fits fabulously, probably because Benny had it custom made for his feet! LOL)
Once you follow the BB for a while, you will find they mock absolutely everything. There are no sacred cows or traditions that they don't mocke, sooner or later.
Really Grace777, for someone who is so against "the traditions of men" and telling people to break away from them, it is really hypocritical for you to say, "Yes, but my traditions are true, and they are the only ones that count!"
The only disgrace to Christianity I see, is that false prophets who fleece the flock are giving the name of Jesus a bad name, and driving people from their faith. Only yesterday, on FB, I had a long time friend comment she was losing her faith in God since her mother died of cancer, and her father suffers from some kind of mental illness. I gave a bit of my testimony about coming to grips with the fact that we live in a fallen world, things will not be perfect till Jesus returns. She was printing up the Bible passages I gave her, and posting them on her fridge to remind her than God is in control!
I was able to stand against this Word Faith heresy, that everyone should be healed, using the Word of God, not the Word of Faith. It is just so awful the way these heretics are stealing from desperate blind people, and have created a doctrine on healing that does not stand up to exegetical scrutiny! I have also met a suicidal person, who was sick, not healed, and then told it was his fault! Something about unconfessed sin, not having enough faith, or not claiming it enough, I assume? Another person I had to share what the Bible really says, and what a delusion the Word Faith movement is! (Not saying God does not heal, he does! But not on demand by some TV evangelist, looking for more money from poor people suffering and in pain, or poor, and think the lies these wolves preach are the truth!)
Not my opinion, in case you want to post that! And if you doubt me, I can start a whole new post about why Health and Wealth is a scam and a Bibilcal lie! BUT, the OP and the subsequent post by PH are satire. The problem with satire, for humourless people like you, is that it has to have an element of truth in it, to make it funny.
As for the post of the garbage pile again, for the upteenth dozen time, perhaps instead of chastising people because they disagree with your false doctrine, you need to look at the real wolves - those teachers leading the flock astray, and those who follow them. Or, maybe look at how much garbage you have in that pile, standing up against the truth of the Bible, and then calling out people who do care about sound doctrine!
More on the real meaning of wolves in the Bible. And it is NOT people arguing against teachers who preach another gospel! It is the preachers and shepherds wo are condemned by Jesus and echoed in Paul's words!
"Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep's clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves." Matt 7:15
"I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. 12 He who is a hired hand and not a shepherd, who does not own the sheep, sees the wolf coming and leaves the sheep and flees, and the wolf snatches them and scatters them. 13 He flees because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep. 14 I am the good shepherd. I know my own and my own know me, 15 just as the Father knows me and I know the Father; and I lay down my life for the sheep." John 10:11-15
"I know that after my departure fierce wolves will come in among you, not sparing the flock; 30 and from among your own selves will arise men speaking twisted things, to draw away the disciples after them." Acts 20:29-30
Perfect descriptions of men like Benny Hinn, Joel Osteen and Joseph Prince! And the other people who are pushing the false doctrine of Word of Faith!
Just more malice and slander against others in the body of Christ because of some things viewed in scripture that is different then what they do.
It's time to grow up in the Lord and stop this biting and devouring others up. It's ungodly behavior no matter how much we try to disguise it with the "heresy" garbage.
It's just a disguise for the flesh. Maybe some people are off in their doctrine but who isn't in some form or other? Who in the world other then the self-proclaimed Greek scholars and some supposedly preachers of truth is perfect in all their doctrine?
What about women teachers? Are they are in heresy to some people in the body of Christ?
Should be start a thread exposing these women teachers as being the heretics that they are because some believers in the body of Christ think they should not be teaching men? Should we be making fun of them and de-meaning them in front of the world?
Should we erect websites and start threads to de-mean and slander these women that teach the scriptures to men in congregations like some here in CC say they do?
Should we put devil horns on their heads and put their faces and names in a wolf face with sheep skin on them?
Galatians 5:15-16 (NASB)
[SUP]15 [/SUP] But if you bite and devour one another, take care that you are not consumed by one another.
[SUP]16 [/SUP] But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh.
It's time to grow up in the Lord and stop this biting and devouring others up. It's ungodly behavior no matter how much we try to disguise it with the "heresy" garbage.
It's just a disguise for the flesh. Maybe some people are off in their doctrine but who isn't in some form or other? Who in the world other then the self-proclaimed Greek scholars and some supposedly preachers of truth is perfect in all their doctrine?
What about women teachers? Are they are in heresy to some people in the body of Christ?
Should be start a thread exposing these women teachers as being the heretics that they are because some believers in the body of Christ think they should not be teaching men? Should we be making fun of them and de-meaning them in front of the world?
Should we erect websites and start threads to de-mean and slander these women that teach the scriptures to men in congregations like some here in CC say they do?
Should we put devil horns on their heads and put their faces and names in a wolf face with sheep skin on them?
Galatians 5:15-16 (NASB)
[SUP]15 [/SUP] But if you bite and devour one another, take care that you are not consumed by one another.
[SUP]16 [/SUP] But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh.
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A
What a bunch of garbage from that Babylon Bee thing - lightening from his fingers. What malice that rag magazine brings and promotes.
Why not wait until the whole story comes out to see what really happened before we malign someone with our malice and slander?
Perhaps there has been wrong doing - it wouldn't be the first ministry which has afflicted every denomination and belief in the Christian community.
What if there is no wrong doing? Then we have just slandered a fellow believer in the body of Christ.
Here's what we look like to the world when we act like this to each other.
Why not wait until the whole story comes out to see what really happened before we malign someone with our malice and slander?
Perhaps there has been wrong doing - it wouldn't be the first ministry which has afflicted every denomination and belief in the Christian community.
What if there is no wrong doing? Then we have just slandered a fellow believer in the body of Christ.
Here's what we look like to the world when we act like this to each other.
A
Benny Hinn's Response To Dateline NBC
Most recently he was investigated by Dateline NBC in a show that aired December 27, 2002. All of these shows showed evidence that Benny Hinn has been scaming people for their money with false healing claims that he cannot prove. He was asked on all these shows to provide medical proof of the miracles he and his follower claim to be experiencing, but to date not one shred of definitive evidence has been provided by the ministry. Hinn did provide evidence, but when it was investigated the claims turned out to be claims without medical justification.
Quite contrary to Hinn's claims, a number of people have died who Hinn proclaimed healed. Hinn stated that he never states that people are healed but they are the ones saying they are healed, yet we have many video clips of him telling people they are healed.
......
There were more reports of deaths as a result of people not seeking adequate medical attention because Hinn had pronounced them healed.
******
I may not feel called to point out the wolves that pretend to be Christians, but I will not defend men who teach false doctrines in the name of Jesus that cause people to DIE and blame GOD for his lies.
Most recently he was investigated by Dateline NBC in a show that aired December 27, 2002. All of these shows showed evidence that Benny Hinn has been scaming people for their money with false healing claims that he cannot prove. He was asked on all these shows to provide medical proof of the miracles he and his follower claim to be experiencing, but to date not one shred of definitive evidence has been provided by the ministry. Hinn did provide evidence, but when it was investigated the claims turned out to be claims without medical justification.
Quite contrary to Hinn's claims, a number of people have died who Hinn proclaimed healed. Hinn stated that he never states that people are healed but they are the ones saying they are healed, yet we have many video clips of him telling people they are healed.
......
There were more reports of deaths as a result of people not seeking adequate medical attention because Hinn had pronounced them healed.
******
I may not feel called to point out the wolves that pretend to be Christians, but I will not defend men who teach false doctrines in the name of Jesus that cause people to DIE and blame GOD for his lies.