Weakness, strength, being clean, being filthy, being a sinner, being holy screwing up, and doing right these are all things that many people contemplate inside their own hearts even though we say that we are holy righteous and redeemed and that it was never about us being strong or good enough and that it's his holiness and sinlessness that matters and not ours because of human nature even though we say these things and even maybe believe them we still at times contemplate them when we look at ourselves.
I had a discussion with God today going on my walk and it was an educational one to say the least, i have always been one to search my own heart the problem i have is doing so in a non condemning or non judgemental way lol. I spoke to him how I know that i am a child inside in mind heart and soul and that I want to one day mature and grow up to be a responsible respectful mature and upright man, I want to grow out of this child like nature of mine and be like everyone else my age.
But then a thought came to mind which I have no doubt was him responding to me, I am a child in mind nature heart and soul even though my age would say different but what if instead of being concerned with who and what i am not I accept myself as I am? To God it never seemed to matter if I was mature or a grown up in mind and heart in fact it seemed as if because of my childlike mind and heart he and I have always been able to connect in a way that others wouldn't be able to otherwise, and he would because of my child like nature allow me to see, perceive and to receive things that only thew mind and heart of a child could.
It made think to myself how it's so exhausting not liking myself for who I am and how it's such a drag wishing I was this or that when he accepts me and adores me for who I am right now. I began to wonder if many others feel this way too, and maybe that is our main issue. I mean what if what we think we want to become and want to be isn't at all what he does?
I just wanted to post this in hopes that the fruit of my discussion with him might help someone here, Me personally, i have a lot to ponder about from it.
I had a discussion with God today going on my walk and it was an educational one to say the least, i have always been one to search my own heart the problem i have is doing so in a non condemning or non judgemental way lol. I spoke to him how I know that i am a child inside in mind heart and soul and that I want to one day mature and grow up to be a responsible respectful mature and upright man, I want to grow out of this child like nature of mine and be like everyone else my age.
But then a thought came to mind which I have no doubt was him responding to me, I am a child in mind nature heart and soul even though my age would say different but what if instead of being concerned with who and what i am not I accept myself as I am? To God it never seemed to matter if I was mature or a grown up in mind and heart in fact it seemed as if because of my childlike mind and heart he and I have always been able to connect in a way that others wouldn't be able to otherwise, and he would because of my child like nature allow me to see, perceive and to receive things that only thew mind and heart of a child could.
It made think to myself how it's so exhausting not liking myself for who I am and how it's such a drag wishing I was this or that when he accepts me and adores me for who I am right now. I began to wonder if many others feel this way too, and maybe that is our main issue. I mean what if what we think we want to become and want to be isn't at all what he does?
I just wanted to post this in hopes that the fruit of my discussion with him might help someone here, Me personally, i have a lot to ponder about from it.
