Christian friend just stopped caring
- Thread starter umzza
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umzza - Hey there!
First, I'm extremely sorry about this. It's so hard to experience this from a friend who's supposed to be there for you and to love you.
There are a variety of reasons why someone ends or walks away from a friendship, whether Christian or not.
I'm not going to talk about the variety of reasons, simply because it can make your brain go crazy! Wondering if those reasons could be the reason, or just can cause stress to you.
What you can focus on is yourself and I would HIGHLY encourage you to approach the person who did this (if it's a speicifc person) and just ask, "Hey, I've been feeling a bit of a distance with you. Can we talk about it?"
If it's just general, I think a lot of people might want to end friendships or just end things and just not know how to, so they just walk away. It's not okay and it's not right. And, I'm sorry that happened. :/
I can't give you an answer as to why people just stop caring in general. They could be busy and not know that they are doing it , or they might actually just stop caring. It doesn't hurt to ask.
I'm sorry again.
First, I'm extremely sorry about this. It's so hard to experience this from a friend who's supposed to be there for you and to love you.
There are a variety of reasons why someone ends or walks away from a friendship, whether Christian or not.
I'm not going to talk about the variety of reasons, simply because it can make your brain go crazy! Wondering if those reasons could be the reason, or just can cause stress to you.
What you can focus on is yourself and I would HIGHLY encourage you to approach the person who did this (if it's a speicifc person) and just ask, "Hey, I've been feeling a bit of a distance with you. Can we talk about it?"
If it's just general, I think a lot of people might want to end friendships or just end things and just not know how to, so they just walk away. It's not okay and it's not right. And, I'm sorry that happened. :/
I can't give you an answer as to why people just stop caring in general. They could be busy and not know that they are doing it , or they might actually just stop caring. It doesn't hurt to ask.
I'm sorry again.
M
Whatever outcomes from others may be, friends or foes, let us respond with His genuine love (Romans 12:21; 1 John 4:19-20). How we see others is a reflection of ourselves - how we respond to, regards, care for others. Is it with love of Christ or our old selves (Ephesians 4:22-24) that are still alive? May we continue to love our neighbors as ourselves (Matthew 22:39), love our enemies too (Matthew 5:43-48). For we were once unsaved and living in the darkness, now we are new creations (Ezekiel 11:19; 2 Corinthians 5:17) and have been bought at a price with our bodies as temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in us, whom we have received from God (1 Corinthians 6:19-20).
And people are crazy.. :/
I left one friend cause she came on to me, gross! There was no mistake, I didn't misunderstand. It was homosexual flirting. I'm outta here!!!
Another friend interpreted kindness as flirting. I made it clear to him that those kind of feelings were not mutual. Still he stalked me at church. When I went to one side of the building, so did he. When I went downstairs so did he. During church service he would creep closer and closer to my pew, even be standing in the isle way during song, and still inch closer and closer to me. After church, whenever I went to hug someone, he would step in so I felt obligated to hug him. He really creeped me out, so I left that congregation.
I still accept him as my brother in Christ, but as strong as he is in coming onto me, that's how strong I have to be in telling him no. If anyone else there misses me, they should've called to ask why. If they are not involved in my life outside of church, I feel no obligation. I love them all, and plan on visiting sometime, but it's to be assumed that if they don't try to contact me, they are not hurt.
Another congregation I left once because they were pressuring me to give more than I can. At the time, I had less than two dollars left after I paid my monthly bills. One month I'd get toothpaste, one month I'd get dish soap, and I would just make it last. I literally had nothing to give in church unless I could babysit once in a while. But they never even knew my situation, or my life outside of church, so I left cause it felt like a business, not love. And again, some could be hurt assuming it's about them.
All these things can be cleared up by simply asking the friend "What went wrong here."
Another friend interpreted kindness as flirting. I made it clear to him that those kind of feelings were not mutual. Still he stalked me at church. When I went to one side of the building, so did he. When I went downstairs so did he. During church service he would creep closer and closer to my pew, even be standing in the isle way during song, and still inch closer and closer to me. After church, whenever I went to hug someone, he would step in so I felt obligated to hug him. He really creeped me out, so I left that congregation.
I still accept him as my brother in Christ, but as strong as he is in coming onto me, that's how strong I have to be in telling him no. If anyone else there misses me, they should've called to ask why. If they are not involved in my life outside of church, I feel no obligation. I love them all, and plan on visiting sometime, but it's to be assumed that if they don't try to contact me, they are not hurt.
Another congregation I left once because they were pressuring me to give more than I can. At the time, I had less than two dollars left after I paid my monthly bills. One month I'd get toothpaste, one month I'd get dish soap, and I would just make it last. I literally had nothing to give in church unless I could babysit once in a while. But they never even knew my situation, or my life outside of church, so I left cause it felt like a business, not love. And again, some could be hurt assuming it's about them.
All these things can be cleared up by simply asking the friend "What went wrong here."
It is a possibility that something could of happened? Perhaps struck by illness of some kind? Perhaps have gone through some kind of breakdown?
I can only answer this based on my own experiences throughout life, but many years ago, when I was struck with health problems, I went through stages I just didn't care anymore. Now I won't go in detail, but it was a terrible time period for me. I no longer have that attitude.
Try talking to your friend, perhaps something has happened?
I can only answer this based on my own experiences throughout life, but many years ago, when I was struck with health problems, I went through stages I just didn't care anymore. Now I won't go in detail, but it was a terrible time period for me. I no longer have that attitude.
Try talking to your friend, perhaps something has happened?
That is the way we all are as sinners. I am sure you are aware of how even you disappoint yourself at times.
But there is one Good News to remember and that Jesus Christ is in you & is with you always. He will always be there for you as your Friend and you can talk to Him at any time.
Even if your friend was still being the best friend, that friend can never be there for you all the time or be there when you need that friend the most.
It may be that your friend is going through something that makes her feel as if she is unworthy; something bad may had happened that she did not care to be around you for you to reject her when she feels bad enough as it is. The devil is on the loose and he can drag any one down into the pits of despair. It could be something else that is driving a wedge between your friend and yourself. It could be some thing you had said that she took the wrong way or as an indirect slight towards herself. If you had "trespass" against her, you need to ask her to explain what you had done to offend her so you can better assess her attitude towards yourself as well as yours towards her. Maybe a joke or pun that went too far? I know not. If she is unwilling to clear the air, even by letter, then ......
All you can do is let your friend know that you rely on Jesus Christ all the time as your Friend and so can she, but if she ever needed someone to talk to again, she can call you any time and God be willing, you will be available for her as a friend in Christ and that you will be relying on Him as your Friend to be the kind of friend He wants you to be with her... a patient, long suffering kind. Certainly Jesus has been that way with us. He surely can help us be that way to our brothers & sisters.
But there is one Good News to remember and that Jesus Christ is in you & is with you always. He will always be there for you as your Friend and you can talk to Him at any time.
Even if your friend was still being the best friend, that friend can never be there for you all the time or be there when you need that friend the most.
It may be that your friend is going through something that makes her feel as if she is unworthy; something bad may had happened that she did not care to be around you for you to reject her when she feels bad enough as it is. The devil is on the loose and he can drag any one down into the pits of despair. It could be something else that is driving a wedge between your friend and yourself. It could be some thing you had said that she took the wrong way or as an indirect slight towards herself. If you had "trespass" against her, you need to ask her to explain what you had done to offend her so you can better assess her attitude towards yourself as well as yours towards her. Maybe a joke or pun that went too far? I know not. If she is unwilling to clear the air, even by letter, then ......
All you can do is let your friend know that you rely on Jesus Christ all the time as your Friend and so can she, but if she ever needed someone to talk to again, she can call you any time and God be willing, you will be available for her as a friend in Christ and that you will be relying on Him as your Friend to be the kind of friend He wants you to be with her... a patient, long suffering kind. Certainly Jesus has been that way with us. He surely can help us be that way to our brothers & sisters.