Why Do Christians Divorce?
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Well, one thing is that you have to consider what is meant by the term 'Christian'. I have to believe a number of them are by title only and not really active in their faith. So, in my opinion, that would be number one on the list.
I can't speak officially but some reasons i see come up frequently are cheating, often, but not always, relating to porn addiction where they eventually begin cheating. Abuse is very common as well.
Also one spouse saying they just no longer love the other (or never did). That one is surprisingly common. Drugs/alcohol addiction.
I can't speak officially but some reasons i see come up frequently are cheating, often, but not always, relating to porn addiction where they eventually begin cheating. Abuse is very common as well.
Also one spouse saying they just no longer love the other (or never did). That one is surprisingly common. Drugs/alcohol addiction.
I believe that the answer to your question is that the word 'Christians' is used so loosely as to become meaningless.
If a Christian is a follower of Jesus' teachings, then he or she will believe all that Jesus said about divorce.
If a person divorces, for any reason except adultery, he or she is not following Jesus' teachings.
The foregoing is of course overly simplistic and somewhat legalistic; but it does make a valid point.
If a Christian is a follower of Jesus' teachings, then he or she will believe all that Jesus said about divorce.
If a person divorces, for any reason except adultery, he or she is not following Jesus' teachings.
The foregoing is of course overly simplistic and somewhat legalistic; but it does make a valid point.
There could be several reasons for this blot on Christianity:
1. Those claiming to be Christians are really unregenerate and therefore do as the world does.
2. Those who are genuine Christians operate as "carnal" rather than spiritual Christians, allowing the flesh to control them.
3. A lack of discipling and discipleship of new believers.
4. Little or no sound biblical teaching on marriage and its spiritual significance as related to Christ and the Church.
5. Lack of real shepherding by pastors, who do everything other than spend time helping individuals with their spiritual issues.
6. False teaching on divorce and remarriage.
7. Allowing the influence of Hollywood and celebrities to dominate peoples thinking.
8. Going into marriage without a serious commitment to a lifetime of marriage.
9. Lack of serious Christian premarital counseling -- either not being offered in churches or not be sought by couples.
10. Immature and naive thinking about marriage and its responsibilities.
1. Those claiming to be Christians are really unregenerate and therefore do as the world does.
2. Those who are genuine Christians operate as "carnal" rather than spiritual Christians, allowing the flesh to control them.
3. A lack of discipling and discipleship of new believers.
4. Little or no sound biblical teaching on marriage and its spiritual significance as related to Christ and the Church.
5. Lack of real shepherding by pastors, who do everything other than spend time helping individuals with their spiritual issues.
6. False teaching on divorce and remarriage.
7. Allowing the influence of Hollywood and celebrities to dominate peoples thinking.
8. Going into marriage without a serious commitment to a lifetime of marriage.
9. Lack of serious Christian premarital counseling -- either not being offered in churches or not be sought by couples.
10. Immature and naive thinking about marriage and its responsibilities.
Y
There is very little negative stigma attached to divorce these days. Relationships are temporary and disposable.
Getting a divorce is easy. Especially if it's not contested. The forms can be downloaded from the Internet, filled out in an afternoon, filed with the Clerk of Court, and in 90-120 days...ta-da!
People fail to realize that the common thread to all the "bad" relationships they have is themselves. They have open emotional wounds they expect another person to fix because self-reflection and soul-searching is hard and unpleasant. They bounce from one relationship to the next each time expecting the new one to be better than the old one...and it isn't.
Getting a divorce is easy. Especially if it's not contested. The forms can be downloaded from the Internet, filled out in an afternoon, filed with the Clerk of Court, and in 90-120 days...ta-da!
People fail to realize that the common thread to all the "bad" relationships they have is themselves. They have open emotional wounds they expect another person to fix because self-reflection and soul-searching is hard and unpleasant. They bounce from one relationship to the next each time expecting the new one to be better than the old one...and it isn't.
Many who claim to be Christians are not Christians. But the #1 reason most couples in society get a divorce is because of Money (statistiacally speaking). But we know Jesus only gives one reason for divorce- marital unfaithfulness. So excuses like 'we fell out of love' or 'the honeymoon stage is over' or 'I have interest in someone else'- No! These are reasons to break up with a boyfriend or girlfriend- not a spouse! You got up in front of witnesses and told God you would stay married to this person for better or worse, till death do you part. So unless there's physical death, or the marriage dies because of infidelity, the marriage is still on.
The reason Jesus allows you to divorce a cheater is because God wants marriage to be one man and one woman. If your spouse has sex with many others, and you have sex with your spouse, germ-wise you are having sex with many others too. And God allows us to prevent or escape from that situation.
Aside from two exceptions (death or cheating) marriage is for life!
The reason Jesus allows you to divorce a cheater is because God wants marriage to be one man and one woman. If your spouse has sex with many others, and you have sex with your spouse, germ-wise you are having sex with many others too. And God allows us to prevent or escape from that situation.
Aside from two exceptions (death or cheating) marriage is for life!
Most Christians don't understand God's prescribe order of victory over sin, the world, the flesh, and the devil ("The Law Of The Spirit Of Life In Christ Jesus" - Romans 8:2).
If a Christian Faith is not maintain exclusively in Christ and His Finished Work, i.e., The Cross, i.e., The BLOOD of Jesus, the works of the flesh will manifest. That is why a minor traffic stop could turn into a murder, a argument could turn into a divorce, you see redefinition of marriage, and so much more.
Paul tells us this in the 5th Chapter of Galatians. The entire Book of Galatians, but especially the 5th Chapter, is a warning from Paul to the Church at Galatia, which is also meant for us. The warning is that if they place their faith in anything except “Christ and Him Crucified,” that “Christ shall profit you nothing” (Gal. 5:2).
The Apostle goes on to say that if the Believer doesn’t adhere to the Way of the Spirit, which is the Way of the Cross, then works of the flesh will manifest themselves. He said:
“Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the Kingdom of God” (Gal. 5:19-21).
Now let me say it again, because it is so very important:
If the Believer doesn’t understand the Cross of Christ, as it regards Sanctification, then, in some way, one or more of these “works of the flesh” are going to manifest themselves in his life. As stated, such is inevitable! The first four, “Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, and lasciviousness,” are obvious and easily understood. But the modern Christian quickly dismisses “idolatry, witchcraft, and heresies,” thinking they do not really apply today.
JSM
If a Christian Faith is not maintain exclusively in Christ and His Finished Work, i.e., The Cross, i.e., The BLOOD of Jesus, the works of the flesh will manifest. That is why a minor traffic stop could turn into a murder, a argument could turn into a divorce, you see redefinition of marriage, and so much more.
Paul tells us this in the 5th Chapter of Galatians. The entire Book of Galatians, but especially the 5th Chapter, is a warning from Paul to the Church at Galatia, which is also meant for us. The warning is that if they place their faith in anything except “Christ and Him Crucified,” that “Christ shall profit you nothing” (Gal. 5:2).
The Apostle goes on to say that if the Believer doesn’t adhere to the Way of the Spirit, which is the Way of the Cross, then works of the flesh will manifest themselves. He said:
“Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the Kingdom of God” (Gal. 5:19-21).
Now let me say it again, because it is so very important:
If the Believer doesn’t understand the Cross of Christ, as it regards Sanctification, then, in some way, one or more of these “works of the flesh” are going to manifest themselves in his life. As stated, such is inevitable! The first four, “Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, and lasciviousness,” are obvious and easily understood. But the modern Christian quickly dismisses “idolatry, witchcraft, and heresies,” thinking they do not really apply today.
JSM
I have personally counseled a pastor's wife (who is a strong Christian) who felt terrible about divorcing her husband. Yet, I saw her with a black eye and bruises. He continually beat her. Once drove her out in the desert and left her for hours by herself. I offered her a "safe house" to take her and her daughter to, but she never went. She stayed with him so that the reputation of the church would not suffer. Was that right? I'm sure God did not want her to be abused anymore.
I know of another evangelist's wife whose husband beat her often. I spoke with her, but I do not know if she ever left him.
Even pastors have controlling and abusing issues many times. Yet, in the pulpit, no one would even imagine that they could hurt their wives or anyone.
Most Christians I know who have divorced did so because of adultery by their husbands or wives. Yet, many have forgiven and stuck it out. I would never judge those Christians who leave. It is not easy for them.
I know of another evangelist's wife whose husband beat her often. I spoke with her, but I do not know if she ever left him.
Even pastors have controlling and abusing issues many times. Yet, in the pulpit, no one would even imagine that they could hurt their wives or anyone.
Most Christians I know who have divorced did so because of adultery by their husbands or wives. Yet, many have forgiven and stuck it out. I would never judge those Christians who leave. It is not easy for them.
I was also going to point out abuse as a big issue in marriages. Some Christian men, wrongly reading the Bible, think that they are masters and their wives are slaves. This inequitable relationship is always going to end in divorce. Or death of the victim!
Abuse is about controlling someone else. So, it is not just about physical abuse, but financial, emotional, social, child rearing, sexual and many other issues. Mostly, a combination of one or more. An abuser is not going to try and control someone in just one area of their lives. Instead, the need to control spills over into many areas. And violent person is going to end up physically abusing their spouse, which is the final straw in destroying a marriage relationship.
No person should have to endure continuous abuse at the hands of someone who is supposed to love them.
"Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church,30 because we are members of his body." Eph. 5:25-30
Christ never controlled or abused his church. And to say the husband NEEDS to control his wife, because she is not behaving, is a total twisting of marriage. Marriage is not about the husband disciplining the wife, as one would a child. Instead, it is a mutual relationship of caring, sharing, helping and loving.
A good book to read on this topic is "A Cry for Justice" by Jeff Crippen, a pastor. He was counselling women to go back to their husbands and love them more. What he ended up with, was dead wives. Because an abuser needs more help than just his wife obeying his every whim. In fact, deep repentance and counselling are needed, for God to effect a change. Of course, this also applies to men who are abused! Although men are generally stronger, a woman with a baseball bat or even a gun, can do as much damage as any strong man! I do remember one profound comment in the book. It was concerning one woman who was getting beaten daily by her husband, because she did everything right! He said she was "too perfect." Because, any excuse is viable in the eyes of an abuser.
My point! No one should stay in an abusive marriage. Then need to get out, then see if the abuser is willing to change. And then, only reconcile after extensive counselling and/or marriage counselling. Abusers can change with the help of God, but it is something they have to want to do! And they have to work hard to change controlling attitudes and actions.
And, I guess the other question should be asked, is that is a person who abuses their spouse, truly a Christian? Of course, that is between them and God, but, in the case of abuse, the spouse who is being abused needs to ask this hard and fast question, and find out if they need to leave an unbeliever, or seek counselling if that person thinks they can change.
Abuse is about controlling someone else. So, it is not just about physical abuse, but financial, emotional, social, child rearing, sexual and many other issues. Mostly, a combination of one or more. An abuser is not going to try and control someone in just one area of their lives. Instead, the need to control spills over into many areas. And violent person is going to end up physically abusing their spouse, which is the final straw in destroying a marriage relationship.
No person should have to endure continuous abuse at the hands of someone who is supposed to love them.
"Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church,30 because we are members of his body." Eph. 5:25-30
Christ never controlled or abused his church. And to say the husband NEEDS to control his wife, because she is not behaving, is a total twisting of marriage. Marriage is not about the husband disciplining the wife, as one would a child. Instead, it is a mutual relationship of caring, sharing, helping and loving.
A good book to read on this topic is "A Cry for Justice" by Jeff Crippen, a pastor. He was counselling women to go back to their husbands and love them more. What he ended up with, was dead wives. Because an abuser needs more help than just his wife obeying his every whim. In fact, deep repentance and counselling are needed, for God to effect a change. Of course, this also applies to men who are abused! Although men are generally stronger, a woman with a baseball bat or even a gun, can do as much damage as any strong man! I do remember one profound comment in the book. It was concerning one woman who was getting beaten daily by her husband, because she did everything right! He said she was "too perfect." Because, any excuse is viable in the eyes of an abuser.
My point! No one should stay in an abusive marriage. Then need to get out, then see if the abuser is willing to change. And then, only reconcile after extensive counselling and/or marriage counselling. Abusers can change with the help of God, but it is something they have to want to do! And they have to work hard to change controlling attitudes and actions.
And, I guess the other question should be asked, is that is a person who abuses their spouse, truly a Christian? Of course, that is between them and God, but, in the case of abuse, the spouse who is being abused needs to ask this hard and fast question, and find out if they need to leave an unbeliever, or seek counselling if that person thinks they can change.
Christian people divorce for the same reasons they commit any other sinful act. How long a list is that? 
Yes, that's a somewhat-facetious answer. There are legitimate reasons to divorce. Joiedevivre brought up a good point: many people don't divorce who have good reason to do so.
I'll quote Patrick Doyle, a Christian counselor whose YouTube material is quite good... the church tends to put marriages on a pedestal as though they are more valuable than the people in them, and work/counsel/cajole/force people in very troubled marriages to continue in the pain and ugliness instead of recognizing that, in certain cases, remaining married may not be best.
One more thought: divorce is not the only response to a troubled marriage.
Yes, that's a somewhat-facetious answer. There are legitimate reasons to divorce. Joiedevivre brought up a good point: many people don't divorce who have good reason to do so.
I'll quote Patrick Doyle, a Christian counselor whose YouTube material is quite good... the church tends to put marriages on a pedestal as though they are more valuable than the people in them, and work/counsel/cajole/force people in very troubled marriages to continue in the pain and ugliness instead of recognizing that, in certain cases, remaining married may not be best.
One more thought: divorce is not the only response to a troubled marriage.
Only if one applies a humanisitic and worldly response to this. Abuse can be on both side, but let's put that aside for the moment. Christians are to be in fellowship with other Christians in churches where the Bible is the ultimate authority in all things. Such churches should also have spiritual leaders.
So if there is an issue within a Christian marriage, what about approaching mature believers or pastors or elders and presenting the issue, so that a biblical and spiritual solution is presented to the couple? There is usually fault on both sides, so both spouses must be willing to face their own sins. and repent and turn away from ungodliness. So why is this not the answer?
Genuine Christians -- by definition -- should repent when confronted with their own sins and failures. And if they are not genuine, they need to hear the Gospel, and then repent and believe, having been informed that hardness of heart or an unrepentant spirit could lead to severe judgment from God. In other words, the fear of God should be put into people who want to divorce just because everything is not "perfect".
So if there is an issue within a Christian marriage, what about approaching mature believers or pastors or elders and presenting the issue, so that a biblical and spiritual solution is presented to the couple? There is usually fault on both sides, so both spouses must be willing to face their own sins. and repent and turn away from ungodliness. So why is this not the answer?
Genuine Christians -- by definition -- should repent when confronted with their own sins and failures. And if they are not genuine, they need to hear the Gospel, and then repent and believe, having been informed that hardness of heart or an unrepentant spirit could lead to severe judgment from God. In other words, the fear of God should be put into people who want to divorce just because everything is not "perfect".
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Once again, no reference to a biblical and spiritual solution.
Two people who have genuinely repented and made Christ their Lord and Savior will deal with every issue on that basis. But we see more and more that Christians are turning to worldly answers for solutions instead of obeying the Word of God and all the counsel which God has already provided.
A troubled marriage means that self and flesh are on the throne (probably on both sides). So what is the solution? It is there for all to read and apply. But many so-called "Christian" counselors are turning to Freud and Jung for the answers.
Two people who have genuinely repented and made Christ their Lord and Savior will deal with every issue on that basis. But we see more and more that Christians are turning to worldly answers for solutions instead of obeying the Word of God and all the counsel which God has already provided.
A troubled marriage means that self and flesh are on the throne (probably on both sides). So what is the solution? It is there for all to read and apply. But many so-called "Christian" counselors are turning to Freud and Jung for the answers.
M
"The simplest explanation is usually the correct one."
Occam's razor (also Ockham's razor; Latin: lex parsimoniae "law of parsimony") is a problem-solving principle attributed to William of Ockham (c. 1287–1347), who was an English Franciscan friar, scholastic philosopher, and theologian. His principle states that among competing hypotheses, the one with the fewest assumptions should be selected.
In science, Occam's razor is used as a heuristic guide in the development of theoretical models, rather than as a rigorous arbiter between candidate models. In the scientific method, Occam's razor is not considered an irrefutable principle of logic or a scientific result; the preference for simplicity in the scientific method is based on the falsifiability criterion. For each accepted explanation of a phenomenon, there may be an extremely large, perhaps even incomprehensible, number of possible and more complex alternatives, because one can always burden failing explanations with ad hoc hypotheses to prevent them from being falsified; therefore, simpler theories are preferable to more complex ones because they are more testable.
Occam's razor (also Ockham's razor; Latin: lex parsimoniae "law of parsimony") is a problem-solving principle attributed to William of Ockham (c. 1287–1347), who was an English Franciscan friar, scholastic philosopher, and theologian. His principle states that among competing hypotheses, the one with the fewest assumptions should be selected.
In science, Occam's razor is used as a heuristic guide in the development of theoretical models, rather than as a rigorous arbiter between candidate models. In the scientific method, Occam's razor is not considered an irrefutable principle of logic or a scientific result; the preference for simplicity in the scientific method is based on the falsifiability criterion. For each accepted explanation of a phenomenon, there may be an extremely large, perhaps even incomprehensible, number of possible and more complex alternatives, because one can always burden failing explanations with ad hoc hypotheses to prevent them from being falsified; therefore, simpler theories are preferable to more complex ones because they are more testable.
There are many excuses for divorce. There are not as many reasons for divorce.
Marriage is a covenant relationship. A man and a woman covenant with God to be husband and wife for life. When the covenant is broken it is first broken with God. Marriage is not always easy but the walk of a Christian is not always easy.
When anything is loved above God it is a problem. A man will not cheat on his wife and a man will not abuse his wife if he loves and serves the Lord Jesus above all else.
Divorce is a heart problem. Divorce is a problem when Christians wish to remarry. The problem is that their hearts remain hard and cold toward God and seek only to gratify themselves.
For the cause of Christ
Roger
Marriage is a covenant relationship. A man and a woman covenant with God to be husband and wife for life. When the covenant is broken it is first broken with God. Marriage is not always easy but the walk of a Christian is not always easy.
When anything is loved above God it is a problem. A man will not cheat on his wife and a man will not abuse his wife if he loves and serves the Lord Jesus above all else.
Divorce is a heart problem. Divorce is a problem when Christians wish to remarry. The problem is that their hearts remain hard and cold toward God and seek only to gratify themselves.
For the cause of Christ
Roger