I know this isn't so much for those with financial security or a good job and a 401k. It's more for us who have never really had that but have lived more hand to mouth - either all of our lives or more recently, through circumstances where we lost a job with "bennies" or became fairly destitute from some other cause.
Then you mean this thread is for the more blessed among us: those us us who've had to lean on God hard in rough times. I'm actually thankful that God has brought me along on the road that he has. I see so many Christians in two income families, having all they want and need, good careers, kids who get everything they want, great marriages, and I realize how little they get to experience God in their abundance, and how little we have in common in our relationship with God.
Some of my most cherished days are when I had three dollars in my wallet on payday and Friday nights were spent sitting in front of the TV with my wife and kids watching Full House with a 25¢ bag of microwave popcorn. I'm convinced that it's in scarceness that we experience God most keenly. It seems most Christians in the US aren't at that place. The abundance they count as a blessing from God may well be the exact thing that is keeping them from experiencing him fully.
I talk with others a lot about trust for provision no matter what it looks like currently. And mostly, I am strong in this myself. But I feel I am in danger of disqualification because after I teach trust to others, I have got into a funk over it early this morning.
One thing I've learned: Never fret and ruminate over a potential threat at 3:00 in the morning. Seriously. Things never look good at that hour of the day. Go back to sleep and sort it out in the clearness of daylight.
Because I really would like some financial security, even though I KNOW He has done the very best thing for me and my growth of trust in Him and His promises.
So I KNOW all of these things and I STILL got into a funk and a struggle this morning.
Nothing wrong with seeking financial smarts and doing what is fitting. I've learned to look at what the desire for better is doing inside of me: If it's producing anxiety, I'm functioning in my own self, not in God, and it will eventually bring distress and not succeed the way I'd hoped. If I have peace and calmness then I know I'm doing it for a good and godly and right purpose and God will keep me safe in it.
There is some sort of...line, a dividing line? and I'm standing right on it instead of on one side or the other. Because I waver back and forth. I've gotten pretty good at recognizing when I'm kicking sand around with my foot and trying to cover up that line to go with the worlds wisdom instead of trust.
Peace is the guide for the Christian. That's the line. Don't make financial decisions that produce anxiety and are motivated by disabling fear. If that means doing nothing, even though doing nothing looks 'not smart' from the world's point of view, you should still do nothing. Wait for God's open door. And trust him in the meantime, no matter what it looks like may happen. It will be better in the long run.
And at the same time I'm desiring a stockpile and a small place of my own, I'm also deeply grateful that He hasn't given these things to me in order to grow my trust.
And even better than that, it has taught you how to truly experience Him in peace and joy. The peace and joy few Christians seem to experience because they have to much stuff to keep their hearts artificially full.
I guess what really hit me hard this morning is...a deep and profound...weariness over this struggle that never quite ceases.
That tells you right there this concern is not from God.
So even just what has helped to make you firmer would maybe help me. I'm weary of it.
I can just say that I've learned to not cave into the push to do something just because you feel like you have to do something. Wait for God. He shows up in the form of peace and open doors. Until then, sit tight and cast the anxiety on him.
