You don't even believe that yourself.
I understand what you mean, from our perspective in our lives we "do" stuff, we make choices and to an extent I agree and understand what you mean, but even in my personal walk God made it VERY clear I did nothing. I was at the end of my rope in life, I was at a place where I didn't even want to live anymore, my 2 sons are the only reason I didn't help death along. I wasn't raised in the church or anything like that, then after growing up as wild as you can imagine my first son was born. At this point I now could not still claim atheism, after seeing life come into the world I knew there was something more. My wife was saved not to terribly long after Kris was born and slowly I was attracted to this Jesus guy. I said the magic prayer, and was even dunked under water, but did NOT know Him, was still the same exact person I always was.
Life went on, and was going real good, had another son with my high school girlfriend, now wife, a good job, everything the world tells us we want and is important. I was just basking in all my accomplishment the day I was in a motorcycle wreck, I woke up two and a half weeks later with no function in my right arm. This led to a 2 year downward spiral of me want to kill myself every 5 minutes of every day. I was at the end of my rope with nowhere to go, I wasn't seeking God, if I had ever believed in Him I definitely didn't at this point, and this was when I hit my knees. I didn't say "Jesus help me", or "God I'm ready now", I thought I knew what all that "Christian God stuff" was about. I was stuck here in the real world broken with no way to fix it, and fantasy God land wasn't going to help. I hit my knees and said "I can't do this anymore, I can't do this anymore, I can't do this anymore, world you win, I lose, and I QUIT!!".
I woke up the next day lighter and went to work, I didn't even notice anything until my lunch break at work, I realized "I haven't thought about killing myself all day". to me this was like the most profound thing ever, I was in awe, and I'm not sure how to explain it but in this moment I knew two things, first I knew that whatever happen to make me feel better was from God, second I knew Jesus was His son. I then went and grabbed a bible for the first time and started reading and quickly came to the conclusion I had been born again. It was all God, and I did nothing at all to merit it. I understand that what happen the day I hit my knees was God granting me repentance, to know that "my way" fails and to turn from it letting that old man die, but it is all God I can take no credit nor do I want any, I just want to proclaim His gospel in unimaginable gratitude for our great God. Praise Jesus mighty name, and all glory to Him.
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