Oh Lord, I must be bored. Read at your own risk.

[this-iswhoiam]

Yeah, so I'm gonna just...ramble right now. Because I have nothing better to do? Naw, there's plenty I could do, I just don't feel like it I guess. A lot on my mind so I better get it out. Put my life on display. Well, part of it anyway.
I always feel like I care too much. But I can't help it. I mean, it just happens. It must be how I'm wired. My mind goes crazy and I can get stuck thinking about the same thing for way too long. Hopefully I'll learn to control that over time. I think I will, with God's help of course.
One thing that's been driving me nuts? Guys. Ugh. Okay, I'm gonna be real. You judge me, well, God's gonna judge you! Just sayin'. Lol. Anyway...I can't seem to understand what guys want when they're talking to me. Do you actually like me, or just want to be friends? Are you playing games? Are you holding back? I mean, mystery is fine but when I get mixed signals my poor brain cannot handle all the confusion. Kinda makes me wanna scream. And of course, when it comes to how I feel, there's so much I wanna say. So much he might not know. Oh the irony! This always happens.
See I know what kind of guy I'd like. A lot of people know it. And I'll find or see the ones who fit it. But they're often out of reach.
Then bam, here's someone who's definitely not that type and...wait....*gasp* what is this...I feel...no....it can't be....say it isn't so...now he's the main one on my mind. I must be losin' it. Right? I can't possibly like someone who isn't the kind I've been persistently insisting is totally what I'm pretty much solely attracted to.
I wish I didn't think about guys so much. It makes me feel like, well, I'm boy-crazy. But really I'm not. I'd honestly just rather have that one person who I can finally say "this is the guy for me." Search: over! Man what a relief that day will be. Meanwhile...
The dilemma: I'm scared. Ha. I don't want him to know I feel this way, unless I know he could possibly feel the same. And, well, I kinda thought he might. Sometimes it seems like it, sometimes...I don't know. If he's holding back, he's doing a great job. I know I'm definitely holding back. I mean, sure, I give hints here and there. Dunno if he picks up on them seriously, but they're there. Heck, for all I know, he might already think it, even just a little. I guess I'm just afraid of being completely wrong, and that there is no way he could ever like me like that. Even if I kinda feel like he might. So, I've gotta conceal this till I know for sure. Otherwise I fear my heart's gonna break. Again. For the millionth time. Lord knows half the time I end up breaking my own heart with my ridiculous assumptions.

Thank God for His healing power, though. I know He can get me through everything I face. <3

 

[rocking4christ]

tip number one *coming from someone who has struggled with obsessive compulsive thoughts for much of life* Try not to think about the opposite sex and worry if they like you or not. To start things out right, we must first start out with God, and giving Him ALL our attention and affection. Matthew 6:23 "But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you."-KJV. What this verse is saying is give all your focus, give EVERYTHING to God, then He will give everything unto you! Less on the worries of life! Give it over to the Lord! Less on the world! More of God! when that happens my friend, then everything else WILL fall into the right place

 

[rocking4christ]

*more to add* LOL my perfect woman, my fiance, wasn't the type i was originally attracted to! Our desires mislead us you know? Instead let God give you what you NEED who is RIGHT for you! Not who's genetically better fit for your physical (fleshly) desire

anyways, hope some of this helps out!

God bless and take care!

Daniel

 

[brokenclay]

Hello this-iswhoiam please check out the family forum and prayer request forums. You will see some brokenhearted husbands and wives. Satan sneaks into relationships when people hide their problems until after they are married. You have the advantage of dating and getting to know how mature he is, not just how goodlooking he is. Think about the freedom you have to persue a carreer. Or travel with Christian sisters. Or serve your Lord in a mission for one year. You look healthy and happy. If you have no past issues in your own life then don't throw that away by being careless with boys or men. You are a treasure. Keep yourself pure for Jesus. And like Jennifer Hudson says,"Expect Amazing.". Praying for God to give you wisdom and the strength to do what's right.