how do you cope.

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llm30

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#1
im a 31 year old mom of three young children. my husband left us for another. not only did he leave myself and the kids. his eighty four year old father is here. i feel abandoned and betrade. i feel like i've being slap in the face for three years. pray for me and my family.
 
Feb 27, 2007
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#2
There are no words. I pray Heavenly Father that you will give your daughter the strength to go on. Lord please help her with the knowledge that she is a beautiful child of God and that there is in no way any way that this situation is her fault. Lord the sin of her husband is upon her I pray that you will give her a strength to deal with her Children with love and compassion towards them and their Grandfather even though most days this will be hard as bitterness and anger try to make a home in her. Lord please help her to forgive him ONLY for her own sake and the sake of her Children. Lord this horrible sinner of a man isnt just the sin and the love she has for him has not gone away. Dear lord I pray that if there is no way for reconciliation that you will fill her with a resolve and the Love to treat him with respect even though he doesnt deserve it and forge a friendship with him ONLY for their Children. Lord you will deal with him in his vanity and need for something new and I just know that your daughter will receive your blessings as all things work together for good to those who love the Lord and are called according to his good purpose. I know Lord that alot of these things seem imposible to fathom being able to do... Love those who persecute us, how is this possible. Lord I know she feels so abandoned and so low like a failure in alot of ways... Lord I just pray that you will wrap your loving arms around her and gently lift her back into the realization that she is a beautiful person worthy of a man who will not hurt her in this way. Lord help this family to survive this joyfully without bitterness and anger. In Jesus name... AMEN.

OK your guy he was a jerk. But you are not a jerk so please dont become one in your bitterness towards him... (I hope you understand what i'm saying) If in your anger to their situation you voice negative things about him in the presence of your children, this will effect your relationship with them. Let him have access to the children, dont use them against him to punish him for his sin... (boy oh boy i could sure see wanting to do that!!!!) Anyway I in no way can relate to your situation, i've just seen the devistation its caused for a good friend of mine who fell into bitterness. Have a friend or councellor who you trust to vent all your anger but please try to always one up him... be the better man. Its going to take an inner strength that is beyond you, so ask the Lord for help. Lord give me strength to respond in love. eieiei, I dont envy you your next few months. Take time to cry, its ok to be sad, but then dont fall into depression, cause if you do, he wins. Do one thing every day just for you... that you love. get out of the house (if you dont already work out of the house) see friends and focus on things other than sadness and discussing your pain. Hope i've been an ounce of help and know that you will be in my prayers. God Bless you, God bless your beautiful children & God Bless your relationship with his father and mostly God bless your relationship with yourself and how you feel about yourself.

Your sister in Christ. Marcia.
 
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Slepsog4

Guest
#3
You need to get control of your emotions and become proactive. You must be strong for your children.

1. Get an attorney

2. Sue him for all he has or will ever have in both alimony and child support.
--NOTE: you and your children were his dependents and financially he is responsible.
--You should not be forced to be the bread winner (he isn't dead).

3. Tell him to come get his daddy or off to the nursing home he goes.
 
C

christiancanadian

Guest
#4
im a 31 year old mom of three young children. my husband left us for another. not only did he leave myself and the kids. his eighty four year old father is here. i feel abandoned and betrade. i feel like i've being slap in the face for three years. pray for me and my family.

I'm very sorry to hear this. I will say a prayer for you.
 
Jan 31, 2009
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You need to get control of your emotions and become proactive. You must be strong for your children.

1. Get an attorney

2. Sue him for all he has or will ever have in both alimony and child support.
--NOTE: you and your children were his dependents and financially he is responsible.
--You should not be forced to be the bread winner (he isn't dead).

3. Tell him to come get his daddy or off to the nursing home he goes.
Very nice Christian advice dude, NOT
 
Jan 31, 2009
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I want to help you through this. I can't say that I know how you feel that I am right there with you , but I can tell you what helps me through my hurt and storms and I believe will also help you first of all we need to realize that God didn't do this to you, man did . second God would and even asks in His word that we forgive people who sin against us Mt 6:14For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:Mt 6:15But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

Now I know this may be the last thing you can do, but keep the thought that you will have to forgive This man at some point in order not to hinder your walk with God. your kids are watching you and you can teach them a very important lesson in forgiveness as well in Love or in hatred and in vengeance. Keep in mind that He is also their Father what you say around them about him could drive them away from you.
Now God understands if we, in our storms, ask why God, although you may not get an answer right away. But I have learned over the storms in my life, that to ask Him where He is at, is a lack of faith. Because He has already promised you that He would never leave you nor forsake you, so no matter how dark the storm we need to look for the Light for He is with you. stay focused on the Light. here is what we need to pray Help me Lord. don't let this storm destory me. help me stay focused on you, to walk in the Spirit and not the flesh, help me to stay true to you, help me be the light to my kids that they and others may see your Light through me. help me endure this storm, help me with the love and forgiveness that You would have me pour out on those who have hurt me (not only your husband but also the other person involved) Lord as you have promised from your Word please be my strength in these times of my trouble.

there is a lady at our Church just went through the same thing except the father-in-law part , she made a prayer request right after she found out , that she knew the lady personally and that she knew that she wasn't saved and her prayer request was for the other lady's salvation, only to have the other lady to find out that she had been praying for her, she laughed at her for praying for her. but currently The lady from our Church and her husband are trying to patch things up and get back together. then as the first response to this thread said remember


Ro 8:28And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
the last hurt from a loved one that I went through God said that the one that comes out of the storm with love on their hearts come out on His side. unconditional loves is what He pours out on us and unconditional love is what He expects to be poured out from us to others
 
Feb 27, 2007
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#7
You need to get control of your emotions and become proactive. You must be strong for your children.

1. Get an attorney

2. Sue him for all he has or will ever have in both alimony and child support.
--NOTE: you and your children were his dependents and financially he is responsible.
--You should not be forced to be the bread winner (he isn't dead).

3. Tell him to come get his daddy or off to the nursing home he goes.
ummm are you a Christian? Yes I agree stand up for your rights, but they will know you are Christian by your Love. (words to a very cherished worship song )
 
D

DJB2034

Guest
#8
Slepsog actually gave very good advice... Christian does not equal wuss.
 
Feb 27, 2007
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#9
Sue him for all he has or will have is good advice?? Sorry, not following this. Yes she should seek legal advise and get reasonable alimony/child support. Maybe they can do it without a lawyer... has been known to happen, rare but true. Why feed the lawyers if you dont have to. If you have to though by all means.

Also, kicking out a senior citizen? I'm sorry but this is wrong on so many levels. What has our world come to when this is seen as sound advise. Take the jerk for everything and kick out the old guy. If he is truly a burdon and a problem then tell your husband to come get him. If, however; you love him and dont mind him there, include his keep in your settlement if he isnt paying his own way. I dont know your situation if you are renting or own your home or are you living in your fatherinlaw's home? anyway do what is in your heart to do, we just tried to give you some advice that wouldnt end in you steeped in anger and resentment with your children in the middle of it cause really you are better than that. The best revenge... live a better life than you had when he was with you. ie: take care of yourself first, pray, exercise & see your friends. God Bless you as you make the decisions that effect the rest of your life and impact the rest of your childrens lives.
 
A

Ancilla

Guest
#10
3. Tell him to come get his daddy or off to the nursing home he goes.
Wait a second, putting an elderly person in nursing care is NOT like sending a dog to the pound! Finding the right place is a time consuming process, and it's very expensive. If her father-in-law doesn't have enough money saved for such a thing (and if his savings was in the stock market, he's real trouble) and he needs lots of care, then where the heck is llm30 going to get that kind of money? I mean, I don't know what happens to elderly people who need care but don't have the money or the family to provide for them, but I know it's not as simple as dropping them off at the nearest nursing home and driving away.

But, you are right about the alimony and child support. I don't know about the laws in her state, but I heard that in Texas alimony is not the norm. My mother rants about how here in Canada, alimony only needs to last three years, which is not always enough if a woman's been out of the work force for 20 and is less than 20 years from retirement. Anyway, if llm30 can get it, she definity should get it. And I also wonder if her ex has legal responsiblity to his father. I'm not a lawyer so I don't know these things. But, lawyers take time and money, so we'll just have to pray that God provides, because I wouldn't be surprised if she's short on both.

Anyway, in answer to your question, llm30, "How do you cope?" I don't know. I can't imagine going through that kind of betrayel and coping with that while trying to provide for your family must take unimaginable strength. I'm just so glad that there are other Chrisitans on this thread offering prayer and encouragement and I pray that you'll find in person Christians who can offer you the same (and some practicle help, because that's something those of us in cyberspace can't do for you.)
 
Mar 11, 2009
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Peace be to you llm30
Its alright to feel angry.Try not to goto bed with that anger.
If ya need to talk or a hand with something email me [email protected]
Woundering what your kids ages are and names?
There is lotz to look forward to sister.
Do not fear help it on the way.




Love a friend in God
 

grace

Senior Member
Sep 8, 2006
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#12
llm30.....My heart goes out to you. I have been through the very same thing. I am currently 36, with three small children. I know it is NOT an easy road to walk...but you do make it!
I suggest that no matter what, you stay true to yourself and the Lord. The one thing that I was going to be sure of was to not be bullied into what the *world* thought I should do. He (my husband) had taken so much from me already I was going to be darned if he was going to take my faith, values character and integrity as well. I was devoted to my marriage, and contested the divorce (that he filed for). NOONE understood.....BUT, that did not matter....I was the one that had to live with the outcome.
I will be praying for you.
Take care in Him.
 
H

hersecretrefuge

Guest
#13
I am the daughter of my parents marriage that split apart and broke 4 years ago. My dad divorced my mom to become homosexual and move to wisconsin with his new boyfriend. Even during the divorce, my mom went to florida with a friend and during that time my dad moved out and left me at 15 years old to fend for myself for a few days. The whole thing is a pretty low thing my dad is, but I encourage you ma'am do NOT LET THIS DIVORCE MAKE YOU BITTER AT ALL. DO NOT GET CAUGHT UP IN LIES THE ENEMY WILL THROW AT YOU TO TRY AND MAKE YOU BELIEVE. YOU NEED TO BE STRONG FOR YOUR CHILDRENS SAKE. I can stand in the gap for your kids....my dad left after a marriage of 20+ years and my mom gave in and stopped being a mother for me. She was just...there. Here I am 4 years later still going through things because of her lack of being a mother to me. Do not neglect your kids, they are going to become even more needy then ever before but make sure you constantly pray over them and keep pouring into them.

that probably doesnt help at all but I'll be praying for you. <3
 
J

juspekatzus

Guest
#14
My heart and prayers are with you. Saten knows his days are numbered, he is destroying and trying to destroy famillies every where he can. I am standing in agreement with you, God will though Jesus open the spiritual eyes of your husband and father of your children, I bind Saten from him and ask God to restore him back to his family. Please remember, all things are possible to those who believe! and we are in this world not of it, the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. The lord says it is by his spirit and so it is done
Christine
 
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italiansunset

Guest
#15
WOW!!!!!!!!!! It seems like we all get tested one way or another. I feel for you..I really do. PRAY! God is listening. He knows you better than you know yourself and will help you. When a door gets shut a window fly's open they say....The problem for most of us humans is WHEN! 31 and 3 kids and alone with his dad. I am 42 , alone and have 2 teens 14 and 17. If you would like a friend to talk to and share things with you can e-mail me or add me to your facebook Look up [email protected] and remind me of who you are in a message we can talk there to and you can then see me and my kids. Its nice to have friends online beyond just this. Its just an offer. I want you to know I was in a similar situation and it was tough, but things got better eventually. I don't know where you live, but I am in Canada. I will pray for you, especially because I can so feel your pain. Remember this.... God will NEVER leave you nor FORSAKE you... stay close to his side.I will be praying for you. You can message me anytime you wanna talk I check in every now and then.
 
M

Marajade619

Guest
#16
im a 31 year old mom of three young children. my husband left us for another. not only did he leave myself and the kids. his eighty four year old father is here. i feel abandoned and betrade. i feel like i've being slap in the face for three years. pray for me and my family.

God has a plan for you my love dont give up stay strong. God is moving him out because he wasnt good for you your children or his 84 year old father. You will find peace and come out on top. Your a Queen and God is moving your ex out so your King can take his place next to you. I am praying for you and your family

Your sister in Christ

God bless
 
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Marajade619

Guest
#17
I am the daughter of my parents marriage that split apart and broke 4 years ago. My dad divorced my mom to become homosexual and move to wisconsin with his new boyfriend. Even during the divorce, my mom went to florida with a friend and during that time my dad moved out and left me at 15 years old to fend for myself for a few days. The whole thing is a pretty low thing my dad is, but I encourage you ma'am do NOT LET THIS DIVORCE MAKE YOU BITTER AT ALL. DO NOT GET CAUGHT UP IN LIES THE ENEMY WILL THROW AT YOU TO TRY AND MAKE YOU BELIEVE. YOU NEED TO BE STRONG FOR YOUR CHILDRENS SAKE. I can stand in the gap for your kids....my dad left after a marriage of 20+ years and my mom gave in and stopped being a mother for me. She was just...there. Here I am 4 years later still going through things because of her lack of being a mother to me. Do not neglect your kids, they are going to become even more needy then ever before but make sure you constantly pray over them and keep pouring into them.

that probably doesnt help at all but I'll be praying for you. <3
WOW... your very articulate for your age. To be so young you have an awesome way of putting things

Godbless
 
Jan 31, 2009
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#18
Found some scriptures for you, what you or anyone else does with them is up to you all .



Jas 1:1
James, a servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ, to the twelve tribes which are scattered abroad, greeting.Jas 1:2My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations;Jas 1:3Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience.Jas 1:4But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.Jas 1:5If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.Jas 1:6But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed.Jas 1:7For let not that man think that he shall receive any thing of the Lord.Jas 1:8A double minded man is unstable in all his ways.

You are on the potter's wheel God is the Potter, let Him shape you so He can use You for His Glory. Count it a Joy I didn't say this but rather the Word of God said it, what will You do with it ?
 
A

Ancilla

Guest
#20
Seriously, last year my dad was helping me move and we checked into a hotel in the city where I went to college because that's where my storage locker was and it was really late at night and we'd driven from Ottawa, and then my dad came back from the check in desk saying that some guy had just given him a Christian music CD. Which is so cool because the Holy Spirit must have told that guy that my dad that he had a daughter (me) who'd gone a year without getting a new CD and I'd really like that kind of music. Isn't that so so cool????
 
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