why do christians hurt one another ? where is the love at?

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M

Mulehide

Guest
#21
#21
AgeofKnowledge said:
I empathize with your hurt. I too have been hurt deeply by other Christians in the body over the years. There are many reasons why people act the way they do which include they themself were mistreated and learned the behavior, a lack of Christian modeling or even a dysfunctional upbringing growing up, a lack of immaturity, a lack of empathy, not understanding how much God loves the people they hurt, they like the power and control, they have a sadististic streak, they lack self-control, etc... etc... etc... there are many reasons but the number of reasons are finite. There is not an infinite number of reasons.

Ask yourself are you letting them continue to hurt you? Are you in a codependent relationship with them? They can only hurt you to the extent you allow them to. I found that setting healthy boundaries with those I could tolerate that had this behavior worked and I simply renegotiated our relationship and held them accountable for their words and behavior. The ones that wouldn't respect my healthy boundaries either left or I left and they are no longer a problem with regards to my life. I then inventoried everything and gave it to the Lord. I forgave them and left it behind me. I poured out my glass of bitterness, hurt, and unforgiveness and filled it up with God Himself :). No more problems. :)

Just as an aside, correcting something in love (such as a false teaching or a negative behavior in someone you love) is not the same thing. You can love those in cults and out of love and a responsibility to scripture correct them while loving them deeply.

Seek out friends whose words and behavior are safe. That's my advice. Peace and God bless YOU!
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Thank you for posting this!
 
Y

yahweh_is4me

Guest
#24
#24
Kool_uday85 said:
check this out.. will make u feel better...

Positive & Encouraging K-LOVE - Positive Encouraging K-LOVE


it is Positive and encouraging ! :)
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Yeah I heard it before thank you .. i guess God has to take this .. I am just trying to get over a deep hurt that a christian did to me and it was someone who was stronger in the walk than me so I am just shock. but I have to lay it down ,,That person has to answer to God about this .. just have to watch my reaction Just hope Christ has more love than that person does ..
 
Y

yahweh_is4me

Guest
#25
#25
MaggieMye said:
The thing is this: People, Christian or not, DO what they know to do...they DO what has been done to them. The only thing that can set them free is Jesus and deliverance from the bondages that they suffer. We need to be able to stand back and look BEHIND a person that is acting less than Christ-like and see that the devil is right there, working in them and through them, trying to tear you down. DO NOT TAKE OFFENSE!! Consider the SOURCE of evil behavior. Doing so makes forgiveness so much easier.
It is always helpful to consider the pain of those that hurt us. They are ignorant of what they are doing. Jesus said..."Father, forgive them. They know not what they do!" We are to do likewise.

Maggie
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thank you so much for those words
 
K

Kool_uday85

Guest
#26
#26
Who hurt you? & How did they hurt you?
 
Y

yahweh_is4me

Guest
#27
#27
Kool_uday85 said:
Who hurt you? & How did they hurt you?
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Uday I can't tell you no name has to be named .. but ty for your concern you do show love thank you so much ...God bless you
 
B

BananaPie

Guest
#28
#28
giantone said:
Sometimes when Christians hurt other Christians, it isn't them hurting the other person as much as the other Christian easily being offended at something that wasn't wrong in the first place.
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Yes, key words here are one being "easily offended." When a person in a healthy relationship with the Cross of Christ, that person is by far not easily offended. ...wait till the 491st blow that day, then punch. :D

Now, if your husbands points a gun at you with the intent to murder you, then yes, that should hurt your heart; it hurts the saints as a whole too. Yet, again, the Cross and patience of Christ is there to remove even this kind of hurt, "for in Him we live and move and have our being."

If folks did not hurt us, how do we learn to "love our enemies?"
If Christian folks did not hurt us, how do we practice forgiveness? patience with one another?
If those we love the most did not hurt us, how do we excercise to "seek the things above where Jesus is?"

Focus on the Savior and you'll be surprised how much "leather" the Holy One has built in you! Thank you for posting the thread. I'm having a nice time reading it.
 
Y

yahweh_is4me

Guest
#29
#29
BananaPie said:
Yes, key words here are one being "easily offended." When a person in a healthy relationship with the Cross of Christ, that person is by far not easily offended. ...wait till the 491st blow that day, then punch. :D

Now, if your husbands points a gun at you with the intent to murder you, then yes, that should hurt your heart; it hurts the saints as a whole too. Yet, again, the Cross and patience of Christ is there to remove even this kind of hurt, "for in Him we live and move and have our being."

If folks did not hurt us, how do we learn to "love our enemies?"
If Christian folks did not hurt us, how do we practice forgiveness? patience with one another?
If those we love the most did not hurt us, how do we excercise to "seek the things above where Jesus is?"

Focus on the Savior and you'll be surprised how much "leather" the Holy One has built in you! Thank you for posting the thread. I'm having a nice time reading it.
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you are so right ..I am need to learn to forgive on this even though the person thinks they did nothing wrong nor do they care either I think that's the part that threw me I mean if this person is such a strong christian I am back to where is the love of Christ at .. but I am going to forgive and let go .. sooo very hard to do .. so thank you ...
 
M

mpaper345

Banned
#30
Feb 9, 2010
2,486
39
0
#30
Of course it is not the norm for Christians to do wrong to each other in a spiritual,but not all people who claim Christ is spiritual.

Love works no ill towards their neighbor;therefore love is the fulfilling of the law.

Love never hurts anyone,and anything not done with love is wrong.

We are living in the last days where people will be lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God,loving selfish and arrogance more than God,and that is why so many people who claim to be with Christ fight with each other and are derogatory to each other,because they are coming from the flesh and not the Spirit.

Not everyone that claims Christ is led by the Spirit.

A hypocrite will be someone who usually acts like their society and claims to be with Christ.

The more sinful a nation the more hypocritical the person will appear if they are hypocritical.

America is very sinful and very flesh oriented so the hypocrites will appear very hypocritical.

I have seen people who claim Christ that did not even seem like they claimed Christ,they were that bad.

I have seen a lot who did good quite a lot but had some flaws,but all sin is unrighteousness.

There is a lot of people who claim Christ but still hold unto some things of the flesh,in which the Bible says they have a form of godliness but they deny the power thereof;ever learning but never coming to the knowledge of the truth.They never come to the truth that they have to do good all the time led by the Spirit which is their power to overcome fleshy pleasures,in which they are lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God.

Christians are to always by loving towards each other,but we are at the end times so there will be a lot of hypocrites,who still want to hold unto some things of the flesh.

Matt
 
K

Kool_uday85

Guest
#31
#31
yahweh_is4me said:
Uday I can't tell you no name has to be named .. but ty for your concern you do show love thank you so much ...God bless you
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But unless you tell, nobody will be able to help you in specifics... they will keep saying what they feel according to their experiences which may or may not even be related to you to help you! the roots have to be dealt with to deal with a situation.. thats why I asked you!! You can say person X and person Y instead of giving out names.. and tell how they caused u hurt!!
 
Y

yahweh_is4me

Guest
#32
#32
mpaper345 said:
Of course it is not the norm for Christians to do wrong to each other in a spiritual,but not all people who claim Christ is spiritual.

Love works no ill towards their neighbor;therefore love is the fulfilling of the law.

Love never hurts anyone,and anything not done with love is wrong.

We are living in the last days where people will be lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God,loving selfish and arrogance more than God,and that is why so many people who claim to be with Christ fight with each other and are derogatory to each other,because they are coming from the flesh and not the Spirit.

Not everyone that claims Christ is led by the Spirit.

A hypocrite will be someone who usually acts like their society and claims to be with Christ.

The more sinful a nation the more hypocritical the person will appear if they are hypocritical.

America is very sinful and very flesh oriented so the hypocrites will appear very hypocritical.

I have seen people who claim Christ that did not even seem like they claimed Christ,they were that bad.

I have seen a lot who did good quite a lot but had some flaws,but all sin is unrighteousness.

There is a lot of people who claim Christ but still hold unto some things of the flesh,in which the Bible says they have a form of godliness but they deny the power thereof;ever learning but never coming to the knowledge of the truth.They never come to the truth that they have to do good all the time led by the Spirit which is their power to overcome fleshy pleasures,in which they are lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God.

Christians are to always by loving towards each other,but we are at the end times so there will be a lot of hypocrites,who still want to hold unto some things of the flesh.

Matt
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thank you so much Matt, I am still a new christian so this really threw me .. but this helps me out thanks God bless you
 
S

Shyness

Banned
#33
Aug 17, 2007
496
4
18
#33
I'm sorry for whoever hurt you. I'll pray for you and that everything gets better. God bless you.
 
Y

yahweh_is4me

Guest
#34
#34
Kool_uday85 said:
But unless you tell, nobody will be able to help you in specifics... they will keep saying what they feel according to their experiences which may or may not even be related to you to help you! the roots have to be dealt with to deal with a situation.. thats why I asked you!! You can say person X and person Y instead of giving out names.. and tell how they caused u hurt!!
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thank you I appreciate it let me think on it
 
P

paul1149

Guest
#35
#35
The problem we often have is expectations. People are Christian, so we expect them to act like it!

That seems reasonable, but the truth is that 1) some are just cultural Christians, and have never sincerely made a decision to accept Christ as Savior AND Lord, and 2) even among the Saved, being Born Again just gets you in the game. There's a whole lot of sanctification that has to occur, and it generally doesn't come automatically. For that reason, people in the Body are at various stages of their walk.

We're supposed to be employing love to work together to resolve conflict, to the glory of God, and when we do that our witness is really going to take off. But in my opinion, the church isn't doing a terribly good job of that lately. Jesus himself warned that in the end times offenses would multiply and the love of the many would wax cold. That's a warning that we must be on our guard not to let offenses deter us from following Christ wholeheartedly. I agree with what others have intimated here, that forgiveness is one thing and reconciliation another. Sometimes if people are not willing to deal with significant offenses we must walk away, but in love, not anger; in peace, not bitterness - for our own sake, if no one else's.

Be assured that Abba sees your hurt, and it pains Him that the Body is doing these things to itself even at this late date. But even in this present darkness he is working all things to the good for those who love Him, so rest in His arms and let nothing keep you from His healing love and grace.

bb,
p.
 
Y

yahweh_is4me

Guest
#36
#36
paul1149 said:
The problem we often have is expectations. People are Christian, so we expect them to act like it!

That seems reasonable, but the truth is that 1) some are just cultural Christians, and have never sincerely made a decision to accept Christ as Savior AND Lord, and 2) even among the Saved, being Born Again just gets you in the game. There's a whole lot of sanctification that has to occur, and it generally doesn't come automatically. For that reason, people in the Body are at various stages of their walk.

We're supposed to be employing love to work together to resolve conflict, to the glory of God, and when we do that our witness is really going to take off. But in my opinion, the church isn't doing a terribly good job of that lately. Jesus himself warned that in the end times offenses would multiply and the love of the many would wax cold. That's a warning that we must be on our guard not to let offenses deter us from following Christ wholeheartedly. I agree with what others have intimated here, that forgiveness is one thing and reconciliation another. Sometimes if people are not willing to deal with significant offenses we must walk away, but in love, not anger; in peace, not bitterness - for our own sake, if no one else's.

Be assured that Abba sees your hurt, and it pains Him that the Body is doing these things to itself even at this late date. But even in this present darkness he is working all things to the good for those who love Him, so rest in His arms and let nothing keep you from His healing love and grace.

bb,
p.
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wow thank you so much ... I am learning so much ... from this thread this person was someone who was helping me grow in my walk .. so yes I am learning about healing through Christ .. I am going to try not to let this hurt my walk .. so thank you
 
pickles

pickles

Senior Member
#37
Apr 20, 2009
14,479
182
63
#37
Im so sorry youve been hurt. It is hard to understand.
A few years ago someone that I believed would never hurt me , broke my heart. I struggled with this for some time.
Then Jesus helped me to realize again that we can only know perfect love in Him. All of us are weak, perfection is what we seek, yet scripture speaks to how we will sin.
Consider this, Peter, who knew Jesus face to face ,and up front and personal, still denyed Jesus three times when Jesus was being persicuted.
And Peter loved Jesus with all he could be.
For reasons that make no sence ,all will fail at times, but the good news is that we can always look to Jesus to heal our hurts.
Jesus forgave all because of his love for us,It is by His grace that we learn to love and forgive.
It is through His example that we learn to love and forgive as well.
We cannot change what another dose, but we can change in Jesus our own actions.
The seed of love begins with one act of love in Jesus.
Hugs and God bless, pickles
 
I

iraasuup

Guest
#38
#38
In reference to the title of this thread :

I'll answer that question, just as soon as you put a dollar in 'the end a sentence in a preposition' jar!

Sorry, you know I had to say that...
 
B

Buddee

Guest
#39
#39
The choice to be hurt and to stay hurt is yours.

Choose.
 
L

lighthousejohn

Guest
#40
#40
yahweh_is4me said:
OK I am throwing this out there why do Christians hurt one another ? why can't people just treat one another with love the way Christ does ? I just don't get it . if any of you have any answers because its giving me allot of confusion .... and Yes I have been hurt by someone who is a christian just wondered if that's the norm ? so any information on this would be helpful thank you ....
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Many "christians" have a self righteous attitude towards others that they deem as less worthy. This attitude stems from many different sources. The one I encountered most recently was from the wife of a large donor to the church. She felt that her husbands donation record gave her the right to dictate programs and staff activities. She was rude and demanding in her approach to people who were less wealthy than her husband.

You can be assured that God knows the attitudes of these people and will hold them accountable. He some times intervenes directly as he did in this womans case. Her husband lost over 90% of his wealth in the Madow fraud. She was reduced to using the food progam and the clothes locker at our church. Fortunately, this lesson in humility and the grace of the people in the church changed her attitude.

We need to look beyond the hurt done by others and ask God to reveal what causes them to be so hurtful. We also need to love those who spitefully use us in Jesus name. Let the burning coals of our love in Christ have it's effect.

In Christ,
John
 
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