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Thread: why do christians hurt one another ? where is the love at?

  1. #1
    yahweh_is4me
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    Default why do christians hurt one another ? where is the love at?

    OK I am throwing this out there why do Christians hurt one another ? why can't people just treat one another with love the way Christ does ? I just don't get it . if any of you have any answers because its giving me allot of confusion .... and Yes I have been hurt by someone who is a christian just wondered if that's the norm ? so any information on this would be helpful thank you ....

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    Senior Member Crypto's Avatar
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    Default Re: why do christians hurt one another ? where is the love at?

    Many are hearers of the Lord and not doers. It is the norm because many if not most Christians have no clue about Christian love. The church nowadays is filled with snobbery and divisiveness and not agape love. It's pretty bad. But thankfully we have an example in Christ that we can press after and seek to obtain. And if others hurt you, remember Jesus hasn't and forgive. And aim to be the kind of loving Christian Jesus wants you to be.

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    Default Re: why do christians hurt one another ? where is the love at?

    The thing is this: People, Christian or not, DO what they know to do...they DO what has been done to them. The only thing that can set them free is Jesus and deliverance from the bondages that they suffer. We need to be able to stand back and look BEHIND a person that is acting less than Christ-like and see that the devil is right there, working in them and through them, trying to tear you down. DO NOT TAKE OFFENSE!! Consider the SOURCE of evil behavior. Doing so makes forgiveness so much easier.
    It is always helpful to consider the pain of those that hurt us. They are ignorant of what they are doing. Jesus said..."Father, forgive them. They know not what they do!" We are to do likewise.

    Maggie

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    Senior Member resurrection33's Avatar
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    Default Re: why do christians hurt one another ? where is the love at?

    Quote Originally Posted by yahweh_is4me View Post
    OK I am throwing this out there why do Christians hurt one another ? why can't people just treat one another with love the way Christ does ? I just don't get it . if any of you have any answers because its giving me allot of confusion .... and Yes I have been hurt by someone who is a christian just wondered if that's the norm ? so any information on this would be helpful thank you ....
    I think one of the biggest sources of pain is prideful behavior.

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    yahweh_is4me
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    Default Re: why do christians hurt one another ? where is the love at?

    Quote Originally Posted by resurrection33 View Post
    I think one of the biggest sources of pain is prideful behavior.
    ? care to explain

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    Default Re: why do christians hurt one another ? where is the love at?

    How people did to Jesus they will do to us. People attack me all the time. It is my job to forgive and pray for them and to be nice and love them.

    There are times if they won't learn you must separate yourself from them. You are not to be walked on by others.

  7. #7
    yahweh_is4me
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    Default Re: why do christians hurt one another ? where is the love at?

    Quote Originally Posted by loveschild View Post
    How people did to Jesus they will do to us. People attack me all the time. It is my job to forgive and pray for them and to be nice and love them.

    There are times if they won't learn you must separate yourself from them. You are not to be walked on by others.
    Thank you I agree I will not be walked on by others I just think its sad when someone who claimed to be a christian hurts another christian .. that's what I don't understand .. that is not what Christ love is all about, that's all I am saying.. I just want to know why is all .. but thank you.

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    Mulehide
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    Default Re: why do christians hurt one another ? where is the love at?

    Quote Originally Posted by yahweh_is4me View Post
    Thank you I agree I will not be walked on by others I just think its sad when someone who claimed to be a christian hurts another christian .. that's what I don't understand .. that is not what Christ love is all about, that's all I am saying.. I just want to know why is all .. but thank you.
    Even the best most Godly loving Christian is still just a sinner saved by grace. We still have a tendency to sin, which includes hurting other Christians. The more we surrender to and draw close to God, the less we will hurt others. And the more we surrender to and draw close to God, the more we can forgive and still love those who have hurt us.

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    Default Re: why do christians hurt one another ? where is the love at?

    Quote Originally Posted by yahweh_is4me View Post
    OK I am throwing this out there why do Christians hurt one another ? why can't people just treat one another with love the way Christ does ? I just don't get it . if any of you have any answers because its giving me allot of confusion .... and Yes I have been hurt by someone who is a christian just wondered if that's the norm ? so any information on this would be helpful thank you ....
    Yes, Love is the Key. However, I believe that many christians heap these high expectations on one another that always lead to disappointment because we just can't 'measure up'. I only have about 2 really close friends who I am comfortable with because we have a TRUST relationship. I know they won't go behind my back and gossip, I know they keep things confidential that I share with them. I know they value ME as a person. It is best to have quality friends than quantity. (like 500 facebook friends who don't even really know you) I too have been hurt many times in life by women who just can't keep their mouth shut. Close friends are a beautiful thing, but very hard to find. Remember what you want out of a friendship is what needs to go in it. You just move on, forgive and pray for someone who will love you for you!

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    Default Re: why do christians hurt one another ? where is the love at?

    Hurt people hurt people..for the most part people are very disfunctional, most dont realize the damage they do, and are just living in their own little world, some hurt others because they are hurting. We all need saving! Its only in the perfect world when we are perfected in the love of Christ that there will be no pain. But we get to be part of the process of restoration! how exciting, we get to become more like Him - as we learn what love is we do it, as we learn what hurts others we change, as we learn what grieves God our hearts are broken and we repent. Its easy to withdraw and judge when someone hurts us, but we have the power to focus on them instead of ourselves and go after their deliverance. Why do they do what they do? Why are they the way they are? Everybody hurts. Chase down that hurt and bring the delivering power of Jesus Christ to them. In love.
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    Default Re: why do christians hurt one another ? where is the love at?

    I empathize with your hurt. I too have been hurt deeply by other Christians in the body over the years. There are many reasons why people act the way they do which include they themself were mistreated and learned the behavior, a lack of Christian modeling or even a dysfunctional upbringing growing up, a lack of immaturity, a lack of empathy, not understanding how much God loves the people they hurt, they like the power and control, they have a sadististic streak, they lack self-control, etc... etc... etc... there are many reasons but the number of reasons are finite. There is not an infinite number of reasons.

    Ask yourself are you letting them continue to hurt you? Are you in a codependent relationship with them? They can only hurt you to the extent you allow them to. I found that setting healthy boundaries with those I could tolerate that had this behavior worked and I simply renegotiated our relationship and held them accountable for their words and behavior. The ones that wouldn't respect my healthy boundaries either left or I left and they are no longer a problem with regards to my life. I then inventoried everything and gave it to the Lord. I forgave them and left it behind me. I poured out my glass of bitterness, hurt, and unforgiveness and filled it up with God Himself . No more problems.

    Just as an aside, correcting something in love (such as a false teaching or a negative behavior in someone you love) is not the same thing. You can love those in cults and out of love and a responsibility to scripture correct them while loving them deeply.

    Seek out friends whose words and behavior are safe. That's my advice. Peace and God bless YOU!

  12. #12
    yahweh_is4me
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    Default Re: why do christians hurt one another ? where is the love at?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lifelike View Post
    Hurt people hurt people..for the most part people are very disfunctional, most dont realize the damage they do, and are just living in their own little world, some hurt others because they are hurting. We all need saving! Its only in the perfect world when we are perfected in the love of Christ that there will be no pain. But we get to be part of the process of restoration! how exciting, we get to become more like Him - as we learn what love is we do it, as we learn what hurts others we change, as we learn what grieves God our hearts are broken and we repent. Its easy to withdraw and judge when someone hurts us, but we have the power to focus on them instead of ourselves and go after their deliverance. Why do they do what they do? Why are they the way they are? Everybody hurts. Chase down that hurt and bring the delivering power of Jesus Christ to them. In love.
    Thank you so much for this , Yes I am having a hard time forgiving this person its this person views that they did nothing wrong and its like that don't care how they treat people if this person was not a christian then it would be a little easier .. but this friendship is beyond restoration there is no hope for that. there has been to much hurt.. But I am going to continue to see god I just needed some input is all from my brothers an sisters in Christ thank you.. God bless

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    Default Re: why do christians hurt one another ? where is the love at?

    Sometimes when Christians hurt other Christians, it isn't them hurting the other person as much as the other Christian easily being offended at something that wasn't wrong in the first place.

    Christians are human and sometimes lash out without a good enough reason except they were hurt or they need to hang on to some garbage even if it means being nasty to protect it. If you don't have anything to protect there is no reason to be nasty.

    One phrase I read in this discussion group is "why are we arguing, this doesn't affect salvation?" and some of it doesn't, but just because someone says it doesn't affect salvation doesn't mean it doesn't. Just because someone says anything doesn't make it true. I don't know but iv'e likely have shown too much restraint in not countering things that I think are horrible. There is a time to let people have it, Christians are not to lay down like rugs to have dirt tracked upon them.
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  14. #14
    yahweh_is4me
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    Default Re: why do christians hurt one another ? where is the love at?

    Quote Originally Posted by AgeofKnowledge View Post
    I empathize with your hurt. I too have been hurt deeply by other Christians in the body over the years. There are many reasons why people act the way they do which include they themself were mistreated and learned the behavior, a lack of Christian modeling or even a dysfunctional upbringing growing up, a lack of immaturity, a lack of empathy, not understanding how much God loves the people they hurt, they like the power and control, they have a sadististic streak, they lack self-control, etc... etc... etc... there are many reasons but the number of reasons are finite. There is not an infinite number of reasons.

    Ask yourself are you letting them continue to hurt you? Are you in a codependent relationship with them? They can only hurt you to the extent you allow them to. I found that setting healthy boundaries with those I could tolerate that had this behavior worked and I simply renegotiated our relationship and held them accountable for their words and behavior. The ones that wouldn't respect my healthy boundaries either left or I left and they are no longer a problem with regards to my life. I then inventoried everything and gave it to the Lord. I forgave them and left it behind me. I poured out my glass of bitterness, hurt, and unforgiveness and filled it up with God Himself . No more problems.

    Just as an aside, correcting something in love (such as a false teaching or a negative behavior in someone you love) is not the same thing. You can love those in cults and out of love and a responsibility to scripture correct them while loving them deeply.

    Seek out friends whose words and behavior are safe. That's my advice. Peace and God bless YOU!
    thank you ,you have given me something to think about ...

  15. #15
    yahweh_is4me
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    Default Re: why do christians hurt one another ? where is the love at?

    Quote Originally Posted by Mulehide View Post
    Even the best most Godly loving Christian is still just a sinner saved by grace. We still have a tendency to sin, which includes hurting other Christians. The more we surrender to and draw close to God, the less we will hurt others. And the more we surrender to and draw close to God, the more we can forgive and still love those who have hurt us.
    thank you ....

  16. #16
    gatta
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    Default Re: why do christians hurt one another ? where is the love at?

    I guess much can be said about people hurting one another. I think ultimately the most important thing to remember is that we are not perfect yet.

    And although something can be said in innocence to another, we don't know what the effect of those words are on them - for whatever reason: their frame of mind, maturity, upbringing, past abuse .. or whatever. I suppose we just have to remember that we should guard our words. They can hurt, even kill someone's faith.

    And for the benefit of those who hurt easily (yes, I am one of them), learn to forgive and put away (deal with) those feelings immediately. If left unattended, they tend to fester and causes a multitude of other problems along the way. Easier said than done, you would say. I speak from experience.

    Our Father who are in Heaven .....
    ... forgive us our transgressions as we forgive those who transgress against us.
    Amen

  17. #17
    yahweh_is4me
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    Default Re: why do christians hurt one another ? where is the love at?

    Quote Originally Posted by gatta View Post
    I guess much can be said about people hurting one another. I think ultimately the most important thing to remember is that we are not perfect yet.

    And although something can be said in innocence to another, we don't know what the effect of those words are on them - for whatever reason: their frame of mind, maturity, upbringing, past abuse .. or whatever. I suppose we just have to remember that we should guard our words. They can hurt, even kill someone's faith.

    And for the benefit of those who hurt easily (yes, I am one of them), learn to forgive and put away (deal with) those feelings immediately. If left unattended, they tend to fester and causes a multitude of other problems along the way. Easier said than done, you would say. I speak from experience.

    Our Father who are in Heaven .....
    ... forgive us our transgressions as we forgive those who transgress against us.
    Amen
    words and actions hurt I do agree
    Just having a hard time because it was a christian who suppose to be stronger in the walk is all.. thank you .. for your input ..

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    Default Re: why do christians hurt one another ? where is the love at?

    remember wheat and tares are in the Church. It is easy to be bias, and let our bias become our itching ears. We don't die to ourselves for the Body of Christ. We want to think that our cross to bare is outside of ourselves, but it is our flesh that is to be crucified. I am in no wise saying that I am perfect at this, God has been dealing with me in this area as well

  19. #19
    yahweh_is4me
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    Default Re: why do christians hurt one another ? where is the love at?

    Quote Originally Posted by Saved_by_grace View Post
    remember wheat and tares are in the Church. It is easy to be bias, and let our bias become our itching ears. We don't die to ourselves for the Body of Christ. We want to think that our cross to bare is outside of ourselves, but it is our flesh that is to be crucified. I am in no wise saying that I am perfect at this, God has been dealing with me in this area as well
    I know God is helping me through this hurt .. its a deep hurt but gods it

  20. #20
    Kool_uday85
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    Default Re: why do christians hurt one another ? where is the love at?

    who hurt u?

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