Does friendship between men and women exist?

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R

rocio

Guest
#1
#1
Hello everyone! I'm a little bit confused right now, because some days ago, a preacher basically said that friendship between men and women does not exist, that it's not possible, and that that kind of frienship it is only going to be possible when Crist reign on earth. And the preacher quoted this:
Zac 8:5 And the streets of the city shall be full of boys and girls playing in the streets thereof.

In my opinion, this is not right and the verse is out of context. But now that I'm thinking about this, I've found out that many of the guys I've thought were my friends have feelings about me.
 
resurrection33

resurrection33

Banned
#2
Dec 19, 2009
27,513
128
0
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#2
rocio said:
Hello everyone! I'm a little bit confused right now, because some days ago, a preacher basically said that friendship between men and women does not exist, that it's not possible, and that that kind of frienship it is only going to be possible when Crist reign on earth. And the preacher quoted this:
Zac 8:5 And the streets of the city shall be full of boys and girls playing in the streets thereof.

In my opinion, this is not right and the verse is out of context. But now that I'm thinking about this, I've found out that many of the guys I've thought were my friends have feelings about me.
Click to expand...
Mature men can be friends with mature women.
 
R

rauleetoe

Guest
#3
#3
rocio said:
Hello everyone! I'm a little bit confused right now, because some days ago, a preacher basically said that friendship between men and women does not exist, that it's not possible, and that that kind of frienship it is only going to be possible when Crist reign on earth. And the preacher quoted this:
Zac 8:5 And the streets of the city shall be full of boys and girls playing in the streets thereof.

In my opinion, this is not right and the verse is out of context. But now that I'm thinking about this, I've found out that many of the guys I've thought were my friends have feelings about me.
Click to expand...
Can it happen..yes..but honestly, it is a challenge. Not saying it cannot happen..because it can..but i will be honest..several of my 'friends' were also folks i may have thought/considered to be my girlfriend..for whatever reason they are not, then i decide maybe it is more profitable to love them in the Lord, help them..encourage them..and be just that friend, nothing more. I have had a few females i consider friends, though i feel at times some females are afraid to befriend a guy for these reasons..or you are their friend until they find a boyfriend/husband..then of course the friendship dies.
It can happen..but there are dynamics involved..
 
J

Jordache

Guest
#4
#4
It can be difficult, but it's possible. Some of my best friends are guys. Though the relationships are different.
 
R

rocio

Guest
#5
#5
Yes, it can be difficult, and I prefer having a boy as a friend, because they're so much more funny! :p
 
E

enochson

Guest
#6
#6
rocio said:
Hello everyone! I'm a little bit confused right now, because some days ago, a preacher basically said that friendship between men and women does not exist, that it's not possible, and that that kind of frienship it is only going to be possible when Crist reign on earth. And the preacher quoted this:
Zac 8:5 And the streets of the city shall be full of boys and girls playing in the streets thereof.

In my opinion, this is not right and the verse is out of context. But now that I'm thinking about this, I've found out that many of the guys I've thought were my friends have feelings about me.
Click to expand...
How can this been when the word say's that is niether male or female now? I think the preacher needs to read the book and get a clue. How can there be friendship when one or the other thinks they are better? This kind of thinking isn't part of the kingdom of god I read about.
 
C

chu_huifen

Guest
#7
#7
I think yes, we can have friendship between man and woman. The best friendship is based on Christ, give respect and honor as brother and sister in Christ. But I can't deny the fact that sometimes friendship between man and woman can become the lover too. For me, I'll choose to dating with my bestfriends with condition that he is mature and live in Christ too and the important is God's will to unite us one day, hehehe.. because we already know who the real we are, knowing characater and background each person, both of we is growing up together in Christ. For now, we still bestfriends and I don't have any feeling with him and vise versa, we have friendship and we spent almost our time in small community and yea it's interesting and I enjoy it so much :)
 
C

chellebee

Guest
#8
#8
yes it can happen it is hard and it does require morals and maturity. i personally see nothing wrong with it as long as both parties understand that it is a friendship and nothing more they have to be on the same terms with their relationship so no one gets hurt
 
S

shininglight

Guest
#9
#9
One of my best friends is a a woman
 
Nautilus

Nautilus

Senior Member
#10
Jun 29, 2012
6,488
53
48
#10
my friend group is split pretty evenily among guys and girls..perhaps you pastor cant handle but most normal mature people can.
 
Spartacus1122

Spartacus1122

Banned [Reason: insulting CC admin in previous pos
#11
Jun 9, 2012
276
1
0
#11
a preacher basically said that friendship between men and women does not exist
Click to expand...
That preacher must have some disturbing issues about the opposite sex.

Freud anyone? :D
 
K

kapayapaan

Guest
#12
#12
It is difficult though I cannot say that it's impossible. I have a group wherein we meet to talk about Jesus and the Bible. We also meet to do our ministry--that is going to communities and teaching about the word of God to the kids and the youth. Our group consist of men and women in their teens and early twenties. The group became very close for we often do see each other not only in doing ministries but also in doing recreational activities such as watching movies, going to malls and sports activities. Some has become so close that there weren't any limitations to the closeness anymore.

I think it started when we do our certain meetings wherein we totally open up to each other and be honest about what's going on in our life.It's suppose to be a meeting wherein we encourage each other with the word of God and our experiences. It is also a meeting to know the struggle of each other and how the group could help spiritually and physically. At that time when some girl faces a great deal of challenge and emotions were out of control, she misinterpret the comfort given of that of the opposite sex and vice versa. Intimate relationships sprouted like mushrooms. Out of nowhere the group that looked like brothers and sisters enjoying each others company with Christ has become a nesting ground for lovers. It is really a struggle because the work of the Lord has greatly been affected. Instead of focusing to the kids and the other youths that we are reaching out in the community, their eyes where fixed on pleasing their lover. I may say that it's not good anymore especially to the eyes of the people who have not known Christ yet.

Some of group that were also concerned with what's happening prayed to the Lord for guidance. Even though it was hard and some of them might get hurt, we held a meeting and faced the situation head on. We asked each other to commit solely to the work of the Lord. If a certain relationship with a certain person hinders it then he must choose to end it (the intimate relationship) or be not concern with the ministry anymore. However, it doesn't mean we won't concern ourselves with the person who refuses. A family is a family. We will continue to pray for that person and help him/her for as long as he/she allows us. I may say that it was one of the devil's schemes to divide us but the Lord didn't allow it.

The group is still together although some left but there were new ones that came. Certain limitations were placed. When one struggles with his/her personal concern (a problem or a sin to confess), if she's a girl then she must open up to her fellow sisters. It is also the same with guys. However, we don't totally close our doors to the opposite sex. We also ask each other's opinion but with certain limitations. We still do stuff together however we guard each others hearts like we really are brothers and sisters.

I don't know if this answers your question however I hope my experience helped.
 
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G

gcaro7l

Guest
#13
#13
yes it can be possible to have a real friendship with a (wo)man if we know how to handle our emotions..
 
P

pdidyking

Guest
#14
#14
No matter what, there will always be attraction from you or the other person. The only way for you to have a good guy friend is if he were gay. Think about it.
 
B

Beloved57

Guest
#15
#15
Not speaking from experience (as I'm single), but from observation, the best marriages are between two good friends, if not best friend. Like Enochson, said in Christ Jesus there is neither mlae nor female (Galatians 3:28).

From the way Paul talk about Phebe, I think they were good friends (Romans 16:1-2).
 
P

psychomom

Guest
#16
#16
Practically speaking, I'm not sure it's possible without one or the other becoming interested in something more, especially among the young and unattached.
There's always that search going on for "the one", and (just in my experience) someone usually winds up getting hurt/caring more than the other.

That said...I had a guy friend (we met when we were 11) who is still my friend, although I tend now to talk more to his wife! (because she's awesome!)
By the time we were 17 he wanted us to date, which would have been disastrous. :/ He is a believer, and, in fact, had a big impact on me in that area.
I love him like a brother, and my husband and I have done things socially with them. But I'm pretty sure my husband (and his wife) wouldn't like it were Paul (my school chum) and I to begin doing things alone together...!

So friends, sure! If mature, as has been wisely stated. But "close" buds...maybe not. Temptation can be powerful, and since we all have deceitful hearts, it's best to guard them in Christ.
My 2 cents, for what it's worth.
~ellie
 
pickles

pickles

Senior Member
#17
Apr 20, 2009
14,479
182
63
#17
Ive had friends of both sexes all my life, and have never had any problems with this.
Neither have my firends or their loved ones.
I guess this is because I do not see men or women, but just my family in Jesus.
My husband once told me that the reason for this is because of the big sign on my forhead that says, dont even think anything else!
I dont see it, but glad it is there. :)
Because I love my family in Jesus!

God bless
pickles
 
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