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Thread: Why is some sex before marriage considered evil, but not others?

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    Senior Member smithbr8's Avatar
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    Default Why is some sex before marriage considered evil, but not others?

    The most common case is that most people don't see rape as an evil sin of having sex outside of marriage. However, the Bible says ALL sex outside of marriage is a sin. Why does God condemn women who didn't have control over the situation? Rape is sex- therefore if raped before marriage, that woman must've sinned....right?

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    Senior Member Elizabeth619's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why is some sex before marriage considered evil, but not others?

    Quote Originally Posted by smithbr8 View Post
    The most common case is that most people don't see rape as an evil sin of having sex outside of marriage. However, the Bible says ALL sex outside of marriage is a sin. Why does God condemn women who didn't have control over the situation? Rape is sex- therefore if raped before marriage, that woman must've sinned....right?
    No. Someone forcing you to have sex without your consent does not mean you have sinned. The rapist however is in big trouble.

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    Senior Member smithbr8's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why is some sex before marriage considered evil, but not others?

    Quote Originally Posted by Elizabeth619 View Post
    No. Someone forcing you to have sex without your consent does not mean you have sinned. The rapist however is in big trouble.
    But why not? You did have sex. Even if it was forced upon you. We change God's wording though and say "Well, he meant to say only if given consent." But that's not what His Word says. It says "sex". doesn't rape fall into that category?

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    Senior Member Elizabeth619's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why is some sex before marriage considered evil, but not others?

    Fornication(which is the sexual sin) is the MUTUAL agreement between both parties. Rape is not mutual.

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    Senior Member smithbr8's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why is some sex before marriage considered evil, but not others?

    Quote Originally Posted by Elizabeth619 View Post
    Fornication(which is the sexual sin) is the MUTUAL agreement between both parties. Rape is not mutual.
    The Bible doesn't say "Fornication only". It says "sex" There is not mention that it has to be a mutual agreement

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    Senior Member smithbr8's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why is some sex before marriage considered evil, but not others?

    Quote Originally Posted by Elizabeth619 View Post
    Fornication(which is the sexual sin) is the MUTUAL agreement between both parties. Rape is not mutual.
    I just wanna make sure I'm following the Bible exactly as it says

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    Senior Member Elizabeth619's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why is some sex before marriage considered evil, but not others?

    Deuteronomy 22:25–26
    25 “But if in the open country a man meets a young woman who is betrothed, and the man seizes her and lies with her, then only the man who lay with her shall die. 26 But you shall do nothing to the young woman; she has committed no offense punishable by death.
    This passage clearly states that rape is punishable by death. Yet, the victim is still innocent in the eyes of the Lord.
    phil36, redemption and R0SE like this.

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    Senior Member Elizabeth619's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why is some sex before marriage considered evil, but not others?

    Quote Originally Posted by smithbr8 View Post
    I just wanna make sure I'm following the Bible exactly as it says
    Ask anything you want. Thats how you learn. No one should fault you for that.

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    Deceased Abiding's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why is some sex before marriage considered evil, but not others?

    Smith....God created you with a mind and expected you to be reasonable.
    The bible wasnt written to unreasonable people.

    Rape is violence not sex...it violates anothers body. Against their will.
    They have in noway sinned. Of coarse they were perpetrated by evil,
    but they didnt have sex. Nor were they evil...You know that.
    phil36 and Elizabeth619 like this.
    if what the bible says doesnt suit you, just start a thread and soon many will agree,
    this helps take the difficulty out of self deception alone

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    Senior Member Ugly's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why is some sex before marriage considered evil, but not others?

    Quote Originally Posted by smithbr8 View Post
    The most common case is that most people don't see rape as an evil sin of having sex outside of marriage. However, the Bible says ALL sex outside of marriage is a sin. Why does God condemn women who didn't have control over the situation? Rape is sex- therefore if raped before marriage, that woman must've sinned....right?
    I've told you this before, in other threads, more than once. It seems you should be able to adopt this concept by now. Its not always about actions, sometime its about intent. And the same applies here.
    R0SE likes this.
    "I really loved being with her. I never got tired of it" - my dad talking about my mom 17 years after her death


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    AdorableNoel
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    Default Re: Why is some sex before marriage considered evil, but not others?

    *working on being slow to anger* But..honestly your words pissed me off a bit.
    SEX is before marriage is selfish and greedy-snful. In rape where is the woman enjoying or wanting it? When did she choose to do it? God gives us choice, rape is forceful.. not by choice. Just putting this out there since I'm more comfortable with it now, I was raped. Rape like other things can lead to sin.
    Here's a situation. A 5 year old girl, raped. Did she sin? Did she even do anything? This doesn't just deal with girls either. Plently of boy & men are raped but can't say anything for even more reasons.
    Rape... is... like being lied to in a sense. Did you ask to be decieved... heck no. Were you the one who lied? Who sinned?
    Apparently you haven't dropped this subject, and I pray that God gives your heart knowleged so that you may have discernement over this and move on, instead of helping plant seeds of lies into people. Rape isn't sin. More questions? Message me, talk to a church member... no.. better yet, keep this subject between you and God. Sex, any kin d is between those two people (maybe law) and God
    God Bless you

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    Senior Member River_W's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why is some sex before marriage considered evil, but not others?

    Quote Originally Posted by smithbr8 View Post
    The most common case is that most people don't see rape as an evil sin of having sex outside of marriage. However, the Bible says ALL sex outside of marriage is a sin. Why does God condemn women who didn't have control over the situation? Rape is sex- therefore if raped before marriage, that woman must've sinned....right?
    Sinning is purposefully disobeying God's commands. Sinning involves choices, free will.
    Rape is non-consensual. The victim isn't having sex according to their own choice. S/he is a forced participant.

    Sin= intentional act against God. Getting raped= not intentional. Not intentional= not sin?

    I don't know of any Scripture to back this up, but it seems like correct reasoning to me...Hopefully it's helpful.

    In Christ,
    River
    Ugly likes this.

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    Default Re: Why is some sex before marriage considered evil, but not others?

    God bless you adorable noel.
    PopClick and psychomom like this.

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    Default Re: Why is some sex before marriage considered evil, but not others?

    Quote Originally Posted by smithbr8 View Post
    The most common case is that most people don't see rape as an evil sin of having sex outside of marriage. However, the Bible says ALL sex outside of marriage is a sin. Why does God condemn women who didn't have control over the situation? Rape is sex- therefore if raped before marriage, that woman must've sinned....right?
    Theres a law somewhere in exodus or one of the other books of the torah that says a woman is guilty of having sex outside marriage if she is attacked and raped doesnt scream for help when she can scream for help.
    radio killed the video star, how about that?

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    Default Re: Why is some sex before marriage considered evil, but not others?

    When we understand our Father and His law, we know that the basic law is to love God, the second is to love man. Every law God gives can be measured by this.

    Matthew 22: 35 to 40:
    35 And one of them, an expert in the law, asked a question to test Him: 36 “Teacher, which command in the law is the greatest?”
    37 He said to him, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. )38 This is the greatest and most important command.39 The second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself.40 All the Law and the Prophets depend on these two commands.”

    From this we know that the law that “the two shall become one” through sex stems from God’s love for us. A society where this is listened to is a happy, stable society with a family that can be depended on, where love flourishes. When it is broken there is much unhappiness that follows. In the case of rape, sin has happened and unhappiness follows. God wants goodness and happiness for us. God follows the law of love, and if you are hurt God comes to our defense.

    If there is guilty feelings, those feelings and that guilt can be taken to Christ who died for our sins and you can be wiped as clean as snow, like the old hymn says. It needs to be taken just once, then accept the forgiveness forever with faith.

    As for God completely forgiving us when we take our sins to Him with repentance. Scripture often tells us so. Mark 3:28 is a favorite of mine.
    28 I assure you: People will be forgiven for all sins and whatever blasphemies( they may blaspheme.

    When Jesus was scolded for what they considered working on he Sabbath because he plucked wheat when they were hungry even though their rules said he shouldn’t Jesus explained that the Sabbath was made for man. So is “the two shall become one” principle. God does not want us to suffer because of a law, that goes against the law of love. In the same way, God has compassion for anyone who is raped.

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    Senior Member resurrection33's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why is some sex before marriage considered evil, but not others?

    Quote Originally Posted by smithbr8 View Post
    The most common case is that most people don't see rape as an evil sin of having sex outside of marriage. However, the Bible says ALL sex outside of marriage is a sin. Why does God condemn women who didn't have control over the situation? Rape is sex- therefore if raped before marriage, that woman must've sinned....right?
    All sex before marriage is a sin, but that has nothing to do with being raped. You have not sinned if you have been raped. Just the opposite—you are the victim of someone else’s sin.

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    Default Re: Why is some sex before marriage considered evil, but not others?

    Quote Originally Posted by smithbr8 View Post
    But why not? You did have sex. Even if it was forced upon you. We change God's wording though and say "Well, he meant to say only if given consent." But that's not what His Word says. It says "sex". doesn't rape fall into that category?
    This seems like it's leaning more towards trying to twist the Bible, the way Satan does (like in Luke 4:1-14). I appologize if this isn't true, but you seem to be insisting that being raped is a sin, which is as absurd of an idea that being robbed is somehow the victim breaking the 8th commandment.

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    Senior Member smithbr8's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why is some sex before marriage considered evil, but not others?

    Quote Originally Posted by megaman125 View Post
    This seems like it's leaning more towards trying to twist the Bible, the way Satan does (like in Luke 4:1-14). I appologize if this isn't true, but you seem to be insisting that being raped is a sin, which is as absurd of an idea that being robbed is somehow the victim breaking the 8th commandment.
    No not at all the same because in the being robbed scenario, the person was not robbing the other person at the same time. In an instance of rape- the girl is still having sex with the man, it's just not consentual. I am not trying to twist the words, however the Bible says NO sex, but rape is still sex. It's just forced sex, right?

    btw- I myself was raped, I'm just trying to figure out the Bible's official stance on this.

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    Senior Member River_W's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why is some sex before marriage considered evil, but not others?

    Quote Originally Posted by smithbr8 View Post
    No not at all the same because in the being robbed scenario, the person was not robbing the other person at the same time. In an instance of rape- the girl is still having sex with the man, it's just not consentual. I am not trying to twist the words, however the Bible says NO sex, but rape is still sex. It's just forced sex, right?

    btw- I myself was raped, I'm just trying to figure out the Bible's official stance on this.
    Here's something that I found. Please follow the link, because I don't want to type the whole answer out...It explains the Deuteronomy and Exodus verses.

    http://www.gotquestions.org/Deuteron...ry-rapist.html

    In Christ,
    River

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    Senior Member duewell's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why is some sex before marriage considered evil, but not others?

    if i were raped by a man i would not consider myself homosexual. being a victim of a crime does not compel complicity in the crime. rape is a crime of dominance and control. sex is the means used to commit the crime. saying a rape victim has had premarital/homosexual sex and has sinned according to the bible is just a word game of a non believer mocking the teachings of the bible.

    to say we are changing Gods word is an argument that cannot be made by someone who doesn't understand Gods word. do you really think the actions of another person can damn you to hell? do you really think being the victim of a crime will damn you to hell? you just want to be sure you are following the bible exactly as it says, i got news for you, we cant do that. if it was possible to follow the bible perfectly on our own, we would not have needed a redeemer in the first place. it is our lack of ability in following the word of God that Jesus died for. i suggest you stop reading old testament law and finding clever legal arguments through wordplay. you do not discredit the bible, you only discredit yourself.

    duewell
    mark 4v11-13
    megaman125 likes this.

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