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Thread: i have a problem

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    Senior Member carey's Avatar
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    Default i have a problem

    We (me & my husband) have formed a tentative friendship with a younger couple, they come over to our house almost everyday, and whenever they come by they give hints that they need food, or just outright ask, now i don't have a problem with giving to someone in need, and in the beginning we gave alot, but i do not like being used by someone, i am a christian not a doormat, my husband says we should continue giving, but i have a problem with it, when should you stop giving??

  2. #2
    xino
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    Default Re: i have a problem

    Jesus to Peter- "feed my sheep", "take care of my sheep", "look after my sheep"

    Matthew 25:35 ESV
    For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me,

    Proverbs 28:27 ESV
    Whoever gives to the poor will not want, but he who hides his eyes will get many a curse.

    Luke 3:11 ESV
    And he answered them, “Whoever has two tunics is to share with him who has none, and whoever has food is to do likewise.

    James 2:14-18 ESV
    What good is it, my brothers, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can that faith save him? If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and filled,” without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that? So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead. But someone will say, “You have faith and I have works.” Show me your faith apart from your works, and I will show you my faith by my works.

    Romans 12:20 ESV
    To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.”

    Proverbs 14:31 ESV
    Whoever oppresses a poor man insults his Maker, but he who is generous to the needy honors him.

    Proverbs 31:20 ESV
    She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy.

    1 John 3:17-18 ESV
    But if anyone has the world's goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God's love abide in him? Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.





    if you do good to others...you are DOING it for the Lord!
    The whole purpose of living on Earth is to do love and show love like Jesus showed us love.
    "If any one wants to come after me, they must first deny themselves..."
    meaning you need to put yourself second and God/others first!


    I mean these couples are coming to your house...that IS THE opportunity to feed them the REAL food/the read BREAD. Bread of Life which is Jesus.
    Each time they come, talk to them about Jesus! Help them get saved not help them fill their belly and end up in hell.

    Me personally I want someone to come to my house so I can feed them, but no can't:/ And then you have a chance.


    In fact I was going to my sister and a guy saw me and asked if I had £1 because he hadn't eaten. I gave him £1.
    Next time about last week, he saw me again and asked for £1. I said no that the only food I can give him is Jesus, the bible. But he didn't want it.
    Sorry but I made the right decision. ALl the guy cares about is his belly. Why should I help him send himself to hell when I can save him, treat him like my brother.
    The fact is, if he had said yes, I would have bought him food while teaching him the bible, but he cares about himself and said no.



    Again!
    35‘For I was hungry, and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me something to drink; I was a stranger, and you invited Me in; 36naked, and you clothed Me; I was sick, and you visited Me; I was in prison, and you came to Me.’ 37“Then the righteous will answer Him, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry, and feed You, or thirsty, and give You something to drink? 38‘And when did we see You a stranger, and invite You in, or naked, and clothe You? 39‘When did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?’ 40“The King will answer and say to them, ‘Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.’
    Last edited by xino; August 28th, 2012 at 11:10 AM.
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    Senior Member JaumeJ's Avatar
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    Default Re: i have a problem

    You bring the following teaching to mind. You may want to go to it and read before and after it. God bless you. You two are doing the Lord's work I believe.

    Luk 6:28 Bless them that curse you, and pray for them which despitefully use you. (Great teachings Xino!)
    ozell likes this.
    From the Mouth of our Lord, Jesus Christ, or do you call Him Yeshua?
    Mat 7:1 Judge not, that ye be not judged.


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    Default Re: i have a problem

    According to Paul, to whom only was given the Gospel of Christ by the LORD (Rom-Phil), one must work in order to eat; therefore, it is my opinion that you judge them by their works, that is, determine whether or not they are doing all they can to provide for their own needs, before you sacrifice of your own to fulfill their lack. Certainly, according to what 'religion' requires, which is to give of yourself and your belongings (even money) to the needy, most particularly, the fatherless and the widows (pure religion-James), one should always be willing to help the needy; yet, according to Jesus, one should not cast one's pearls before swine, for they will suck you dry if they can. But in all things Trust in the Lord (His Word), and in His Spirit which guides us.
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    Senior Member GreenNnice's Avatar
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    Default Re: i have a problem

    The Lord leads, care.

    I've entertained houseguests that were from street, I'm single but, yeah, I have, and, they've even stayed with me a few days. There reward for being with me, whether they liked it or not, was hearing about The Lord, as He leads me, of course. I didn't force-feed them 'God,' so to speak, just He's a part of me, in me, rather, and, He is all-consuming in my conversation. The Lord leads Yes, these three words I say quite often to anyone I speak with, faith/belief, stranger or not does not matter.

    Anyway, one person kept talking about this person named 'Smitty,' outloud to himself as I took him.in one day. He spoke to this person a lot of The time, sometimes violently speaking, too. He spoke to me, too, care.

    Anyway, after 3 days of feeding him.and taking him with me on my errands, I decided to take him.to my church. I wanted to begin to see The Lord work in His temple, pun intended. But, yes, I'm AOG, btw, so, things went great first half hour singing but then when preacher began speaking this homeless man with me sprung up and left the sanctuary and The building, now , a. nd left building. He was talking out loud now about 'Smitty' violently again, but this time.uncontrollably. I tried to.tell him that Satan was seeing how good God was and was reacting to God's call but i could say nothing to.change his id .so, not my choice, i 27 now, btw, and he walked away, talking to self, cursing 'Smitty' too
    Last edited by GreenNnice; August 28th, 2012 at 11:42 AM.
    Without God, we have nothing. With Him, we have everything we ever need, and, more.

    Is compassion compassion at all if it's not based on the Truth ?

    The Holy Spirit leads ALL believers lives, wants to. Are you letting Him lead yours ?

    God bless your days !

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    Default Re: i have a problem

    the best thing i think you can do is teach them how to ask God for their every needs, take that as an opportunity to evangelize... cause if you do this

    either of the two things will happen [this is just my presumption, cause this situation you are in happened also to us and this is what we did]

    1. is that they will refrain in asking/ giving hints on you for food, because they know they have a God to lean on

    Jeremiah 17:5 Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who depends on flesh for his strength and whose heart turns away from the LORD.

    Psa 37:25 I have been young, and now am old, yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken or his children begging for bread.

    2. they will refrain asking/ giving hints on you for food, because they are annoyed that you always include God every time you give them.

    i hope this helps.

    P.S.

    are the young couple christians? 'cause if they are they will certainly understand
    Proverbs 16:9 The mind of a man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.

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    Senior Member JaumeJ's Avatar
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    Default Re: i have a problem

    Quote Originally Posted by GreenNnice View Post
    The Lord leads, care.

    I've entertained houseguests that were from street, I'm single but, yeah, I have, and, they've even stayed with me a few days. There reward for being with me, whether they liked it or not, was hearing about The Lord, as He leads me, of course. I didn't force-feed them 'God,' so to speak, just He's a part of me, in me, rather, and, He is all-consuming in my conversation. The Lord leads Yes, these three words I say quite often to anyone I speak with, faith/belief, stranger or not does not matter.

    Anyway, one person kept talking about this person named 'Smitty,' outloud to himself as I took him.in one day. He spoke to this person a lot of The time, sometimes violently speaking, too. He spoke to me, too, care.

    Anyway, after 3 days of feeding him.and taking him with me on my errands, I decided to take him.to my church. I wanted to begin to see The Lord work in His temple, pun intended. But, yes, I'm AOG, btw, so, things went great first half hour singing but then when preacher began speaking this homeless man with me sprung up and left the sanctuary and The building, now , a. nd left building. He was talking out loud now about 'Smitty' violently again, but this time.uncontrollably. I tried to.tell him that Satan was seeing how good God was and was reacting to God's call but i could say nothing to.change his id .so, not my choice, i 27 now, btw, and he walked away, talking to self, cursing 'Smitty' too
    That is wonderful, but remember in this world to be harmless as a dove but clever as a serpent. Be careful always. I know you trust the Lord. Yahweh, God, bless you and watch over you always in your works, amen.............what is AOG? I will google it. Wonderful work! googling...Assembly of God! Wonderful family........
    From the Mouth of our Lord, Jesus Christ, or do you call Him Yeshua?
    Mat 7:1 Judge not, that ye be not judged.


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    Senior Member simplyme_bekah's Avatar
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    Default Re: i have a problem

    We are soooooo private with our personal space. It is a place where we go to get away from the world so we are not so open to letting anyone into it. Its the one place you can totally relax and not have anyone expect anything of you. Its home. We all need that so I do not think there is anything wrong with keeping them separate. Maybe agree to meet with new friends that you don't really know anything about at a park (ect) from now on? Might help you from running into this issue again.
    Pray about it for sure. The Holy Spirit is really good about letting your spirit know when something is wrong. Maybe you feeling this way is his way of trying to tell you something. I would start talking about Jesus to them. I find that if they are not such good people and are out to use you or take you for granted they either accept Jesus or they run from the mention of him. So either way he wins.

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    Default Re: i have a problem

    give a man a fish and he will eat for a day, teach them to fish and they will eat for life.

    help them find jobs or learn to manage their money better instead of just food. perhaps the want ads, local food bank brochures, etc

    coming over every day is too much, ask them to limit visits to once a week or ask them to pray or do a bible study with you

    or have them write encouraging christian letters to prisoners in jail or some other ministry, itstead of taking all the time teach them the joy of giving.
    Last edited by Ariel82; August 28th, 2012 at 08:21 PM.
    John 10:v 28 And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand

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    Default Re: i have a problem

    Quote Originally Posted by carey View Post
    We (me & my husband) have formed a tentative friendship with a younger couple, they come over to our house almost everyday, and whenever they come by they give hints that they need food, or just outright ask, now i don't have a problem with giving to someone in need, and in the beginning we gave alot, but i do not like being used by someone, i am a christian not a doormat, my husband says we should continue giving, but i have a problem with it, when should you stop giving??
    it's irrelevant whether they are christians or not. the question is are they hungry?
    approx 50 million americans live in poverty.


    is it just food they are asking for?
    do they eat it with you at your home or take it away?
    do they have children they are feeding?
    have you been to their home?


    by "being used by someone" do you mean they are scamming you?
    its possible they could be scamming you, but the op doesn't provide enough information for anyone to say, carey.

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    Default Re: i have a problem

    Should you continue giving?
    It should be entirely between you two and the Father.

    The breastplate is one of discernment, not judgment.
    The urim and the thummin, the black and white stones, the "verdict"...
    Does the priest choose the stone blindly, letting the Father control the outcome?
    Or does he choose based on the righteous discernment granted to him?
    Or does he do whichever is appropriate, based on his careful and humble reasoning?
    Nobody knows but himself and YHWH, but he can certainly feel which stone is which inside that pouch!
    A most delicate responsibility.

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    Default Re: i have a problem

    It won't benefit them in the long run to continue providing for them. At some point, it's disrespectful of them to continue asking. Maybe you should openly address this with them, see if you can help them in any way to be able to provide for themselves.
    Bookends likes this.


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    Default Re: i have a problem

    Quote Originally Posted by carey View Post
    We (me & my husband) have formed a tentative friendship with a younger couple, they come over to our house almost everyday, and whenever they come by they give hints that they need food, or just outright ask, now i don't have a problem with giving to someone in need, and in the beginning we gave alot, but i do not like being used by someone, i am a christian not a doormat, my husband says we should continue giving, but i have a problem with it, when should you stop giving??

    Romans 14:1-3,5 (KJV)
    Him that is weak in the faith receive ye, but not to doubtful disputations. [2] For one believeth that he may eat all things: another, who is weak, eateth herbs. [3] Let not him that eateth despise him that eateth not; and let not him which eateth not judge him that eateth: for God hath received him. [5] One man esteemeth one day above another: another esteemeth every day alike . Let every man be fully persuaded in his own mind.

    James 1:8 (KJV)
    A double minded man is unstable in all his ways.

    Make up your mind and do it

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    Default Re: i have a problem

    Quote Originally Posted by carey View Post
    We (me & my husband) have formed a tentative friendship with a younger couple, they come over to our house almost everyday, and whenever they come by they give hints that they need food, or just outright ask, now i don't have a problem with giving to someone in need, and in the beginning we gave alot, but i do not like being used by someone, i am a christian not a doormat, my husband says we should continue giving, but i have a problem with it, when should you stop giving??
    Teach them the word of God, verses like this one here

    1 Timothy 5:8 (KJV)
    But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.

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    Default Re: i have a problem

    Do they have a job? If not can they work ? Why do you have to give so much ? Do you have chors around the house that needs to be done??

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    Default Re: i have a problem

    Mark 10:21 (KJV)
    Then Jesus beholding him loved him, and said unto him, One thing thou lackest: go thy way, sell whatsoever thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come, take up the cross, and follow me.

    Give to The poor

    It don't say take care of the poor for the rest of there life

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    Default Re: i have a problem

    Jesus also said if you don't work you don't eat

  18. #18
    ed12
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    Default Re: i have a problem

    Hi guys.
    They can't ask unless Jesus lets them. Jesus knows what is going on. When the lesson is over He will send them away. Just trust in Him.
    love in Jesus
    ed12

  19. #19
    c61443017
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    Default Re: i have a problem

    I agree there should be a stopping point. They might be taking advantage. Here is what you do. Go online and google Food Stamps, How to Budget your money, and any other advice you would like to look up. Write down these tips and next time they stop by, tell them in a nice way that more than once you felt the need to help them and God pressed on your heart to show them where to get help. If they say they don't have a computer, give them directions to library.




    Quote Originally Posted by carey View Post
    We (me & my husband) have formed a tentative friendship with a younger couple, they come over to our house almost everyday, and whenever they come by they give hints that they need food, or just outright ask, now i don't have a problem with giving to someone in need, and in the beginning we gave alot, but i do not like being used by someone, i am a christian not a doormat, my husband says we should continue giving, but i have a problem with it, when should you stop giving??

  20. #20
    ed12
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    Default Re: i have a problem

    Quote Originally Posted by carey View Post
    We (me & my husband) have formed a tentative friendship with a younger couple, they come over to our house almost everyday, and whenever they come by they give hints that they need food, or just outright ask, now i don't have a problem with giving to someone in need, and in the beginning we gave alot, but i do not like being used by someone, i am a christian not a doormat, my husband says we should continue giving, but i have a problem with it, when should you stop giving??
    Hi carey,
    I have posted previously but this also struck me. Notice what has happened. This incident is driving a wedge between you and your husband. You are now seeking like opinions to strengthen your viewpoint in opposition to your husband. Do you think this is the course of action Jesus would want?
    Please consider carefully. Remember God IS love. Remember His eye is on you. If He is for you what can happen that is against His will. Please trust in His love for you.

    love in Jesus
    ed12
    moment_of_faith likes this.

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