How to approach people who have bitterness towards "Christians"?

[caw252]

I don't know where to post this thread. I simply want to ask, how do you become "the salt and light of the world" in front of people who are made bitter towards Christianity because of the Christians themselves?

I have a friend (aged 32) born and raised in a Catholic family. But since his mom "converted" from Catholic to Charismatic Protestant when he was a child, life in his family turned upside down. She took everything in the Bible literally, to the extent that she doesn't listen to anybody else but "Jesus," hence her continuous fights with her husband (and kids). She spends more time in the church and doing evangelism, as if she didn't know that serving the family is also a God'-given mission; pretty much she left the family second to her "Christianity."

Two years ago, he came to me saying that he finally got down on his knees and prayed after I snapped at him a couple weeks before then, "Aren't you afraid of God?" He started going to church with me, but then after several months he got occupied and when I asked him, he said he still visited church but now with his dad to the Catholic church (which wasn't a big deal for me because both churches worship the same God).

This year, I realised he hasn't been going to church for a long while. I still tried to incorporate God's message for him whenever appropriate. But then, just recently his trusted uncle who ran his store wanted to quit the job. That was a big blow to my friend because he doesn't want to trust the store to an outsider. And when he asked the uncle why he wants to quit, the answer was: "Because God wants me to serve full time in the ministry." Just like that, and my friend was stunned and simply asked me, "If God tells you to go full-time in a ministry, would you just leave everything behind?" I said, "Yes, but not abruptly because I can't be a blessing in my new territory if I leave the previous territory as a nuisance."

I approached to him, saying that I'd pray for him and that things will be alright. Asked him to also go to my church for an encouragement prayer, but he replied, "I'm just not in the mood to go to church now."

He is now very bitter about Christians (who made up Christianity), to the extent that he sometimes make a joke about it. I think now he's in a borderline between believing there's God, and believing there's no God. He keeps saying things like, "So if God is good and taking care of us, why disasters still happen? Why people experience horrible death? etc etc"

So, yes, back to my question: How do you approach this kind of a person to walk on God's path (again)? -- FYI, he believes in God and he used to be quite active in both Catholic and Protestant church in his younger age. Yet I don't think he has ever had a spiritual experience (which I have, and I've been trying to share that with him but I know he just can't understand, like... "So you believe that was God's work, and not because of this and that?").

Thanks a lot and God bless.

 

[4enlightment]

I don't know where to post this thread. I simply want to ask, how do you become "the salt and light of the world" in front of people who are made bitter towards Christianity because of the Christians themselves?

I have a friend (aged 32) born and raised in a Catholic family. But since his mom "converted" from Catholic to Charismatic Protestant when he was a child, life in his family turned upside down. She took everything in the Bible literally, to the extent that she doesn't listen to anybody else but "Jesus," hence her continuous fights with her husband (and kids). She spends more time in the church and doing evangelism, as if she didn't know that serving the family is also a God'-given mission; pretty much she left the family second to her "Christianity."

Two years ago, he came to me saying that he finally got down on his knees and prayed after I snapped at him a couple weeks before then, "Aren't you afraid of God?" He started going to church with me, but then after several months he got occupied and when I asked him, he said he still visited church but now with his dad to the Catholic church (which wasn't a big deal for me because both churches worship the same God).

This year, I realised he hasn't been going to church for a long while. I still tried to incorporate God's message for him whenever appropriate. But then, just recently his trusted uncle who ran his store wanted to quit the job. That was a big blow to my friend because he doesn't want to trust the store to an outsider. And when he asked the uncle why he wants to quit, the answer was: "Because God wants me to serve full time in the ministry." Just like that, and my friend was stunned and simply asked me, "If God tells you to go full-time in a ministry, would you just leave everything behind?" I said, "Yes, but not abruptly because I can't be a blessing in my new territory if I leave the previous territory as a nuisance."

I approached to him, saying that I'd pray for him and that things will be alright. Asked him to also go to my church for an encouragement prayer, but he replied, "I'm just not in the mood to go to church now."

He is now very bitter about Christians (who made up Christianity), to the extent that he sometimes make a joke about it. I think now he's in a borderline between believing there's God, and believing there's no God. He keeps saying things like, "So if God is good and taking care of us, why disasters still happen? Why people experience horrible death? etc etc"

So, yes, back to my question: How do you approach this kind of a person to walk on God's path (again)? -- FYI, he believes in God and he used to be quite active in both Catholic and Protestant church in his younger age. Yet I don't think he has ever had a spiritual experience (which I have, and I've been trying to share that with him but I know he just can't understand, like... "So you believe that was God's work, and not because of this and that?").

Thanks a lot and God bless.

Luke 8:13Those on the rocky ground are the ones who receive the word with joy when they hear it, but they have no root. They believe for a while, but in the time of testing they fall away.

Luke 22
31 “Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift all of you as wheat. 32 But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.”
33 But he replied, “Lord, I am ready to go with you to prison and to death.”
34 Jesus answered, “I tell you, Peter, before the rooster crows today, you will deny three times that you know me.”

Job 1:8
Then the Lord said to Satan, “Have you considered my servant Job? There is no one on earth like him; he is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil.”

Job 3:1 After this, Job opened his mouth and cursed the day of his birth.

Job 1:22In all this, Job did not sin by charging God with wrongdoing.

 

[Grandpa]

I would tell him that not everyone who says they are a Christian is really a Christian.

I would let him know that a real Christian would love and take care of their family at least as much as they try to help others.

The bible says that a person who doesn't care for their family is worse than an infidel.
1 Timothy 5:8

I would try to show this person who the Holy Spirit is and how a real Christian should have those same traits...

I would challenge this person to read the bible all the way through, Genesis to Revelation, and see if it doesn't change his life.

 

[OwenHeidenreich]

I don't know where to post this thread. I simply want to ask, how do you become "the salt and light of the world" in front of people who are made bitter towards Christianity because of the Christians themselves?

I have a friend (aged 32) born and raised in a Catholic family. But since his mom "converted" from Catholic to Charismatic Protestant when he was a child, life in his family turned upside down. She took everything in the Bible literally, to the extent that she doesn't listen to anybody else but "Jesus," hence her continuous fights with her husband (and kids). She spends more time in the church and doing evangelism, as if she didn't know that serving the family is also a God'-given mission; pretty much she left the family second to her "Christianity."

Two years ago, he came to me saying that he finally got down on his knees and prayed after I snapped at him a couple weeks before then, "Aren't you afraid of God?" He started going to church with me, but then after several months he got occupied and when I asked him, he said he still visited church but now with his dad to the Catholic church (which wasn't a big deal for me because both churches worship the same God).

This year, I realised he hasn't been going to church for a long while. I still tried to incorporate God's message for him whenever appropriate. But then, just recently his trusted uncle who ran his store wanted to quit the job. That was a big blow to my friend because he doesn't want to trust the store to an outsider. And when he asked the uncle why he wants to quit, the answer was: "Because God wants me to serve full time in the ministry." Just like that, and my friend was stunned and simply asked me, "If God tells you to go full-time in a ministry, would you just leave everything behind?" I said, "Yes, but not abruptly because I can't be a blessing in my new territory if I leave the previous territory as a nuisance."

I approached to him, saying that I'd pray for him and that things will be alright. Asked him to also go to my church for an encouragement prayer, but he replied, "I'm just not in the mood to go to church now."

He is now very bitter about Christians (who made up Christianity), to the extent that he sometimes make a joke about it. I think now he's in a borderline between believing there's God, and believing there's no God. He keeps saying things like, "So if God is good and taking care of us, why disasters still happen? Why people experience horrible death? etc etc"

So, yes, back to my question: How do you approach this kind of a person to walk on God's path (again)? -- FYI, he believes in God and he used to be quite active in both Catholic and Protestant church in his younger age. Yet I don't think he has ever had a spiritual experience (which I have, and I've been trying to share that with him but I know he just can't understand, like... "So you believe that was God's work, and not because of this and that?").

Thanks a lot and God bless.

How did Jesus do it?

Love.

don't attack him with Gods message and theology, God himself said it is foolishness to those who don't believe. you have to live like a christian.

ask yourself, why would he want what YOU have, if he can't see the Christ that lives in you?

 

[richie_2uk]

It would be great if you really prayed about it before you go witnessing. For all you know, that God has the right person or persons to witness and talk to. God sees your heart that you want to help, and that you want the people you care for to have the right God in there hearts. But People are people, and many are in wolves in sheep skins. So they tend to look all that on the outside, on the inside they are different. And I know God has his hands upon those type of people.

But all you can do is pray for them, and lead by example, and concentrate on your own journey with Jesus. If Jesus wants you to witness or to speak to people. then he will put them before you in his time. Focus on Jesus, read you bible and walk your journey with Jesus.

This day and age, you cant just approach people just like that. many don't want to know who God is, and don't want to be talking to people who do. Some can be violent, as Christianity is a hated and the most persecuted in the world. So you just have to be careful. But God is a good God. and abiding things in his time. the time will come when he will want you to talk to people. and believe me, that when you will see blessings like never before.

Pray for the people, lift them up to God. and Seek his will if he wants you to approach them or not.

 

[notuptome]

In the absence of a clear testimony of trusting Christ for salvation, I mean a real bible based testimony not some vague yeah I believe in Jesus testimony I would say to pray that this person gets truly born again. It sounds to me that we are looking a someone who has a religious knowledge but not a personal saving knowledge of Christ. The catholic church will feed him husks of traditions and superstitions but nothing of substance from Gods word. The pentacostal crowd will feed him lots of spooky spiritual stuff but again not much to lead him to Christ and even less to disciple him in Gods truth.
Treat him as unsaved because there is no evidence to the contrary. You might even dare to confront him with this thought. As long as one is comfortable in their sin they will never see any reason to change. Ask if there is any fruit of the Spirit in his life.

For the cause of Christ
Roger

 

[zone]

remind them the scripture says THEY KNOW THERE IS A GOD, and they know Who He is.

and He knows they know.

tell your friend to take his eternal destiny seriously and stop looking to imperfect human beings and look again at the ONLY way God has provided.

he'll come around.

 

[Angela53510]

If he criticizes Christians, tell him there are no perfect Christians, just those of us who are on a journey with Christ, and learning, growing, and yes, failing. Then we have to repent, get back up and try and follow Christ the way he would have us follow him.

He may know ABOUT the gospel, but that is not the same as knowing Jesus. Talk about relationship being different than religion. He has had a lot of religion, but presenting the person of Christ consistently, with love is probably the answer.

And don't give up! I know it took a lot of people sharing Christ with me before God saved me. God is the one who saves, we are just the messengers!

 

[KohenMatt]

I don't know where to post this thread. I simply want to ask, how do you become "the salt and light of the world" in front of people who are made bitter towards Christianity because of the Christians themselves?

God showed me that being salt and being light are 2 different looking things.
1) Salt is mixed in with something else, like meat. It changes the texture, the taste, the smell of it. It interacts with the meat and changes it to some degree. Application: There is a time and a place to interact with people, to try and affect them with our words or deeds. A time to work with them and attempt to elicit a change in them.
2) Light does not interact with anything. A light will do it's job no matter who is around. It could care less what you do, how many people are there. It just does what it is meant to do. Application: There is a time and a place to simply live as a good witness towards someone else, with no plans to engage with them about things. Just do what God has called you to do. Live how He has called you to live, regardless of who is there, or what they're doing.

Both applications can be very effective at the right time.. Perhaps it isn't the right time to try and convince your friend what what is truth or not. Maybe it is? Maybe its time to just live out your faith in your own life, and pray that it will be a good light for your friend. That's where the leading of the Holy Spirit comes in. It will give you guidance.

Maybe not the most definitive answer, but it has given me a great deal of enlightenment, hope and encouragement over the last year or so.

Blessings to you,
Matt

 

[RedTent]

I am in the family of God, Christ is my Savior and I worship and pray to my Father, the HS is with me. And if someone tells me how Christian they are, I watch them closely before I trust them. Lots of "Christians" say they are to hide their dishonesty. I have given my trust based on their statement that they were Christian too often. So if someone talks against Christians, I can understand it.

I have learned to watch others, not for what they say, but for the love they show for others, and for the contentment and joy they express, for I have found that a close walk with the Lord rings joy. By this I can know they are my brothers and sisters in Christ.

The church where I worship my Lord has a Dr. of theology minister. We have agreed that he and I disagree about what God is telling us, but we agree that Christ died for our sins and that we love each other in a biblical way. It is enough for both of us.

These things have absolutely nothing to do with the fact that God created us, we belong to Him, and God runs our universe. It also has nothing to do with that the church is God's house and we are to go there for God and do the best we can with anything we find not in tune with God.

We are not to base our worship of God on the church. Our worship comes first, and we express that in the church and go to learn his word.

You could explain this to your friend. And when he accepts Christ as his Savior, help him accept God's house without judging the people in it.

 

[carey]

First, understand your friend is hurting, second, stop forcing church on him, rather show him Christ. Pray with him, and answer all his questions with scripture. Kindly remind him what the Bible says. Don't show your frustration, be patient

 

[Cobus]

Caw, I have NO problem with your friend, if I may also "judge" who is the "biggest" Christian, it sounds like HE IS...


This is the problem with those that want to show love and Christ to him. He sees right through the IMPERFECT HUMANS... There is no Jesus in them.... If Jesus was in them he would have seen Jesus.... all he sees is antichrist.... not Christ. That is what I try to say,,,,, IF YOU SHOULD TRY TO SHOW CHRIST, it means there is no CHRIST.... Jesus did not TRY to be Jesus HE WAS JESUS! Same with born again Christians... they TRY NOTHING, they ARE ONE WITH GOD...


Your friend sees what GOD SHOWS him.... FAKE AND UNHOLY "holy".... My dad is 83 and he still cannot stand "Christians" but God's TRUTH PEOPLE are a different story..... these fake chrisitans is what made the word CHRISTIAN a swearword. Have you ever noticed how sparingly God used the word Christian in the Bible..... Tell your friend he sees more TRUTH than even you do. I am not worried about him, I worry about the imperfect humans.... God's people ARE NOT IMERFECT HUMANS, they are BORN OF GOD, and Jesus reincarnate.... They TRY nothing, they LIVE A GODLY LIFE... PERFECT.... Looks to me that your friend is close to God and close to that SEPERATION....


God seperates ALL HIS CHILDREN to be like Jesus.... Jesus said... IF I MAKE YOU FREE, YOU ARE FREE INDEED.. and this says Jesus even makes free of SIN.... 1 John 3: 5... And ye know that he was manifested to take away our sins; and in him is no sin. .... So do not be so doubtful about your friend, he walks where MANY walked that JEsus made free...

You see he already knows He needs Jesus to be set free, and Jesus is the one that shows him the FAKE JESUS in you all. The real one has NO SIN IN HIM.... The fake Jesus saves sinners to remain sinners, the real one TAKES AWAY THE SIN. Your friend alsready knows this.... God said the Holy Spirit will teach us ALL THINGS... also how to judge a righteouss judgement... Reproofing of sin, the knowledge of God's righteousness and JUDGMENT... ALL these things the Holy Spirit is teaching your friend... He did not settle for the ANTICHRIST (Fake Jesus), I thank God for that.

 

[caw252]

Thanks everyone for the response. It seems living as a testimony is still the best thing to do for now, while waiting for God's moment. I've known my friend since ever and I don't push theology and church to him. But he knows I go to church weekly and he knows I'm always happy to do a carpool to the church with anyone.

But one thing about him not wanting to go to church is not only about his bitterness towards Christianity. It's also because he feels too dirty to come to a holy church. Every time possible, I will slip a line about God's love: "No sin is ever too big for Him to forgive..." or "God loves you so much -- and frankly, He personally told me so," or the like. Yet I know he can't forgive himself about one "huge" sin (even God has forgiven him for it). So it's not like he doesn't realize of his sins -- he is overly aware of them that he feels not okay to come to the Holy God (and experiencing Christians who don't really live the Word of God just adds to it).

Just a slight clarification. The moment when I snapped at him about "Aren't you afraid of God?" was the time when he crossed the line and offended God. Prior to that, I think I'd been pretty patient in handling him. And this was not long after God told me to be a testimony to him and that God would lead me as in what to do and what to say.

Thanks to you all, I now find my courage and strength again to "give a salty taste" to his plain-tasted soul, and to become the light for his dark pathway through my way of living. (PS: Thanks Matt, such a great enlightenment about the "Salt" and "Light" of the world!)

Please pray that I will make him saltier, and not him making me plainer

Blessings,
D

 

[allaboutlove]

With someone who is bitter towards christians you cant approch them as a christian or else itll just bring up that bitterness your better off approching them as a friend who is a christian dont change yourself around him to fit in with him but dont try an push christianity towards him let him see God through your life an not your words.