A question about living with a boyfriend/girlfriend

[hospitalpharmacist]

I ask if there is something in the Bible regarding living with a boyfriend or a girlfriend before getting married. I know that having sex before marriage is a sin but what about if two persons live together but as their faith is strong, they decide not to have sex until marriage? Is it a sin either?

 

[reject-tech]

Not a sin.

Joseph and Mary were not married by either their day's or today's definition.

A loose bible translation uses the word married, but they were only "engaged"

 

[directline2iam]

I ask if there is something in the Bible regarding living with a boyfriend or a girlfriend before getting married. I know that having sex before marriage is a sin but what about if two persons live together but as their faith is strong, they decide not to have sex until marriage? Is it a sin either?

Aren't we sapose to flee temptation. I also causes people to gossip which is a sin possibly.

 

[duewell]

living with someone you are not having sexual relations with is not a sin.

"they led me to gossip by living together." is the most ridiculous justification to place blame on others for your own sinful gossip. trying to control other people in such a dishonest way is beyond reason to me. better check with me before you wake up and get out of bed today, any action you take could lead to gossip in others.......

duewell
mark 4 v 11-13

 

[Grace-Like-Rain]

If you are in love and intending to marry, you will be setting yourselves up for GREAT temptation.

 

[directline2iam]

living with someone you are not having sexual relations with is not a sin.

"they led me to gossip by living together." is the most ridiculous justification to place blame on others for your own sinful gossip. trying to control other people in such a dishonest way is beyond reason to me. better check with me before you wake up and get out of bed today, any action you take could lead to gossip in others.......

duewell
mark 4 v 11-13

If it's beyond reason to you, maybe you should check yourself God. And I didn't say living together was sin, I said we are to flee temptation, and if you don't understand that, read the story of Joseph and Potters wife. And it does cause gossip living together especially when people know you aren't married because any person who is Christian knows what temptation is about and so does God. That's why He gave us His Word to teach us how to live properly. You sound pretty liberal, well, God isn't.

 

[AvalonXQ]

You sound pretty liberal, well, God isn't.

Yes, He is - He has placed us under the Perfect Law of Liberty. We are free from the bondage of sin, and He is our Freedom.

 

[directline2iam]

Yes, He is - He has placed us under the Perfect Law of Liberty. We are free from the bondage of sin, and He is our Freedom.

You are totally taking that statement out of context.
No God isn't, He also points out it is a sin to put a stumbling block in front of others on which to trip over and could certainly mean as to cause someone to gossip.
Those that say they are not going to sin usually sin the most....common sense.

 

[Trax]

Not a sin.

Joseph and Mary were not married by either their day's or today's definition.

A loose bible translation uses the word married, but they were only "engaged"

They weren't living together until they got married.

 

[AvalonXQ]

No God isn't, He also points out it is a sin to put a stumbling block in front of others on which to trip over and could certainly mean as to cause someone to gossip.

There is not a single example in the Bible of someone causing someone else to gossip. The Bible condemns gossip and lays the fault squarely on the person doing the gossiping, not their victim.

Man looks at the outward appearance; God looks at the heart. Trying to use the "stumbling block" Scripture to stop people others from doing what the Lord permits but you don't like, is explicitly contrary to Christian teaching. See Romans 14.

 

[jahsoul]

There is not a single example in the Bible of someone causing someone else to gossip. The Bible condemns gossip and lays the fault squarely on the person doing the gossiping, not their victim.

Man looks at the outward appearance; God looks at the heart. Trying to use the "stumbling block" Scripture to stop people others from doing what the Lord permits but you don't like, is explicitly contrary to Christian teaching. See Romans 14.

I think directline is coming from Romans 14, specifically verse 16.

While God looks at the heart, we are to also let our actions not be spoken evil of. While it is not a sin for a boyfriend and girlfriend to live together, what reason do they have to live together? If they are at the point of living together, what is stopping them from getting married? We can't say finances, because they are choosing to live together? We can't say that they are not ready yet, because if they were not that deep into a relationship, they wouldn't be thinking about moving together? As believers, no matter how you may feel about it, sometimes it is just better to err on the side of caution.

 

[AvalonXQ]

While it is not a sin for a boyfriend and girlfriend to live together, what reason do they have to live together? If they are at the point of living together, what is stopping them from getting married? We can't say finances, because they are choosing to live together? We can't say that they are not ready yet, because if they were not that deep into a relationship, they wouldn't be thinking about moving together?

I don't get your logic here; finances are certainly a reason that two people who are dating and have been dating for a while might choose to move in together, even before marriage. Why do you consider that unreasonable?

 

[Grace-Like-Rain]

I don't get your logic here; finances are certainly a reason that two people who are dating and have been dating for a while might choose to move in together, even before marriage. Why do you consider that unreasonable?

If they are wanting to save money, and they like each other enough for the commitment of moving in together, then perhaps they should get married.

 

[directline2iam]

There is not a single example in the Bible of someone causing someone else to gossip. The Bible condemns gossip and lays the fault squarely on the person doing the gossiping, not their victim.

Man looks at the outward appearance; God looks at the heart. Trying to use the "stumbling block" Scripture to stop people others from doing what the Lord permits but you don't like, is explicitly contrary to Christian teaching. See Romans 14.

There is not a single example in the Bible of someone causing someone else to gossip [/QUOTE] Well I think there is a fine example of what I'm saying: Ruth 3:14 And she lay at his feet until the morning,.... In the same place where she first lay herself down:

and she rose up before one could know another, because of the darkness, as the Targum, it not being yet break of day:

and he said, let it not be known that a woman came into the floor, to whom he spoke these words is not said, perhaps to Ruth, whom he might call to arise so early as she did, before one could know another, and distinguish a man from a woman; and so sent her away, and bid her be cautious, as much as in her lay, that it might not be known she had been there; for though they were both conscious of their purity and chastity, yet it became them to be careful of their good name, and to prevent scandal upon them, or hinder the nearer kinsman from doing his part, who might refuse upon hearing that Boaz and Ruth had been together; or this was said to his young men, as the Targum adds, charging them to let no one know of it; which is not so likely: it is the sense of some Jewish writers (a), that Boaz said this in his heart, in an ejaculatory prayer to God, entreating that affair might be a secret, that it might not be known that a woman had been in the floor that night, lest the name of God should be blasphemed, and he and Ruth be wrongfully reproached.

 

[jahsoul]

I don't get your logic here; finances are certainly a reason that two people who are dating and have been dating for a while might choose to move in together, even before marriage. Why do you consider that unreasonable?

I should have been clearer. Some people say that they can't afford the added cost of having a husband or wife, and sometimes use that as reasons to not get married. Well, we can't say that here they are at the point of living together. But that goes back to my first point; what are the reasons that a dating couple have for living together?

The thing about our freedom is Christ is we should always be aware of what we do because other are still watch our action, and in some situations, it will be a stumbling block to those weak in the faith.

 

[Huckleberry]

I ask if there is something in the Bible regarding living with a boyfriend or a girlfriend before getting married. I know that having sex before marriage is a sin but what about if two persons live together but as their faith is strong, they decide not to have sex until marriage? Is it a sin either?

Based on the kitty picture and pink font, I'll assume you're the girlfriend?

Aside from the temptation of it all, and the fact that scripture instructs us to abstain from anything that even appears evil, consider what this would do to your testimony. How would you effectively witness to anyone? When they find out that you're "shacked up" with a man, it won't matter a hill of beans to them if you're fornicating or not. All they'll think is what a crock Christianity is, and why would they want to associate themselves with such hypocrisy. I recommend that you guard your testimony carefully so that you can be an effective soul-winner. Why not just get married right away? What's the hold up?

 

[just-me]

I ask if there is something in the Bible regarding living with a boyfriend or a girlfriend before getting married. I know that having sex before marriage is a sin but what about if two persons live together but as their faith is strong, they decide not to have sex until marriage? Is it a sin either?

Romans 14:21(CJB) What is good is not to eat meat or drink wine or do anything that causes your brother to stumble.

1 Thessalonians 5:22 (KJV) Abstain from all appearance of evil.

Mark 9:42 (CJB) "Whoever ensnares one of these little ones who trust me -- it would be better for him to have a millstone hung around his neck and be thrown in the sea.

If there is no sex, I personally don't see a sin, except that living together gives the wrong impression to those that are weak in the faith, especially children. If by looking at the situation from the outside, some will assume the worst no matter how much a person explains the truth. No one can say for sure that there is no promiscuity. You wouldn't invite other people to live in your house to prove one way or another for it would look even worse to the observer. No one can know for sure, but looking from the outside could cause others to believe that a promiscuous way of life is fine for a professing Christian.
May God bless you.

 

[joeyruready]

Is it a sin? NO. IS it wise? NO.

IF you have managed to be engaged for any length of time and not sinned sexually you are really doing well and honoring yourselves and God. Please consider working now on keeping your marriage pure even before you are married and also providing an example for others. As God's children, holy and dearly loved what we do should appear very different than the things the world does. I think the best way I can explain is to offer you my own choices and let you consider what you think is the best thing to do to glorify God and give your marriage the best beginning it can have.

I am divorced. I have committed multitudes of sexual sin in my life. I do not know if I will ever be married again but even today I am working to ensure If I am every married, my marriage will honor God in every possible way. I do not kiss anyone. Paul told us to greet one another with a holy kiss. To me this means kissing one another as you would family. I have brothers and sisters and a mother and children. The way I kiss anyone is no different than the way I would kiss my own mother or sisters or brother. There is absolutely no sexual component. I have had several girlfriends who were good godly Christian women who have left me because of this choice. I think that is a good thing. IF I am ever remarried, the very first time I kiss my wife will be after a preacher says the words, you may now kiss the bride. Even most Christians think this is extreme.

I think my choices honor God and honor every woman I spend any time with; treating them as completely pure and ensuring my actions do not lead myself or them into sexual sin. I also think these choices honor my marriage if I do every have another one. As I said, I have made many mistakes. I repeated those same mistakes over and over. I have finally learned God's ways are far better than my ways. Think of the strength of any marriage when the wife knows her husband wouldn't even kiss her before they married. God needs to be our foundation. IF we marry God needs to be the foundation of the marriage. IF we build castles in the sand we should realize whatever we build will not stand. When we put effort and energy into something it will only bring suffering if the foundation is not God.

These are my choices. IF you think this is a good example and exemplifies wisdom, then I urge you to adopt my thinking and honor yourselves and your future marriage by thinking...not whether or not moving in together is sin but rather asking yourselves if it is the most godly thing you can do for yourselves and also the best example of godliness you can present to others.

I do hope these considerations are beneficial to you and your future. All glory and honor and power and praise always be to our God and father from whom all good things come. May the peace and grace of our God always be with you.

 

[AvalonXQ]

Aside from the temptation of it all, and the fact that scripture instructs us to abstain from anything that even appears evil,

Actually, that's a mistranslation.

consider what this would do to your testimony. How would you effectively witness to anyone? When they find out that you're "shacked up" with a man, it won't matter a hill of beans to them if you're fornicating or not. All they'll think is what a crock Christianity is, and why would they want to associate themselves with such hypocrisy.

Wow;I don't know where you live that people judge each other this way (or maybe what age group?), but I'm glad my situation is different. I expect hers is too.

Christianity is a crock because a girl is dating her roommate but not sleeping with him? Really?!

 

[arb71]

I do not wish to sound harsh in my response , but yes,there are plenty of scriptures in the Bible that discourage cohabitation. Before Ishare them, the example given of Mary and Joseph by Reject-tech, ishighlyinappropriate. First, Joseph was given direct instructions from God throughGabriel regarding the care of Mary and he followed them as he should have. Second, their situation was extremely uniqueconsidering she was carrying the Savior of the world. Joseph being espoused to her charged him withbeing loyal to her and taking care of her, until they married, which he did despite the surprisepregnancy. Third, there is no evidence that they actually lived together, in fact, Matt 1:19 reads that Joseph put her away privily or privately as to not make her a public example. They travelled to Bethlehem together on business to be taxed, which was a requirement (she gave birth while she was there). Luke even lets us know thatMary went to live with her cousin Elisabeth for three months of herpregnancy. Finally, consider thefollowing scriptures for your own sake: Abstain from all appearance of evil. IThess 5:22//Neither give place to the devil. Eph 4:27// I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies ofGod, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptableunto God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world:but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what isthat good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God Rom 12:1-2//. Jesus said unto him, It is written again, Thou shalt nottempt the Lord thy God. Matt 4:7// Let no man say when he is tempted, I amtempted of God: for God cannot be tempted with evil, neither tempteth he anyman: But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, andenticed. James 1:13-14// For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwellethno good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that whichis good I find not. For the goodthat I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do. Now if I do that I would not, it is no more Ithat do it, but sin that dwelleth in me. I find then a law, that, when I woulddo good, evil is present with me. Rom7:18-21//
There areso many more scriptures to share regarding this situation (shoot me an email ifyou want more). Despite what you feel is"strong faith" you are purposefully placing yourself in a position tobe tempted to sin and the devil loves to take advantage of thoseopportunities. We are to resisttemptation, but cohabiting with someone you are attracted to is an open door toinvite temptation and that is exactly what the devil wants you to do.