Backstabbers

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radical_christian

Guest
#1
When people you love dearly "back-stabb" you, what is it that are you suppose to do. This has happened to me and I don't know what to do. I have prayed about it. Should I still speak to the person who has hurt me or should I try to avoid him because of the anger that might stir in me?

I am not going to say what he spoke of me but he has just judged me wrongly and even though I know I should not care what others think I am still hurt inside and I need Jesus to heal that wound. I hope this doesn't sound like I am having a pity party. Thanks in advance to you all and may God richly bless you and keep you under His wings.

*Just so you know I was told that he was "back-stabbing" me by a reliable Christian friend that I admire.
 
M

MaggieMye

Guest
#2
When people you love dearly "back-stab" you, what is it that are you suppose to do. This has happened to me and I don't know what to do. I have prayed about it. Should I still speak to the person who has hurt me or should I try to avoid him because of the anger that might stir in me?

I am not going to say what he spoke of me but he has just judged me wrongly and even though I know I should not care what others think I am still hurt inside and I need Jesus to heal that wound. I hope this doesn't sound like I am having a pity party. Thanks in advance to you all and may God richly bless you and keep you under His wings. Consider the source. Who is it that works IN that person to come against you and tear you down? It is satan!! And this person is IGNORANT that he is being used of satan against you! FORGIVE. Let it go. Only if some part of what he said is true, should you be concerned. And if there is any part of it that is true, then YOU need to repent, ask God (and anyone else that your behavior has affected) for forgiveness and receive it. If none of it is true, YOU need to CHOOSE to forgive that person for their ignorance. You can also do Mt 18 and go to that person and ask him why he said these things about you. LISTEN. The person hearing may have misunderstood! GET the FACTS. If the person truly did say wrong things about you, find out WHY. The odds are very good that he misunderstood something YOU did.

*Just so you know I was told that he was "back-stabbing" me by a reliable Christian friend that I admire. Your reliable Christian friend should have kept his mouth shut and instead prayed, binding the spirit of gossip. He should also have told this person to shut up/be quiet and stop gossiping and slandering others.
Maggie​
 
S

songster

Guest
#3
As you form relationships in this life, not everyone will return the love and trust you have extended toward them. The tongue (according to James 3), is a powerful tool capable of starting great fires, but the tongue can also be used to extinguish fires. I have no doubt that you have been wounded over this issue, but, I would like to introduce a new perspective to you, concerning this.

Remember that God loves us enough to reveal hurtful thoughts stored in our hearts. These thoughts which are sometimes stored within us, and begin to affect our lives, and must be addressed at some point so that we can grow and mature.

Matthew 15:19

“For out of the heart, proceeds evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, lies, slander”….

These are the thoughts which precede our actions. The enemy of our souls knows that these thoughts are there, and will not hesitate to produce situations which will cause these internal thoughts to manifest. If we react to these situations with the ‘mind of Christ’ or in other words, in the nature and character of God, we bring glory to God, and the enemy is put to shame.

When this occurs, God has allowed a situation to occur, but through your response, it can result in God’s glory, your personal growth and spiritual maturity. Wounds of this type can fester and give way to ‘vain imaginations’ which is a biblical term for ‘paranoia’ or the futility of our imagination, and also bitterness.

I encourage you to pray for the person who wounded you, forgiving them yourself, and also asking God to forgive them. Believe me when I say that God is concerned about our spiritual growth and our character. It’s not the T-shirt, the bumper sticker or the cross hanging around our neck that proves that Christ is in our hearts, and that we are led by the Holy Spirit, it’s how we live, how we think, and the choices we make.

Let this become an opportunity to glorify God, knowing that your brothers and sisters in Christ are suffering similar things. You know what to do, because He is in you!

II Timothy 3:12

All who live godly, will suffer persecution.
 

Kathleen

Senior Member
Oct 13, 2009
3,570
6
38
#4
Yeah dunnno if that was sarcasim or are you being geniuen EnochxGenesis but you get banned for saying stuff like that :S

Not to mention that wasnt what she was saying but it did make me laugh so i thank you for that

Radical Chrisitan, I think you should leave it to God, I think SongStars contrubution was VERY valid, and a good input.

My family is the only born aggain belivers n our school - i know what your talking about when it comes to 'backstabbers' but ust leave it to God and keep him in your thoughts constanley, with love in your heart, you should get over it. Forgive them, but if it is eation away at you, I would the, suggest you confront the person.
May the Holy Spirit guid you on this matter
God Bless
Kathleen
x
 
C

concernedguy

Guest
#5
When people you love dearly "back-stabb" you, what is it that are you suppose to do. This has happened to me and I don't know what to do. I have prayed about it. Should I still speak to the person who has hurt me or should I try to avoid him because of the anger that might stir in me?

I am not going to say what he spoke of me but he has just judged me wrongly and even though I know I should not care what others think I am still hurt inside and I need Jesus to heal that wound. I hope this doesn't sound like I am having a pity party. Thanks in advance to you all and may God richly bless you and keep you under His wings.

*Just so you know I was told that he was "back-stabbing" me by a reliable Christian friend that I admire.

Christ commands us as Christians to talk to the person that we have an offense against in love. I
would ask them if they have a couple of minutes for me to tell them something? This will usually
get most people's attention.
Then I would ask him - not tell him - Can I tell you about something that is bothering me? Most people
will say yes. Then tell him in a straight-forward but non-judging way what is on your mind. Be sure
to point out that your friendship with them is important to you so you wanted to talk to them about
things that could hurt your relationship.
If they consider you a friend, they will listen. If not, they won't. If they don't listen, this is a second
offense that shows how little they regard you as a friend. In this case, you did what you were
supposed to do. If they are still cold to you, then I suggest you look for a new friend.
But after some time, this person who rejected what you said at first may reconsider. If they do, try
to work it out but be clear that telling lies about you is not acceptable to you. By drawing this line,
it is now the other person's responsibility to be your friend or wrong you again.

I would also suggest that you point out that they are someone you look up to as a brother in Christ
and their actions have hurt you. If this doesn't get their attention, God will.

Its ok to look for guidance from others but never put your faith in others. I learned this the hard way.
Perhaps what you are learning now. People are human and they do fail at times. It took me several
years to deal with this issue myself when someone I looked up to did something to me that just
broke me to pieces. Perhaps it was God teaching me to never look to others. Always keep my eyes
on Him. But it hurts just the same.
 
D

Dread_Zeppelin

Guest
#6
Yeah I had this happen to me in high school- and it was the mother of all back stabbing. What I did was become calm enough to face that person- tell them what they did, tell them how i felt about it, and pretty much ended the friendship but in a nice way. Why would you want people who obviously dont care about you to be a friend.
 
May 21, 2009
3,955
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#7
Jesus says to forgive and to pray for your enemy. Thats sets you free and lets God work on them. How many times do you forgive? Over and over and over.
 
Feb 27, 2007
3,179
19
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#8
AAAAh the art of building oneself up by tearing another down, painful and normally does not accomplish what the gossiper intended, to look better because of the folly of others or presumed folly of others.
 

pickles

Senior Member
Apr 20, 2009
14,479
182
63
#9
It is inportant to always forgive. But it does not mean you have to trust or let that person into your life again. Im sorry you had this happen. I have gone through this also and I know it can be very hurtfull. Just remember to forgive as pain and anger can easly lead to bitterness. Although I dont think you would let that happen. You have to good of a heart imoss.
Hugs and God bless, pickles
 
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