This isn't a thesis on how to give godly advice; no one can really tell you how to give godly advice. What I do want to share is a few things to do and not do when giving others, especially other Christians, advice.
In my own journey, I've heard the most discouraging advice from Christians who didn't know to wait to get a fuller story before speaking. Because of their haste to quote and allude to the Bible, their words, even when true, were often harmful and discouraging rather than helpful and encouraging. I've been told to remain in some bad situations because of this; and I've met people who have abandoned Christianity because of ungodly (unwise) advice. While some may think that words of advice can't really do any harm if they are wrong, the opposite is really true. The Bible says, "Life and death are in the power of the tongue." The power of the tongue or 'the power resident in words'. Words are powerful; God used them to literally create all that we see. Our own words are powerful, so we should be humble and considerate when we give other Christians who are in distress advice on how or how not to proceed. Jesus knew how important and powerful words are. He said, "The words I speak to you are spirit, and [therefore] they are life" (Jn. 6). If our words of advice don't enliven and encourage those we speak them to, the fault isn't theirs but the lack of life (truth) in our words. Before Jesus came to earth, Isaiah prophesied about Him and His death in Isa. 50. In v. 4, Isaiah/Jesus says, "The Lord God has given Me the tongue of the wise, that I should know how to speak a word in season to him who is weary." Jesus knew what to say, how to say it, and when to say it. He knew this because He was constantly listening to what God was saying in the moment as the rest of the above verse continues: "He wakens Me morning by morning; He wakens My ear to listen as one [still] being taught."
We rarely ever know what to say to others who need advice (as we don't listen to God as much as Jesus did); therefore, when we give words of advice to 'the weary' (a struggling or hurting person), we should wait and proceed humbly and cautiously, trying to hear what God is saying today about the person's situation rather than parroting what the Bible said yesterday about the situation. Live words (rhema, now words spoken for the specific situation) give life to the recipient; but words read or quoted from the Bible but which are not for the person's immediate situation bring death (discouragement, depression, loss of hope, confusion, anger, negative feelings and thoughts and emotions). I have had this happen to me as have many, many Christians (some of whom are no longer Christians because of unwise or ungodly words or advice (I know some of them)); it is important that when a Christian gives another Christian advice or direction, the advising Christian should wait for what the Lord tells them to say or at the very least proceed with kindness and consideration, being aware of how the recipient feels about or receives his/her words.
Again, God's words always bring Life; confusion or discouragement by a recipient at words of advice are excellent indicators that the advising Christian has missed it. "We know that we all have knowledge; knowledge puffs up (self), but Love edifies (others)" (1Cor. 8:1). Giving advice (knowledge) is easy and usually helps the advising Christian more than the recipient; but like Bryan Duncan sang so long ago, "Love takes time" and helps the recipient more than it helps the advising Christian. If anyone, as a Christian, cannot give advice that cheers or encourages (literally strengthens) someone who needs it, the wisest thing to do is be quiet and say you don't know what to say. There's nothing at all wrong with that; it's called humility. "Love takes time"; if you don't have the time to wait before giving advice to a struggling or seeking person, then don't give any advice at all.
Bryan Duncan - Love Takes Time - YouTube
In my own journey, I've heard the most discouraging advice from Christians who didn't know to wait to get a fuller story before speaking. Because of their haste to quote and allude to the Bible, their words, even when true, were often harmful and discouraging rather than helpful and encouraging. I've been told to remain in some bad situations because of this; and I've met people who have abandoned Christianity because of ungodly (unwise) advice. While some may think that words of advice can't really do any harm if they are wrong, the opposite is really true. The Bible says, "Life and death are in the power of the tongue." The power of the tongue or 'the power resident in words'. Words are powerful; God used them to literally create all that we see. Our own words are powerful, so we should be humble and considerate when we give other Christians who are in distress advice on how or how not to proceed. Jesus knew how important and powerful words are. He said, "The words I speak to you are spirit, and [therefore] they are life" (Jn. 6). If our words of advice don't enliven and encourage those we speak them to, the fault isn't theirs but the lack of life (truth) in our words. Before Jesus came to earth, Isaiah prophesied about Him and His death in Isa. 50. In v. 4, Isaiah/Jesus says, "The Lord God has given Me the tongue of the wise, that I should know how to speak a word in season to him who is weary." Jesus knew what to say, how to say it, and when to say it. He knew this because He was constantly listening to what God was saying in the moment as the rest of the above verse continues: "He wakens Me morning by morning; He wakens My ear to listen as one [still] being taught."
We rarely ever know what to say to others who need advice (as we don't listen to God as much as Jesus did); therefore, when we give words of advice to 'the weary' (a struggling or hurting person), we should wait and proceed humbly and cautiously, trying to hear what God is saying today about the person's situation rather than parroting what the Bible said yesterday about the situation. Live words (rhema, now words spoken for the specific situation) give life to the recipient; but words read or quoted from the Bible but which are not for the person's immediate situation bring death (discouragement, depression, loss of hope, confusion, anger, negative feelings and thoughts and emotions). I have had this happen to me as have many, many Christians (some of whom are no longer Christians because of unwise or ungodly words or advice (I know some of them)); it is important that when a Christian gives another Christian advice or direction, the advising Christian should wait for what the Lord tells them to say or at the very least proceed with kindness and consideration, being aware of how the recipient feels about or receives his/her words.
Again, God's words always bring Life; confusion or discouragement by a recipient at words of advice are excellent indicators that the advising Christian has missed it. "We know that we all have knowledge; knowledge puffs up (self), but Love edifies (others)" (1Cor. 8:1). Giving advice (knowledge) is easy and usually helps the advising Christian more than the recipient; but like Bryan Duncan sang so long ago, "Love takes time" and helps the recipient more than it helps the advising Christian. If anyone, as a Christian, cannot give advice that cheers or encourages (literally strengthens) someone who needs it, the wisest thing to do is be quiet and say you don't know what to say. There's nothing at all wrong with that; it's called humility. "Love takes time"; if you don't have the time to wait before giving advice to a struggling or seeking person, then don't give any advice at all.
Bryan Duncan - Love Takes Time - YouTube
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and thanks for asking..