Well at least they're at peace...? What can you really say to a grieving relative

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Pottyone

Guest
#1
#1
In my work I get the opportunity to socialise with hundreds of individual people every week and sometimes it comes up in a conversation that they have recently lost a loved one through sickness or after an accident. Obviously you want to try to bring a measure of comfort to a grieving person however when you discover that the person who died was not a Christian and you are in a one to one situation with someone, what response can you best bring to the statement..." Well I'm just glad that they are at peace" or " it's happy for them you know" or other versions of this comment by the relative. You want to bring comfort, but you need to bring Truth at he same time. How do people respond when in this situation?
 
4enlightment

4enlightment

Banned
#3
May 15, 2013
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#3
Pottyone said:
In my work I get the opportunity to socialise with hundreds of individual people every week and sometimes it comes up in a conversation that they have recently lost a loved one through sickness or after an accident. Obviously you want to try to bring a measure of comfort to a grieving person however when you discover that the person who died was not a Christian and you are in a one to one situation with someone, what response can you best bring to the statement..." Well I'm just glad that they are at peace" or " it's happy for them you know" or other versions of this comment by the relative. You want to bring comfort, but you need to bring Truth at he same time. How do people respond when in this situation?
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Say what everyone else says when they doesn't know or how to answer the question, and that is by saying , "Jesus is love, and love is Jesus". So it isn't lying , but it doesn't answer the question; but they will not respond back to that answer, because they don't want to make you feel bad that your reply doesn't make any sense.
 
wattie

wattie

Senior Member
#4
Feb 24, 2009
3,037
1,026
113
New Zealand
#4
This is really hard. My father passed away in 2012 from a battle with prostate cancer at 66 years old. He didn't believe in Jesus. He had been going to different protestant churches since he was in his mum's belly, but as a teen was convinced by a minister (of all people!) that he didn't have to believe in Jesus, or in all the miracles, or in believing a young earth. Basically was put on to liberal theology.

So while I had family members saying things like 'we will see him in heaven' - because some of them had similar beliefs to him- belief in God but not Jesus.. I was thinking 'well.. I don't know if I will, because he may or may not have received Jesus as His Saviour. And I am actually highly doubtful judging by his attitude to Jesus.'

It was something that made my grieving time a bit more upsetting, because I didn't know.. and knew there was a high possibility he may now be in ... hell.

I am comforted though in the fact he had sooo many people praying for him and with him before he died. There is a chance he did recieve Jesus before the end.
 
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Tintin

Guest
#5
#5
4enlightment said:
Say what everyone else says when they doesn't know or how to answer the question, and that is by saying , "Jesus is love, and love is Jesus". So it isn't lying , but it doesn't answer the question; but they will not respond back to that answer, because they don't want to make you feel bad that your reply doesn't make any sense.
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I just want to address this quickly. Yes, Jesus is love but love isn't Jesus. If love were Jesus, it would be defining God, rather than God defining love.
 
RedTent

RedTent

Banned
#6
Oct 31, 2011
8,200
182
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#6
While people are grieving is no time to think about the departed one's salvation. The Lord will take care of that. They just need love and sympathy in their grief. They have a difficult job ahead, they must learn to live without all the one who passed away added to their life, they can do nothing about that person's salvation. You need only give words of love and comfort for the person left behind.
 
damombomb

damombomb

Senior Member
#7
Feb 27, 2011
3,801
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#7
You could say, you don't know what was in their hearts or how the Lord had been dealing with them and their last word could have been them calling on Jesus.
 
crossnote

crossnote

Senior Member
#8
Nov 24, 2012
30,706
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#8
Pottyone said:
In my work I get the opportunity to socialise with hundreds of individual people every week and sometimes it comes up in a conversation that they have recently lost a loved one through sickness or after an accident. Obviously you want to try to bring a measure of comfort to a grieving person however when you discover that the person who died was not a Christian and you are in a one to one situation with someone, what response can you best bring to the statement..." Well I'm just glad that they are at peace" or " it's happy for them you know" or other versions of this comment by the relative. You want to bring comfort, but you need to bring Truth at he same time. How do people respond when in this situation?
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Depending on how much they are still in mourning, I would challenge their statement with a thought provoking question, such as..."Where do you think they are at peace?"
 
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psychomom

Guest
#9
#9
Romans 12:15
Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.

Job's friends did their best work when they just sat there in silence with him for a week.
as i've said before, we grieve for the living...for those who feel bereft.
even when we are sure a loved one is rejoicing in God's presence,
the living still feel the loss of that person. :(

just pass the tissues. or better still, bring a box with you when you go to visit
someone who has lost a friend or family member.
 
pickles

pickles

Senior Member
#10
Apr 20, 2009
14,479
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#10
Id say look to Jesus, He will bring you comfort and peace.

My abusive father passed many years ago, and like many, I wondered if He had recieived Jesus before he passed.
I wanted to find something to give me some Hope for him, when I looked to Jesus...
in looking to Jesus I found peace, for in Him I saw that all is in God Our Fathers hand, and is so much greater than I can even imagine.
I realised then that what ever the outcome, my peace is in Jesus, and by Him, resting in God's care.

God bless
pickles
 
4enlightment

4enlightment

Banned
#11
May 15, 2013
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#11
Tintin said:
I just want to address this quickly. Yes, Jesus is love but love isn't Jesus. If love were Jesus, it would be defining God, rather than God defining love.
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Love is something that the Father has produced or begat and which that is one of His fruits. Love consist of compassion, mercy, and understanding. Instead of raising His wrath, He had let His love shine or reigned inside of Him.
 
crossnote

crossnote

Senior Member
#12
Nov 24, 2012
30,706
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#12
4enlightment said:
Love is something that the Father has produced or begat and which that is one of His fruits. Love consist of compassion, mercy, and understanding. Instead of raising His wrath, He had let His love shine or reigned inside of Him.
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Love is His very essence for it is written 'God is love'.
God is just also and sin has to be punished.
God did 'raise His wrath' against sin when He poured out His Wrath on His Son at Calvary.
That is why grace can reign through Jesus Christ.
 
dcontroversal

dcontroversal

Banned
#13
Dec 12, 2013
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#13
Hey man...I am sorry to hear that and make no mistake...a biblical minister would not have led your dad that way and will pay at the end of the day for sure.......

All we can say and or know is that everyone is in the hands of a merciful, loving God and there will be no one in heaven who does not come (dia) Jesus and NO ONE IN HELL that doesn't deserve to be there.....

I know this is a hard saying, but true.....Again sorry to hear that!
 
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