My best friend came out of the closet

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B

Beckster

Guest
#1
#1
Those awkward middle school years. I was able to endure them when I met my best friend. When high school began, we went to different ones so we stopped seeing each other. But then when it came to college, we were somehow reunited and have become so close. This girl taught me how to drive and even went to the DMV with me when it came time to take my test. (That is a best friend right there)

It has been 5 years since and it was this past May 2014, on my birthday that she confided in me that she may be into girls. I laughed it off. I was thinking, no, not her. It will pass. I knew she had a suffered from abuse as a child from her dad like me which helped me see why she was experimenting with girls. But now she is in a relationship and seems to be firm in her choice.

Yes, she is a believer...if I try to talk to her about it, she will just throw it in my face that God loves everyone, including the homosexual...of course God loves them, just not the sin. A man and a woman were meant to be together. Like my pastor once said, we fit together physically like two puzzle pieces and that is how God made it.

I still hang out with her and laugh although she is at the point of having one foot in the party world and the other with God. I see her leaning more towards the other though...

My question is, am I supporting her sin by hanging out with her and even sharing a good laugh? Am I always supposed to throw her sin at her face everytime we hang out? (i dont think so) and tell her over and over that I am praying for her and will always be her friend but I will not ever accept this part of her? Some people have told me to stay away from her. That by having a good time such as getting coffee together is saying that I support her sin. This doesn't sound right...
 
Agricola

Agricola

Senior Member
#2
Dec 10, 2012
2,638
88
48
#2
Do not worry about the ridiculous right wing and legalistics. Just keep on being a best friend with her, accept who she is and what she is, go out enjoy life together as best mates do, be there for her as a shoulder to cry on and to share laughs and happy stuff.

Sure you may not agree with what she is, but a true friend will not berate nag or cause conflict and anger. At end of day, she knows and does not need people to keep beating her with the anti-homosexual stick.

My policy with any sinners living in thier sin, is let them know its wrong, which you have done and let it at that. She claims she knows Christ as her saviour, let the transformation through Christ take place, could be a long long time in coming, but that is up to Christ and Holy Spirit to sort out, not you.
 
P

phil112

Guest
#3
#3
Agricola said:
Do not worry about the ridiculous right wing and legalistics.................
Click to expand...
Really? You're going to make this political? Fella, you need to do some inner searching.
 
S

skipp

Senior Member
#4
Mar 6, 2014
654
7
0
#4
I wonder how many of us are friends with people who are sleeping with someone outside of marriage, or who cohabitate with someone, or who are gluttons, or other sins that we tend not to concentrate on as much as homosexuality.
 
B

Beckster

Guest
#5
#5
skipp said:
I wonder how many of us are friends with people who are sleeping with someone outside of marriage, or who cohabitate with someone, or who are gluttons, or other sins that we tend not to concentrate on as much as homosexuality.
Click to expand...
That is actually very true. We tend to put value on each sin when God see's it all the same. Sin is sin.
 
jsr1221

jsr1221

Senior Member
#6
Jul 7, 2013
4,265
77
48
#6
skipp said:
I wonder how many of us are friends with people who are sleeping with someone outside of marriage, or who cohabitate with someone, or who are gluttons, or other sins that we tend not to concentrate on as much as homosexuality.
Click to expand...
It's surprising at how many people tend to look the other way or say "it's none of my business" when people are dealing with other sins. Sin is sin. God views all of it the same at the end of the day.
 
crossnote

crossnote

Senior Member
#7
Nov 24, 2012
30,706
3,650
113
#7
This may seem a little harsh for today's tolerant society but it seems to be applicable...

But now I have written unto you not to keep company, if any man that is called a brother be a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolater, or a railer, or a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such an one no not to eat.
(1Co 5:11)



Now we command you, brethren, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that ye withdraw yourselves from every brother that walketh disorderly, and not after the tradition which he received of us.
(2Th 3:6)

Nevertheless the foundation of God standeth sure, having this seal, The Lord knoweth them that are his. And, Let every one that nameth the name of Christ depart from iniquity.
(2Ti 2:19)
 
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BradC

Guest
#8
#8
Beckster, you have to be led by God when it comes to these things. You know in your heart that it is not good to practice any form of sin whether it be you or anyone else, including best friends. When we isolate those who are engaged in sin, it is our hope that God will bring conviction in their heart and that is the love of God. Fellowship is when two people are walking by faith in the purity of their hearts before a Holy God without practicing or having any known sin ongoing in their life. We can befriend them and asked how they are doing but there is no godly grounds for fellowship in the grace of God. We don't reject them outright or condemn them in any way but we must be salt and walk in the light and remain available to restore them from being overtaken by a fault or practice of sin.
 
M

MidniteWelder

Guest
#9
#9

Well you tried more than twice, perhaps it's time to knock the dust from your feet.

It may be perceived as harsh to the transgressor and the enabling sort of people who make excuses for their sin as if Jesus bought them from hell with his life as if to they simply say,
"Hey thanks Jesus that was cool of you" then keep wallowing in their sin while putting on the likeness of a believer.
Jesus never once advocated such a view.
In fact quite the opposite. He laid out the Fathers words then left it up to the individual to comply.
Then moved on, and called out the hypocrites as they are.

These sorts of things are addressed in
1 Cor 5:11
But now I am writing to you that you must not associate with anyone who claims to be a brother or sister but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or slanderer, a drunkard or swindler. Do not even eat with such people.

We are in the world but not of the world.
In James 4:4 we can read that:
anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God.

Remember, Bad company corrupts good character, simply because the more you expose yourself to compromising lukewarm people having compassion for each other in their sin trying to justify themselves by taking scripture out of context pretty soon you may fall into the trap within your own compassion to also begin compromising God's word and begin agreeing with them.
And why? Because they demand you don't hurt their feelings or cause them to feel guilty or shamed right?
Doesn't sound like a very humble person who would be acting that way to try and escape reality trying to have their cake and eat it too.

Now watch and wait to see how many people will try to defend your friend when you know what God said is right, not others.
We're in the time of the falling away, and anyone who sins and doesn't truly know Christ will try and justify...even what is abominable unto the Lord.

So you must make the decision in your walk with God, if there is room for compromise,
Or no compromise. Did Christ ever compromise just to make someone feel better?
God Bless you.
 
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Test_F_i_2_Luv

Test_F_i_2_Luv

Senior Member
#10
Jan 24, 2009
1,601
31
48
#10
Agricola said:
Do not worry about the ridiculous right wing and legalistics. Just keep on being a best friend with her, accept who she is and what she is, go out enjoy life together as best mates do, be there for her as a shoulder to cry on and to share laughs and happy stuff.

Sure you may not agree with what she is, but a true friend will not berate nag or cause conflict and anger. At end of day, she knows and does not need people to keep beating her with the anti-homosexual stick.

My policy with any sinners living in thier sin, is let them know its wrong, which you have done and let it at that. She claims she knows Christ as her saviour, let the transformation through Christ take place, could be a long long time in coming, but that is up to Christ and Holy Spirit to sort out, not you.
Click to expand...
She's referring to the fringe right, not the "right wing".

I am a right winger...gladly part of the religious right...and a Conservative.

What you wrote above is pretty much my feelings on how to handle the situation as well. Welcome to the right wing. :eek:
 
ThomistColin

ThomistColin

Banned
#11
Nov 30, 2012
2,396
26
0
#11
Beckster said:
Those awkward middle school years. I was able to endure them when I met my best friend. When high school began, we went to different ones so we stopped seeing each other. But then when it came to college, we were somehow reunited and have become so close. This girl taught me how to drive and even went to the DMV with me when it came time to take my test. (That is a best friend right there)

It has been 5 years since and it was this past May 2014, on my birthday that she confided in me that she may be into girls. I laughed it off. I was thinking, no, not her. It will pass. I knew she had a suffered from abuse as a child from her dad like me which helped me see why she was experimenting with girls. But now she is in a relationship and seems to be firm in her choice.

Yes, she is a believer...if I try to talk to her about it, she will just throw it in my face that God loves everyone, including the homosexual...of course God loves them, just not the sin. A man and a woman were meant to be together. Like my pastor once said, we fit together physically like two puzzle pieces and that is how God made it.

I still hang out with her and laugh although she is at the point of having one foot in the party world and the other with God. I see her leaning more towards the other though...

My question is, am I supporting her sin by hanging out with her and even sharing a good laugh? Am I always supposed to throw her sin at her face everytime we hang out? (i dont think so) and tell her over and over that I am praying for her and will always be her friend but I will not ever accept this part of her? Some people have told me to stay away from her. That by having a good time such as getting coffee together is saying that I support her sin. This doesn't sound right...
Click to expand...
No, do not end your friendship. Get coffee, don't bring it up. However, when she seeks your advice about it, tell her the truth. Tell her that you believe it is a sinful lifestyle. Remind her that God does not hate her, that God will take care of her. Remind her that all those who are single are called to chastity and celibacy. Remind her that she is the blessed Beloved Bride of Christ, and should not seek unhealthy things (this is true no matter heterosexual or homosexual). Then, remind her that you don't think less of her, that you in no way see this as a problem to your friendship, and that you love her. This is what friends did for me. I resented them for it for a time. I thank them to this day for being honest.
 
Test_F_i_2_Luv

Test_F_i_2_Luv

Senior Member
#12
Jan 24, 2009
1,601
31
48
#12
Beckster said:
My question is, am I supporting her sin by hanging out with her and even sharing a good laugh? Am I always supposed to throw her sin at her face everytime we hang out? (i dont think so) and tell her over and over that I am praying for her and will always be her friend but I will not ever accept this part of her? Some people have told me to stay away from her. That by having a good time such as getting coffee together is saying that I support her sin. This doesn't sound right...
Click to expand...
am I supporting her sin by hanging out with her and even sharing a good laugh? Are you participating in or encouraging whatever "sin" is going on?

Am I always supposed to throw her sin at her face everytime we hang out? (i dont think so) and tell her over and over that I am praying for her My tendency with people is to be friends with them and get them curious or interested. In other words, instead of me pushing to share, their curiosity causes them to pull and inquire from me.

Some people have told me to stay away from her. If someone else's sin is causing you to stumble, then it's time to take a break.

That by having a good time such as getting coffee together is saying that I support her sin. This doesn't sound right... You're right! They've got some wacky thinking! :: scratching head ::
 
M

MadParrotWoman

Guest
#13
#13
I actually agree with Agricola, God has placed you in your friends life for good reason, the way you conduct yourself and your conversations (and prayers of course) are His plan to help her see through her own sin.

I am in a very similar situation at work and my colleague is intrigued by my faith in Jesus, when we are working together she brings the subject up every time. I hope I set a good example but I do fail sometimes. We cannot do the work, God does the work through us.
 
Flamingspirit

Flamingspirit

Banned
#14
Jun 4, 2014
1,849
9
0
#14
crossnote said:
This may seem a little harsh for today's tolerant society but it seems to be applicable...

But now I have written unto you not to keep company, if any man that is called a brother be a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolater, or a railer, or a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such an one no not to eat.
(1Co 5:11)



Now we command you, brethren, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that ye withdraw yourselves from every brother that walketh disorderly, and not after the tradition which he received of us.
(2Th 3:6)

Nevertheless the foundation of God standeth sure, having this seal, The Lord knoweth them that are his. And, Let every one that nameth the name of Christ depart from iniquity.
(2Ti 2:19)
Click to expand...
This needs to be understood. Abrahams wife gave him another woman to sleep with.
 
RickyZ

RickyZ

Senior Member
#15
Sep 20, 2012
9,635
787
113
#15
Agricola said:
Do not worry about the ridiculous right wing and legalistics. Just keep on being a best friend with her, accept who she is and what she is, go out enjoy life together as best mates do, be there for her as a shoulder to cry on and to share laughs and happy stuff.

Sure you may not agree with what she is, but a true friend will not berate nag or cause conflict and anger. At end of day, she knows and does not need people to keep beating her with the anti-homosexual stick.

My policy with any sinners living in thier sin, is let them know its wrong, which you have done and let it at that. She claims she knows Christ as her saviour, let the transformation through Christ take place, could be a long long time in coming, but that is up to Christ and Holy Spirit to sort out, not you.
Click to expand...
Well, that would be the love your nieghbor, remove your log first answer, and that's how I see it... 'cept for

crossnote said:
This may seem a little harsh for today's tolerant society but it seems to be applicable...

But now I have written unto you not to keep company, if any man that is called a brother be a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolater, or a railer, or a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such an one no not to eat.
(1Co 5:11)

Now we command you, brethren, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that ye withdraw yourselves from every brother that walketh disorderly, and not after the tradition which he received of us.
(2Th 3:6)

Nevertheless the foundation of God standeth sure, having this seal, The Lord knoweth them that are his. And, Let every one that nameth the name of Christ depart from iniquity.
(2Ti 2:19)
Click to expand...
Yeah, and that other passage about bringing a brother/sister's error to them in love, and then turn from them if they do not accept correction that Welder brought up...

It's one thing to have an affliction of the flesh, it's another to live in it. I would say that's the turning point, we should be there and be the non-pushy, non-judgmental friends we are; let them know our position but don't preach it at them. And at the point they start living the life just back away. Don't hang out with her, but be open should she seriously seek a heart to heart with you. The Holy Spirit will guide you; actually it all truly comes down to this:

BradC said:
Beckster, you have to be led by God when it comes to these things.
Click to expand...
Father God, as I'm sure we all would agree here, may Your Spirit lead Beckster's heart and mind in these things. And may her friend be so lead as well. In Jesus Name, and thank You Lord. Amen
 
G

gb9

Senior Member
#16
Jan 18, 2011
11,722
6,314
113
#16
well, just be careful not to get pulled in to her stuff. draw a hard line about what you will and will not do. and do not cross it.
 
J

John_S

Guest
#17
#17
Beckster said:
Those awkward middle school years. I was able to endure them when I met my best friend. When high school began, we went to different ones so we stopped seeing each other. But then when it came to college, we were somehow reunited and have become so close. This girl taught me how to drive and even went to the DMV with me when it came time to take my test. (That is a best friend right there)

It has been 5 years since and it was this past May 2014, on my birthday that she confided in me that she may be into girls. I laughed it off. I was thinking, no, not her. It will pass. I knew she had a suffered from abuse as a child from her dad like me which helped me see why she was experimenting with girls. But now she is in a relationship and seems to be firm in her choice.

Yes, she is a believer...if I try to talk to her about it, she will just throw it in my face that God loves everyone, including the homosexual...of course God loves them, just not the sin. A man and a woman were meant to be together. Like my pastor once said, we fit together physically like two puzzle pieces and that is how God made it.

I still hang out with her and laugh although she is at the point of having one foot in the party world and the other with God. I see her leaning more towards the other though...

My question is, am I supporting her sin by hanging out with her and even sharing a good laugh? Am I always supposed to throw her sin at her face everytime we hang out? (i dont think so) and tell her over and over that I am praying for her and will always be her friend but I will not ever accept this part of her? Some people have told me to stay away from her. That by having a good time such as getting coffee together is saying that I support her sin. This doesn't sound right...
Click to expand...
Be her best friend and treat her with the respect that you showed her before. THIS is how Jesus would want you to behave.
 
O

oldthennew

Guest
#18
#18
many years ago, I had a group of what I will call 'friends' who lived in the same apt.com. that I did.
they were mostly professional people with real good jobs.
we hung-out a lot of the time and they sort of took me under their wings as a 'little-sister'.
they were in their mid-twenties and I was a teenager.
we did so many things together, and just had a blast in good fun, we all seemed to really care about each other,

one day a couple of the girls in the group, one a teacher and the other an aspiring actress,
asked me to go shopping with them.
well, to make a long story short, they filled-up the trunk and the back seat with very expensive clothes and such.
I was awed and amazed, as I had no idea what they had been up to and I was definitely not a thief, as yet.

well, I did start stealing, (shop=lifting) and me thinking that I was a bona=fide=Christian, loving and serving.....

one day they asked me if I wanted to go 'shopping' with them and of course I said YES.
well, guess who got tapped on the shoulder and then had to make the 'walk of shame' to the store office?

I spent 5days in a jail, and no, not one of my 'friends' came to bail me out.
it was a terrifying experience, but I was left alone and no one bothered me,
I pondered and stewed in my misery and shame.

i'll let you all ponder on the morals of the story.

a good thing though, it broke me from stealing and trusting and it broke my heart as well.
I was so ashamed and humiliated, a true 'turning-point' in my journey.

I had to make some very hard decisions at such a young age, it was really pivitol in my growth
as a person and a Christian, I had to look at who and what I truly was.
 
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just-me

just-me

Banned
#19
Mar 4, 2013
7,761
107
0
#19
Beckster said:
My question is, am I supporting her sin by hanging out with her and even sharing a good laugh? Am I always supposed to throw her sin at her face everytime we hang out? (i dont think so) and tell her over and over that I am praying for her and will always be her friend but I will not ever accept this part of her? Some people have told me to stay away from her. That by having a good time such as getting coffee together is saying that I support her sin. This doesn't sound right...
Click to expand...
It is her decision to hang on to what God rejects according to his word, stating with the law given to Israel. There is also a scripture that says to blow the trumpet of warning, and if the watchman does do that when they see danger coming, the blood is on their hands. Do all you can to help her shut the door to that closet, and live according to God's will. She is not a believer in the truth, for the truth says that homosexuality is not of the truth.

Leviticus 18:22 22 Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.

It is obvious, by your description of her reaction when you mention her sin to her that God has stopped convicting her because she is fighting against the truth. Real love (the love of God) points to the error that causes a division between God and the sinner. If she continues to hang on to the sin, she will also go down with its destruction. God doesn't want that, but He made us to choose Him over the sin. That's what salvation is all about, for the purpose of not being destroyed with the sin.

Romans 1:24-28
24 Wherefore God also gave them up to uncleanness through the lusts of their own hearts, to dishonour their own bodies between themselves: 25 Who changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshipped and served the creature more than the Creator , who is blessed for ever. Amen.
26 For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: 27 And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another ; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet .
28 And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient ;
 
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