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by , July 27th, 2014 at 07:04 PM (4500 Views)
O.K. this new rant is about eating healthy. The last time I went to see my Doctor I was told to go and see another Doctor and be put on insulin.

Confessions of a glutton - me - For too many years I didn't care and did not take care of my body properly and I am now paying the price.....being obese is the least of it, battling type 2 diabetes, on more medication than I want to pay for and the biggest issue is my sin is in plain sight for everyone to see. I have ruined this temple that belongs to God for His Holy Spirit to dwell in and have ignored this problem far too long.

Well NO MORE....I am 59 years old and it is time to put on my Big Girl Pants (pun intended) and Grow Up. I had an epiphany a few weeks ago when I was having an issue with my cousin - what I did with that situation was pray to God and I gave my cousin and the problem to God and said I quit I need you to take care of this for me. Guess what God Fixed It and within three weeks of the prayer the situation with my cousin and I is fixed.

So I said to myself - self it worked with your cousin why don't you do the same thing for you with this gluttony problem and give it to God. So I prayed and I gave myself to God and told Him I have a problem that I needed help with could He please help me fix it. I want my body to be healthy, I want to loose belly fat, I want to get off some of this medication and I had failed before and needed His help.

Not long after that prayer a friend from church approached me and said she did not know why but that my name had come to her that morning and she felt she should help me. Her job is a physical therapist but she has been wanting to coach people in a healthier life style. So we have gotten together a few times and she is helping direct in dietary areas. Isn't God great in putting us together?

I am on a detox week with supplements, water, fruit and vegetables, Oh Joy, so I am going to post this week about my journey, not that anyone else really cares, but this is an emotional outlet for me to vent, complain or whatever...

My heart is in the right place I just hope my head will follow. My true and real desire is to be the best witness I can be for my Heavenly Father and with His help undo the years of abuse I have done to my body. To truly be healthy and the daughter God intended for me to be.

So sit back, hang on for detox week......I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.


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  1. JesusLives's Avatar

    Being obese you always wonder will he love me? Well the answer is yes, a real man will love you no matter what and that is a comforting thought. However, God loves me just the way I am too, but God loves me too much to let me stay that way and that is why I started this life style change in the first place as I realized that I was destroying my body temple.

    God is patient with me and has let me work this out with Him at my own speed. But this year with the threat of insulin it made me take a hard core look at what has really been going on inside me. I found I had/have issues...

    Hatred of myself, then how can you love someone if you don't even like yourself? Past hurts some my fault some not that I would use as excuses to stay this way. God gently saying I love you Darlene you don't have to do this to yourself anymore. It is just amazing to me how much love God does have for us to be so patient and work with us in the troubled areas of our lives.

    He has helped me realize that I am someone worth loving and that I can reflect His love back to others as long as I continue to lean on Him and allow Him to work in my life and help me make the changes that will add years to the life I have so I can continue to be a witness for Him.... Thanks Dad....For Your love. Thanks to my special guy who loves me just the way I am too...
    tourist likes this.
  2. tourist's Avatar
    I absolutely love you just the way you are! You are trusting in God and you are working hard and I am very proud of you. It saddens me that you had hatred of yourself in the past and I pray that God continues to show you what a truly special and beautiful woman that you are right at this moment. Sweetheart, you are definitely someone worth loving and everything that you do or say shows the love of the Lord that is in your heart.
    JesusLives likes this.
  3. JesusLives's Avatar

    Closing out the month with another 10 pounds gone. 30 lost so far that I hope and pray will never be found again at least not on me.

    I took my blood sugar reading yesterday and it was 79. I have not seen that number in a very long time. Normal blood sugar range is 70-110. Normal? Me a Blond highly unlikely, however, where blood sugar numbers are concerned I will gladly take a normal reading.

    Fact is if I can get normal reading consistently I would be able to get off of all the oral medicines that I take for diabetes. That is my goal and God and I are continuing day by day to work on it. It is a long slow process but at least with God's help I am at long last making progress.

    It is a daily moment by moment battle and winning it means not giving up. This is true with anything that you would be working on. Sticking with it and holding God's hand day by day. Just never give up even if you fail dust off get up and keep going. Just because you might loose a battle doesn't mean you will loose the war. With God's help all things are possible. Keep going.
  4. JesusLives's Avatar

    Well there are some chips in the house and I am not going to beat myself up about it. But I am going to try and resist the temptation to down the whole bag at one time. One might ask why am I torturing myself this way? It is because I need to learn portion control and I am going to start with the Flamin Cheetos and the Jalapeno Lay's Kettle chips.

    Chips are not going to go away they will be around in this world, sure I could avoid them altogether, but where is the fun in that? A sandwich once in a while with a few chips are not going to kill me. I just need to learn to eat just a few chips and this is my chance to see if it can be done. I will make note of the portion size and if I have to sit and count out chips then that is what I will do...

    Mental note to self if an ounce is a portion then maybe it would be easier to get a food scale and weigh it......dually Blond noted......where can I buy a food scale? Must look online....Ebay has everything......Ebay visit to follow shortly....wonder if the chip bags can stay closed until it comes......the scale that is????

    On a more positive note....looks like another 5 pound has evaporated which would bring the total to about 35 pounds.....still a long road to travel but I am happy with the progress.

    Dear Father in Heaven

    Continue to help me in this life style change journey and thanks for walking it with me so far. Keep speaking to me and helping me be wise in the choices I make and teach me to eat portion sizes. Thanks for Your help and Your love....making me a better me and help me to always work for You. In Jesus Name Amen.
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  5. tourist's Avatar
    This is wonderful Honey. I am so proud of you!
  6. JesusLives's Avatar

    O.K. so the chip bags are open - Flamin Cheetos and Jalapeno Kettle Lay's.... have not bought the food scale yet, but have been counting chips. So far so good. Not eating them at every meal either.. Wonder if I could ever keep a bag of chips until they got stale? Laughing at myself and this thought.

    It is not only the chips though, also have been watching what is put on my plate no matter what it is to try and keep the portions in check and this goes on day in day out. Food unlike other addictions can't just be done away with cold turkey as I order to live we still need to eat the turkey....

    Wish I could think and eat like a thin person who usually doesn't care so much about food. Mental note to self.......self think more like a Blond and less like a food lover person..... Blonds do have fun and entertaining thoughts and sometimes they get me into trouble the good kind that is.

    God has been very kind with me and walking this journey day by day and it is a comforting thought knowing He is with me every step of the way as I learn to submit this portion of my life to Him and listen to His prompts. Today if you will harden not your hearts and listen to His voice then turn and live. This is my desire to live and praise My Father in Heaven.
  7. JesusLives's Avatar
    11/7/14 and otherwise.....nasty little creatures aren't they? While I have made some progress in a positive way and 30 so pounds lost....It seems I am now spinning my wheels as compromise is starting to slip in. Not a good thing at all. I still have 100's of pounds to loose and it is far to early to see compromise creep in.

    Whether food, smoking/nicotine, drugs, sex whatever the addiction...How far will we go to feed that addiction? Will we lie about it, steal to support it, sneak around and do it anyway?

    How much do we really trust God to help us become victors over these bad habits that are ruining our body temple that God wants to dwell in? Do we really want the victory over these addictions?

    Or are we harboring feelings of being deprived of something, that what ever the addiction it is really not that bad? I mean aren't we suppose to get some sort of enjoyment out of life?

    Instead of trying to rationalize our pet sins maybe we should cry out to God to help us to overcome them instead...are any addictions good for us really? Sure it may taste good, it may sooth our nerves just for a moment, maybe it gives us a high that might be missing in everyday life and then the it feels oh so good......and then the let down...I look and feel horrible because I ate too much, I risk heart attack, breathing problems and now I have to use a machine to breath, I can't stop taking this drug, and now I feel worthless because they don't like me anymore I gave them what they wanted and now they have moved on to someone else..... Is any of this really worth it?

    When will we see the potential that God sees in us? How can we have eyes that sees the finished product of perfection that God sees when His work is complete in us? Isn't this where our eyes of Faith and Trust in God comes in?

    The war still rages everyday in our lives and satan an his evil whispers in our ears everyday to separate ourselves from God.....When will we see that our only hope and our only help comes only from our Father God who loves us with an everlasting love? When will we submit ourselves to the only one who can save us from ourselves?

    Just how far will you go to keep your addiction? How far are you willing to let God take control of your life and save you? Do you hang on to the problem with everything you have or do you let go and submit yourself to God and allow Him to change you from the inside out?

    Dear God

    Help us to stop lying, cheating, stealing, sneaking around, compromising just to hang onto our pet sins of addiction of choice and let us release them to You. Please come into our hearts and our lives and save us from these things that seem to control us. Forgive us for being so stubborn and hard hearted, forgive us for not wanting to change, forgive us for sinning against our temple in which You want to dwell. Please help us as we are too weak and need Your help. Help us to hear Your voice saying this is the way walk in it. Save us I pray in Jesus Name Amen.
    Updated November 7th, 2014 at 06:47 AM by JesusLives
  8. tourist's Avatar
    This is a beautiful reflection of the struggle to willingly give up that what does not belong in our thoughts and in our hearts that weakens and will destroy our bodies which is the temple of the Lord. I have said the prayer that you wrote and tucked it inside of my heart and will use this power of the Lord to enable me to overcome my own pet sit that is hindering my progress in becoming the man that I am suppose to become in the eyes of God. You are not alone in your own struggle as well.
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  9. JesusLives's Avatar

    Life has had me running in circles and the lack of sleep has fogged up my mind. But none the less we keep going on and powering through....So much has happened since last blog entry got married out in Las Vegas and now live with Mr. Tourist my wonderful husband. Off to take another blood test this morning and in hopes that the A1C number will be in a continued decline. Last test went from 8.4% to 7.3% both of those results were high but it had come down significantly in a 3 month period.

    So we start with 7.3% this time and I am hoping and praying that it will be lower again as I do so want to get off some of the diabetic medicine that I am taking. My goal is to not be on any diabetic medicine at all some day.

    I know it seems as though I have been working against myself in the What's Cooking thread making all the sweet treats but the truth is most of those are for gifts and the Nichols family gathering tomorrow. I have eaten little of what I have been making much to my sorrow, but a lot of the time when I see those sweet treats I just see needles and shots so it helps me resist.

    Maybe I have lost 5 more pounds but a slow process must do much better in the future and we do have January 1st right around the corner with resolutions to be made and goals set trying to be met for 2015. I am still a work in progress thank God He doesn't give up on us.... I need to stick closer to Him and victory will be mine....years from now but victory is still to be had.... I am going to claim it some day.
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  10. tourist's Avatar
    I am very proud of you and I love having you as my wife.
    JesusLives likes this.
  11. JesusLives's Avatar

    Well the holidays are over....thank you Lord......and I must get back on the program of healthier living style. Good news was that even with all the holiday celebrating and the eating that goes with it I still managed to loose 9 pounds from my last visit at the doctor's office and my A1C number was down to 7% from 7.3% so that is moving in the right direction.

    The doctor was very pleased and I must continue on this journey that I started last May. I really would like to be down 50 pounds by the time a year has past so I need to get with it.....pray for some warmer days and maybe try to hit the swimming pool to get exercise that I like to do although that water is going to be COLD.....burrrrrrr.....

    I do live in Florida though so we are not talking lake Michigan cold.... I really do need to add exercise to this program of life style changing and I hate to sweat.....this will be a challenge. I am not into New Year's resolutions as they usually don't get kept....But I am into being healthier so changes will have to be made.....I am thinking I should dig the bike out of the shed and make sure the tires are full of air and take it for a spin.....There is a thought....Put the inside Christmas d├ęcor away yesterday must put the outside things away today......sweep my courtyard.... now there is some one.
  12. JesusLives's Avatar
    April 21, 2015

    Took a blood sugar reading this morning and only thing I had was decaf with sugar free creamer in it and the reading was 200 with not eating anything and sleeping all night....

    I am so angry at myself right now because of my denial of the fact that I am a diabetic and think I can eat whatever I want whenever I want. WRONG BLOND YOU CAN'T DO THAT!!!!!! WHEN WILL YOU LEARN???? When they threaten to cut off a toe? foot? leg? When you start developing sores that won't heal? When Blond when will you listen to the warnings God is giving you and start using self control the He is willing to give you if you just ask Him for His help?

    Do you get the idea that I am just a little aggravated with myself this morning? I am and the way I feel about myself and lack of discipline is not pretty.... I am too human right now and have used excuses to do what I want to do until I have put myself back in insulin and needle territory.

    From when I started this life style change I have dropped weight and not where I started but a few pounds have come back on and I believe from where I started I am still down 24 pounds but I need to loose so much weight and I am very angry with myself at the moment....

    So for right now it is a good thing.... because if anger can motivate me to do better then I am going right to the source of any power I ever hope to have which is back to Dad.

    Dear Father In Heaven..... Please forgive my lack of self control and I ask please help me to allow Your Holy Spirit to come into my life and direct in the things I need to eat to be the healthiest that I can be. I have been failing miserably and I need help that only You can give me. Help me to yield to You and not be so stubborn and self willed....

    I deserve to be on a needle and insulin because of the bad choices I have made and ask that You please give me a change of heart and to submit to Your will. Help me to be more faithful to you and the calling you have planned for my life and I lay myself in Your hands. Help me to exercise more and get me back on track with my health to be a good and shining example and a great representative for you.

    My desire is to become and be more and more like Jesus everyday. I desire to walk with You like Enoch did my heartfelt wish is to walk with you right into heaven...I ask these things in Jesus Name Amen.Thank You Dad....Blond
  13. JesusLives's Avatar
    Rather than berate myself on another failure....I am just going to face facts and admit that I am a is my drug of choice and I eat too much and the wrong types of foods. I am a glutton and it is my sin that needs to be left under God's control because the truth is I can't control myself in this area.

    Just like an addict that has fallen off the wagon I must again submit myself to God and start again. So here goes.


    Help! I can't do this without You and I am failing miserably. I am tired of failing and falling. I drop to Your feet and plead for help...Please Dad take control of this area in my life and give me victory through Jesus...In His Name Amen.

    I begin again.
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  14. JesusLives's Avatar
    So the house is getting clear of a bunch of junk food. But it will never be totally clear as I have a thin guy that I live with that needs calories. But those are for him and not for me. I just have to trust my Father in Heaven to help me make wise choices and walk away from the junk food.

    So I am working on making better choices. I did eat a little more vegetarian last week when I could have had turkey bacon opted for the morning star bacon so making changes like that should help lower my cholesterol that had doubled at my last Doctor visit. I was very upset with myself after doing so well at the beginning of this blog.

    However, addicts fail and fall flat, the difference is for me not to give up then I have failed but to continue and dust myself off and get up and go again. So today I go again.... and I will with God's help be successful. He will lead me through this and I will follow. I am holding His hand and He won't let me go.
  15. JesusLives's Avatar
    With God's help I will change. I will give Him the glory and we will succeed. One day at a time...maybe I should make it a point to pray before I start fixing food so that God will help me make better/best choices and then pay attention to the portion size.

    I need to exercise more too even if it is just walking a short distance every day.... Well time to get started and health my way through the holidays. I know I can, I know I can with God beside me I know I can.
  16. PATMEN's Avatar
    Hi Jesus loves,

    Wow, you really like to write on your BLOG! Because, we are friends on CC... I remembered, writing to me about...That, you only replied on treads and posts on this wonderful Christian Website! I think, you have a really good sense of humour and that you would be really appreciated in the chat rooms! Congratulations, on you hard work to become more healthier in life! I know more from you, by reading your BLOG! Everyone here on CC, should have a BLOG just like you! It is great to chat with our friends on CC, but still... In truth, we really do not share deep conversations, like on a BLOG! I know, that your testimony will help other facing the same difficulties in life!

    GBU, my sister in the Lord
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  17. JesusLives's Avatar
    Time to get REAL AGAIN.... What is it that someone just told me recently how a famous writer of whom I forget the name at the moment said it was easy to quit smoking as he had done it a 1000 I wish it were funny but the truth is trying to change a life style is not easy.

    As you can read November 1, 2015 was my last post in this blog and that has been because I went back to my old ways and gained every single pound I worked so hard to loose and probably found another 50 to add to them.

    Well it is said if at first you don't succeed try, try again. With that written Here I Go Again.

    This will be the evening of day one which will start tomorrow. 8/12/2017.

    What do I plan to do? Well, take baby steps.

    I have been having a terrible time breathing this summer and feet and ankles swelling, lack of activity is making it harder for me to walk. Blood sugar level to the point of Doctor wanting to put me on insulin and I don't want to go there.

    So this blog will be my accountability diary or action plan so to speak and for the first week this is what I want to do. I have to start walking again so I am going to walk three days this week down to the end of the block and back to my house. That will be my start to moving again.

    Eating I will add fruit to my diet and eat at least one piece of fruit a day at least 5 days this week.

    To help cut down on portion size I am going to eat off a salad plate instead of a regular plate starting tomorrow.

    Then will report back next week on how I did. My scale died so won't be weighing in but this isn't a numbers game anymore it is eat healthier deal so I am going to give myself a level of 7 in my confidence on completing what I have set as goals for this week.

    Stay tuned.
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  18. GrandmaLove's Avatar
    You can do this! Make sure your goals are attainable and realistic!!
    JesusLives likes this.
  19. JesusLives's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by GrandmaLove
    You can do this! Make sure your goals are attainable and realistic!!
    Thanks I appreciate the support.
  20. JesusLives's Avatar
    November 16, 2017

    Well the reboot was a bust.... However, every good plan starts with a single action. I have been giving this some thought and here are those thoughts.

    Many years ago I basically challenged God to help me loose weight saying if He thought He could do a good job then so be it. Guess what God took the challenge and I did loose weight. So I tried to remember what it was about that and why it worked and came to this conclusion. I let God take control or at that time I challenged Him to take control and He did showing me that when He is in control all things are possible.

    Which brings me to the here and now. While I am not challenging God this time in my weight loss. I am asking Him to please take control of this problem area in my life and help me to overcome this sin that has tried to control my life for so many years.

    So my plan is to get through the holidays and be more aware of what I am putting in my mouth. Talking to God more about it and allowing Him to help me make the right choices. I have got to let Him take control again as I have done a terrible job with my body temple and need help before it gets beyond being helped.

    Well 2018 is going to be a better year in more ways than one as there are a few things I need to let God be in control of and I thank and praise Him already for the help I know is available to me through Him. Will be reporting back as this is my accountability area to do so.
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