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A Place Called Desolation

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by , May 9th, 2014 at 04:13 PM (1025 Views)
It happen suddenly but was not totally unexpected as nothing really surprises me anymore. In February of this year my darling wife died after years of suffering from the debilitating effects of arthritis and psoriasis. She had numerous other health issues as well but not mentioned in this post. For years I would pray for healing but was always willing to accept God's will for her life.

The last several years she was confined to a nursing home as she could no longer walk or easily take care of herself. Her condition deteriorated to the point where I could no longer take care of her as I was not qualified to do so as she was in constant need of skilled nursing.

The official cause of death was a pulmonary embolism but truthfully, due to the constant pain and anxiety and a horrible quality of life she simply lost the will to live.

On the last day of her life I had prayed to my Heavenly Father not for healing, but for a host of angels to carry her to heaven. Above all else, I prayed for his will, and not mine be done for my wife.

I take comfort in knowing that she is in my Heavenly Father's capable hands and is no longer suffering.

Right now I am an place of abject desolation. Loneliness is my disease, and isolation my friend.

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Comments

  1. Raine's Avatar
    The Lord will never leave nor forsake you because you are his beloved.
  2. JesusLives's Avatar
    Our Father knows how much your heart hurts from this loss of your wife and He is close to you just lean on His everlasting arms and let Him give you the peace you desire.
  3. firework's Avatar
    The death of someone so close is not an easy thing to accept but you seem to have a wonderfully clear understanding of that by surrendering her to God's will. It takes time to adjust to such a monumental change (it took me about four years to accept my loved one's death to a point where I could semi function in a normal way). My heart goes out to you and what you have lost. All I have to say with regard to help (aside from God of course) is to think about how she would want your life to be like with or without her here. Peace to you friend.
  4. Cherries's Avatar
    What a tragedy you have continue to endure brother. Loss and loneliness is no easy feat. I am not sure loss is something you will ever get over its just becomes a little lighter to bare as time goes on. likely our Heavenly Father has made a promise to us that He will be near and comfort the brokenhearted. I pray that when you feel that grief coming up that God will pour peace and His comforting presence upon you.
  5. PATMEN's Avatar
    Hi tourist,

    I know (a little bit) what you have passed through with your wife. I have loss my father to prostate cancer! When, I was 25 years old and now, I take care of my mom! She has also rhumathoid arthritis and some psoriasis convering her skin. I know in my heart, that your loving wife is with the Lord in heaven! Keep the faith in Jesus, our Lord and Savior!

    GBU, my brother in the Lord
    Sherril likes this.