Churches need more good marital instruction

[Jamal]

In this forum, there's a constant drumbeat of men and women having severe relationship issues. For as much as there is, there seems to be an inadequate coverage of relationships in churches. And, what there is, is often garbage. Guys, I doubt you're going to save a marriage by following the advice in the movie Fireproof. You'll just make yourself look like an undesirable sad sap.

Churches need hard-nosed instruction, and not in the form of relationship classes which are awkward to attend, and won't be attended until it's too late. This instruction should be weaved subtly and pervasively into Sermons and Sunday school classes.

I've seen a lot of people get divorced, and the saddest part of is that they often seem ideal for each other, even as they're getting divorced! They appeal to "irreconcilable difference", "he's emotionally abusive", "she's a shrew [except, they use a different word]", etc. In reality, they just suffer from the contempt of familiarity. They don't know how to have a functional relationship and they only get lousy advice from random nitwits and Politically Correct "experts." And, even if someone tells them the truth, they won't accept it because their brains have been steeping antichristian and impractical nonsense for so long.

 

[Nicee]

I agree with you Jamal. When it comes to marriages. No amount of advice can help you. if only one person is interested in keeping the relationship it will not even last that long. There need to be more connection between Husband and Wife than just love. Just as how there is a lot more connection between God and Us apart from Love. Human love is totally different from that of Agape Love. It's kind of sad that this world will never truly understand Agape Love or embrace it because we are so self-centered, and not willing to make sacrifices.

 

[biscuit]

In this forum, there's a constant drumbeat of men and women having severe relationship issues. For as much as there is, there seems to be an inadequate coverage of relationships in churches. And, what there is, is often garbage. Guys, I doubt you're going to save a marriage by following the advice in the movie Fireproof. You'll just make yourself look like an undesirable sad sap.

Churches need hard-nosed instruction, and not in the form of relationship classes which are awkward to attend, and won't be attended until it's too late. This instruction should be weaved subtly and pervasively into Sermons and Sunday school classes.

I've seen a lot of people get divorced, and the saddest part of is that they often seem ideal for each other, even as they're getting divorced! They appeal to "irreconcilable difference", "he's emotionally abusive", "she's a shrew [except, they use a different word]", etc. In reality, they just suffer from the contempt of familiarity. They don't know how to have a functional relationship and they only get lousy advice from random nitwits and Politically Correct "experts." And, even if someone tells them the truth, they won't accept it because their brains have been steeping antichristian and impractical nonsense for so long.

Marriage is a serious proposition and should be taken seriously. Too many couples choose to ignore the red flags and won't initiate a thorough investigation on the potential spouse.

All concerns about personal issues should be discussed before marriage instead of during a marriage. We shouldn't have to 'babysit' bad marriages because those problems existed long before they were married ... but ignored.

 

[sassylady]

I agree, and there are pastors that insist a couple come in for several weeks of counseling before he will even agree to marry them. But there is not enough of it. I do think many years ago couples at least knew what was expected of them when they got married, such as the husband/father role, the wife/mother role, etc. but there are so many wrong ideas and images and sayings that go around now in our society that unless you are seriously in the Word every day, you can get confused and not know what is right from what sounds good. To say nothing of the fact that even many Christians come from broken homes and do not have a solid example of a Christian marriage.

 

[notuptome]

A great deal of the problem would be resolved if folks sought Christian counseling before marriage and waiting until they are over their heads in trouble before seeking Gods guidance.

Not a perfect solution but far better than the alternative.

Won't ask God for direction but are sure going to run to Him for help to fix their mess.

For the cause of Christ
Roger

 

[LRG]

No. The only connection is love. The problem is how do people define and understand what love is.

Love is more than a feeling but it comes with feelings.

In my own personal experience this is what love is.

Love is passion.

Love is doing what is best for the beloved.

Love sometimes is sacrificial.

Love is tolerant and does not give up.

Love tries to understand.

Love gives more than it takes.

Love tells the truth.

Love is long suffering.

Love defends and protects.

What I have noticed that these days more and more people are selfish and self-absorbed. It is all about them. To a lot of people money, career, image or superficial things seem more important than relationship. Few people are willing to endure and self-sacrifice for love. They're in it more for what they can get than what they can give. They think it is all about them and the power struggle when it is really all about sharing and developing character.

Selfish people that don't want to love unless it is convenient for them should never get married.