Is it Un Godley for married believers to separate?

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Y

Ya

Guest
#1
#1
A question I'd like ask other believers from different backgrounds; walks of life etc. how do you feel about this? Should Christian couples separate? is it healthy to spend time apart from your spouse esp. at crucial times. When is enough enough, or is there a such thing after you've said 'I Do?' Even if it's for a day or two, a little space apart. Help me with your thoughts based off of biblical reference is obviously a plus. Thanks.
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#2
#2
Many times Christians are encouraged to separate for a time when they are having marital problems(if they get bad enough). Sometimes it can help. I've yet to hear of any biblical reference speaking against it. Especially if it's done with the end goal of saving the marriage.
 
santuzza

santuzza

Senior Member
#3
Feb 12, 2013
1,609
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#3
I don't believe the Bible addresses separation. I think it can be a very good thing, if, as Ugly says, the end game is saving the marriage. There are also times when one of the spouses may be going through a problem with addiction -- then I would say that separation is almost imperative so the addicted person can get the help they need and the other spouse doesn't enable the behavior.

On a lighter note, my hubby and I live and work together 24/7, and we need to actually plan times of separation because it's tough living with anyone 24/7/365! Sometimes it's just an overnight, but the space does us both a world of good.
 
S

stillholdingon

Guest
#4
#4
Im not sure because i think marraige is a covenant
 
santuzza

santuzza

Senior Member
#5
Feb 12, 2013
1,609
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#5
Having a short, temporary separation is not nullifying the covenant, IMO.
 
P

presidente

Senior Member
#6
May 29, 2013
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#6
santuzza said:
Having a short, temporary separation is not nullifying the covenant, IMO.
Click to expand...

Paul gave the Corinthians commandments that he received from the Lord in I Corinthians 7, let not the wife depart from her husband, but if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And let not the husband put away his wife.

It's translated put away. It could also be send away. Do believe this applies to the issue of separation as well as divorce. If a woman separates from her husband moves out, she's departing from her husband.

I don't think it applies to fishermen or businessmen going off to earn a living and coming home after the journey is over or the wife taking a trip to visit her mom in the next two for a few days. I think it refers to the 'marital disruption' type of things.

I've read too many stories of husbands who want move out for a while or a wife who's stressed and wants to live alone for a while which turn into divorce to think it's a safe course of action. I do understand why some counselors recommend it if there is violence, but I think it's like playing with dynamite, especially in our society where people readily accept divorce and there are even church leaders who seem to think little or nothing of it.
 
D

dalconn

Guest
#7
#7
I'm certainly understanding and sympathetic regarding marital complexities as much as the next person but this passage is hard to mess up.

1 Peter 3:7
Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
 
T

tenderhearted

Guest
#8
#8
I think if there is abuse in a marriage and the abuser isn't willing to get the help he needs, then I don't believe God would expect a person to put up with it. The one who is getting abused should separate from the abuser until the abuser agrees to get help. A marriage relationship will always be tested, but those aren't times to separate. Those are times to grow closer to the LORD. Men and women's church retreats are a great way to get a little space from a spouse and get replenished. I think it's healthy and beneficial. In the bible Jesus went away and fasted for 40 days. There were many times during the journey with his disciples where he would walk off to pray.

People need space and also time with people of the same sex to get built up. If people don't take time for themselves, when the trials come in their marriage they will have a bad perspective on their marriage. Their judgment and ability to reason become cloudy. Temptations to do and think things that they normally wouldn't become stronger. Even their prayer lives become weak. Ultimately this is the enemies scheme to pull people away from God's will.

I feel that married people should consult God first before making any major decisions in their marriage. He is the only one with the ability to soften hard hearts. To help people with their anger and unforgiveness.
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#9
#9
presidente said:
Paul gave the Corinthians commandments that he received from the Lord in I Corinthians 7, let not the wife depart from her husband, but if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And let not the husband put away his wife.
Click to expand...
Nothing in that suggests temporary separation with the intent of coming back together is wrong. It specifically says 'remain unmarried' which points to divorce, not temporary separation.
 
J

justamanda

Guest
#10
#10
I have been repeatedly praying if i should honor my husbands request for separation and the Holy Spirit consistently tells me to be patient and not to abandon him. A house divided cant stand and a struggling christian or non believer needs the most important person in their lufe to reflect Christs love by sticking around.

This is what was revealed to me about my personal situation, each individual should hold tight to scripture and prayer to know what God wants them to do.

I believe in my situation that allowing us to part at this time would only help him drift further from God, as I am the only part of his life that keeps him in touch with the Holy spirit.

Jesus said to follow the lost sheep.
 
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dawn2014

Guest
#11
#11
JIMMY EVANS ..pastor on TV..says NO..not to separte and expect get a divorce ..but if there are problems and they will not get any counseling..then it is OK..for awhile..just be cautious..try to have a talk and see if your spouse is willing to also go along with it..and a lot of prayer is very helpful.. . I have almost had to leave myself because my spouse would not get the counseling.. I have prayed a lot over the years...Things are much better and I thank GOD for that..I have worked through a lot..with lots of prayer and looking at myself to see what I can do to calm things down in our marriage..not easy to do this or ever think that possibly we can make some changes ourselves..as our pride gets in the way. Not knowing what all is going on in your marriage..Maybe it is worse than what I dealt with...so I pray you can work it out..if Not possible. just ask God to give the guidance you need to move forward.. Marrriage is tough..I have been married twice..first time my usband was not a christian and now my second husband is..believe it or not..my 2nd husband is tougher to be married to.
God Bless...I will keep watch on this thread. Dawn14
 
R

RonnieD97031

Guest
#12
#12
Dawn I went through the same thing with my first wife. I tried to get counseling for the wife and I but she did not want to do that so we separated for a while but eventually she left me which gave me grounds for divorcing her. Talk to your pastor and if you feel it will not work out in the end then I would ask for a divorce.
 
S

sassylady

Guest
#13
#13
It is not wrong to separate, but as in your case if the Holy Spirit is saying stay, that is the answer for the moment.

It's essential to pray about everything. God knows everything, every aspect of the heart. Following His leading is the only way.

Obviously abuse doesn't require prayer, you just get out.
 
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