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M
Matt...sorry for this. 
my buddy Suze raised her 4 kiddos, and now they're grown and she goes to Thailand every winter,
and to China twice a year (fall and spring). there's time for this, in its proper time.
I guess if it were me, I'd want you to ask me why i wanted to go...
and if, possibly, I just needed a break from the demanding task of family life?
My husband used to send me to a hotel once a year, all by myself for 2 days and a night.
Just a local place an hour from home, but I sat in Barnes and Nobel with a cup of coffee
reading for hours, and was antsy to get home by the second day.
I'll be praying for you and your wife.
my buddy Suze raised her 4 kiddos, and now they're grown and she goes to Thailand every winter,
and to China twice a year (fall and spring). there's time for this, in its proper time.
I guess if it were me, I'd want you to ask me why i wanted to go...
and if, possibly, I just needed a break from the demanding task of family life?
My husband used to send me to a hotel once a year, all by myself for 2 days and a night.
Just a local place an hour from home, but I sat in Barnes and Nobel with a cup of coffee
reading for hours, and was antsy to get home by the second day.
I'll be praying for you and your wife.
she is a busy body; which can be good but for the first time she doesn't have kids at home with her our youngest (3) is in pre school and older ones are in school. Since then; only since September she has remodeled the kitchen on her own, signed up for this mission, have A young lady move in them short term, and catch up on a years worth of book keeping which she never does, also run 2 marathons
The safest place for anyone is in the center of Gods will. No one can tend to her care and well being better than God.
Are you really afraid she is going to decide she is happier some where else? You may want to share with her that the wife is to obey the husband. If you do and she declares she's going no matter what you think then I think you can see the problem.
For the cause of Christ
Roger
Are you really afraid she is going to decide she is happier some where else? You may want to share with her that the wife is to obey the husband. If you do and she declares she's going no matter what you think then I think you can see the problem.
For the cause of Christ
Roger
I do take these women going off on missions with pinch of salt, it is like the Christian version of "going to the gym" in some circles it seems like point scoring exercise to see who can go to the most remotest place and who puts up with the worst conditions etc, then on dating sites you get most saying "Oh I have done mission work in Africa" or if they have not then its "I want to go to Africa for mission work in the future" , why is it always Africa?
A few people are called, but seriously not everyone is, which is why you should see if this really is God calling your wife to Africa, or its one of those things which all Christian women seem to think they must do to be a good Christian. Like it has been said before, if it is not specificly God asking her to do it, and from experience if God calls one spouse to do some kind of work, then God will tell the other spouse, then there is plenty of stuff in your own neighbourhood that is just as important.
A few people are called, but seriously not everyone is, which is why you should see if this really is God calling your wife to Africa, or its one of those things which all Christian women seem to think they must do to be a good Christian. Like it has been said before, if it is not specificly God asking her to do it, and from experience if God calls one spouse to do some kind of work, then God will tell the other spouse, then there is plenty of stuff in your own neighbourhood that is just as important.
A mother who leaves her chosen and foremost responsibilities is an infidel, sorry to say. If she was single, and didn't answer to a husband, that is one thing. But to have become a wife and a mother, THEN to do this, as though God is telling her too do it, tells a lot about her "religion" and her commitment to her choices as a wife and mother. You'd best be putting your foot down to do the Godly thing here and take control of that woman, assuming you are the man of the house?
I could only bring myself to "like" this because it was from a woman, but I have to say I agree with you. Of course we don't know the whole situation, but basically I can't find any flaw in you argument. She entered into a covenant relationship and there are roles to uphold, for both of them. I don't see how leaving just like this when the husband is freaking out and not at all ok with the whole thing, can be good for anyone of them. That being said this could very well be a result of ALWAYS having to deal with all of that "wife stuff" alone with no help, and just wanting something for herself for once. So it could be just as much on him as well, we just don't know both sides. I just think that the only way to come to any kind of understanding is to go to God and talk it out with her. I will pray God bring His peace and understanding to you both.
P
ah...i think i see...(i was homeschooling six and my sweet husband knew i needed a sanity break. lol)
the only thing i can think of is to discuss this, maybe with your pastor?
she must have reasons...and i know you do, too.
don't you think it's safe to say, if she's a believer, God wants her to obey her husband?
sometimes wives vehemently disagree with husbands, but ultimately it's most honoring to God
when we do as they ask, right?
not saying our husbands are always in the right..,or should be tyrannical, but God is good at working
things out when we do as HE asks first.
(ps-- i was v-e-r-y bad at this when i was a young wife. )
the only thing i can think of is to discuss this, maybe with your pastor?
she must have reasons...and i know you do, too.
don't you think it's safe to say, if she's a believer, God wants her to obey her husband?
sometimes wives vehemently disagree with husbands, but ultimately it's most honoring to God
when we do as they ask, right?
not saying our husbands are always in the right..,or should be tyrannical, but God is good at working
things out when we do as HE asks first.
(ps-- i was v-e-r-y bad at this when i was a young wife.
)
I appreciate that you actually hit the nail on the head here Ugly. It's not whether or not she will die, it's the fact that within the marriage there is this fracture under the guise of a mission trip. It baffles me how a pastor can be okay with one of his team member going on this trip while her husband is fully against it. This all points to many leadership issues even in the church and ultimately not seeing God and His word as having any authority over the decisions people will make! I'm so sorry about this mess!
to be fair though i dont think a woman should be forced to live under an insecure or fearful husband. I mean he hasnt actually given a good reason not to go, which means is whole argument is basically dont go because I said so. That may work with a five year old but not a grown adult, male or female.
As another person shared in his post, it obviously wasn't a message from God, for He would never call a woman away from her husband and children to go to Africa for any reason. She is already fulfilling her God appointed duties to her husband and children. She also isn't being subjected to her husband, and that is against God's will. He doesn't want her to go for good reason, she shouldn't, but is using God as an excuse. It is just a cop out. She wants to get away for other reasons perhaps. But in any case, she should know that he doesn't want her to go and being her HEAD she should follow His wishes. This is the Godly way.
Are you suggesting divorce because you think he's an insecure or fearful husband?
Even if he told her not to go because he said so that is his prerogative... unless she is a rebellious ungodly woman. A spiritually healthy woman wouldn't go against his wishes because she would know the Word of God;
(1Pe 3:4)
But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.
(1Pe 3:5)
For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands:
(1Pe 3:6)
Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.
(Eph 5:23)
For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
Being the BRIDE OF CHRIST inserts us into a submissive role to Jesus our Husband, that is designed to be reflected in our Marriages. We women submit to our Husbands we choose to marry. This is the Christian way, for it reflects Christ and the Church. There is no room in Christ for a self willed Bride. We can see the mess the Israelites of old made of themselves in rebelling against their Husband. Let's do the right thing, let's emulate perfection and righteousness and all will go well with us
Even if he told her not to go because he said so that is his prerogative... unless she is a rebellious ungodly woman. A spiritually healthy woman wouldn't go against his wishes because she would know the Word of God;
(1Pe 3:4)
But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.
(1Pe 3:5)
For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands:
(1Pe 3:6)
Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.
(Eph 5:23)
For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
Being the BRIDE OF CHRIST inserts us into a submissive role to Jesus our Husband, that is designed to be reflected in our Marriages. We women submit to our Husbands we choose to marry. This is the Christian way, for it reflects Christ and the Church. There is no room in Christ for a self willed Bride. We can see the mess the Israelites of old made of themselves in rebelling against their Husband. Let's do the right thing, let's emulate perfection and righteousness and all will go well with us
I
So, the only appointed duties of a woman is to be a wife and mother? I think that neither one of us know what her intentions are and it isn't fair to assume because you and I don't know what God's intent for her life is. Just like how God is working on every single one of us, He is working on her. The bible clearly says seek first the Kingdom of Heaven.... It also says that we should love God first and place Him first.. everything else takes back seat. If you read the bible, you will clearly see God asking His people to make sacrifices(even of loved ones). Would God never ask a father to sacrifice his son? You would be surprised about what God can ask us....
Where is the dislike button. It sounds like you are judging the OP as insecure or fearful, which isn't cool. He could have some very valid reasons. But yes, a wife should submit to her husband even if he has faults. If God is really calling her to this and there is some kind of divine mandate, is this the way to go about it? How did Daniel do God's will? When he and his fellows were asked to eat unclean food, they asked the king's servant to test them by letting them eat vegetables rather than food from the king's table. They submitted to the authority over them and God opened a way. We don't have any evidence that his wife heard the voice of God going to Africa. But we do have the Bible telling wives to submit to their husbands.
If he says, "because I say so" that should be enough to keep her at home. If this is the same poster I'm thinking of, his wife messed the kitchen up without asking and asked him to remodel. Going to Africa on a short-term missions trip, leaving the other spouse to care for the kids without checking with the other spouse is really inconsiderate.
Let's face it, most short-term missions trips aren't the same type of ministry Paul did. Usually, your typical short-term missionary isn't going there winning dozens or hundreds to Christ, discipling people, appointing elders. If the target country's language is different, it's hard to do evangelism without and interpreter. Maybe they'll work in an orphanage for a few days, or build a church building or some kind of structure if the group is made up of men. It may be good works, and that's fine. But taking care of your own children is also good works.
These missions trips can be fun just like any trip to a foreign country is fun, learning about a new culture and seeing the sights. Motivation need not be all that spiritual to go to a new place. Some people think 'Africa' and they think flies crawling up in poor kids noses in the dessert where there is no food and people's bellies are swollen with starvation. Going there sounds like a big sacrifice. Other people hear 'Africa' and think of zebras, elephants, gorillas and adventure.
I'm a man and the head of my household, but I'd definitely check with my wife if I were going to take some trip over seas that would affect her schedule, caring for the kids. It's basic marital consideration. It's also a submission issue if he's earning money from the business and she's spending the money he earned on plane tickets to other continents.
If he says, "because I say so" that should be enough to keep her at home. If this is the same poster I'm thinking of, his wife messed the kitchen up without asking and asked him to remodel. Going to Africa on a short-term missions trip, leaving the other spouse to care for the kids without checking with the other spouse is really inconsiderate.
Let's face it, most short-term missions trips aren't the same type of ministry Paul did. Usually, your typical short-term missionary isn't going there winning dozens or hundreds to Christ, discipling people, appointing elders. If the target country's language is different, it's hard to do evangelism without and interpreter. Maybe they'll work in an orphanage for a few days, or build a church building or some kind of structure if the group is made up of men. It may be good works, and that's fine. But taking care of your own children is also good works.
These missions trips can be fun just like any trip to a foreign country is fun, learning about a new culture and seeing the sights. Motivation need not be all that spiritual to go to a new place. Some people think 'Africa' and they think flies crawling up in poor kids noses in the dessert where there is no food and people's bellies are swollen with starvation. Going there sounds like a big sacrifice. Other people hear 'Africa' and think of zebras, elephants, gorillas and adventure.
I'm a man and the head of my household, but I'd definitely check with my wife if I were going to take some trip over seas that would affect her schedule, caring for the kids. It's basic marital consideration. It's also a submission issue if he's earning money from the business and she's spending the money he earned on plane tickets to other continents.