The Family Forum is so depressing.

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MissCris

Guest
#1
#1
First, I'm glad that there is a place people who are hurting can come and receive advice and prayer, I think it's wonderful to be able to help those in need.

However...

This forum is so darn sad, a lot of people avoid it. I know I do, sometimes. It gets overwhelming, seeing thread after thread of "my marriage is ending" or "he/she cheated, what do I do?" type stuff.

I know most of us have families...and things we do with our families...and happy times with our families...

I guess I'm wondering, isn't there anything else that could be discussed in the family forum? What kinds of threads would draw people here more? To be fair, I honestly can't think of anything myself, so I'm not expecting much of a response to this. I guess I just feel frustrated that there's this entire section on the forum labeled "Family", yet it's almost entirely about broken families, so much so that it's painful just to skim the thread titles.

Does this even bother anybody else?
 
D

didymos

Guest
#2
#2
... but, strangely enough, the SINGLES Forum has the coolest threads. :confused:
 
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Ho11y

Guest
#3
#3
MissCris said:
First, I'm glad that there is a place people who are hurting can come and receive advice and prayer, I think it's wonderful to be able to help those in need.

However...

This forum is so darn sad, a lot of people avoid it. I know I do, sometimes. It gets overwhelming, seeing thread after thread of "my marriage is ending" or "he/she cheated, what do I do?" type stuff.

I know most of us have families...and things we do with our families...and happy times with our families...

I guess I'm wondering, isn't there anything else that could be discussed in the family forum? What kinds of threads would draw people here more? To be fair, I honestly can't think of anything myself, so I'm not expecting much of a response to this. I guess I just feel frustrated that there's this entire section on the forum labeled "Family", yet it's almost entirely about broken families, so much so that it's painful just to skim the thread titles.

Does this even bother anybody else?
Click to expand...
Its hard for me to read them. Its hard to see men and women making such bad decisions. And its irritating that I can't shake the person and say, Did you just read what your wrote! Because its often women staying in abusive situations or men going back to cheating wives who keep cheating.
However, this is reality and this is the reality of what a lot of marriages are like in America and many other countries. On one hand I'm glad they're at least seeking godly advice, on the other, its overwhelming the amount of relationships/marriages that are in serious trouble.

How about adding peoples family traditions this time of year. You don't have to be married to do that. I'm single, but have lots of things I do with my sister/mom/dad etc... On the holidays.
Or asking people who their craziest/ weirdest family member is and why? Or who their favorite is and why? What was the funniest thing you ever did with your family growing up?

Just some suggestions, they could all be terrible, but I wanted to throw some out there :)
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#4
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
9,601
113
#4
​I rarely if ever go into the family forum. Too many "downer" subjects in there. :/
 
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Ugly

Guest
#5
#5
I have actually thought the same thing for a long time. It seems like when it wasn't always this bad. There was a little more variety, but as time goes on more and more threads are on broken family situations. I used to try to answer as much as possible, but like you say, it's become overwhelming. So i don't open many threads here anymore.

But it's a good idea to try to brainstorm on some ways to bright this section up. And coming from a 'family' person it may hold more water than if a single made the same attempt.
 
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MissCris

Guest
#6
#6
Ho11y said:
How about adding peoples family traditions this time of year. You don't have to be married to do that. I'm single, but have lots of things I do with my sister/mom/dad etc... On the holidays.
Or asking people who their craziest/ weirdest family member is and why? Or who their favorite is and why? What was the funniest thing you ever did with your family growing up?

Just some suggestions, they could all be terrible, but I wanted to throw some out there :)
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Those are really good ideas :) I'm going to give it a good think and see if I can come up with a thread after certain members of my family stop leaping off the furniture and clinging to my leg :D

Ugly said:
I have actually thought the same thing for a long time. It seems like when it wasn't always this bad. There was a little more variety, but as time goes on more and more threads are on broken family situations. I used to try to answer as much as possible, but like you say, it's become overwhelming. So i don't open many threads here anymore.

But it's a good idea to try to brainstorm on some ways to bright this section up. And coming from a 'family' person it may hold more water than if a single made the same attempt.
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I don't see why someone who is single shouldn't have as much er..."right", I guess, to start threads here as a married person. This isn't a "Married People" forum, it's a Family forum. Single people have families. So that's a terrible excuse :p

But, like I said, I'm going to see if I can come up with anything, using Holly's ideas (because I'm a thief!).

However! Me starting a thread or two isn't going to make much difference. I'm gonna need help. And I kinda doubt most people care enough to start threads of their own here (oooh, did that sound like a challenge? Sweet...)
 
Grace-Like-Rain

Grace-Like-Rain

Senior Member
#7
Sep 6, 2013
4,430
117
63
#7
I'll help! Let's flood this forum with awesome threads! :)
 
notuptome

notuptome

Senior Member
#8
May 17, 2013
15,050
2,538
113
#8
It is not depressing it is heart rending to see so many folks being rent by the devil who goes about as a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour.

It is good to consider the suffering of those who are experiencing this deep pain and woe. Allow god to use it as a warning to us lest we fall into the same temptations.

Pray for them who are in bonds and temptations like you are bound and tempted with them. Hebrews 13:3

For the cause of Christ
Roger
 
KohenMatt

KohenMatt

Senior Member
#9
Jun 28, 2013
4,021
221
63
#9
notuptome said:
It is not depressing it is heart rending to see so many folks being rent by the devil who goes about as a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour.

It is good to consider the suffering of those who are experiencing this deep pain and woe. Allow god to use it as a warning to us lest we fall into the same temptations.

Pray for them who are in bonds and temptations like you are bound and tempted with them. Hebrews 13:3

For the cause of Christ
Roger
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I agree that's important to be there and to counsel with those who are heartbroken, for their sake and ours. But I also know it's important to testify to all of the great things God has done and is doing in our families. It seems like we don't have an appropriate balance lately.

Grace-Like-Rain said:
I'll help! Let's flood this forum with awesome threads! :)
Click to expand...
I'm on it.......
 
Roh_Chris

Roh_Chris

Senior Member
#10
Jun 15, 2014
4,728
58
48
#10
Actually we just need to bring some of our "queer" family members from the Singles forum to lighten up this place. :D

How about we paint the walls bright yellow with pink butterflies and brown snails? And then draw a few smiling sunflowers? Huh? Sounds good? :D
 
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MissCris

Guest
#11
#11
notuptome said:
It is not depressing it is heart rending to see so many folks being rent by the devil who goes about as a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour.

It is good to consider the suffering of those who are experiencing this deep pain and woe. Allow god to use it as a warning to us lest we fall into the same temptations.

Pray for them who are in bonds and temptations like you are bound and tempted with them. Hebrews 13:3

For the cause of Christ
Roger
Click to expand...
A thing I've noticed is that a lot of the people who come here to ask questions or for advice...they don't come back. Either they don't find the love/support/help they're in desperate need of, or they get attacked for what they say, or they just need a place to vent and then they move on...I don't know.

What I do know is that this forum is cold. Yes, people give advice and prayer here...but there's no sense of...fellowship, or trust, or even love, from what I've seen (most of the time).

I feel like if more of us made an effort to be a part of this forum, and not just spout advice or condemnation, then maybe these hurting people would stick around. If they're made to feel welcome, and if they see that there's a loving community of Christians here...

I don't know, I just think it can be so much better in here than it is. I guess I feel like the advice and prayer offered in here are impersonal and given out of obligation or a sense of "I'm better than these poor suckers". And it's definitely not a fun, or warm, or welcoming place.

I don't see why that can't be changed, if members here care to try. I don't see why there can't be a balance of fun and upbeat threads and serious threads.
 
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psychomom

Guest
#12
#12
many of the ppl who begin threads in here are pretty much first timers...

who often don't stay. :(

they're desperate ppl who've come to the end of their ropes
and are even willing to read advice from strangers.

it's tragic.
 
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