Missing My Husband

[rena123]

Recently I wrote about my husband of 11 years leaving me for another woman since then he has distant himself from the children even more he calls the children every once in while. I'm in agony I miss my husband so much I wish I could feel they way he does and not care anymore he is so envolved in this relationship with this woman. I have not contacted him it has been difficult to leave him alone I don't want to harrass him. Before all this occured my husband was a minister in our church and the provider and I stayed at home and home schooled the kids now I'm forced to put them in pubic school and find a job to support them I offered several times to go to work and he said he wanted me to stay home . I feel so stupid I trusted him. Even after all he has done I still love him when he told me he wanted to leave I tried to work it out but his mind was made up he wanted to be in a relationship with this other woman he no longer loved me anymore .The woman he had an affair with is 19 years older than me and her children are grown. I don't understand we recently purchased a home I showed him appreciation and encouragement but it wasn't good enough. I don't know if i will ever get pass the pain and hurt he has put me and the kids through. I keep praying and asking God to fill the void that is in my heart for my husband I miss my campion and my best friend. I just want to stop thinking about him so I can move forward for me and my kids because they are depending on me.May you keep me and my children in prayer.

 

[SeekinHIM]

I will be praying for you, I too am experiencing similar situation.........................

A great ministry for help online is called www.laughcry.org They have a wonderful book to assist anyone going through difficult, painful situations as you have described.The name of the book is called " Laugh and Cry Your Way to Freedom". You can actually read it online at no charge.

I will continue to pray for you and your children.

SeekinHIM

 

[Faith1027]

My heart so goes out to you. This happened to me 10 years ago. My entire world was so wrapped up in him for 17 years, and then he was gone. My world fell apart. I did not eat, sleep or even function. The tears would not stop. I couldn't run from the pain. It embraced me and took over. I stayed in my Bible and heard God's voice very often. Sweet and encouraging. Then four months later he came crawling back with all of the right words and promises. We tried to make it for 10 years, but the trust was gone and the intimacy was gone. Never to be the same. Well, on New Years Day (this year) he announced he wanted to "end this farce". He is gone now. Bear with me - I am leading up to enlightening you a little bit. He has walked out again. But this time I feel relief. The Lord has taught my heart to let go and not to grieve over something I may never have had in the first place. For a man to up and leave or even entertain the thought of leaving his wife and children, it is something within him. I believe he never loved the way his wife loved. My mistake was I put my husband before Jesus. I loved him more than Jesus. Now Jesus is my love, my husband, my father, my friend, my shield, my protector, and on and on. Jesus does not turn His back on me, nor does He disrespect me, nor does He verbally abuse me, nor does He lie and deceive me. I can live with that. And I can live with the fact I did everything in my power through the Lord to be the best wife and friend a man could ever have. The pain will ease up. Trust me. You will feel stronger day by day. It takes a couple of months. But you will smile and laugh again. Stay in your Bible and stay in prayer and most of all open your ears to what God has to tell you. He loves you more than you ever loved that man.

 

[singleparent]

Dearest rena123; You will find that time does hill all wounds allthough reading those words from someone you don't even know probably doesn't give much comfort I understand.I as well as you lost my wife not two months ago I can still hardly beleave its true but it is seems she wont's what the world has to offer and not me?Like so many outhers I ran to our father for understanding and I found what I needed to move forward with out her.Like you I have my daughter so she takes up some of my time but really getting further in life for me has been through my church and fellowship with other Christan's both here and in church.So though you will cry for a while yet if you seek our Lord and ask him to deliver you from this heart ach he will I promis you he wont's you to take it to him so you can function,the way you feel now can you?I couldn't not for what seemed like forever it still seems so surreal but it is real and I know for my sake as well as my childs I have to move on.Pray for him pray for restitution of your marriage but seek him first.
I hope this is a blessing to you like I said there is a lot of us who know just how you feel.
God bless and keep you.In Christ David

 

[Paws4Jesus]

Firstly, my thoughts and prayers are with you and if you need to talk, add me, I would be happy to chat with you. I am going thru similar and like Faith said, I wrapped myself up in this man. Before we married I told him i would only give him 99%, I had to retain 1% of me because when my father died I was 15, and saw my mother's life just fall into a million pieces. I was so scared of that happening to me but against better judgement I let him have the other 1%.
Well, 4 yrs into a marriage that I thought would be the last relationship I would have as I was 49, and he in early 50s, it falls apart. SO many factors, came into play. He moved out for 2 months or so and then came back, after which he said we were 'building our new life' and yet I find him in a suspicious predictament with a woman of question just a month later. Everything started falling apart again.
The sad thing is also confusing, I want answers, but am scared to ask questions, because the answers may hurt, the truth may hurt more than I can bear. I can speculate the best and worst and do 7498237 times a day, and that leads to more confusion. He is home now but stays out of town, avoids me, very moody, one day sweet and cuddly and the next snaps at me about any little thing. He is on his way out and although I have asked him to not lead me on, to be honest and up front, I know he will wait until the last minute and say he is leaving again.
Bottom line hon is this....... you have to find YOU again. Who are you with out him? God can help. I stay on cc, learning more, hearing more, making great new friends. When he walks out again I have asked myself 34897 times a day in the last few days......... could i take him back? The answer right now is no, no matter how deeply I love him, I dont trust that he will come back, give me the illusion all things are great again and then leave once more. This isn't a yoyo, it is a marriage!!!
I am getting back interested in the horses and am putting ads out to board for more income and to get other horse people around me. Find yourself, find God, and let GOD show you who you really are, DO NOT depend on men no matter how silver their tongue, to validate WHO YOU ARE.
You are wonderful, you deserve better treatment, and honestly, at times I think well, I KNOW, I would rather be without hubby than to continue this EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOASTER. I wont contact him unless i need him and only if I can't fix it myself. I believe that all things in darkness will come to the light and if he is truly being unfaithful, God will show me. You are much kinder and more loving than I ma because honestly, if I find out he is seeing another, I would not WANT to have him back nor speak to him. So see, you are already stronger than I am, so smile.

Bless you and if you want to speak, or if anyone on this board going through the same thing wishes to chat, we can support each other. Feel free to add me.

God bless you all, may our Father show us who we are, make us stronger and shelter us from harm, giving us the wisdom to choose more wisely next time.

 

[Greyhound]

Me too. I could use some honest fellowship.

 

[OreoSoleil]

Wow -- i fit in your shoes too. I'm carrying this mans child --- This whole process is so interesting -- learning to just trust God.

 

[naomibelieves]

Dear Rena123,

you know, it is interesting, you wrote that you want to move forward, please do not be upset with me, but i got a feeling that more that anything you want a reconciliation with your husband. God hears your thoughts, just talk to HIM, present Him your requests, and beleive your prayrs were answered. My husband is gone as well, but i know he will be back. I know, it takes time though. My friends have been waiting for 10, 15 years for their best friend to come back. But Lord performed miracles for them. Just wait, don't get discouraged.

Meanwile, while he is gone somewhere, when you talk, don't ask him, why he has done that, or where he is going,.. you know it anyways, don't hurt yourself by such questions. Instead choose and activity, and try to involve your husband in it around your house, in kid's room, and be very gentle. Read 1 Peter 3:1-6.

I will pray for you and your kids,
God Bless
Naomi

 

[AmongTheChosen]

Youll be in my prayers...

 

[Wootie]

I feel that Satan always attacks harder those who are doing great works for God. You have to understand that we are not perfect, and that 19 year old girl is just a weapon that Satan is using to keep your husband bound. You have to STOP missing him and get mad at Satan!!! Stand up & cast Satan's hold off your mental attitude now--and then go after his hold on your husband! It's ok to get mad without sinning, when you are standing on the word of God to protect or reclaim what is yours. If you sit around missing him or being afraid (which is hard not to do) then you are wasting valuable PRAYER TIME. Get on up girl..get your kids praying with ya...since that's their dad let them help. I will keep you in my prayers.

 

[jesus_be4_religion]

Well one thing you need to do is quit calling him your husband, that will help you to let go of him. Then pray that God puts someone better in your life. You also must forgive him if you have not so that you can move on.I will keep you in my prayers Rena.

 

[loveschild]

The good Lord give you strength in this very hard time.

 

[DinoDillinger]

Sometimes we just gotta say, Father, you are enough.