Since I'm home from college I don't have anything to do so I've been home pretty much everyday and I haven't seen anybody but him use it. Also I've been sleeping in the den where he keeps it and nobody has come to use it at night. I know this is probably wrong but I get on his iPad every morning to check and there are new searches after I have seen him use it.
Hi, Brokengirl.
It's weird because I feel kind of awkward even giving you advice, so I can imagine how awkward this whole situation must be for you at your end. Here's the thing, though...
I honestly believe that we're accountable to God for the things which we know, so I'm not only going to give you some advice, but I do also think that you have some accountability before God in relation to that of which you're now aware.
Anyhow, here's what I think...
First of all, although it is true that we should always seek to honor our parents (and some might therefore consider that you should just stay out of this), it is also true that Jesus said that anyone who loves their father or mother more than they love Him is not worthy of Him:
"He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me." (Matthew 10:37)
IOW, our love for our parents should never trump our love for Jesus and we should therefore always seek to do whatever we believe that Jesus would have us to do in any given situation...come what may. There are actually situations in Jesus' Own life where He placed His Own Father's desires over those of His earthly parents. For example, we read:
Luke chapter 2
[42] And when he was twelve years old, they went up to Jerusalem after the custom of the feast.
[43] And when they had fulfilled the days, as they returned, the child Jesus tarried behind in Jerusalem; and Joseph and his mother knew not of it.
[44] But they, supposing him to have been in the company, went a day's journey; and they sought him among their kinsfolk and acquaintance.
[45] And when they found him not, they turned back again to Jerusalem, seeking him.
[46] And it came to pass, that after three days they found him in the temple, sitting in the midst of the doctors, both hearing them, and asking them questions.
[47] And all that heard him were astonished at his understanding and answers.
[48] And when they saw him, they were amazed: and his mother said unto him, Son, why hast thou thus dealt with us? behold, thy father and I have sought thee sorrowing.
[49] And he said unto them, How is it that ye sought me? wist ye not that I must be about my Father's business?
[50] And they understood not the saying which he spake unto them.
[51] And he went down with them, and came to Nazareth, and was subject unto them: but his mother kept all these sayings in her heart.
[52] And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and man.
Here, Jesus esteemed "being about His Father's business" to be more important than His Own earthly parents and we ought to always do the same ourselves. Again, along these same lines, we read:
Matthew chapter 12
[46] While he yet talked to the people, behold, his mother and his brethren stood without, desiring to speak with him.
[47] Then one said unto him, Behold, thy mother and thy brethren stand without, desiring to speak with thee.
[48] But he answered and said unto him that told him, Who is my mother? and who are my brethren?
[49] And he stretched forth his hand toward his disciples, and said, Behold my mother and my brethren!
[50] For whosoever shall do the will of my Father which is in heaven, the same is my brother, and sister, and mother.
Here, Jesus esteemed those who "do the will of my Father which is in heaven" more than he esteemed His Own natural mother or brothers. Anyhow, my point is that we ought to always seek to do what is right in the Father's or Jesus' eyes FIRST AND FOREMOST...which leads me to this question...
What would the Father and/or Jesus have you to do in this situation?
Personally, I cannot imagine that They would have you to do nothing in that doing nothing could potentially hurt your father, your mother, you, any other siblings which you might have and even any other party which your father might potentially engage in homosexual relations with if he truly has been visiting gay porn sites. As such, I'd recommend the following:
Talk to your mother while the two of you are alone and tell her what you've seen. Why while you are alone? Well, I don't know your mother, but she might react immediately and say or do something which she might not do if she has some time to think about it first while your father is not present. Also, I wouldn't tell her what you've seen in an accusatory manner towards your father, but rather in a concerned manner. I'd also recommend that
BEFORE either of you (I believe that it's only your mother's place to actually confront your father, btw) confront your father that you check to see if there's some way to retrieve his search history from his iPad
FIRST. Why do I suggest the same? Well, even though I don't know anything about your father, I do know quite a bit about general human nature and people are quite apt to deny anything which makes them look bad or guilty and even to, out of desperation, seek to place the blame elsewhere. IOW, in the worst case scenario, your father could potentially seek to place the blame on you and say that you did the searches simply to make him look bad or he could also seek to blame others who might have had access to his iPad. If, however, you have an accurate record of when and at what times such searches were made, then it might be easy to pinpoint your father, assuming that he is in fact guilty, as the one who made the searches himself.
Anyhow, I know that your situation isn't easy, but it's only going to get harder the longer that you just let it sit. I mean, if you do go back to college without doing anything first (and, again, I'm only recommending that you talk to your mother and NOT to your father), then this is just going to continue to weigh heavy upon your heart and mind and your father's situation, assuming that he's actually guilty, is only going to get progressively worse. Think of it as sort of a cancer, if you will...
If you don't treat it in its earliest stages, then...
Anyhow, I see by your profile that you're a Christian and God's grace will ultimately be sufficient for you. At my end, I'll certainly be praying for you all.
I would recommend you not mention anything to your mother for now.
