struggling with porn

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Shane89

Guest
#1
I need help, advice and prayer on how to overcome porn. I hope this doesn't go against the rules.
 
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Elijah19

Guest
#2
There is a way out of Porn. I am living proof through Jesus Christ. I once believed it was an impossible sin that just had to be lived with. That it was a vicious cycle which continued again and again between areas of grief and empty promises I made with tears to heaven – only for withdrawal and relapse to come again. I thought continuous prayer for forgiveness was the only hope I had, and that the slave chain would be unbreakable except by death. Believe me, there are people out there who struggle with Lust in the heart and Porn in a way that is exactly no different then some struggle with drug addiction and alcoholism. I was one of those people. My fight with this has taken years... and by God's saving grace alone, I beat it. This is not just a story, and it's not just me trying to rant off at one of my "pure" moment in between sins, saying that I'll never do it again with lying tears. It can be done. Porn can be broken. God carried me through it. Praise Him for that, Powerful and Mighty! I'm completely clean now. Been that way for about a year to this point (which is amazing, considering the addiction I went through)!

I won't take up your time with a personal story of how the victory happened unless you post a request for it in the replies, because a story's not what you need! I heard enough stories when I searched for the cure! I needed results. What you need are the facts. Here is the cold, hard, bare-bone answer to the terrible question that so many decent Christian men (and even women) are asking. "How do I conquer Porn and Lust in the Heart?"

There are FOUR FACTS that God revealed to me as to how...
Square with them, and you'll be able to win the victory.

1.) YOU don't conquer porn/lust in yourself. GOD conquers porn/lust in you. Submission and Surrender to God are Key:
You know full well that we don't cleanse our sins by our own works, so why should we believe that we can conquer them by our efforts alone or otherwise. Every time you confront a sin (in the very moment of it's appearance) without prayer, God's Word, and surrender to His will; you are saying that you can conquer your sin by your own ability. This is impossible. It is false confidence. Your efforts and force of will are a necessary input in only one respect: that they may move to work the will of God when submitted completely to Him! But first your impulses must submit to God. They are by no means the saving power or strength in this battle.
The only way you will truly get victory from God in this is if you submit to Him. And the only way you can submit to God is to lose trust in yourself and put that trust in your creator instead. Think of it as turning over the wheel and car to Jesus. He’s been telling you all along that He can drive your life, but you keep telling him over and over again with porn that you’ve got this. Apparently, the reason that you’re reading this is because… well… you really don’t and never can. Get down and pray to him right now and give it over. Really “go passive” and let Him carry you like a current.
You’ll be surprised at how much this can actually help, not just with porn, but with anything in life.

2.) The God Based and World Based views of Sex are Polar Opposites:
Since you cannot win this fight without your impulses submitted to your creator, you must educate yourself in the healthy use, understanding, and control of them. For starters, Sexuality (or even Sensuality), by itself, is not a sin. God created it for man with the dual intent that we would reproduce, and enjoy it for the purposes of strengthening of our marriages. In essence The Complete Biblical doctrine concerning Sex, in a nutshell, is this: "Until you are married to someone, you may not have sex with them. Once married to them, you can "have at it" all you want, provided it is only with that one spouse (no polygamy). No sex is Biblically permitted with the same gender (no homosexuality), with relatives (incest), or with those too young (pedophilia). Keep your heart pure from lust of the flesh, except for your "lust" towards your spouse. Also, a lack of sex between spouses is abnormal and Peter writes about it being dysfunctional/detrimental. You are to have sex with your wife/husband only." The world likes to tell us that this take on sex is boring and unadventurous – that it is a repressive, old-world conservative way that is no fun. But doing it the world’s way is what keeps AID's in the earth, and breaks apart families with dysfunction. It also displeases God.
On the other hand, Sex within marriage (even just for fun and recreation – lots of it, if you want) is absolutely encouraged by God’s word. It actually brings blessing to the marriage and keeps a healthy romance going.

3.) Look at Women/Men the Right Way – As human beings created in God’s image:
When I was addicted to porn, I viewed the women on the screen and in the magazines as my toss-around-toys. Because of this, my value for women depreciated, and I began to lose sight of the beauty of the image of God our creator in each of them. Eventually, I began to notice something. This led to me devaluing their human worth in general. Every girl I lusted after with my eyes, wherever I looked on them, began to look like meat for my fodder and fantasy. One horrifying day, I realized that I was beginning to devalue their life as human beings in general over a single moment of selfish obsession – with no consideration and love for them at all. This is not of God. And anyone who does this should realize what kind of grave sin they are committing. Become ashamed, and realize that your fits of lust are essentially telling God, “Those you made in your image are masturbation-meat for a careless moment of selfishness.” Getting disgusted with yourself over this realization can really help you turn away from it.

4.) Understand how contributing to the Porn industry impacts/hurts others:
Have you ever thought of what goes on inside the porn industry? Sex trafficking, drugs, abuse, diseases, abortions, and human damnation… all paid for by the money you spent on that magazine, or supported by the views that you gave their website video. In other words, by partaking in viewing porn, you are essentially lending your willing hand in support of all these immoral practices. Some really horrible things happen to the poor lost souls in that industry, and I encourage you to research the Christian testimonies of ex-porn stars and see what kind of hell they when through – all for your cheap thrills. If you contribute to something, you are a part of it! Feeling repentant yet?!! Whenever you contributed to the porn industry by supporting them with your money or viewings at their sites, you just gave your support – to Satan. Um, don’t do that anymore!

Lastly…

I assure you again that this can be done. God did it in me. There is no shame in having natural sexual interest and attraction/desire. But where does the line between healthy desire and lust fall? It falls at the point where you devalue the other person selfishly and/or give support to darkness. It falls at the point where healthy, God-given natural interest becomes selfishness and covet. If you are married, sleep with your spouse. Do it all you want with each other, no holds barred. It’s not wrong in marriage. If you’re not doing it with each other, chances are you’re either doing it with someone else or in danger of being just about to. Porn is a place where lonely people turn. I know because I’m single and VERY VERY VERY lonely. On a side note, please pray that God sends someone for me. But loneliness is no excuse for porn. It only leaves you more empty. If you’re single like me, my advice to you is this: stay active. Find something to DO with your time. “Idle hands breed the devil’s work” is a very true statement. Keep active and try to use your time while you are single for God. It is most likely that the reason you have not found someone yet is because your character is being molded and prepared for God’s purposes so that the time is right for the relationship to begin. This is healthier for us, because we will then be ready for the relationship. I hope this advice helps, and God Bless You and All…

In His Love,
Elijah19
 
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Sirk

Guest
#3
Chase after your pain and insecurities....that is how you stop medicating behaviors. Unprocessed pain always leads to anger, depression or anxiety and often a combination of the three which always lead to addictive unhealthy behaviors. I tell people this every time on here. You GOTTA chase the pain.
 
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Kaycie

Guest
#4
Pornography and other sexual sins

Why is it that if we have a medial issue with our arm we can easily talk about it with people, but if the problem is with our colon we are more reluctant? But more importantly, don’t you know that there is nothing more important than your spiritual health? This body won’t last forever but your soul will. I don’t care what sin problem you have- it is a terminal condition that you must be rid of right away. God- Who performed the first physical surgery (Gen. 2:21) can also set you free from any sin and create in you a new heart- if you want Him to.

First, understand the root cause of your sexual perversion. When you first started to have sexual feelings/attractions, were you made to feel ashamed by anyone, or feel you had to hide it for any reason? This is a topic often giggled about and teased. When in fact, sex is a natural part of life- even commanded by God (“be fruitful and multiply” Gen. 1:28). Sex, the way God intended it, is very good. So what goes wrong? Let’s compare it to physical hunger. When a newborn baby’s stomach is introduced to food for the first time, from this moment on they will need food. (Which is why a newborn developing baby should not have food till it’s proper time).

But if they grow up being made to feel ashamed for eating, they will still eat- but now they will have to hide it and feel guilty about it. Therefore now, in the mind, sneakiness and guilt are asociated and mixed with the feelings of hunger- till the mind is convinced they are inseparable. This is what is wrong- somewhere along the way blue paint got mixed with yellow- now you got green, and perversion was born- which can grow to cause many sexual sins- since it needs to thrive off that shock factor of lust.

But there is good news- the blue and yellow paint can be separated once again. Once again your brain can associate sex with love instead of lust, and when it does, lustful things such as pornography will seem like what they are- repulsive garbage. There are many forms of love, but in speaking of a romantic relationship, I like love, I like caring and being cared about, don‘t you? And when you see the contrast, that there is no love in lust ,you will leave lustful situations if love is your drive.

You see, in the spiritual world there are only two things that drive a person- money and love- you can't have both drive you at the same time. Well the same is true sexually- your drive will either be lust or love. And way down deep in your thoughts, in your heart, in your soul, you can genuinely switch drivers- but not on your own- this can only be done with God’s help and a genuine want to change. Identify and dig out that root (whatever that is) that it may grow no more
 
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sonoran

Junior Member
Oct 12, 2014
4
0
1
#6
Beautiful post brother Porn is based on lust where God's plan is based on pure love between a man and woman. God is not keeping sex from us, but keeping sex for us in His Godly plan. Porn is a billion dollar industry as you said that wrecks lives. It is like a drug that never satisfies; only creating the desire for more vile images until a person's life and family is destroyed I live in Las Vegas and the porn industry has moved in here big time due to more regulations in California (San Fernando Valley is the porn capital of the world) California has passed laws that condoms have to be used due to Aids. Now they are coming here and 4 porn stars have contracted AIDS in the last month here. That is only a sampling of the destruction that it does to an individual as it never satisfies and satan wants it that way so he can cause further and further damge to families and individuals. I have some colleagues that are into it and I often ask them"Do you realize that is someone's sister, mother or daughter you are watching. One of God's children created in love being abused and defiled as a piece of trash. I pray for ths country, but I am afraid it is too late. One can only pray and focus on their own salvation. We are truly in the end times.
 
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emcmahon2288

Guest
#7
I would like to tell you that what your friends have posted are very true. I just got a divorce three months ago because my husband wanted to have sex and I refused because he had no respect for women. He is a male shove nosy. On top of me refusing he kicked me out of the bedroom and said "get your things and get out of my bedroom I am going to start masturbating to pornography" the next day he asked me for a divorce simply because I did not agree with his views on sex and porn. If you come across a woman and continue this addiction you will end up destroying your marriage or relationship. You must break this addiction with the help of the all mighty and I know he will help just trust him.
 
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Shane89

Guest
#8
Thank you very much everybody. I am fighting my battle against porn with great success.
 
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Shane89

Guest
#9
And you are very correct. Pornography puts a very negative image of how a sex life should be.
 
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Shane89

Guest
#10
Beautiful post brother Porn is based on lust where God's plan is based on pure love between a man and woman. God is not keeping sex from us, but keeping sex for us in His Godly plan. Porn is a billion dollar industry as you said that wrecks lives. It is like a drug that never satisfies; only creating the desire for more vile images until a person's life and family is destroyed I live in Las Vegas and the porn industry has moved in here big time due to more regulations in California (San Fernando Valley is the porn capital of the world) California has passed laws that condoms have to be used due to Aids. Now they are coming here and 4 porn stars have contracted AIDS in the last month here. That is only a sampling of the destruction that it does to an individual as it never satisfies and satan wants it that way so he can cause further and further damge to families and individuals. I have some colleagues that are into it and I often ask them"Do you realize that is someone's sister, mother or daughter you are watching. One of God's children created in love being abused and defiled as a piece of trash. I pray for ths country, but I am afraid it is too late. One can only pray and focus on their own salvation. We are truly in the end times.
Thank you so much for putting this on a different angel. You have been very helpful. God bless you.
 

breno785au

Senior Member
Jul 23, 2013
6,002
764
113
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Australia
#11
If you come across a woman and continue this addiction you will end up destroying your marriage or relationship.
I'm sorry about your experience but this is simply. not. true.

I went into marriage with a porn issue, my wife knew about it as I was open about it with her. Having her by my side, to support me, to help me see who God has made me to be, as a consolation, a truth bearer, a lover, I don't know how I would've or how much longer it would've taken for me to get out of it if I didn't have a godly woman by my side. A great testament to her.
 
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Dec 20, 2014
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3
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#12
Thank you very much everybody. I am fighting my battle against porn with great success.
Congratulations, Shane. What have you done to bring about the success?
 
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Sirk

Guest
#13
Porn induces a chemical high in the addicts brain. Over time it takes more frequent and longer duration viewing to get the "high". Why does someone want to get high in the first place? It's really simple....to escape from unprocessed pain and or insecurity.
 
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Rudimental

Guest
#14
You'll grow out of it soon enough. Just give thanks to God for everything.

God WILL bring you to the finish line brother!

We are MORE than conquerers through Christ!
 

sonoran

Junior Member
Oct 12, 2014
4
0
1
#16
Hi Shane89
You are most welcome. I say this out of love brother because even as Christians we all still fight demons and addictions. Mine has been food over the years and I am now paying the price for it with diabetes, sleep apnea and end stage arthritis in my left ankle from carrying too much weight. Everyone fights temptations and demons, be it porn or overeating, drinking, workaholic, etc.) But with prayer we need to seek and find strength from God and I know he will lead me back towards health. Being a child in Christ and having his assurance of salvation does give us strength when we are tempted, but please don't beat your self up over it as satan wants us to continue to feel guilty and helpless. I have fallen victim to that and have backslid in regards to taking weight off, Look to the Lord when you are tempted and allow him to guide you and if it be His will, He will bring a Godly Christian woman to you to love and share your life with as is His plan. God bless you brother
 

mailmandan

Senior Member
Apr 7, 2014
25,037
13,041
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#17
A poll conducted by one of the world's most visited Christian website indicates a surprising number of Christians are addicted to pornography.

"The poll results indicate that 50% of all Christian men and 20% of all Christian women are addicted to pornography.

The group defines "addicted" as applied to pornography as use on an ongoing basis.

"We are seeing an escalation to the problem in both men and women who regularly attend church," said Bill Cooper, President of ChristiaNet.com.

"No one is immunized against the vice-grip clutches of sexual addictive behaviors," reads a release issued by the site. "The people who struggle with the repeated pursuit of sexual gratification include church members, deacons, staff, and yes, even clergy."

If David, who was “a man after God’s own heart,” and many other strong men and women of faith yielded to sexual temptation, it could happen to any of us. Pornography may be the new addiction of this new century. Researchers are finding that when people indulge in porn, they release powerful chemicals in their brain and body. Mark Kastleman, author of The Drug of the New Millennium, said, "There are a growing number of therapists and psychologists who are saying that this is as addictive as cocaine," or alcohol, or even heroin. He explained that, when people view porn, "It causes the brain to release what we call endogenous drugs or endogenous chemicals. 'Endogenous' meaning 'produced from within.' So where cocaine or alcohol seek to mimic the brain's natural chemicals, pornography releases the real deal. And so we have things like adrenaline, epinephrine, ACTH."

Due to our fallen nature, we will have to deal with the temptation to lust until we die. The temptation to lust will come in many forms including ungodly sexual appetites; and there are lusts, such as the lust of power, fame or position. We must rely on the power of the Holy Spirit inside us to overcome lust every day. We cannot overcome it in our own strength. No matter the form of lust we face, we can be assured that we have a High Priest and Advocate with the Father who "understands every weakness of ours" and "was tempted in every way that we are. But He did not sin" (Hebrews 4:15; 1 John 2:1).
 
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micki73

Guest
#18
Bless you for your confession. I will pray for your continued healing.