My wife has admitted to cheating on me.

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.

DiscipleDave

Senior Member
Sep 4, 2012
3,095
69
48
#61
UPDATE: I wish I had good news but my wife has left me for a 3rd time admitting she does not hold any hope or desire for rebuilding our marriage, her heart has turned cold to me and said she hates me for not paying attention to her sooner, I am planning on beginning divorce proceedings which I do with a heavy heart, I would prefer it if she is to see other men I don't want her married to me if that's her intent. I pray to Jesus that he comfort me during the darkest period of my life and not have me fall into any old addictions to cope with the loss.
Do you want a divorce? Why are you filing for one then?
Does she want the divorce? Let her file for one then.
Scriptures teach all Christians NOT to seek a divorce. You don't seek one then. If she seeks a divorce then let her divorce you.

^i^ Responding to post #31
 

DiscipleDave

Senior Member
Sep 4, 2012
3,095
69
48
#62
And what am I to do if she becomes truly repentant? Do I take her back only if she knows that will not trust her for a very long time.
Instead of worrying about that NOW, cross that bridge when it happens.

^i^ Responding to post #33
 

DiscipleDave

Senior Member
Sep 4, 2012
3,095
69
48
#63
lol, i am responding to posts over two weeks ago, moving on now

^i^
 
B

brokn_07

Guest
#64
I'm in the same situation...my husband told me the same thing but now after he caught his "other" in a lie he tells me that it has always been me and he just realized he didn't really care about her
..so now I'm trying to get thru this day by day. Yes I love him still and I want to work it out but I'm scared.
hope you find peace and your not alone. We all have to try to work it out....right??
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
70,862
9,581
113
#65
it's kinda hard for mystik to work it out with his wife when she flat out refuses to even talk to him..there's a point when you just have to let go and let God take over..
 
S

SnowyRiver

Guest
#66
***UPDATE***

Sorry I have not responded for so long, but it has been a whirlwind few months. I felt obliged to give an update to my situation. Since my last post I had decided to leave our home because I felt she would not change, it was the most gut wrenching and hardest thing I ever had to do in my life. I explained I did not wish to be with her anymore and was ready to move on no matter how hard I knew in my heart that was going to be. But something strange happened she had a change of heart and the coldness that had surrounded her heart had melted.

She asked me to come home so we could try to work on marriage, I had to give this long, hard thought, I found myself at a crossroads, I knew there were now 2 paths in front of me and each was going to change my life regardless. I knew in my heart of hearts that I truly loved her and decided to try forgiveness, so far we are still together and working on it day by day with God's help, if God was not in our marriage we would have been divorced already. I am by no means saying that this road to forgiveness is easy, it really depends on what kind of person you are, as all of us are different, but she has renewed her faith in Christ as have I and we both hope that we can stay on this road to recovery.

I also wanted to say thank you for all your support and wisdom the people here had given to me through scripture during the darkest time in my life, I knew Jesus had come to me and was holding my hand to keep me from falling even though there were many days I wanted to. I will try to come here and help the unfortunate others that go through this terrible thing that is called divorce and hopefully impart some of the wisdom and learnings I hope to have learned from all this. Thank you for reading my story, and most of all for your prayers. God bless you all.
 
Last edited by a moderator:

NotmebutHim

Senior Member
May 17, 2015
2,917
1,589
113
47
#67
A husband and wife need not divorce in cases of adultery, but to do so would not be antichrist.
 
Apr 15, 2014
2,050
38
0
#68
***UPDATE***

Sorry I have not responded for so long, but it has been a whirlwind few months. I felt obliged to give an update to my situation. Since my last post I had decided to leave our home because I felt she would not change, it was the most gut wrenching and hardest thing I ever had to do in my life. I explained I did not wish to be with her anymore and was ready to move on no matter how hard I knew in my heart that was going to be. But something strange happened she had a change of heart and the coldness that had surrounded her heart had melted.

She asked me to come home so we could try to work on marriage, I had to give this long, hard thought, I found myself at a crossroads, I knew there were now 2 paths in front of me and each was going to change my life regardless. I knew in my heart of hearts that I truly loved her and decided to try forgiveness, so far we are still together and working on it day by day with God's help, if God was not in our marriage we would have been divorced already. I am by no means saying that this road to forgiveness is easy, it really depends on what kind of person you are, as all of us are different, but she has renewed her faith in Christ as have I and we both hope that we can stay on this road to recovery.

I also wanted to say thank you for all your support and wisdom the people here had given to me through scripture during the darkest time in my life, I knew Jesus had come to me and was holding my hand to keep me from falling even though there were many days I wanted to. I will try to come here and help the unfortunate others that go through this terrible thing that is called divorce and hopefully impart some of the wisdom and learnings I hope to have learned from all this. Thank you for reading my story, and most of all for your prayers. God bless you all.
BEAUTIFUL! How encouraging. I pray that the two of you continue to grow in grace together and that your marriage can be healed. What an awesome testimony for the two of you. God bless you both and I'll be praying too.
 
Mar 21, 2015
643
4
0
#69
There is an interesting story in John 8 about a woman caught in adultery.
It is often used to show that Jesus was opposed to stoning.
Unfortunately, Jesus doesn't clearly say that he is, and the story may not belong in the Bible anyway, since it is not found in the oldest and best manuscripts.
 

Jesus4ever

Senior Member
May 18, 2015
783
19
18
#70
So sorry to know that, brother. I thank God for you to forgive her. Divorce is horrible, brother, and you seem to be a very good man. Dedicate both to God, with all your hearts and after that, treat yourselves as the most important thing after Him...as it should be.


May God bless you and your marriage.
 
F

Filledwithhope

Guest
#71
Hello,
Many times people give up on a good thing. If she is asking for your forgiveness, please give it - sounds like you have. It isn't going to be easy but the enemy seeks to destroy and we must not let him.. So many times people make decisions to divorce and then regret it for the rest of their lives. Everyone makes mistakes. We all sin. Some sins feel worse to us than others, but it's all sin. Given the right circumstances, any one of us could fall. You sound like your heart is right. I will keep you in my prayers my friend. I am sorry for the pain you are feeling :(
 
R

Rosesrock

Guest
#72
***UPDATE***

Sorry I have not responded for so long, but it has been a whirlwind few months. I felt obliged to give an update to my situation. Since my last post I had decided to leave our home because I felt she would not change, it was the most gut wrenching and hardest thing I ever had to do in my life. I explained I did not wish to be with her anymore and was ready to move on no matter how hard I knew in my heart that was going to be. But something strange happened she had a change of heart and the coldness that had surrounded her heart had melted.

She asked me to come home so we could try to work on marriage, I had to give this long, hard thought, I found myself at a crossroads, I knew there were now 2 paths in front of me and each was going to change my life regardless. I knew in my heart of hearts that I truly loved her and decided to try forgiveness, so far we are still together and working on it day by day with God's help, if God was not in our marriage we would have been divorced already. I am by no means saying that this road to forgiveness is easy, it really depends on what kind of person you are, as all of us are different, but she has renewed her faith in Christ as have I and we both hope that we can stay on this road to recovery.

I also wanted to say thank you for all your support and wisdom the people here had given to me through scripture during the darkest time in my life, I knew Jesus had come to me and was holding my hand to keep me from falling even though there were many days I wanted to. I will try to come here and help the unfortunate others that go through this terrible thing that is called divorce and hopefully impart some of the wisdom and learnings I hope to have learned from all this. Thank you for reading my story, and most of all for your prayers. God bless you all.
What a blessing....please listen to this....
[video]https://youtu.be/RhxELo-uD3c[/video]
 
F

Filledwithhope

Guest
#73
This is so great to hear! It won't be easy and you will be tempted with jealous and angry thoughts at times (just seems to be the truth) but don't give up and don't give in to that..the devil would love it if you did. You are under authority of Christ, not the evil one... God is in the business of restoration. And he can make it even better than it ever was. The evil one cannot take it from you if you don't let it... I will keep you in my prayers. God bless you both!
 
Jun 23, 2015
30
0
0
#74
know that Forgiveness is the best path, YAHUVEH loves you and only wants what's best for you, but I would be careful about churches as we are close to the tribulation, the sundaY Law will come soon, then the mark of the beast. YAHUSHUA ha MASHIACH our savior should help you but seek him not in the den of wolves that satan will make the churches once the sundaY Law is in place, and use his hebrew name after the start of the sundaY Law, because the name Jesus Christ will be being used by the real son of satan in the tribulation. SaturdaY IS THE SABBATH. praise YAHUVEH THE HEAVENLY FATHER for people who can forgive like you. God Bless you, I pray for your success.
 
N

Nekisha_Kira

Guest
#75
I'm really sorry for what you've gone threw, its not easy when our family has problem.. I am praying for u
 
S

SnowyRiver

Guest
#76
2nd Update!! Sorry it has taken me this long to report, but it has been a whirlwind couple of years. Where shall I begin, I only hope my testimony can help others out there that feel hopeless in their marriage. The road to recovery for my marriage was indeed a rocky and hard road, I came to the crossroads of my life and had to make hard choices, but in the end I am glad I made them, we have experienced hardships together, and walked forward in Christ and it has taken me on a journey to be closer with him, my strength now comes from our Father and though I do fail him at times in my obedience I walk on never giving up. Our focus stopped being on each other and instead on Jesus and in doing so has brought us closer than we have ever dreamed possible, our love is restored and trust rebuilding, we have done away with our old marriage covenant and started a new one from the ashes of the old. He is like the 3rd strand that binds our marriage and she has really progesssed in her walk with God, we together have seen the Holy Spirit move and manifest itself, I understand that our life is short here and it is not about us in the end it's about serving and glorifying our Lord with our time here on Earth. I practice living in the spirit and not in the world. It's all about love and forgiveness, just as He so lovingly forgives us, we must also forgive each other. The problems of this world are minuscule compared to eternity, I am not saying everything is absolutely perfect because nothing is. But I am saying that if 2 people are truly willing to change for each other and allow God into their relationship anything is possible with the Lord. Thank you all for your prayers and keep your eyes on God. Jesus bless you and keep you.
 

mcubed

Senior Member
Dec 20, 2013
1,449
218
63
#77
It is always righteous to fight for marriage. When I found out my ex-husband was having an affair (it had been going on for four months when I found out) I told him, “Stop having an affair and go Christian counseling with me or I want a divorce”. He responded, “get a divorce”.

Now that did not come easy to say to him, I know about the affair for about a month but I prayed nonstop (I mean literally) about what I should do. See I never believed in making a threat I cannot back up, especially divorce. So, the next day I filled for divorce and was divorced in 1 month.

G-d is the healer of all wounds, even the heart break of adultery, weather you guys stay married or not you will have to heal. But it is right and just down right better to have G-d heal your marriage if she will stop having an affair.

Marriage is just common since too, two incomes, dating again, being alone, no sex until you get married again (if you don’t want to sin).
It is foolish to want to divorce, not foolish to forgive and save the marriage.
 
May 5, 2017
39
3
0
#78
When you state that you forgive your wife. You are starting that you are moving on. I understand the hurt you feel, and probably even the trust that probably isn't there, but you can't hang it over her head once you have reconciled. In my opinion, you both need to be completely open and honest. Because that is the first step in healing. I would suggest going to get counciling for this, because there's alot of hurts here and the more you voice your hurts and are open, the quicker you can start to heal.i also applaud you as well. Forgiving someone for cheating isn't an easy thing. But because you are stating you forgive her, you can't live in the past. Now if she does it again, I would suggest divorce, but that is between you and God. I can only give you my opinion. I hope it all works out :)
 

Zen

Senior Member
Sep 11, 2015
752
16
18
#79
The teaching that Jesus allows divorce for adultery is antichrist.
No it's not.

Matthew 5:32
But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

I honestly feel disgusted for OP. It's only after reading horrendous stories like this do I remember how horrible it is in God's eyes, there's a reason they were stoned to death.

May God bless you OP and bring you all the desires of your heart and a better woman.
 
S

Stewart

Guest
#80
I think your an amazing man and yiu have tremendous courage not to walk away for her.There are going to be some dark times ahead as yiu both try to walk throughout this.You wife needs to realise the extensive damage her sin has caused and how deeply wounded you have been.

it will take time to be able to trust her again
it will take time to be intimate with her again
it will take time to endure the agony of her betraying your trust
it will take time for god to heal yiou emotionally
it will take time for moments of anger,blame ect to eventually calm down
it will take time for her to get over the shame and regret of what she had done
it will take time for you both to get through the emotional,relational and spiritual damage caused by all this

when you forgive someone it doesn't stop the pain and sorrow.Healing is want s needed by god and it is a day by day process
also there had to be a reason why she had the affair..