My wife has admitted to cheating on me.

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S

Stewart

Guest
#81
#81
Stewart said:
I think your an amazing man and yiu have tremendous courage not to walk away for her.There are going to be some dark times ahead as yiu both try to walk throughout this.You wife needs to realise the extensive damage her sin has caused and how deeply wounded you have been.

it will take time to be able to trust her again
it will take time to be intimate with her again
it will take time to endure the agony of her betraying your trust
it will take time for god to heal yiou emotionally
it will take time for moments of anger,blame ect to eventually calm down
it will take time for her to get over the shame and regret of what she had done
it will take time for you both to get through the emotional,relational and spiritual damage caused by all this

when you forgive someone it doesn't stop the pain and sorrow.Healing is want s needed by god and it is a day by day process
also there had to be a reason why she had the affair..
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hi me again (I hadn't finished)..
at some point you will both need to revisit the state of the marriage around the time she had the affair and it could be very painful off you both to do this and maybe having a third party manage this discussion would help.
sometimes a woman can end up having an affair for a variety of reason(see below)

1-feeling bored/unforfilled/neglected(and someone else makes then feel attractive/desirable/alive/forfilled ..ect
2- feeling sexually aroused by someone else and then sexual tension develops between them and the other person
3-being manipulated by someone else/or manipulating someone themselves
4- spiritual attack by the powers of darkness direct (they can distort a persons perspective on the marriage ect

this isn't to say that you yourself could be the reason it happened..not at all..yet if there was an underlining issue somewhere going on then it may need addressing and those areas get strengthened by god and any other weak spots within the marriage structure be protected by god.

may god be with yiu both on this painful road..but with god in the center..may he make your marriage be even better that it was before!!
 
C

CaptainGoat

Guest
#82
#82
SnowyRiver said:
***UPDATE***

Sorry I have not responded for so long, but it has been a whirlwind few months. I felt obliged to give an update to my situation. Since my last post I had decided to leave our home because I felt she would not change, it was the most gut wrenching and hardest thing I ever had to do in my life. I explained I did not wish to be with her anymore and was ready to move on no matter how hard I knew in my heart that was going to be. But something strange happened she had a change of heart and the coldness that had surrounded her heart had melted.

She asked me to come home so we could try to work on marriage, I had to give this long, hard thought, I found myself at a crossroads, I knew there were now 2 paths in front of me and each was going to change my life regardless. I knew in my heart of hearts that I truly loved her and decided to try forgiveness, so far we are still together and working on it day by day with God's help, if God was not in our marriage we would have been divorced already. I am by no means saying that this road to forgiveness is easy, it really depends on what kind of person you are, as all of us are different, but she has renewed her faith in Christ as have I and we both hope that we can stay on this road to recovery.

I also wanted to say thank you for all your support and wisdom the people here had given to me through scripture during the darkest time in my life, I knew Jesus had come to me and was holding my hand to keep me from falling even though there were many days I wanted to. I will try to come here and help the unfortunate others that go through this terrible thing that is called divorce and hopefully impart some of the wisdom and learnings I hope to have learned from all this. Thank you for reading my story, and most of all for your prayers. God bless you all.
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That's BIG. It is a big thing to do to forgive and let love carry you through. I hope all goes well.
Take it easy. Enjoy each others company! :)
 
C

CaptainGoat

Guest
#83
#83
Stewart said:
hi me again (I hadn't finished)..
at some point you will both need to revisit the state of the marriage around the time she had the affair and it could be very painful off you both to do this and maybe having a third party manage this discussion would help.
sometimes a woman can end up having an affair for a variety of reason(see below)

1-feeling bored/unforfilled/neglected(and someone else makes then feel attractive/desirable/alive/forfilled ..ect
2- feeling sexually aroused by someone else and then sexual tension develops between them and the other person
3-being manipulated by someone else/or manipulating someone themselves
4- spiritual attack by the powers of darkness direct (they can distort a persons perspective on the marriage ect

this isn't to say that you yourself could be the reason it happened..not at all..yet if there was an underlining issue somewhere going on then it may need addressing and those areas get strengthened by god and any other weak spots within the marriage structure be protected by god.

may god be with yiu both on this painful road..but with god in the center..may he make your marriage be even better that it was before!!
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Let's not get too complicated.. Let's let the lady and gentleman rebuild their lives with love. Complications bring stress! Keep it simple. :)
 
S

Stewart

Guest
#84
#84
CaptainGoat said:
Let's not get too complicated.. Let's let the lady and gentleman rebuild their lives with love. Complications bring stress! Keep it simple. :)
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What are you talking about?
Have you ever been through something like this yourself??
i sent him to encourage him as it takes time and often having some perspective on somethings you may go through helps a greet deal.There are good times and testing times as one works through this.

there are often things to work through (over time naturally)
and with gods help one gets there!
Belive me I know what I'm talking about!
If you saw in my opening comments I praised him for not walking away and with gods help they will both experience gods wonderful restoring power!
 
J

JamesD

Guest
#85
#85
I'm so sorry for your situation. I hope you have found peace. I think it's honorable that you're willing to work it out but keep in mind that the trust is gone and repairing it will take time. I will be praying for you. If you need someone to talk to, I went through the same thing. God bless you brother.
 
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slshannon

Guest
#86
#86
thats great Praise Jesus!
 
C

Craigb513

Member
#87
Dec 15, 2016
104
26
18
#87
You must forgive it is what is right in the way of god
 
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